Shit my ________ says

[side_show]

"He is approaching these duties like a woman who sees a penis in her kitchen. He leaps onto a chair, broom in hand, and has no idea what to do but shriek in horror."

Sad.

Sometimes I wonder if there is hope for your beautiful country.

[littlefallsmets]

Probably not.

Rome had to fall and they left some nice roads and postal routes for everyone to keep using.

The business bastards have too much power to rile up the idiots and they're closing down our schools so that there'll be more idiots to rile.

The full retreat into a rump state might not happen in my lifetime but... a few generations.

May we not bring down lovely Canada with us as we go.

[jaydub]

I always thought macking was what the British called snogging - Public Displays of Affection, in other words.  What the dude in SS's tale was doing is "hitting on" her.  I reserve the right to be in the uncultured minority on the point however.

[miles]

I've heard both uses, but more often I think macking means "hitting on."

[Doc]

I always thought macking was what the British called snogging - Public Displays of Affection, in other words.  What the dude in SS's tale was doing is "hitting on" her.  I reserve the right to be in the uncultured minority on the point however.

I stand with my countryman on this one.

[robot_god]

Over here (where it matters), it is synonymous with "running yo game."  You would say something like, "I'm gon mack it to this broad."  Also a mack is a noun as referenced in this classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w

[Asherdan]

Hmpf, you guys are arguing some incomplete shit. I always figured it was picking a girl up at a frat party, getting her three quarters drunk while chitty chatting her up then playing a little tonsil-hockey titty-rub into a half-assed BJ. When she heads for the bathroom, you split.

Wait...shit...if I got that in an email I'd totally think it would fit in this thread...shit.

[Victoria Waterfield]

Wait...shit...if I got that in an email I'd totally think it would fit in this thread...shit.

Shit my self says

[JorgeFabregas]

I volunteer in an adult literacy/GED class. The supervisor loudly proclaims her amazement at the low reading levels of some of the students and wonders how they got to wherever they are in life. She thinks that this is out of earshot of the students, but it often is not.

[pmcd9]

I volunteer in an adult literacy/GED class. The supervisor loudly proclaims her amazement at the low reading levels of some of the students and wonders how they got to wherever they are in life. She thinks that this is out of earshot of the students, but it often is not.

We need more shame based learning.

[jaydub]

We need more shame based learning.

Hove some dignity.

[theinevitable]

recently my mom sent me an email about how anyone can achieve anything they want in America, and if they don't they aren't trying hard enough, and called out her best friend for deciding to not go to college. Then she compared this woman to my dad's success, which... they are not at all in the same circumstances, never were, these stories are completely different.

she also has really abrasive opinions about illegal immigrants. This is hard, because anti-immigrant sentiment is one of the things that makes me so mad that I start feeling sick to my stomach.
She talks about how she became a legal citizen, it isn't that hard, etc, as if she didn't have any advantages going into the whole process.

...I also kind of think, sometimes, that she would be one of those customers who would yell at me in order to get her way.

[wombat]

There's another reason that it's good to have the job you have, so you don't grow up to be one of those people. If it runs in your family, even more important you get inoculated against it. The Technical Staff has never had a job like that, and although he certainly doesn't yell at people, he makes no effort to be nice to them, to say thank you or anything, and I always have to watch how he tips. He has no empathy for them.

OK, I feel fortunate that this is the latest email my mom forwarded:

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same fuck*ng elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
 

[pmcd9]

I've gotten that one from my uncle too.

[Doc]

Wombat your mum is awesome.