The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: St_Zartan on May 17, 2004, 08:48:00 pm
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If you ever played Vampire, you'd so be a Toreador.
This reminds me of a chemistry class I had to take about a year ago; not wanting to blow Big Bux at a proper university where the instructors will actually have Expectations and Standards, I shot through it at the local community college. (According to local urban legend, Stone Cold Steve Austin is, if not exactly an alumnus, a former student. Which is almost irrelevant enough to be true.)
So did I ever tell you about the crazy hebephrenic chick that sat next to me and informed me, one day, during a lab exercise, a lab exercise which involved things like sodium and [/i]open flames[/i], informed me in the gravest of tones that I, were I actually a Vampire of the Broody McRolesalot stripe, would be a "Brujah". (I had to look up the spelling.)
FAQ
1.1: WHAT DID I DO
So what I'm saying is that like five hundred years from now when no one knows any better people are going to have taken today's role-playing hardbacks and suchlike and formed some sort of actual belief system out of them, so we can all sit and imagine some insectoid hairdresser running her sixteen fingers over a client's exoskeleton and saying things like OH NO HE DIDN'T HE IS SUCH A TOREADOR
Also have a good vacation Jough
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So what I'm saying is that like five hundred years from now when no one knows any better people are going to have taken today's role-playing hardbacks and suchlike and formed some sort of actual belief system out of them
Indeed. What terrifies me is that I have known people who played Vampire who already had used it to form their belief structure. Scary, sad, sad people.
The unfortunate part is that Toreador just entirely sum up say, all of the Anne Rice vampires that are just so gay.
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So what I'm saying is that like five hundred years from now when no one knows any better people are going to have taken today's role-playing hardbacks and suchlike and formed some sort of actual belief system out of them, so we can all sit and imagine some insectoid hairdresser running her sixteen fingers over a client's exoskeleton and saying things like OH NO HE DIDN'T HE IS SUCH A TOREADOR
I missed you, Zart. I really did.
Anyway, being this sort of Nerdy McDicealot, I have had conversations like this. I've never been snap-diagnosed with a vampire clan, though; maybe I should work on that.
I would totally be a Ventrue, sadly enough. Or a Son of Ether.
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Or a Son of Ether.
Until I copy / pasted this provocative bit of tiny text, I was dead certain that it said "Son of Boner", and in that moment, I had this whole expositional newsreel unspool all at once about how some hardcore Statsy McInventories might try to supplement / completely replace their sex lives by folding in (cooking term) all sorts of Magical Sex Gimmicks. You know, like "Sons of Boner" not being allowed to forget insults or sit on nicely upholstered furniture or whatever.
Of course, I might have been a little biased by my foreknowledge that someone made an entire "storytelling game" based around a series of hentai GIFs that are like two hundred years old (http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/2247/Injurpg.txt). "I received no responses to requests for input on how the game was". NO
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Or a Son of Ether.
Until I copy / pasted this provocative bit of tiny text, I was dead certain that it said "Son of Boner", and in that moment, I had this whole expositional newsreel unspool all at once about how some hardcore Statsy McInventories might try to supplement / completely replace their sex lives by folding in (cooking term) all sorts of Magical Sex Gimmicks. You know, like "Sons of Boner" not being allowed to forget insults or sit on nicely upholstered furniture or whatever.
a) "Son of Ether," which is really not substantially less dorky; and
b) Some people have done this. We generally mock them heartily.
Of course, of my two favorite games right now, one involves "Pornomancers" and another recently printed high-level bestiality rules. I am saddened and worried.
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Or a Son of Ether.
Until I copy / pasted this provocative bit of tiny text, I was dead certain that it said "Son of Boner", and in that moment, I had this whole expositional newsreel unspool all at once about how some hardcore Statsy McInventories might try to supplement / completely replace their sex lives by folding in (cooking term) all sorts of Magical Sex Gimmicks. You know, like "Sons of Boner" not being allowed to forget insults or sit on nicely upholstered furniture or whatever.
a) "Son of Ether," which is really not substantially less dorky; and
b) Some people have done this. We generally mock them heartily.
Of course, of my two favorite games right now, one involves "Pornomancers" and another recently printed high-level bestiality rules. I am saddened and worried.
And turned on.
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...another recently printed high-level bestiality rules. I am saddened and worried.
