"It was a dark and stormy night"

[Choop]

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual ...contest which asks for the worst possible opening sentence to a novel.

It's spawned an unrelated offshoot, the Lyttle Lytton Contest, which asks submitters to limit themselves to 25 words. On a whim earlier this year, I sent in a sentence. I won. I guess this is something to be proud of?

By the way, he actually missed a comma between the last two words.

edited to add some following potential entries for next year's lyttle lytton:
--
Hawkman bided ferociously, chewing his cuticle (right pinky) until a largish speck of skin peeled back -- you know the feeling, right? -- and murmured in pain.
--
What goes on in D'Shawn Guttmanssdottir's eyeglasses case?
--
"Oi, ye allways does thaht, Bernie," shouted his stout, hairy, damnit-won't-you-leave-me-alone, beloved Third Concubine.
--
When I approached my editor (also a college ex-girlfriend, don't you know, and kind of lousy in the sack) about this book, she was ambivalent.

Y'all got any?

[V-Adore]

You're the one who wrote the surfing sentence? You rock my small, self-centered universe.

Anyway, I've been thinking about this one, and I think I have some strong candidates. I'm particularly interested in the Big Lytton, since an entire paragraph really gives you room to work. Right now I have the ending sentence to my paragraph, and the rest is slowly coming along.

[mudokon]

A friend of mine sent in a sentence that I wrote without giving me credit (not that I mind, since he does it all the time):

Get ready to take a virtual tour of sydney australia through the backyards of a kangaroo who will punch you in the head fifty times!

It was one of a number of quotes that he just took from our casual conversations and submitted to the contest. That was probably one of the poorer ones, but whatever.