TOUAMBie Award "Best Thread"

[pmcd9]

Before I the presenter for the Best Thread award I would like to recognize a thread that has been the main meeting place for TOUAMB.  I'd like to bestow this lifetime achievement award to the "Today I'm Gonna..." thread.  Let's give it up for the Today I'm Gonna thread.  Take a bow.

The Best Thread award goes to the thread that best embodies why we keep coming back to this little corner of the internet.  How do you decide what makes a memorable thread.  I don't know that's for sure.  Here to sort it all out for us and tell us what you decided is the spider in a three piece suit, the Arachno Capitalist himself A-Cap!

[Arachno-capitalist]

There have been many threads this year. Some sucked royally, most were okay, but here we have the cream of the crop. WHO WILL WIN!? WILL IT BE...

Hey Bobby, Have You Seen This One? - http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,4826.0.html
Topic started by: Pmcd9
"Have you seen this before? It's bacon! From a duck! Isn't that WACKY?"-Old Woman Isosceles

Robert The Rhombus is our local bacon fanatic and Pmcd9 just wanted to make s sure he was up to date on the latest internet bacon news, which included a photoset of him eating ancient bacon bits. Bacon chocolate, bacon bits, bacon suitcases, bacon towels, bacon t-shirts, bacon squeeze bottles, and a bacon AK-47 were among the featured items that were old hat to Dodecahedron Dan. Baco De Mayo lives forever in our memories.

Raise your hand if you are uncircumcised - http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,4877.0.html
Topic started by ***** God
"I read the newspaper every day, Ash, and everyday the human race gets closer to wiping itself out in an argument over whether the Easter Bunny shits green eggs striped red or red eggs striped green." - LFM

I did not participate in this thread. A great many of us decided to talk about the shape of our dongs on an internet message board about a cartoon. ***** God demanded peen talk and he got it. Discussions on the separation of church and state, dick hygene, presidents, war, Jews, concluded with dude on dude pole sucking. A fine and fitting example of the shit that goes on in this place Every. Single. Day.

Maki - http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5207.0.html
Topic started by sideshow
"Also, does a catgiraffe still have a barbed cock?  (That is horrifying on so many levels.)" - Side Show

A mysterious new filter came into our lives over a discussion of sushi. This was one of our most coherent on-topic threads yet and managed to included a picture of cute lady and a really skinny dude in a giraffe costume. Our desire to hump that new filter into oblivion fueled a discussion on giraffe and the tasty combinations of giraffe wrapped in rice.
Education: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auchenoglanis_occidentalis

Wombat Watches the Super Bowl - http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,4828.0.html
Topic started by Pmcd9
"After recounting what I knew (lots of breaks, 'plays', the rules, two separate teams, the overriding feeling this is just gay rugby) and our previous experience trying to watch baseball, we gave it a miss." - Judy

Futbol vs. Football and nothing to do with wombat. Judy got loaded and told us how much soccer rules and demonstrated his lack of respect for football and Bruce Springsteen. "I am drunk because I was out clubbing all night and I'd left my laptop on and decided to post something" Yeah, well, join the club, amirite? Also the Acid Casuals are awesome.


Sports & Leisure - a modest proposal - http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5150.0.html
Topic started by alreadyinuse
"

Y
 O
  U

    S
     U
      C
       K

"
-Choop

A new member joined our family this year. His name was Alreadyinuse and he had a few "ideas" about things. His  tornado of bullshit blew through here in a way  that brought us together as a community. Talks about cat dong and futbol gave way to a spontaneously organized carpet bomb of cute pug pictures. There was even some sideboob action among the pugs in costumes. Let us take this time to collectively flip off shithead and remember what a good thing we have going here.






************ And The Winner Is: Raise your hand if you are uncircumcised *************

[pmcd9]

Thank you A-Cap.  To see the results of this vote go here.

[AugustWest]

Let us take this time to collectively flip off shithead and remember what a good thing we have going here.

He did give us a new filter.

[littlefallsmets]

I would just like to apologize for my comparison between inter-religious strife and an argument as to what colour eggs the Easter Bunny shits.

It is not my best work.

It nails the absurdity pretty well but does not quite get to the heart of how pompous and condescending I can get when I'm really frothed up about faith.

I do not respect other people at all when I am sure about something and... I am trying to be less of a dick.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Well at least someone read it.

[linnea]

I am indeed pleased that my little idea of a thread - Today I'm Gonna - was recognized for a lifetime achievement. It would not have been possible without everyone here.

[robot_god]

OH my GOD I can't believe it!  My thread won!  I never thought it could happen!

Instinctively I wonder who is the real winner here?  Is it me, who simply created a thread blaring the word "uncircumcised," ultimately garnering votes through sheer shock value?  Or is it the posters themselves, delving though [Touamb stuff] as only Touamb members can?

Perhaps it is the thread itself, which takes on a life of its own, the creators merely creating the spark; much in the same manner the primordial ooze becomes self-aware.  Like so many threads on this great forum, each thread becomes a separate community: unpredictable, writhing, slimy, and alive.

No.

The real winners are the dudes who are circumcised, since they live without the fear of their dicks turning to mold and rotting away.

So on behalf of these dudes, I accept this great honor and leave you with the timeless adage, "cutt dat shit off."

THANK YOU.

[littlefallsmets]

I imagine a nation of men, chanting in unison, similar to in FIGHT CLUB when they chanted "HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSEN!" except chanting in one shared and true voice "CUT THAT SHIT OFF!" and... it is beautiful.

("I imagine a nation of men" needs to be pictured mentally in the same intonation as the Ghost of Christmas Present saying "I see a tiny crutch in the corner, unattended.")

[Turbo Ninja]

I don't think I participated in that thread.  Normally I'd treat this like I do when a movie I haven't seen wins the Oscar for Best Picture (add to Netflix queue, feel slight measure of alienation) but based on A-Cap's description I don't plan on revisiting a classic.