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@achewood There’s no Day for apologizing to our parents for all the stupid shit we put them through. Perhaps because we never finish before they die.
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The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board  |  Achewood  |  Achewood (Moderator: AugustWest)  |  Topic: AcheMerch: Fifth-Anniversary T-Shirt 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: AcheMerch: Fifth-Anniversary T-Shirt  (Read 4079 times)
linnea
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« Reply #15 on: October 10, 2006, 05:30:10 AM »
Whoa!! They hired a full time warehouse man. I will get my shirt near the end of the month. Congratulations, the Onstads! It looks like their operation just upped its ante. Awesome.


Quote from: chris
Dear Achewood Fifth Anniversary Shopper,

Hello and thank you! You're receiving this email because you placed an order during Achewood's 5th Anniversary Free T-shirt Promotion. Response to the promotion was phenomenal -- so phenomenal, in fact, that we had to do something drastic (and, in its own way, phenomenal). 

That's right. We hired a human man to take over our warehouse operations. He is a good man, and thorough. He is much better than I ever was at this stuff. He is a full-time human man, BTW. 

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know it might take an extra few days for your order to arrive, while we get the new warehouse up to speed. Hundreds of orders are leaving our facilities every day this week. Our laser printer is spitting out so many packing lists, it's literally unpleasant to sit near (I sit near it during my writing hours, unfortunately, and can vouch for this).   

We will contact you if any information was missing from your order, and regarding any backordered items. You will receive an email when your package ships. 

Thank you for supporting Achewood, and thank you for making the fifth year the most interesting yet. Did you know that I spent half an hour crawling around under my house and deck while running ethernet cable to our warehouse this morning?   

Chris Onstad

PS: Your free shirt will ship at the end of October. Click here to see the original offer page for details. 
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robot_god
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Oh my gosh, dude.


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« Reply #16 on: October 10, 2006, 06:10:06 AM »
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He is a good man, and thorough.

Heh.
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ACHIEVE
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« Reply #17 on: October 10, 2006, 07:18:05 AM »
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We hired a human man to take over our warehouse operations. He is a good man, and thorough. He is much better than I ever was at this stuff. He is a full-time human man, BTW.

For some reason, I imagine a man naked but for slightly stretched out barn door briefs, significantly hairy, doing human things like belching, while he packs up orders.  Being a full-time human man takes work - I imagine part of the quality controle might include naturally shed body hairs, or even hairs from... down there... being intentionally sprinkled on to the orders, to assure the buyer a real human man was involved in the shipping of said items.  Sort of a step up from "this item inspected by #5."
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« Reply #18 on: October 10, 2006, 08:43:29 AM »
It's a good thing he specified human because 'a good man and thorough' immediately made me think of Nice Pete. The kind of guy who'd leave a 'Suprise' in your package and remember your address because you didn't write back saying how much you appreciated this.
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« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2006, 01:25:29 PM »
Doc, "a good man, and thorough" is totally a Lebowski line. 

Do we have to pull your hipster credentials?  Are you not hip with the kids?  Not down with OPP?
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Doc
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« Reply #20 on: October 10, 2006, 01:33:16 PM »
You've found my secret shame big J, I have never seen the Big Lebowski.
Never, not even once.

I hear it's good, I guess?
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jough
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« Reply #21 on: October 10, 2006, 01:46:00 PM »
Oh for the love of all that is good and holy!

Doc, go buy a copy of The Big Lebowski, watch it, and then come back to the internet a new man.

You're useless to us otherwise.
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AugustWest
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« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2006, 02:00:26 PM »
A full-time human man, eh?  Like they were considering hiring a lycanthrope of some kind?
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wombat
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« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2006, 02:07:42 PM »
Wow, a full time employee.  Our little boy is all grown up.
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« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2006, 04:01:54 PM »
Quote from: jough on October 10, 2006, 01:46:00 PM
Oh for the love of all that is good and holy!

Doc, go buy a copy of The Big Lebowski, watch it, and then come back to the internet a new man.

You're useless to us otherwise.

Yeah, what the hell is wrong with you?  You can even get it through
Columbia House for god sakes. 
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« Reply #25 on: October 10, 2006, 04:04:42 PM »
Quote from: AugustWest on October 10, 2006, 02:00:26 PM
A full-time human man, eh?  Like they were considering hiring a lycanthrope of some kind?

I presume the alternative would have been one of the cats in a husk, or possibly Lie Bot. (An automaton that lies? That's definitely part-time human.)
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theinevitable
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« Reply #26 on: October 10, 2006, 07:31:52 PM »
yeah, um, I have never seen The Big Lebowski.
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Beats me, man. Beats me why most dudes suck. Sure as hell ain't my scene.

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Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!


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« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2006, 08:15:35 PM »
Quote from: theinevitable on October 10, 2006, 07:31:52 PM
yeah, um, I have never seen The Big Lebowski.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
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Drygioni
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« Reply #28 on: October 10, 2006, 08:17:12 PM »
http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,2577.msg57137.html#msg57137

I really did deserve that from 'Dawg, who we don't see enough of these days. No activity for more than a week. Hope all is well, mate.

Anyway, after discovering where that quote was from, I ended up watching the Big Lebowski. It is good!
« Last Edit: October 10, 2006, 08:32:25 PM by JudyIsADickSlap » Logged
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KeithHernandez
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« Reply #29 on: October 10, 2006, 10:54:46 PM »
Smokey, this is not Nam, this is bowling. There are rules.


Seriously, The Big Lebowski could be the greatest movie ever released.  Don't even bother with renting, just buy it.
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