Dumb Song Lines

[AlohaDawg]

This thread has become an excellent source if intellectual discourse on modern music and when I'm not thoroughly lost in what appears to be everyone elses reality, I've really enjoyed learning about Arab Straps and Bukkake Fiascoes (awesome band name, August) I think it's time to dumb it down. And why not dumb it down with the songwriters.

Please post for me one or two of the Dumb lines you can think of from a song. Or, if not dumb, dumb-sounding, especially out of context. Bad forced rhymes get bonus punches.

The one that has been in my head is from Peter Frampton's "Do You (YOU!) Feeeel like I Dooooo"

"Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand.
 Whose wine? What wine? Where the Hell did I dine?"

Let me know if I just misheard this some 30 years ago....

[V-Adore]

Ah, yes, bad forced rhymes...

I have any number of lines, but the one that comes to mind immediately is the infamous awful forced rhyme from "Last Kiss":

She's gone to Heaven, so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leeeeeave this world!

I have also always had an ironic attachment to the repeated lyric in "hoss With No Name" about the 'plants and birds and rocks and things.'

[AlohaDawg]

In fact, "hoss with no Name" goes on my all time Dumb Song list, with "Traveling man" by Ricky Nelson, "I'm your Captain" by I am not sure who, "Athena" by The Who", and that one from last year that went something like "Woh-Oh, Amber is the color of your energy" which I never got, and could not figure out how that chorus could possibly be a hook.

[CortJstr]

Feet to feet, the jams were neat
people got along, it was great

e:verything - Good Thing (St. Luicia)

(It's that "who got the hooch, the fresh-e fresh-e" band. Remember that song?)

[V-Adore]

Feet to feet, the jams were neat
people got along, it was great

e:verything - Good Thing (St. Luicia)

(It's that "who got the hooch, the fresh-e fresh-e" band. Remember that song?)

I do now. GODDAMN YOU.

[Bozack]

As much as I love Billy Bragg, this line is so insane that it is either horrible or my favorite line ever:
"I love you,
I am the milkman of human kindness,
I will leave an extra pint."

....
The MILKMAN. Of HUMAN KINDNESS.

[AlohaDawg]

Good One. That so Sucks. Awesome. Amber is the color of his energy. And junk.

[jough]

Yeah, we get it.

Fer fucksake man, get OVER yourself.

[AlohaDawg]

Aww, Jough, give him a break. He's just leaving an extra pint of his special brand of Milky Kindness.

Eww.

[pmcd9]

I'm your Captain = Grand Funk Railroad

~Paul

[pmcd9]

I've always liked "If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar."

~Paul

[Limmo]

I've always liked "If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar."

~Paul

Thank you Paul.

[St_Zartan]

I got a man.
What's your man got to do with me
I got a man.
I'm not trying to hear that, see

Also, m'Lud, I would like to submit the entirety of "Dur Dur D'etre Un Bebe", and all of the adolescent crap that Atari Teenage Riot ever uttered. That is the sort of shit you think up and write on your Trapper Keeper when you're in like tenth grade to piss off your teachers and impress the chicks with awesome dyed hair.

[jay-ell]

C&C Music Factory.  Things that make you go Hmmmm....

"Mysterious calls and the phone goes click
You say to yourself  'I'm gonna hit him with a brick'"

Hmmmmm....

[V-Adore]

I would like to nominate every line in Barry Manilow's "Copacabana," because I hate "Copacabana" with every part of my soul capable of bearing hatred. Train's "Drops of Jupiter" is also basically one giant wad of Bad Line. (Checks out Mozart while she does Tae Bo / Reminds me that there's room to grow, oh yeah yeah?)

Also, if "so horrible it is wonderful" songs are allowed, I'd like to humbly submit the entire career of Harry and the Potters -- I'm not entirely sure how intentional it is, but mildly-competent garage rock about Harry Potter is fundamentally a good thing, even if it is awful. The apotheosis, the alpha and omega of Horrible and Beautiful Lyrics, is from their song "Wizard Chess":

I got a mysterious gift from my dead dad
It was an invisibility cloak -- how rad!

Also, on the subject of awful strained rhyme, I've remembered the most elongated strained rhyme ever, from Steve Miller's "Take the Money and Run":

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know, he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his living off of the people's taxes

Yes.