Ghetto Chef

[Bozack]

This is a continuation of the post where I taught everyone about the joys of Oreo Soup. I think this should be the topic for everyone who is confused and bewildered by these hoity-toity "I COOK my food" cats.
So, Ghetto Chef tip #1: If you crack an egg in a container of ramen right after you pour the hot water in, the water will cook the egg, and it will be tasty. Also, if you are doing this for another person, and I mean a very special person, it shows you have class oozing out of your classhole.
Enjoy!

[andalucia]

Man, that was my fave food before I went all vegan.  I'm the ghettoest.

[slink]

If you crack an egg in a container of ramen right after you pour the hot water in, the water will cook the egg, and it will be tasty.

I'd want to all beat the egg then stir it in like erm, oh, you know, that Chinese soup where they do that, which I just love.

[V-Adore]

Mmmmm, ghetto sukiyaki.

[Asherdan]

An old favorite of mine:

Prepare ramen in microwave sans seasonings, drain, and add your choice of chili straight from the can. Stir so both the noodles and the chili become lukewarm.

Devour.  Flatuate.

Chili-Spagetti in three minutes!

[AlohaDawg]

Ash, that's almost as beautiful as the "Frito Pie" which in my worldview is ghetto food. You get the snack size bag of fritos and open the top, add a ladleful of warm chili (try the canned kind), throw in some meltin' cheese and maybe some green peppers. Spoon it back out and eat. It's good walkin' around food, too.

[Asherdan]

Dawg, my mother actually presented us with that 'Frito Pie' type thing once as young 'uns.  Except it was all fancied up with ground round, kidney beans, green beans, chopped onion, various seasonings covered with a thick layer of cheese and a heavy top coat of, yes, Fritos in a tall casserol dish.

We ate it but I got one of my all time great lines to insult the chef with.  It went like this:

[Looking at Sons] DAD: You guys know what would go good on this?

SON 1 & SON 2: What Dad?!?

[With great relish and timing] DAD: About three feet of dirt!!!

SON 1 & SON 2: HAHAHAHA!

[MOM stalks from kitchen, DAD, Son 1 and SON 2 eat cereal and scrambled eggs for three days before MOM cooks again]

[wombat]

Is this the right place to report that I haven't tried the Oreo Soup yet, but  did have the cereal.  Uncannily like Oreos.  Unfortunately I forgot that I always take the cream out of Oreos before I eat them.  I haven't figured out how to take those little specks of cream stuff off all those bits of cereal.  I think it will involve soaking them in a bowl of milk then pouring it off and putting new milk on.  I haven't tried this yet because I suspect it will cause domestic unrest.

[Limmo]

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Providence Rhode Island style:

Prepare one package of Kraft M&C.  Add one can of tuna giraffe.  Add a can of peas if you're feeling ambitious.  Serve.

[Asherdan]

I've tried that one as well.  My version of ambitious would have been adding a can of peas & carrots.

My food habits were greatly enhanced by marriage.

[Limmo]

My version of ambitious would have been adding a can of peas & carrots.

You aristocrat you.

[Bozack]

Ghetto Chef Tip# 2:
Salsa is actually more than a meal, because you can add it to items that are nominally not a meal, and they will become a meal. For instance:
Rice-not a meal.
Rice WITH SALSA- meal.
Can of tuna- not a meal.
Can of tuna WITH SALSA- meal.
The possibilities of salsa are endless. For instance, I'm sure you know that salsa on egg is delish. But what about salsa on a stale piece of white bread?
STILL GOOD!
Ha, and sadly, I've eaten everything above at one point in the last few months.
Also, I think i've got a tapeworm.

[wombat]

The really great thing about salsa is that unlike ketchup it really does have to count as eating your vegetables, don't you think?

Irrelevant aside: Duh, I finally figured out that Ghetto Chef's weird screenname must be his address.  I come from an outer borough, but still, I feel like a dope.

[CortJstr]

The really great thing about salsa is that unlike ketchup it really does have to count as eating your vegetables, don't you think?

Irrelevant aside: Duh, I finally figured out that Ghetto Chef's weird screenname must be his address.  I come from an outer borough, but still, I feel like a dope.

There's a Dumbrella guy who lists his Location as his latitude and longitude so I was thinking it was something like that.

Oh, and rice + tuna = meal too. Especially if either the rice or the tuna is the flavored kind. Saffron rice rice and that new spicy tuna pouch is pretty good.

[jay-ell]

Personal favorite: Mac & cheese with little cut-up hot dogs.  I cut up the dogs and put them in with the pasta so I only have to dirty one pot.  Then, after draining the pasta and dogs, I put them back in the same pan, add the cheese sauce (I get the deluxe kind with the Bag O' Cheese), and eat it with a fork right out of the saucepan.  

At least, that's what I did when I was single.  Like Asherdan, marriage has enhanced my culinary skills considerably.  Now I put the Mac and Cheese in a bowl.  

And I buy "lite."  

And don't eat the whole thing myself.  

Yup, that's about it.