O.D. on waxy Easter candy?

[linnea]

Oh man. After promising myself that I would not eat that nizzasty, Crisco-packed, waxy Easter candy, I have found myself hunting it down and consuming it with an almost burning compulsion.

So what are your favorite kinds, everyone? I swore that I would hold out for Godiva, but my knees get weak from those goddamned Reese's products.

Eggs, cups, mini-cups, Pop'ables... no form of chocolate snack is safe from the evil clutches of Reese's.

[Nabubrush]

Cadbury eggs and nothin' else. Until my teeth hurt.

[CortJstr]

Cadbury Eggs were definitely in the top 5 reasons that Jesus sacrificed himself. I am convinced this is the case. But only the original creme flavor.

Those Russel-Stover CUNT eggs aren't half bad.

Jell-O eggs are a tool of The Adversary.

Pastel Nerds and M&Ms are pretty dandy, though.

[V-Adore]

I am split between Cadbury's Creme Eggs and Cadbury's Mini Eggs as the primary reason I care about Easter. mmmm, sacrifice.

I just received my Easter care package today, and among the usual Cadbury's stipend and secular candy* (flavored fudge and caramel creams -- damn fine, but not exclusively Easteresque) I apparently have a few Reese's white-chocolate-covered peanut butter eggs. This might be totally awesome.

* This box also contained a bag of potato chips, microwave popcorn, the first volume of the "One Piece" manga, and two pairs of capris. I think it turned into the "Stuff V Left At Home After Spring Break" Box somewhere in the middle.

[V-Adore]

(EDIT: V accidentally hit "quote" when she meant "edit" on the previous thing and spawned this. V is a moron. Carry on.)

[Ben-San]

I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.

[Asherdan]

Whatever the hell brand name they are called, those whoppers/malted milk ball things disguised as eggs are my evil downfall.  The fact that they come in a milk style carton so one (me) can pour them straight down the gullet does not help a lick.

(I lie. It helps a great deal)

[V-Adore]

I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.

This is the power of the Cadbury egg, man -- you want them even when you don't.

Come to think of it, maybe Cadbury eggs are some sort of manifestation of the fleshly world of vicarious temptation, and by eating them at Easter we're displaying how deeply we miss the point... but at least we miss the point in a highly tasty manner.

[jay-ell]

Cadbury eggs, through and through.  The classic ones -- I hate caramel, so those are out, and the double chocolate ones just aren't traditional enough.  But, since I generally take small bites, I sort of prefer the little ones.  That way I don't have to unhinge my jaw like a the snaky mutant that I am.  

However, I am convinced that marshmallow peeps are the spawn of satan.  They are, truly, The Nast.  I'll forgive anyone who actually eats them, because they are the candy corn of Easter -- but I do not under any circumstances allow Peeps into my home.  Especially the pink ones.  

Ew.

[jough]

I love marshmallow peeps, but only after I've microwaved them for 45 seconds.

They blow up to about 5 times their size, and then AS SOON AS the microwave stops you have to open it up quickly to watch it shrink down to a tiny burnt sticky thing, which is then delicious.

[jough]

P.S. The same technique works with kittens (although they don't taste too good after you're done).

[Gimpson]

Skittles, Jelly Belly and Malted Milk Anything.  I think I prefer the candy covered malted milk eggs to actual Whoppers, though.

[Nabubrush]

The fact that they come in a milk style carton so one (me) can pour them straight down the gullet does not help a lick.

This is dangerously close to belonging in "The Conservatory and Milk Purchases".

[CortJstr]

I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.

This happens to me with old Cadbury Eggs. The fresh ones (how messed up is this thought, btw?) are gooier and almost liquid. As they age the center kind of crystalizes and gets way less tastey.

Fact that freaked me out when I first heard it: Smarties are just Pixy Stix compressed into pellet form. This caused me the same look of awe as when I realized that the Barny Song is just This Old Man and Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World was the voice of K.I.T.T.

And if you think Pixy Stix are bad you should read a package of Nerds sometime. The first three ingredients are (I believe) sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and sucrose. That makes honey look like brocoli in terms of sugar-delivery/oz.

The fact that they come in a milk style carton so one (me) can pour them straight down the gullet does not help a lick.

This is why Whoopers in other packaging (like at the movies) just don't taste as good. The carton/gullet connection is special. If Nerds came like that I'd have died from diabetic shock at age 5.

[linnea]

I love marshmallow peeps, but only after I've microwaved them for 45 seconds.

They blow up to about 5 times their size, and then AS SOON AS the microwave stops you have to open it up quickly to watch it shrink down to a tiny burnt sticky thing, which is then delicious.

That is awesome.

My favorite Easter-Peeps tradition is to host a Jousting Match in my microwave.

You give each Peep a toothpick for a sword. Set the timer for 45 seconds. Whomever gets punctured first is the LOSER.

Then you can make delicious, sugary Peep S'mores with their liquefied remains. Mmm. Easter.