Money is no object

[AugustWest]

OK, here's the scenario.

Two years ago you won the biggest Powerball evar.  $500 million.  You officially have a shitload of money.  You've spent the last two years engaging in hella debauchery.  You've bought the stuff -- the houses, the cars, the drugs, the sexual partners.  It's starting to get boring.  You feel the deep seated need to approach some great task or undertake some wild undertaking.

What do you do?

Assume that you've already done and bought all the self-indulgent stuff that you'd ever wanted and you still had Scrooge McDuck type assets.  You're Bill Gates at 50.  You're pretty much utterly free to do whatever the hell it is that you want.  What is it?

[jough]

Jeopardy winnings burning a hole in your pocket, cuz?

I'd visit somewhere that people don't usually visit on vacation, like Nepal or South Africa.  Don't stay in a hotel - rent a villa - integrate yourself into the local population as quickly as possible.  Sing songs with the childen.

Have a total stranger killed for your amusement.

[Bozack]

Damn...ummmm...I seriously have no idea. I'd like to think I'd figure out around how much it would cost me to live relatively comfortably for the rest of my days and then start some sort of fund to spend the rest of the money, as decided by a group of advisors. I'd probably would actually spend the money on building a "Milennium Falcon" of my own, but I'd like to THINK....
I don't know, man. I'd feel so much responsibility, I don't know if I could take it. How would you decide what to fund, and how to fund it? For instance, is it better that we cure AIDS or end world hunger? If we end world hunger, and the world simply becomes overcrowded, until the carrying capacity of Earth is passed and millions die out, is it your fault?
Wow,  I almost made a reference to a comic book. I guess I will. In the latest issue of "Enginehead," this completely wacked out comic about this bizarre ***** thing, the superhero ***** thing realizes that, because he saved the life of one little boy from getting hit by a truck, the trucking company will get sued out of business and at least 4 people will commit suicide. If you have some sort of special ability, or you're just mind-bogglingly rich, do you have an obligation to help people? What if you just fuck things up even more? The road to hell is paved with etc., etc.

I LEARNED MORALS FROM DC COMICS.

[jay-ell]

This is gonna sound so lame, that all your eyes are going to roll simultaneously with a force that might make the earth wobble on its axis.  

I'd start a family foundation.  

 :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

Seriously!  I mean, on first winning the money, I'd pay off my house, my credit cards, and my student loans, and put aside money for grad school.  Then I'd pay off my parents' houses and credit cards.  Then I'd pay for my brother and his wife to have a new house built, since they outgrew their current home about two kids ago.  Then I'd pay off my in-laws' house, credit cards, and send my brother-in-law to college.  Then I'd buy a second car.  Maybe one of them electrical hi-breed thingers.  

Then I'd have about $0.50 left.  

Hah.  Seriously, if I could do all those things and still have more money than I could use right away, it's always been a dream of ours (mine and Pedro's) to start a family foundation that raises and donates funds to various charities.  I'd want to support research on diabetes, Crohn's and autism, since those three have a serious impact on my immediate family.  And I'd want to provide scholarships for autistic preschoolers whose families can't afford occupational therapy.  I'd want to support historians-in-training who intend to study minority groups in the US through research grants and scholarships.  I'd want to form a think tank to study different ways to improve healthcare in America.  And I'd probably do a good deal of donating to the college theatre program Pedro came through.  So a family foundation makes more sense than just splitting the money up among various causes, since its whole purpose is to make the money grow and become more useful to other people.  Plus, it's a nice tax shelter.  

Or, what the hell, maybe I'd just run for Governor or something.  If there's one thing Brewster's Millions has taught us, it's how to waste the most money in the least amount of time.  

I LEARNED MORALS FROM RICHARD PRYOR MOVIES

[wombat]

Predictably, I'd use the money to try to save some endangered ecosystem full of excellent small mammals.  Probably in Central or South America where all the best animals live.

But I'm having a little trouble focussing on the details instead of thinking about what I'd do in the two years of debauchery first.

[Limmo]

I'd probably try to slowly establish a series of after-school centers for kids here in Southern California. Places where kids could go in the afternoon and take classes for free, or just hang out in a safe environment.  Start with one, see how that works, and then work from neighborhood to neighborhood.  

I'd also buy myself a blimp.

