The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: AlohaDawg on June 24, 2004, 06:42:54 am
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Hey, I know you guys are full of love. I'm just agin' the eatin' of babies is all.
Plus, early in the process, when yer old and junk, you worry more about stuff.
There will be floppy ears, hopefully part of a costume.
Name suggestions are welcomed.
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How about: Jaqui Malouf
(the poor woman
all forgotten since Bobby McFlay quit havin' that show
all not knowin' how to cook
all being vapid eye candy)
Okay, nevermind
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How about: Jaqui Malouf
Having never heard of this woman, I spent about thirty seconds trying to work out the dirty joke that I clearly wasn't getting.
Names that make people think "there is a dirty joke in here somewhere" should probably be ruled out due to potential punishment.
EDIT: I GUESS IT COULD BE SOMEONE WITH THEIR MOUTH FULL (OR SOMETHING) SAYING "JACKING 'EM ALL OFF"
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Hey, I know you guys are full of love. I'm just agin' the eatin' of babies is all.
Plus, early in the process, when yer old and junk, you worry more about stuff.
There will be floppy ears, hopefully part of a costume.
Name suggestions are welcomed.
*tisk,tisk* breeder.
As for names, here is possibly the meanest site for mocking bad baby names http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
I would also like to suggest Coco, or Apple.
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Love that site. I told anyone who asked that our baby was going to be "Rodona Maddysyn."
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We've decided on Hero Elizabeth for a girl or Adrian Pearson for a boy.
This discussion has suddenly become much more relevant, somehow.
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We've decided on Hero Elizabeth for a girl or Adrian Pearson for a boy.
This discussion has suddenly become much more relevant, somehow.
Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
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Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
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Apple
Ah, an allusion to what's her face and that bobbly-headed guy from Coldplay? Being blessed with two plant names myself, I sent a resounding FUCK YOU to those paticularly short-sighted parents on hearing of that one.
It's all about striking the balance between normal and STUPID. My father always cites apocryphal babies named Hashpipe when I accuse him of having given me a "stupid hippie name". I was almost named Zoë (the tréma (I don't know the names of accents in English) being very important), and I think that is a rad name, having a z (that's zed, not zee) in it and all.
We've decided on Hero Elizabeth for a girl or Adrian Pearson for a boy.
This discussion has suddenly become much more relevant, somehow.
Yay JL! (And Pedro!) Glad tidings, and whatnot. Adrian Pearson's a nice name, but as a Canadian, I find it just evokes Former Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson. This shouldn't be too much of a problem though, unless you have big issues with peacekeeping and Nobel Prizes and stuff. But I must ask, why Hero? No offense intended.
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Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
It's never to late to adopt, or invest in scary technology and grow a baby in a vat of liquid in a lab.
As for the name "Hero" I think you should take a page from the book of crazy spelling for baby names and spell it "Gyro." Then maybe AlohaDawg will eat your baby!
Our closest friends are working on making a baby and my other bestfriend who is getting married in a month and a half has a plan to have a baby in under three years. My guy and I have absolutly no plans for reproducing ever - he has a younger sibling that was born when he was 15, so he's seen his share of poopy, and me, I just don't like the little flesh sacks. But then I have heard that they make good eating: Willie "I'm Hungry for Baby" Nelson can't be wrong! (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/11/14black.html), Swift would be proud!
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As for the name "Hero" I think you should take a page from the book of crazy spelling for baby names and spell it "Gyro." Then maybe AlohaDawg will eat your baby!
Only if you also have some tzatziki sauce.
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Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
Is this an announcement?
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It's all about striking the balance between normal and STUPID. My father always cites apocryphal babies named Hashpipe when I accuse him of having given me a "stupid hippie name". I was almost named Zoë (the tréma (I don't know the names of accents in English) being very important), and I think that is a rad name, having a z (that's zed, not zee) in it and all.
....as a Canadian, I find it just evokes Former Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson. This shouldn't be too much of a problem though, unless you have big issues with peacekeeping and Nobel Prizes and stuff. But I must ask, why Hero? No offense intended.
1) Whenever he meets someone with a hippy name my guy later mutters to me "their parents must hatethem!"
2) I know a pot head I went to university with named her daughter Sativa. Ha. Ha. Ha.
3) I also thought of Lester B. Pearson, but at least he's a not-so-bad guy -it's not like Steven Harper. That'd be oh, so bad!
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Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
Is this an announcement?
Hey, yeah, I was so busy thinking up witty remarks about lamb meat and flatbread that this slipped by me! Spill it!
