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The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board  |  Trivial Pursuits  |  Sports & Leisure (Moderators: CortJstr, wombat)  |  Topic: Slink, is this your gran? 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Poll
Question: How do you like your herbal meds?  (Voting closed: January 27, 2005, 12:10:44 AM)
Rasta Style (big fatties) - 2 (28.6%)
Tommy Chong Style (big ol' bong hits) - 5 (71.4%)
Granny Style (Alice B Toklas' cookbook) - 0 (0%)
Total Voters: 7

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Author Topic: Slink, is this your gran?  (Read 1086 times)
AlohaDawg
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« on: January 27, 2005, 12:10:44 AM »

From the UK Mirror Online

GRANNY'S HOT POT

Jan 26 2005

Prison threat for drug cook, 66,
By Jeremy Armstrong
 

A GREY-HAIRED gran is facing jail after cooking up recipes laced with CANNABIS.

Patricia Tabram, 66, began using the illicit drug in her country kitchen as a "natural remedy" to ease a painful back injury after a car crash.
Soon she was throwing dinner parties for elderly friends who chipped in £150 a time for the secret ingredient in her unique "hot pots".
But local police were quickly on the scent of her mind- blowing soups, curries and chocolate cake.
They twice raided her home in a picturesque hamlet.
And Patricia finally ended up in court - in her best cardie and large, round specs - accused of possessing the drug with intent to supply.
Despite admitting the charge, the ex-restaurant boss remained defiant yesterday after being released on bail.
She said: "I believe cannabis should be made legal for medical reasons - it's a natural herb. It has given me pain relief, as it has for my other friends who are suffering from MS and other conditions.

"If they send me to jail, I can finish writing my book, Grandma Eats Cannabis - about the merits of medicinal herbal cannabis.
"I want people to know NHS medicines are poisoning them instead of treating their illness." Patricia escaped with a caution the first time she was busted last May at her home in Humshaugh, near Hexham, Northumberland.

She guided five officers to the attic, where they found 31, 10in-high seedlings and self-seal bags used to supply the drug to unnamed friends.
"They thought it was in a hut outside," she recalled, "But I told them it wasn't.
"They took my diaries, my nail scissors which I used to cut up the buds, and my pamphlets and books which I used for research."

She pleaded guilty last December at Newcastle crown court to possessing the drug with intent to supply.

Widow Patricia told officers her friends had clubbed together to buy it, purely for medical reasons.
On the last raid, police found 242 grams (8.5oz) of the stronger skunk variety of the drug, worth around £850.

She revealed she bought it from contacts through various cafes. One dealer told her: "You look like a woman I can trust."
Patricia, who will be sentenced in March, said: "I don't believe cannabis is a drug like heroin and cocaine. It only gives you a high for about 30 minutes.

"My cannabis chocolate cake covers the pain for five hours or more, which is why my friends use it. I don't think it does any harm."
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andalucia
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2005, 12:32:52 AM »

I love the capitalization in the first line:  CANNABIS!!!
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St_Zartan
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« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2005, 12:48:09 AM »

Quote from: "andalucia"
I love the capitalization in the first line:  CANNABIS!!!


Another aspect of sensational British journalism I enjoy is somewhat related: the use of randomly selected, capitalized words to divide paragraphs / parts of the story. And it's always hella lurid and only vaguely in context -

gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text
TEENAGE
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AMPHETAMINE
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STOCKINGS
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Bozack
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« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2005, 02:24:14 AM »

Quote from: "New, Improved St_Zartan"

gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text gray text
ILLEGAL
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GHOST
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BIKES
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slink
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« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2005, 07:22:25 AM »

The Mirror terrifies me. Almost literally.
And no, alas my grandmother never was much of a smoker. Well, cigarettes yes... Now had it been the story of a guy getting thrown out of an asylum for threatening to spike the water supply with LSD, or having a rifle, or being arrested for supplying half of Devon, then yeah, that might have been a semi-relative of mine. But that was long ago...
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FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

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