fuck the south

[sailor]

from www.fuckthesouth.com --which has links included in the text below.



Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fuck*ng Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fuck*ng founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fuck*ng sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fuck*ng blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fuck*ng monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fuck*ng Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fuck*ng stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fuck*ng blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fuck*ng Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fuck*ng arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fuck*ng cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fuck*ng arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fuck*ng bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fuck*ng Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fuck*ng swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fuck*ng orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fuck*ng dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fuck*ng our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fuck*ng stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fuck*ng minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fuck*ng Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fuck*ng Massachusetts, the fuck*ng center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fuck*ng nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fuck*ng blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fuck*ng guess? 10 of the top 10 are fuck*ng red-ass we're-so-fuck*ng-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fuck*ng part.

But two guys making out is going to fuck*ng ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fuck*ng get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fuck*ng towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fuck*ng Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fuck*ng Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fuck*ng over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fuck*ng convention in New York next time. Fuck off.



contact

[slink]

Somewhat related:

Adam Felber's concession speech.
I thought it was rather fine.

[CortJstr]

I just watched a whole Good Eats about them I still don't understand the concept of "grits"

[AugustWest]

As a lifelong southerner, please allow me to say, "Fuck you too!"  Stereotype much?  Yes, there are red states where a majority of people voted for Bush.  However, millions of us red-staters voted the other way.  Millions of blue-staters voted red.  

I appreciate your frustration with the people who think the way you've described.  I have to live with them.  Is everyone where you live perfectly enlightened?  Have they no annoying faults?

Prejudice sucks.

[AlohaDawg]

Would you shut your blueblooded piehole if there were a flat income tax? Your state doesn't pay taxes, dumbass, your people do and they pay Federal income taxes at the exact same rate as those in the south do. And they would likely pay more if/when one of their home-grown tax and spend liberals got elected. You are basically complaining because you live in an overpopulated area. Cry me a river. I heard Geraldine Ferraro fumble her way through this argument yesterday and even she doesn't seem to believe it.

This is a nation that requires the kind of diversity you are complaining about to survive - economic and political diversity are just as important as racial and ethnic diversity.

This kind of divisive talk pisses me off to no end. What part of New York State is going to secede? The Huge amount of Red counties From Buffalo across upstate? Or the just blue areas around the cities?

Most of the country is More Red than Blue, but it's definitely not a case of any state being one or the other. Even California is as red as blue. Scroll down for other interesting maps.

[Nabubrush]

For what it's worth, it's just cut-and-pasted from another site. Perhaps it was posted here as an amusement? And I only say this to try to stave off the harshness, when the poster did not come up with those inflammatory words him/herself.

[AlohaDawg]

Thanks Nabu -

I didn't mean to direct my response back to Sailor directly (I doubt his pie-hole is blue-blooded) but, indeed, please read my response as directed to the original author...

[sailor]

For what it's worth, it's just cut-and-pasted from another site. Perhaps it was posted here as an amusement? And I only say this to try to stave off the harshness, when the poster did not come up with those inflammatory words him/herself.

yep. didn't write. posted for amusement and not for punishment

[Nabubrush]

I got your back, sailor.

Hey, an unintentional double-entendre!

[Pedro Picasso]

You don't have to yell 'fuck the south'.  The snowbirds are already doing it.  Fuck the snowbirds.

[slink]

To quote Lazlow:

"No matter what happens on election day, the country will be fine.  It really can’t be a positive thing to have 50% of the country ready to kill the other 50%.  The last time that happened was for something really important like a football game or the Emancipation Proclamation.  So go vote, drink a beer, don’t let the TV scarevision machine get you whipped into a frenzy.  Better yet, turn it off."

OK, so it was pre result, but it does stand.

[jough]

I really like grits, but then again I put a little fat-free cheese singles into them, along with a few shots of tabasco sauce.

[Limmo]

Grits are the most useless breakfast food ever.  

And you can keep the okra too. Not that it's a breakfast food, I'm just saying.

[AlohaDawg]

I think Okra is nasty too, but you can't make a decent gumbo without it.

Grits are really not a whole lot different from cream of wheat. Or even Polenta. In fact, I think we had a whole thread about grits sometime back...

[CortJstr]

Grits are really not a whole lot different from cream of wheat. Or even Polenta. In fact, I think we had a whole thread about grits sometime back...

Indeed. Actually the Good Eats was all about how grits are the same as polenta. Personally I think all 3 are gross.