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Now that you're skinny the desire to expand had become stronger. Interesting.
Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
Is this an announcement?
Yes. Yes, it is.
At least, it's as close as you're going to get.
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Yes. Yes, it is.
At least, it's as close as you're going to get.
Wow, congrats! Hope you don't take the goofing seriously - the names you have there are good 'uns: No use of the word "Moon" or unpronouncable spellings is super important to the later life on mini humans!
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Wow! Many congratulations!
And kiss your old life Goodbye. Heh heh heh.
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Is this an announcement?
Yes. Yes, it is.
At least, it's as close as you're going to get.
Oh my goodness gracious.
Congratulations. I have every confidence that the resulting sprog is going to be Brought Up Right (read: immersed in video games). You know, when you made that oblique comment over in the Father's Day thread, I had the faintest glimmer of suspicion - and then I thought naaaaah. Well. Everyone 'round these parts havin' babies.
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JL, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we all promise not to eat your baby either.
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I promise not to eat your baby too, but beware of AlohaDawg!
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Pedro, you better get your lovin' in now, because after that baby comes you will never have sex again*.
:sperm:
Well, except for that temp from accounting at the office christmas party.
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Yes. Yes, it is.
At least, it's as close as you're going to get.
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
Congrats, JL et Perdo!
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I promise not to eat your baby too, but beware of AlohaDawg!
Time to shut the hell up now with the baby eating jokes.
Thank you.
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oh, um, sorry.
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Not the desire to expand, really -- but at this point I think it's too late to change my mind.
i am so never getting cornrow braid things.
congrats, by the way.
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awwww, CUUUUTTEEEEEEEE.
CUTECUTECUTECUTE.
CUTE.
cute.
I'm really happy for you guys. Congrats!
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oh, um, sorry.
Two pregnancies means double the good mojo we should be hearing from you mooks.
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Aloha, we were all happy to hear your news - but we are a sick and joking lot and eating baby jokes are of the funniest variety: the truly tasteless variety.
In any case, your offspring and JL's will be of around the same age, which is pretty nifty.
NOW I FEEL PRESSURE TO SQUIRE MY OWN DEMON SEED
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NOW I FEEL PRESSURE TO SQUIRE MY OWN DEMON SEED
oh,
ya,
um,
so, is _that_ what the kids are calling it these days?
i don't want the thoughts in my brain. make them go away. please.
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Joke sickly all you want, just leave me and my children out of it.
Our kid will have a Hawaiian middle name. That will be fun to choose.
Leilani for a girl, maybe. Kalani or Kainoa for a boy.
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Wow.
Congrats!
Both of you. Three of you. Four of you... You know what I mean!
Now the question is, do I go and read Calvin and Hobbes and start coming round to the idea of having kids, so I can be happy for you guys properly, or just pretend like I'm infertile like I always hope!
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So I'm curious, who all has kids or are about to have kids?
Don't panic if I add you by accident - I'm thinking
August, Carlos, Limmo, Asherdan, Me, and Jamie. Who'd I miss?
Feel free to split this to a new thread, I'm too lazy.
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I have more kids than any of you this week. I am teaching zoo summer camp to K-1 students. Oh my. (Must... not... make... childeating... jokes....) Other than that, I found that raising a puppy was the limit of my nurturing ability. They take nearly as much attention as children, but for a much shorter time, and at least with a puppy you can lock it in a crate and go out for a couple of hours and no one will call Child Services on you.
I am glad that in my stead, such fine individuals are carrying the burden of perpetuating the species.
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Wow, I came into this thread late.
CONGRATULATIONS to all deserving them -- and for the record, all the baby names mentioned on this thread (aside from Rodona Madysyyn) are lovely. Leilani is particularly nice.
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So I'm curious, who all has kids or are about to have kids?
My S.O. and I are non-breeders.
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You're right about me (Us really, I'll give Spouse partial credit too).
We're currently trying to make it happen again.
Trying to make a baby is really fun. The this time?...this time?...this time? suspense seems to stoke the fires, so to speak.
So, even though I am sincere in my nice thoughts for y'all, there is a niggling little ball of jealousy deep down, too.
That whole trying to get pregnant thing...good old, lunch-bucket in hand work-sex. We had to get the ovulation tests and everything - it was a long way from romantic.
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Congrats to JL, Pedro, and Mr. & Mrs. Dawg for spittin' out the little ones. It'll be awhile before I stop hating children enough to have my own (just 1 year of teaching 8th grade left!), but I admire you all for making sure the species is propagated. Na Zdrovia!
