Lumpy Gravy (a Comspiracy Theory)

[Carlos del Vaca]

Poutine, motherfucker! Do you speak it?

A drunken late night in Montreal, roughly 2000.

[littlefallsmets]

I'm with you on the fries and I'm with you on the cheese curds... you lose me on the gravy.

Poutine, man, it is like the KFC Double Down... there is taking junk food too far to the point of awesome and then there is taking junk food too far to the point of feeling bad about yourself and others.

It seems like the cheese curds all melty on top of fries is a night with the person of your dreams and then someone says "okay, I'll do you one better, a THREEWAY with yourself, your dream person and someone else!" and you think to yourself "AWESOME!" and then... the third person isn't like the runner up person of your dreams, it is some weird person from last call at a hillbilly bar. It is like subtraction through addition, you think that you're adding decadence on top of decadence but really you're just fuck*ng it up by overcomplicating the issue.

Especially, when 99.9% of poutine doesn't involve such as good freshly-made gravy, it involves horrible greasy stuff from a heated vat.

Of course, I only dig gravy in a limited amount of settings. If you don't have that type of gravy on the type of meat it came from or, at least, on top of a side accompanying the type of meat it came from, preferably real goddamned gravy from that particular roast or whatnot, I don't see the point of bringing gravy into the situation out of the blue.

Gravy's supposed to be part of the process of making a thing and then you make a sauce for the thing with the leftovers from making the thing, right?

I dunno. I guess I'm just saying that as awesome as good gravy is in situations that call for it, a lot of people guild the lily with it in places where it just isn't necessary.

And also: I really dislike poutine.

[jay-ell]

Gravy's supposed to be part of the process of making a thing and then you make a sauce for the thing with the leftovers from making the thing, right?

This is an idea I can get behind, yeah.

[Carlos del Vaca]

And also: I really dislike poutine.

You just need to DRINK MORE FIRST

[jaydub]

You just need to DRINK MORE FIRST

You'll know when you've had enough, because your camera phone won't focus anymore.

[Nabubrush]

Actually, the last time I had poutine I split a jumbo order with my lovely (yeah, I don't know why she digs me that much either) in honor of a NHL playoff game that I really needed a win in, and we lost. The time before was like in Fort St. John or some fuck*ng place. With the ex.

I may skip the poutine next time, actually.