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The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board  |  Trivial Pursuits  |  Wild Card (Moderators: wombat, Bozack)  |  Topic: This Poll Is Not About ##### 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Poll
Question: Should I buy a kilt?  (Voting closed: May 21, 2004, 07:59:16 PM)
Hells yeah doggie, get your kilt on! - 9 (39.1%)
Are you all TWISTY on GREEN? - 9 (39.1%)
Whatever, FAG. - 5 (21.7%)
Total Voters: 22

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 Go Down Print
Author Topic: This Poll Is Not About #####  (Read 4391 times)
Bozack
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« on: May 21, 2004, 07:59:16 PM »

Okay, so it's godawfully hot in Kentucky right now, and I spend most of my work day wearing jeans or cords, running around. Which means I am one hot, hot dog. However, I think there might be a solution:

However, here's the thing: you know how there's always some guy who's got a kilt, and wears it, and thinks he's really awesome for doing so? I don't want to be that guy. I just want to be the guy who doesn't like a sweaty ass. Would I be massively lame for buying those?
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« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2004, 08:10:46 PM »

PAT!  Don't wear a cape!

Yes, wearing a kilt would be highly affected.

Jeans and cords are hot because they're heavier fabrics.  Get some light weight khakis.
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« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2004, 08:22:30 PM »

You might also want to consider getting a specialized licence plate that says RENFAIR for your car.

Seriously, though, I don't think it would be such a negative societal development if dudes outside the arrogant frat-boy demographic started wearing kilts.
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« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2004, 08:30:54 PM »

Having run about in the plaid in the past I feel I must inform you that this is a dangerous path.  A kilt ain't all that confortable, even after you make it through the 'what the hell's with this swishing sensation' break in period.  I don't know about your environment, but a kilt tends to bring about additional heckelry that you'll have to deal with.  It's a hassle.

As I was, you will wing up being tagged as THAT GUY.  It worked for me in specific instances and venues which I doubt you can, or would care to, replicate.

For your health and sanity perhaps this one time August is right.
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« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2004, 08:51:07 PM »

As one who can -- and does -- occasionally wear skirts in public without being ridiculed, I can attest that a good pair of lightweight chinos (the color-neutral term for khakis) are far, far more comfortable than your average over-the-knee.  

Then again, you probably wouldn't wear it with pantyhose.  

Pedro would probably recommend these.  According to Time magazine, one of the ten best inventions of 2000.  

Pants.
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« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2004, 08:58:53 PM »

Are you Scottish?  If so, then get a kilt in your correct tartan.

Clan Campbell RULES!
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« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2004, 09:26:35 PM »

As a female who wears skirts as little as possible, I second jl's opinion.  In fact even without pantyhose, skirts are not as comfortable in the summer as you are imagining.   Shorts are better than anything else.
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« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2004, 09:44:50 PM »

Quote from: "wombat"
In fact even without pantyhose, skirts are not as comfortable in the summer as you are imagining.   Shorts are better than anything else.

I don't know, man. I've spent some time in some skirts, and the "nadular mobility factor" felt pretty amazing. However, yeah, I didn't want to say it, but I'd feel like I should be rocking out with my renfaire chainmail and claymore all the time.
I am Scottish, but I'd really rather not drop like $500 on the tartan and everything.
However, I do notice that, although the COMMENTS are overwhelmingly negative, the poll is in a three way tie. We'll decide this DEMOCRATICALLY, damn it.
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« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2004, 09:47:58 PM »

Quote from: "Bozack"
However, I do notice that, although the COMMENTS are overwhelmingly negative, the poll is in a three way tie. We'll decide this DEMOCRATICALLY, damn it.


The positve votes are the ones that are trying to screw you over using anonimity and you precious democratic process.

They just want to laugh at your pain, man.
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« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2004, 09:58:03 PM »

Quote from: "Bozack"
However, I do notice that, although the COMMENTS are overwhelmingly negative, the poll is in a three way tie. We'll decide this DEMOCRATICALLY, damn it.


I got caught up with the chads hanging off my Diebold voting machine.  So I'm giving up on democracy and just telling you: If you wear a kilt to work, half of me will respect you for it.  Really nobody else will.  So that's half a person for you, and about 6 billion against.  Even people in Scotland would be all, "For the love a' crap, laddy.  Put some ##### on."

So from half of my brain to you, "Go for it!"


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« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2004, 09:58:53 PM »

I actually think that looks fuck*ng rad, especially with those boots. I've also worn a skirt or two in my time, and I think they're pretty damn neat, citing Bozack's "nadular mobility factor" u.s.w.

Of course, going so far as to go out in public under non-Halloween situations might be pushing one's luck. Especially in Kentucky (what the fuck are you doing in Kentucky?). Not because I give two shits about the "you're two years away from an ascot and jewel-studded cane, you precious fop" factor so much as I wouldn't want to have to explain every thirty-fuck*ng-five seconds that yes, okay, technically this is a skirt and yes, I am a guy and no, I don't crave the dick.

But if you can pull it off, get on down with your bad self.
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« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2004, 10:20:19 PM »

Quote from: "jldunston"
Pedro would probably recommend these.  According to Time magazine, one of the ten best inventions of 2000.  

Pants.

I fricken love the mobile #####. I have 2 pair and would love to convert to those entirely except that tha both Hecht's and Penny's stopped selling them and I can't find another other stores that ever had them.
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« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2004, 10:23:45 PM »

Are they called the Mocker for a reason? Or is that just to set you up for the Mockery you are likely to get if you wear it?  The picture is of a garment that looks significantly less masculine than a "classic" tartan kilt.
The dude also looks much smaller and less likely to crush anyone who mocks him than your average Highland Games competitor.

The advantage that I can see is that you can probably run a little faster in that  than in #####. But if you were wearing #####, less people would want to kick your ass in the first place.

Chinos are the way to go - take it from a guy in a place where hot is the year-round. And humid too. The hot isn't the problem in #####, it's the humidity + sweat - the sac sweat and the chafing are the real issues. Boxers + a cute schoolgirl pleated skirt like this would take care of those problems but would open up a backfiring can of whoopass in some parts.
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« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2004, 10:33:32 PM »

The women say it's less comfortable and I guess they would know.  The guys are pointing out the obvious that A kilt gets a lot of unwanted attention from stupid people just off the turnip truck.  It takes a big man to either put up with all that shit or kick ass on a pretty much constant basis.  Lets face it, if you wear a kilt you are gonna get heckled.  However only a few have pointed out that the Kilt is AWESOME!!!  But Bro., you gotta get the tartan, otherwise it's just a skirt.

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« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2004, 10:49:36 PM »

Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
Boxers + a cute schoolgirl pleated skirt


I was afraid to mention it but something like this (except I personally would NOT wear the pleats) is actually the most comfortable solution.

Aw jeez, now I've got strange men on the Internet thinking about my underwear, right?  My momma warned me it would come to this.
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc
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