15 things I have learned

[linnea]

I was reading some bullshit email today that is referenced on Snopes yet people still forward them. I was thinking about all the things I have learned. Originally I was going to do "28 things I have learned by age 28" but I only have time to do 15.


1.      In high school, people loved gossip. That never changes. At church, at the workplace...even when you're finally a grownup at age 55, people will still be talking s#*t.

2.       Exercise every day, even if it's just a walk.

3.       Change your passwords periodically. And pick good ones, not like "boris yahoo".

4.       Music has healing and restorative properties.

5.       The true measure of a person's niceness is most readily apparent at 3AM on a stressful ambulance call. Their true worth can also be seen in how they treat waiters, clerks, and children when they're rushed, stressed, or busy.

6.       When you're on your deathbed, things that are things won't matter (like clothes, the size of your bum, your degrees, your house, your cars, and your materialist trappings won't matter). The people that you love will be the only thing that matters. Live your entire life so that you nurture those relationships.

7.    Don't ever burn bridges unless you enjoy shooting yourself in the foot, or being up shit creek without a paddle.

8.    Live to LIVE. i.e., don't live for food, your job, or to work.

9.    Even when you're horribly sick, few things comfort like a cup of hot tea and some toast. Unless you have a hangover, in which case it's your own damn fault, so get hydrated and get to work you pansy.

10.    Rest assured that you will be judged – by idiots for superficial shit like your appearance, clothes, vehicle, house, friends, etc. Disregard those people. Smart or shrewd people will judge you for non-superficial things like your words, deeds, and tone of voice. Those are the things that really matter. You will ultimately have to answer to God/the woman upstairs. So just be the best version of yourself. Don't "strive", just fuck*ng do it.

11.    Treat others with kindness and respect. If they are a total shit excuse for a human being, sarcasm is okay.

12.    No matter how busy and tired you are, brush and floss before bed. Don't forget to wash your face and use eye cream nightly even if you're under 25 cuz your face will majorly thank you later.

13.    Save money from every paycheck even if you're 15. Put it in a separate savings account and periodically shove some of it into an investment fund, like a CD or mutual fund. Don't put it off, and don't spend it. You will need this when you're my age and want to buy a house, only to discover that you've pissed all your money away on CDs, perfume, and going to restaurants.

14.    Don't stress if he or she doesn't call. Wait until the right one shows up in your life.

15.    For the love of God, do some goddamned research before you hit the forward button on the email.

[wombat]

That's a great list.  I would only add: As well as changing your passwords, back up your files.  And try some chocolate with the hot tea and toast.

Also, one of the things that won't matter on your deathbed is where you went to college. In fact, it will stop mattering long before that, so don't have a nervous breakdown about it.

[Asherdan]

Nice list.

I think I'd add:

Go ahead and call it like you see it, just remember there's no reason to be a dick about it.

Assholes are Assholes, they may come in all different tints and shapes but you can't miss the smell.

Peeing on a fire only makes a bad smell. Get off your ass and grab a bucket.

Only dumbasses give a toss what you think unless you give a damn good reason why your opinion matters first.

If you're easily bored, well there's reasons for that. They all start with you.

You may expect civility. You must earn respect. You should return both.

[Teatime]

This is a fairly bitching list. With the passwords, I would stress the importance of keeping email or other significantly private passwords different from all others. It's all good and well to have "carebearstare" for all forums or games, as the worst that can happen is pretty insignificant, but Bad Shit can go down if your email is read. Don't make it easy.

And I'm not sure that #14 is correct, but I am young and kind of needy in terms of affection, so I am not a good arbiter.

I would also distill the essence of several to say: It is never wrong to be a Nice Dude to people you don't know. Frequently, it will do you good.

[linnea]

Yeah, it's awesome to see your lists, that's why I posted mine. Post more lists!

Teatime, I put in #14 because I have wasted years of my life worrying and fretting and hoping that my Current Love Interest would love me back. The relationship that I had to put the most effort into (the one with Crap Dude) didn't pan out for shit anyway. Maybe I had to cross those bridges to get to the place where I am now...but I'm going to stand tall and say, "Fuck it, I am going to chill back with my bad self and if someone comes into my life, then so be it." No more of this stupid hankering and pining. I'm done with it.

...of course this new resolve will probably be thrown the hell out the window as soon as a hot guy asks for my number.

[Teatime]

When encountering a new situation, and wondering whether or not to take a risk, don't weigh the chances of failure. Instead, imagine the worst that will reasonably happen if you do. If you can deal with this, take the risk, no matter how likely it is that nothing will come of it.

I am totally incapable of doing this, being pretty repressed and shy, but if you can pull it off, it's likely to make you wildly successful.

[Doc]

and seriously, just chill out man.

[theinevitable]

edit: damn, I am kind of depressed that I said that before. I am not a bad boyfriend, I swear. I think.

Things I have learned-- today!

