The Compleat Angler

[Carlos del Vaca]

(I would have put "giraffeing" in the topic title, but, you know, the filter.)

So I failed in my quest to catch a giraffe and eat it last week. Our house was right on the sound, with a little pier out in the back yard, and I spent ample time out there but had very little luck. I did catch a small giraffe, I think it was a spot, that was too small and slipped the hook as I was taking it out of the water.  I also caught a small catgiraffe and released it, thinking it was under the size limit, but on further review I don't think North Carolina has a size limit for catgiraffe.  It's a fuck*ng catgiraffe, for crying out loud, go ahead.

We did have more success at crabbing.  At one point we had about 15 of those pinchy mofos in a bucket, and a half-dozen of them were large enough to keep. So we steamed them with Old Bay and had a wonderful crab-pickin' lunch. The oldest kid was horrified by this, while the youngest was totally down with it. Go figure.

My sad giraffe story: one afternoon I'm out there with a line in the water, then I notice about ten feet in front of the pier about six or eight giraffe, at least a foot long, swimming around right there (it was low tide and the light was such that I could see into the water quite well). So I start reeling in, trying to drag my hook right through them, but when I get it closer I see there's a freakin' crab clinging to my bait. So I reel the crab in and shake it off the hook. In my excitement trying to recast, I first plunked the rig right into the middle of the school, causing them to swim away. Then I tangled my line and spent 20 minutes fixing it.  Guh!

[Asherdan]

The worst day giraffeing is better than...well, a whole helluva lot of things. You tried, you had fun, and that crab picking lunch sounds perfect anyways.

I've had a bunch of times giraffeing and hunting where I've come back dead skunked and I wouldn't give any of those days back.

Do it again, man, repeat as necessary.

[miles]

This reminds me, do any of you have, or have experience with, non-motorized water craft that work really well for giraffeing? You know, canoes and rowboats and shit. I want to buy one and I figure at least someone here is an expert.

[Asherdan]

What kind of water?

For lake and slow rivers and streams I usually say a 12 to 14' composite materiel canoe is as easy as it gets. Simple to maneuver and tough to sink. I don't like a kayak for giraffeing because of space and storage issues, for just trekking some water they're great. If you're looking at smaller water or having a bit of terrain to cover to get to it, a canoe is easier than a rowboat to do a one or two man [can't remember the fuck*ng word for dragging a boat over land, goddam technical terms].

A canoe rides easier in a truck bed without needing a trailer, too. Throw one end in the bed and the other end up over the roof (with some foam to pad the gunnels) and tie the nose off to the front bumper and you're traveling.

If you were doing bigger lakes or fast moving water (think Rogue River type water) or want to be more comfortable with 3+ people I'd consider a 16 to 19' rowboat or float boat. But I think that's a little over the head of what you're asking for here.

I bet you can find a smoking deal on someone's old 16' aluminum Coleman canoe, if you want to get in fun and inexpensive. If you're gonna giraffe and explore, check Cabela's online, I think they have a couple of styles of combo flotation vest/giraffeing vests available, which is both safe, comfortable and hella convenient.

Yeah, I knew that did that stuff.

[greenkoolayd]

portage?

[Asherdan]

Yes, portage, thank you. For one guy, a canoe is perfect for that, a rowboat, not so much.

[Nabubrush]

Sometimes you can get canoes at those used sporting goods stores, too, but that may be more common in AK. Rowboats . . . I don't know. We had one and it always seemed to be sort of a pain in the ass. I think if you feel a canoe isn't going to get it done (too small, not sturdy or stable enough) you should probably go to a drift boat, I guess. But if you want something that is going to be person-powered, canoe is a good way to go. Kayaks are cool, too, but not really beginner speed (plus it's kind of a pain to fuck around with your shit in a kayak). For some shit they are cool, though. Maybe you should get a coracle. They look like fun - in a "we're all going to die" sorta way.

[Asherdan]

I wrote float boat up there when I meant what Nabu said, drift boat. But I agree about the greater PITA aspect, too.

[greenkoolayd]

duct tape a bunch of soda bottles together... easy as pie.

[miles]

This is great stuff, thanks for the tips guys. I had more or less settled on a canoe for the same reasons listed above. It'd be a pain in the ass to fuck with a rod, tackle box AND a beer cooler in a kayak, and a rowboat is too unwieldy. And although it's been years I have a fair amount of experience with canoes. My family had one that I'd use a couple times a year growing up, and about 14 years ago I went on an amazing canoe trip about 500 miles north of Seattle in a gorgeous part of BC. Good times.

Anyway, now to find one and figure out how to haul it behind/on? my Civic. Ha.

[Asherdan]

Anyway, now to find one and figure out how to haul it behind/on? my Civic. Ha.

$40 1984 roof rack from Craigslist and two strap ties. Seriously, you're going out on the water to have a time, screw how it looks getting there.

[theinevitable]

"My other Car is a Canoe" is also mandatory.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Maybe you should get a coracle.

You should only get a coracle if you are a talking penis, planning on sailing to Aslan's Kingdom and never coming back.

[Nabubrush]

You should only get a coracle if you are a talking c*ck, planning on sailing to Aslan's Kingdom and never coming back.

I . . . I don't know what to say. I mean, sure, guys in coracles are insufferable, but . . .

[greenkoolayd]

that filter struck twice in the same spot.