Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica

[Limmo]

I found myself on the sofa too tired to move or change the channel  ( my seven-month-old daughter started Labor Day weekend with four teeth and ended it with eight ) and found myself watching something on MTV called Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.

       It concerns the foibles of a newly married couple, both of whom are minor-league teen pop stars.  Nick was one of the Meaty Cheesy Boys, I think, and reminds me of a young Chris Isaak, minus the intelligence and charm.  Jessica is the RC Cola of  slutty-yet-virginal blonde singers.

       The episode I caught lays bare Jessica's concerns for their marriage.  Specifically, the audition process for Nick's upcoming USO show at a local outlet mall,which will select four foxy young whores to grind their privates against her husband.  He seems to be showing a little too much enthusiasm for the process, bringing his little brother along and barely acknowledging his wife.  Nick's team of handlers explain away the whole thing, but Jessica's not having it.

      Jessica then does what any of us would do: she spends $763 on two pairs of lingerie to get her husband's attention, then experiences buyer's remorse.  She calls Nick to get some advice, but he's too busy dining with the four foxy whores he's selected to be of much help.  

      I could go on at length about this - oh, shit, I already have - but has anyone else here seen this show?  More to the point, will any of you admit it if you have?

      I know this is a pre-packaged MTV product edited to make the protagonists look like complete idiots, but there was a certain through-the-looking-glass quality to this show that I found utterly engrossing.  At first, Jessica's concerns seem ridiculous, until you realize that she should be - Nick is not smart enough to conceal his enthusiasm for auditioning the whores.  And then the episode ends with scenes from Jessica's new video - where she writhes around half-dressed with a hot guy on a bed.  And the bed is on the beach.

      Next week, they're both going camping.  I can't wait.


      Good Christ, I need to get some sleep.

[slink]

More to the point, will any of you admit it if you have?

Well, not living in the US no and no!
I really despise reality TV. I mean, at least this is a step higher than most, in that the people on camera, are used to being on camera, and thus have at least some charisma. What really pisses me off is that for some reason, what  'we want' on TV, is a bunch of mindless fools, with no charisma, prancing around, either in terminally dull situations or being hurt for our amusement. And it's boring as hell, and kind of makes me feel ill it's so... I don't know what it is, or what it's supposed to be!
I really hope this bubble of reality TV bursts. What do you guys have, like 2 new reality shows a week in the States? I know you've got loads of channels, but even so!
It's so depraved!

[AlohaDawg]

It's a real problem. I think there is something to be said for reality but we get none of it from the reality shows. I think it's weird and confusing that we seek (generally) to remove ourselves from reality (that is the nature of entertainment, right) by watching someone else's reality.

I partially blame Jerry Springer, who, if not created the concept of faux reality (I mean, really, how many midget white supremacists married to 400 lb hillbillies can there be in the world), at least made it an art form.  MOST of us didn't take him seriously.

Then the TV writers went on strike a few years back. In the absence of writers, reality shows became all-too-viable. And the obviously discerning American TV watching public ate it up. It's great for the networks: no big salary actors and no writers. Offer a prize and hold auditions - no brainer.

No brainer. This is a nation of no brainers. No brainers who vote.

God help us.


:::edited to note that I think CortJstr is correct in his post below - not a real writers strike but an amazingly effective threat:::

[CortJstr]

Then the TV writers went on strike a few years back. In the absence of writers, reality shows became all-too-viable. And the obviously discerning American TV watching public ate it up. It's great for the networks: no big salary actors and no writers. Offer a prize and hold auditions - no brainer.

I'm mildly sure it was just a threatened strike. So the suits threw together enough reality shows, leftover mid-season replacements, sports, and wrestling to show that they could program a whole season without writers. I don't know if this leverage actually helped avert the strike or not, but it did condemn us to a lot of crappy tv.

Which reminds me, what's the deal with this Joe Schoe thing they have now?

[Limmo]

OK, so at least I'm not alone:
http://www.salon.com/ent/tv/review/2003/09/09/newlyweds/index.html