[CortJstr]

Have a giant laser constructed and burn the word FUCK into the moon just to prove it's not a "bad" word and won't hurt anybody.*

Or I'd build a giant super villain castle, following all the rules from the Evil Overlord list, and make it the coolest ass theme park EVER. For a small fee you and your friends take on personas and attempt to overthrow the dictator with all the usual movie scenes. You get thrown in the dungeon, offered money and power to defect to my forces, leaping away from an exploison. For an added fee add a staff member to your party to offer hints and suggestions.

Packages run from small half-day scenarios like foiling a general in a minor skirmish all the way up to vulgar displays of wealth which follow entire campaign story-lines allong the lines of Morrowind or Arcanum.



*Unless, of course, the laser weakens the moon's integrity and it cracks apart showering rocks onto the earth like in Cowboy Bebop.

[side_show]

If I'd alread done all of the self indulgent crap?  But I keep thinking of all the self indulgent crap.  I guess spending money, no matter what, is really self indulgent in some way.  Even charity has it's own rewards, really.  

But if I'd already fulfilled all my selgiraffe needs (which I really can't imagine being possible.  Really, I'm that selgiraffe.)?  I suppose I would then like to buy Canada and make David Suzuki our leader.  I don't pretend to be smart enough to fix the worlds problems, but I think Suzuki could do so much good.  It's be a fun experiment.

[jough]

Predictably, I'd use the money to try to save some endangered ecosystem full of excellent small mammals.  Probably in Central or South America where all the best animals live.

That's weird - because I was just thinking of the opposite.

I'd use the money to have Endangered Species dinners like in "The Freshman."  It'd be neat to eat the last of a number of species.

Then I'd buy up lots of rainforest land and have it paved-over and huge Jetsons high-rise apartments built.

[Limmo]

If I'd alread done all of the self indulgent crap?  But I keep thinking of all the self indulgent crap.

That's the problem with these lottery fantasies, isn't it?  The "two years" part is the part my mind keeps going back to.  

Yes, it's interesting to think about what I would do for others.  But not as interesting as the house in Brentwood...and the weekend house on the beach in Malibu, and the summer house on Cape Cod, and the condo overlooking Central Park, and the jet on standby to take me to those places, and the long weekends in France and London, and the trips to Vegas for high-stakes table games and guitar shopping, and the personal trainers and yoga teachers, and the contributions to politicians and lobbyists on both sides of the aisle for favors and influence, and the parties upstairs in the dark room at Sushi On Sunset with piles of drugs and ingenues from WB shows....

So, sure there'd be some charity stuff.  But there'd also be a blimp.  With the word JIM! painted on the side in huge purple letters.  Shag carpeting and overstuffed sofas inside.  And a lobster tank.  And various sous chefs from famous restaurants taking turns in the kitchen.  And bowls of French quaaludes and condoms.  Partying with Jude Law and T. Coraghessan Boyle and the Olsen twins on the way to Maui, where the staff awaits the arrival of the limos carrying the mainlanders to their long weekend of freak-getting-on.

I LEARNED MORALS FROM ROBIN LEACH

[PinkStainlessTail]

I'd build libraries. Or maybe give a bigger endowment to existing ones (particularly crappy small town libraries).

And I'd also get a bunch of private tutors to teach me various languages.

Once all the debauchery is done, I'm basically a very boring person.

[jay-ell]

I'd use the money to have Endangered Species dinners like in "The Freshman." It'd be neat to eat the last of a number of species.

I knew it!  You are Montgomery Burns!

[jough]

The little animals - They're so wretchedly adorable.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I would buy a major league baseball team.  If the team needed a new stadium, I'd build it with my own money, like they did in San Francisco.  I'd promote the game to people of all races, genders, and incomes.  I'd make sure there were always $5 tickets out in the bleachers, and $10 tickets in the upper deck.  I'd keep food and drink prices reasonable.  I would also charge a shitload for luxury boxes.

[side_show]

I would buy a major league baseball team.  If the team needed a new stadium, I'd build it with my own money, like they did in San Francisco.  I'd promote the game to people of all races, genders, and incomes.  I'd make sure there were always $5 tickets out in the bleachers, and $10 tickets in the upper deck.  I'd keep food and drink prices reasonable.  I would also charge a shitload for luxury boxes.

The only way you'd ever get me to a ball game is with free booze.  Would there be free booze?