March 1, 2005: Ray Sets Off The Clapper

[AlohaDawg]

The worst nutting of my life, I was about 27. Sure I've been kicked, kneed and headbutted, treed and bicycle-posted in the yarbles plenty of times. This was the worst, though.

There was a place on the West Side of Cleveland we used to go to with our softball team for batting cages. I was the token breeder in a gay league on the West Side since at the time, I was working in the STD/HIV program and I knew a lot of gay guys back then. Anyhow, they also had this thing called a fielding cage. You put the money in and go in the cage and random red-hot grounders and one-hoppers come shooting out of the machine at you. There were targets you could try to throw to on the edges of the cage. You can guess what happens next. A red hot one-hopper hits the ground right between my feet and bounces straight up. A MISSILE to both nuts. I honestly thought I was going to throw a blood clot to my brain die right then.

There's this weird silence between when the ball hits and when the alarms in your nuts go off, like your head is inside of a conch shell the size of a phone booth. Then there's this whitehot light that sears through the brain.
Then the silent, internal scream as your knees give out and you fall with your hands cupping the remains of your shattered organs. I actually looked in my #####es for blood. I rolled around for about 5 minutes trying to dodge the rest of the redhot grounders. It probably looked pretty funny. It wasn't. There were many offers for massages from my teammates. I gutted it out, though.

Anyhow, I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with Rebecca because I actually was worried that that injury destroyed the boys.  That was my last serious nutting, since then I've received the pediatric nutting several times.

[V-Adore]

Anyhow, I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with Rebecca because I actually was worried that that injury destroyed the boys.  That was my last serious nutting, since then I've received the pediatric nutting several times.

I am moderately surprised at how many of the guys who suffered severe nardo injuries have since managed to beget children, yes. Guess y'all just have incredible powers of fertility above and beyond the ken of mortal (wo)man.

Other fascinating byproduct of this thread: the remarkable number of synonyms for "getting hit in the nuts" at play here. "Nutting" is an entirely new one on me.

[pmcd9]

Other fascinating byproduct of this thread: the remarkable number of synonyms for "getting hit in the nuts" at play here. "Nutting" is an entirely new one on me.

I think that one is original.  Did we invent a new word in this thread?

~Paul

[Ben-San]

Anyhow, I was actually surprised when we got pregnant with Rebecca because I actually was worried that that injury destroyed the boys.  That was my last serious nutting, since then I've received the pediatric nutting several times.

I am moderately surprised at how many of the guys who suffered severe nardo injuries have since managed to beget children, yes. Guess y'all just have incredible powers of fertility above and beyond the ken of mortal (wo)man.

The pain sensitivity on cojones is high enough that an injury that is not groin-fatal will definitely feel like it should be. This is so that the person is terrified out of risking injuries that are actually groin-fatal. It's a twisted defense mechanism based on Pavlovian conditioning over the course of generations: Reproduction = Happy, Risking Loss Of Reproductive Function = Oh God I Will Never Do Anything Shaped Like That Again.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Other fascinating byproduct of this thread: the remarkable number of synonyms for "getting hit in the nuts" at play here. "Nutting" is an entirely new one on me.

I think that one is original.  Did we invent a new word in this thread?

~Paul

Good enough. Please close the thread, my stones are aching just reading this thread.

[Golfhaus]

Other fascinating byproduct of this thread: the remarkable number of synonyms for "getting hit in the nuts" at play here. "Nutting" is an entirely new one on me.

I think that one is original.  Did we invent a new word in this thread?

~Paul

I had always heard "nutting" used in the sense of ejaculation, typically as the result of a handjob - either self-inflicted or given by someone else.

It is a reflection of our society that we have so many ways to refer to getting bean-balled. Like the Eskimo and their 243 words for "snow" or whatever. I call once again on everyone... put your boots, knees, sticks and whatnot down. Future generations are counting on us.

[Bozack]

There's one term I know, stolen from MST3K- "right in the buffalo shot," or "getting the buffalo shot."