The Real Reason We Wear Clothes

[theinevitable]

There is nothing wrong with buying jeans based on how they look... but jeans without pockets look really stupid.

When I look at a butt without butt-pockets, it is like my brain can't process the shape of the butt. It is really disappointing.

[Asherdan]

When I look at a butt without butt pockets all I see is a denim seam cutting them hams in half. Not as appealing as you would think, unless you're a butcher, I s'pose.

[wombat]

The whole purpose of jeans is to be cheap and durable. "Silhouettes" and shit do not even enter into the equation.

Where you are wrong about this is that a properly fitting normal pair of jeans - with pockets - is possibly the most attractive garment that a person can wear. AND it's practical.

[Nabubrush]

I'll be the voice of dissent here. My wife's can looks fantastic in snug slacks without pockets. Of course, it also looks fantastic in jeans. And then in a skirt (of course no pockets) her hips look terrific.

[jaydub]

Who remembers those jeans with the zipper all the way from front to back, up through the hams - as it were?

[Carlos del Vaca]

How about this one?
http://www.alleewillis.com/awmok/hair/walking-turn-un

(I just saw this today, and I can't remember where it was linked from. If someone posted it on TOUAMB earlier, just kick me in the shins.)

[pmcd9]

I remember seeing an ad in the back of Rolling Stone magazine many years ago for a pair of ##### that had an affordance for the male member.  It was like a glove for your dick.

[jaydub]

Found 'em: Rag City Blues

Good image of the idea


Good image of the implementation.

God bless the Internet!

[jay-ell]

I....

....don't remember ever seeing those. But now I sort of want a pair.

[jaydub]

I shudder to think of 4-7yr olds wearing those, JL.

[Asherdan]

I remember those. I still marvel at anyone wanting a line of metal teeth running through the crotch area.

[side_show]

At first I thought these sort of ##### would be useful for sex trade workers, but then I thought about how unpleasent it would be to try to do the deed while working around zipper teeth, and I decided that they are instead totally functionless.

[jay-ell]

You could always peel them back down to the knees. It could work.

Jaydub, I had a brother and cousins ranging from 8 - 15 years older than me, and I sometimes hung out with them and their friends. So I'm more well-versed in 80's fashion and culture than most people born at the tail end of the '70s, so I find it kind of surprising that I never saw jeans like those anywhere. I didn't mean I expected to see them at grade school.

Then again, my brother's friends were mainly churchgoing types, and even if one of my cousins had owned a pair, my aunts certainly wouldn't have let them wear it to a family gathering.

[Asherdan]

They were definitely a short lived niche item that didn't quite catch on big time. I remember noting them and the girl who sported them circa Sophomore year HS.

She had a fine can, zipper or no.