Just a couple of things I'd like to clear up here, semantically:
(1.) "printed" - Are we talking about a small group of highly motivated and deeply problemed _____ey Mc______salots with access to a photocopier and perhaps a small bindery concern churning out unofficial supplemental material, or are we talking about glossy, hardbound editions with nice illustrations like you might see on the side of a van in the late 1970's and official status with all the rights and privileges thereto? Because I simultaneously can and cannot see people paying like forty bucks just to make sure that the deep love and understanding between Count Angst and his pony is correctly depicted, statistically or otherwise. Which sort of brings me to
(2.) "high-level" - What? Does this mean your basic stooge with a once-a-day magic missile and ten hit points has to stick to invertebrates and planarians and such? Or is this a reference to the sheer level of detail and potential impact / consquences? IS IT NOT ENOUGH TO SIMPLY SAY "LATER ON, I HAVE SEX WITH THE DOLPHIN, OKAY GUYS, YOU SEE ME COMING OUT OF THE NATATORIUM ALL SMILING AND RELAXED AND SHIT"
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My character is totally putting on an extra pair of ##### and hiding under a desk at this point.
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My character is totally putting on an extra pair of ##### and hiding under a desk at this point.
You fool! While hiding some sultry cat-woman will sit at that desk placing her goods right at your character's mouth-level. Possibly during and important meeting for added danger. You need to go hide in a garage or landfill or someplace else inherently unsexy.
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Just a couple of things I'd like to clear up here, semantically:
(1.) "printed" - Are we talking about a small group of highly motivated and deeply problemed _____ey Mc______salots with access to a photocopier and perhaps a small bindery concern churning out unofficial supplemental material, or are we talking about glossy, hardbound editions with nice illustrations like you might see on the side of a van in the late 1970's and official status with all the rights and privileges thereto? Because I simultaneously can and cannot see people paying like forty bucks just to make sure that the deep love and understanding between Count Angst and his pony is correctly depicted, statistically or otherwise. Which sort of brings me to
This was officially printed in a forty-dollar-or-so book that a friend of mine actually paid money for. It was not what we would call a major point of the book, more a few-line deviation in the middle of a section which was otherwise perfectly normal (well, relatively normal, anyway), but it was definitely official sanctioned White-Wolf-type game material.
Of course it was White Wolf. Did you honestly expect anyone else?
(2.) "high-level" - What? Does this mean your basic stooge with a once-a-day magic missile and ten hit points has to stick to invertebrates and planarians and such? Or is this a reference to the sheer level of detail and potential impact / consquences? IS IT NOT ENOUGH TO SIMPLY SAY "LATER ON, I HAVE SEX WITH THE DOLPHIN, OKAY GUYS, YOU SEE ME COMING OUT OF THE NATATORIUM ALL SMILING AND RELAXED AND SHIT"
More or less potential impact/consequences. To summarize it: if you have a certain amount of mojo, there is a chance related to your mojosity that any given personal-type interaction you have with an animal will be all, like, viable and creating of a halfbreed monstrosity and such. This seems like a fairly conclusive argument for your sufficiently mojoful characters not to have their secret junk interact with a goat's, and I must say that I don't intend on testing these rules any time soon, but the fact that they had to print a rule for this terrifies me beyond human comprehension.
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Just a couple of things I'd like to clear up here, semantically:
(1.) "printed" - Are we talking about a small group of highly motivated and deeply problemed _____ey Mc______salots with access to a photocopier and perhaps a small bindery concern churning out unofficial supplemental material, or are we talking about glossy, hardbound editions with nice illustrations like you might see on the side of a van in the late 1970's and official status with all the rights and privileges thereto? Because I simultaneously can and cannot see people paying like forty bucks just to make sure that the deep love and understanding between Count Angst and his pony is correctly depicted, statistically or otherwise. Which sort of brings me to
This was officially printed in a forty-dollar-or-so book that a friend of mine actually paid money for. It was not what we would call a major point of the book, more a few-line deviation in the middle of a section which was otherwise perfectly normal (well, relatively normal, anyway), but it was definitely official sanctioned White-Wolf-type game material.
Of course it was White Wolf. Did you honestly expect anyone else?
(2.) "high-level" - What? Does this mean your basic stooge with a once-a-day magic missile and ten hit points has to stick to invertebrates and planarians and such? Or is this a reference to the sheer level of detail and potential impact / consquences? IS IT NOT ENOUGH TO SIMPLY SAY "LATER ON, I HAVE SEX WITH THE DOLPHIN, OKAY GUYS, YOU SEE ME COMING OUT OF THE NATATORIUM ALL SMILING AND RELAXED AND SHIT"
More or less potential impact/consequences. To summarize it: if you have a certain amount of mojo, there is a chance related to your mojosity that any given personal-type interaction you have with an animal will be all, like, viable and creating of a halfbreed monstrosity and such. This seems like a fairly conclusive argument for your sufficiently mojoful characters not to have their secret junk interact with a goat's, and I must say that I don't intend on testing these rules any time soon, but the fact that they had to print a rule for this terrifies me beyond human comprehension.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the future of America.