-the answer to "why shouldn't I skip class occasionally? everyone else does it!" is "because then your professors might not believe you when you have a legitimate reason to stay home."
-while I personally like people to give me a reason if they screw up ("sorry I was late-- I knew I said I'd meet you at 9, but I lost track of time"), many people will take this as trying to avoid responsibility. There is not any way to explain yourself that some people won't understand in this way. This sucks, but, you know.
At the same time, WTF? "Why didn't you come to class yesterday?" "I'm sorry. I slept through my alarm." (several others answer same question) "That is not an excuse.Guys, come to class." Well... was I supposed to lie? I mean... if he asks me for a reason, how am I supposed to answer? I feel like failing to give a reason will be interpreted as "I just don't give a shit, sorry" instead of "I made a mistake".

Damn.

PPS: I know that the whole "knock on wood" or "asking for it" or whatever concept is bullshit. however, in the past few days I have learned not to say the following things, EVER:
"wow, it sucks that you're sick. I haven't been sick like that in a long time"
"huh, that's weird. I don't think I've been sick and thrown up in like... 2 years"
"wow! I'm impressed at how fast I got better. I guess it was just a 24-hour bug."

NEVER let a youth gang make fun of an older Chinese man on his way home at night. NEVER, EVER let them knock his hat off. I cried when I saw this.

[Teatime]

That is the saddest thing.

[side_show]

*1) There is no secret.*

2) Find that thing that you love more than love, and do it as much as you can.

3) When you see someone doing well, celebrate it.  When you are doing well, celebrate it.  When you or someone else has done bad, but had learned from it, celebrate it. 

4) Keep hydrated.

5) Seek good sex and good food as much as possible.  Don't rush either - allowing yourself pleasure is an important gift.

6) Tell people honest, silly things about yourself, especially in situations where power is in play.  For most people, this will bring out their human side too.  If a person won't rise or fall to your level, watch out.

7) You don't have anywhere near as much time as you think you do. 

Happiness is the most valuable commodity in life.  Don't buy into anyone else's standard of what your life should be.

9) Love is it - give it and accept it as if you've never been hurt.

10) Know where you've been, where you are, and where you're going.

11) Accept that there are many things you will never know, but continue to be a student until your brain turns to dust. 

12) Accept that there are many things you do know, and be a teacher.  Record the things you know in writting, in words spoken to share, in art, in code, in laboratory results, in the spaces you create, and put them out there so that you can teach even after you've gone.

13) Share your hurt, hear out other people's hurt.  Talk about solutions, look for hope.

14) Think about your role as a citizen of the world everyday - and take positive action wherever possible.

15) Laugh, even if you're the only one laughing.  If you find joy, hold on to it with both hands.


* number one is the most important advice I've ever gotten.  It was first presented to me in relation to art, and it's an important lesson.  Many people will present themselves to you as having some secret knowledge that they are either keeping from you for your own benefit, or will give to you if you earn it in some way.  But there is no secret.  The art is in the doing.  This is how I make my art as a director and writer, and it's how I live my life too.  Art and living are both processes based in action.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Sure Im only 21, but here is what ive learned.

1.) Stuff that is stuff DOES matter. When you are on your deathbed, money will decide in what condition you die, and how well your family lives.
2.) your degree DOES matter. Sure there are plenty of people who do well without a good college degree. These people are lucky and not the norm.  I know many people who are rich or poor because of where they went to college.
3.) Love is mostly a joke. The US has something like a 50% divorce rate. Dont fool yourself.

[Doc]

Things I have learned in the last two posts:

1) No one has told Smells the secret yet.

2) A-CAP is totally right and yet totally wrong.

[V-Adore]

Things I have learned in the last two posts:

1) There is no thread so good A-CAP will not find a way to crap on it.

[theinevitable]

1.) Stuff that is stuff DOES matter. When you are on your deathbed, money will decide in what condition you die, and how well your family lives.

well, assuming that your family is relying on inheritance for money. And assuming that "how well you live"="standard of living." Personally, my parents have informed my siblings and me that they are planning on leaving us (nearly) jack shit, money-wise. The concept is, you know, that we should actually earn our own money, and make our own ways. I am glad this is the case, because to be honest, I don't know how I'd deal with getting money from my parents dying to begin with.

The only thing that pisses me off about this is that they seem to be disposing of their funds in three ways:
-charity donations, which is great.
-visiting family, foreign countries, seeing the sights of the world. This is awesome, and I hope one day I can afford to do the same.
-buying random-ass shit that no one needs, that I never thought my reasonable and responsible parents would buy. I am refraining from going into details because, I mean, they're my parents. I guess saving up your money won't accomplish anything since you can't take it with you... but some of this shit is just a waste.

I guess this can be summed up in:
--no matter what you start out with or are given in life, the quality of your Life comes from what you do with the stuff beneath your chest and between your ears. We're just a bunch of lucky atoms that have come together to make people, and the only natural "purpose" of our lives is to have babies, and then die. However, humans have a tendency to make their own plans. Make your life into what you want it to be. Make your own purpose.
(not to say I'm doing this, but... I'm working on it.)
(I don't mean this to be some sort of weird rant, I (think) I had a point. I hope this will be taken in the spirit of the thread.)

[linnea]

Things I have learned in the last two posts:

1) There is no thread so good A-CAP will not find a way to crap on it.

Get the hell off my lawn, A-CAP.