4/28/05 - You're the real thing, asshole!

[Golfhaus]

Wow... I feel so... deprived.

Of course, I'd also been to Sonic about ten times before I realized you're supposed to tip the carhops, so...

[CortJstr]

We don't have any Sonics around here, even though they show ad on Philly TV constantly.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR MONEY IN A MARKET IN WHICH YOU DO NOT COMPETE, ENEMA BAGS!

Ditto for DC. See also, Checkers (although I heard there's one of those somewhere near College Park)

[Null]

A "Fleshlight" huh?  I'm a bit afraid to Google that.   And I probably should have rendered Philippe's description into 3dsMax to get a better picture.  Instead, I read it quickly and assumed badly.  I won't do that again!

Also, if I have questions or am confused, I will check this forum for answers and clarity.

Thanks everyone!

[Bobby Isosceles]

We don't have any Sonics around here, even though they show ad on Philly TV constantly.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR MONEY IN A MARKET IN WHICH YOU DO NOT COMPETE, ENEMA BAGS!

Ditto for DC. See also, Checkers (although I heard there's one of those somewhere near College Park)

There's a Checkers' in Rockville at Gaither and Shady Grove.

[arlucasinc]

We don't have any Sonics around here, even though they show ad on Philly TV constantly.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR MONEY IN A MARKET IN WHICH YOU DO NOT COMPETE, ENEMA BAGS!

We don't have Sonics or Sonic commercials here in Pittsburgh. I guess the closest thing we'd have would be... Steak N' Shake? But there are no carhops there whatsoever, neither the skating or perambulatory variety.

[miles]

A "Fleshlight" huh?  I'm a bit afraid to Google that.

I did, and, to paraphrase V, hitched the TMI train to San Francisco (well, someone else's train).  It was quite an experience.

[miles]

we know that sentient footwear is justifiable within achewood.  is it not feasible that the most diabolic of all would be used by Sonic CarHops?

Does this actually happen? I mean, I've read that Sonics are full of rollerskating carhops, but EVERY single carhop at EVERY single Sonic I've gone to in this area just walk.

yes.

I think the rollerskaters get a better wage, but they aren't required to rollerskate.  Or so I've heard.

And you're supposed to tip them?  Actually, I think I knew that.  But you know what I hate?  Fast food workers (the ones that stand behind the counters) that expect tips.  Like when the tip line is on the receipt when you pay with your credit card, and if you don't want to tip you have to write a big fat zero and feel like a total dick, or else be afraid they will add it in.  When I worked at Subway in high school, we weren't allowed to even have a tip cup.  Which was fine, it's not like we did anything to deserve a tip.

[St_Zartan]

But you know what I hate?  Fast food workers (the ones that stand behind the counters) that expect tips.  Like when the tip line is on the receipt when you pay with your credit card, and if you don't want to tip you have to write a big fat zero and feel like a total dick, or else be afraid they will add it in.

I have to preface this by saying: when it's called for, I am motherfuckin' Captain Tipping, simply because (a) the people have increased my enjoyment of a situation (b) I know they make, pre-tips, a wage so skint it ought to be fuck*ng illegal, and (c) I am amazed, really amazed, that the people do so for forty-plus hours a week whereas I could do it for, perhaps, three tops before putting a bread knife right through someone's selgiraffe, flapping hand.

But yeah, I do feel uncomfortable and irritated when I'm prompted to tip in an unorthodox situation. Example: I call the Chinese take-out joint, place an order, and go and pick it up myself. The beige ballcap-wearing, jaw-jutting fratty drones behind the register (and ain't that some cognitive dissonance - the people handing over my ethnic cuisine are probably named Thad and Trey) actually have the audacity to have placed a fuck*ng tip jar there, all decorated all sincere-like (most likely by some artsy chick they met over a Solo cup full of Milwaukee's Best in exchange for like thirty minutes of attention) with smile-faces and nudgy-nudgy doodled arrows. I've got half a mind to say, look, dipshit, anyone who comes in here is picking up their own damn food, which basically makes you like any other retail jockey. I've worked more hours in retail than you've spent paying attention in English class, you callow little shit, and I never once expected nor received a tip.

Pat Reynolds? Fuckin' amateur.

[AugustWest]

Zart, you get a gold star.

[miles]

Zart, you get a gold star.

Two, and a face.

I should have mentioned that I tip well, too, especially considering that I make shit an hour.  Don't want anyone thinking I'm a stingy bastard or anything.  Jough, your's is coming.  Just you wait.

I currently work retail, and once, I did get tipped.  Some kid who I had been helping told me to keep the change which amounted to, oh, nine cents.  It was a sweet gesture (he was like ten or eleven) but of course I turned it down.  And I bust my ass much harder than the kids at Carl's Jr. who will maybe meet me halfway to give me my tray.  After I get my own drink and napkins.

[Carlos del Vaca]

congratulations.  the humor died when the analysis came to town.  it was shot in front of the saloon and EVERYBODY saw.  even the babies.

Did some of humor's guts get on the mayor?

No! Not the major! :shock:

dammit, that's MY line