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You guys can make your own people. You are unstoppable.
::avoids making the "I, for one, welcome our ..." joke::
Hearty congratulations, backslaps, and polite handshakes to all!
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Congratulations to those on the verge of breakthroughs in the field of micro-human creation.
As far as names are concerned, I was this || close to being named Lemminkainen. Fortunately, concern over my orthodox Jewish grandparents won out and I was given a nice traditional name instead.
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The lady and I are working on Bazmark #2, but it is proving to be much more difficult this time out. Medical technology is not coming through the way it did last time. We're also moving into our first house this summer, and the stress of that is probably contributing to our fertility issues. Sigh.
I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Maybe I'm just brain-tired because Audrey has decided not to sleep this week. She might be getting her molars in.
Congrats to JL and Pedro - it is a good thing you are doing.
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As far as names are concerned, I was this || close to being named Lemminkainen. Fortunately, concern over my orthodox Jewish grandparents won out and I was given a nice traditional name instead.
Lemminkainen. There is a part of me that thinks this is awesome, regardless of my previous thoughts over naming small people after fantasy characters (or roleplaying characters -- but that's an entirely different conversation).
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It's funny how it seems to be real hard to have babies when you want them, but, judging by my coworkers, when you're living fine and fancy free, and you DON'T want babies, all of a sudden thousands of them pop up. I plan on having kids maybe possibly one day, but I'll probably just wait until an unsuspecting neighbor falls asleep, so I can sneak in, ram my ovipositor down their throat and lay my eggs in their chest.
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My breeding days are long over, Thank God. I've had unprotected sex exactly twice in my life. That being said, being a Dad is by far the most coolest thing I ever did and ever shall do.
Someday I'll tell you about the operation that changed everything. A sack of frozen peas is the leading man!
Now I spend my time worrying about college funds. I finish paying my student loans off just in time to start saving for tuition. TANJ.
I think Carlos Casteneda had it right. When you have children, you cut a big chunk out of your inner light/essence/zen/chi/whatever. It takes a huge piece of your life force to create 'em and even more to raise 'em in a decent fashion.
The crazy thing is, it's well worth it. It's more than worth it. It's not even close. Creating people is the best thing you can do. It's hard wired into us in the most fundamental way.
I'm rambling horribly, I know.
The biggest hit is the first one. Life is no longer about you, it's about her. The strange thing is that this huge sacrifice is perfectly OK. It's wonderful. It's a foregone conclusion that your entire consciousness shifts to supporting and pleasing this new person.
When the second one hits, you think you've got a handle on it, but you don't. The trappings are the same, as is the emotional response. The kid's got the same genetic material. Thing is, she's completely different from the first one. New body, new face, entirely new personality.
And from there you just do the best you can. They ask hard hard hard questions and shit. It's a tough job raising kids. People go nuts doing it. Here's what gives me comfort -- My parents did it and they're reasonably fucked up. I have to believe that I turned out OK. If they can do it, so can we.
If you are committed to doing it right, it's a shitload of work. If you're not committed to doing it right, please don't have a baby. Funny thing is, it's entirely worth it. It's the hugest committment you'll ever make. Bigger than a mortgage even. It changes your lives completely and it creates a brand new life from scratch. That's deep, man, deep.
But when that kid read his first words, you'll know. They'll say something precocious and you'll know. They'll want to learn how to cook and you'll know. A thousand times a day, you will know that you were put on this planet to propagate the species.
My deepest, deepest congratulations. Love and strength to you. Please forgive my drunken attempts at wisdom.
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I'll probably just wait until an unsuspecting neighbor falls asleep, so I can sneak in, ram my ovipositor down their throat and lay my eggs in their chest.
...but relax folks, he's not an alien!
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a lot of really honest and sensible things about becoming / being a parent
Amen. I just wish everyone approached the Task with this level of joy and reverence.
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I'll probably just wait until an unsuspecting neighbor falls asleep, so I can sneak in, ram my ovipositor down their throat and lay my eggs in their chest.
...but relax folks, he's not an alien!
First off, we're losers because we're awake at 5:20 am (or 1:21 am my time) and NOT bumpin' uglies with the fliest of the ladies. But we are ALSO losers because we love Mike Nelson. Cry with me, Zart. CRY.
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a lot of really honest and sensible things about becoming / being a parent
Amen. I just wish everyone approached the Task with this level of joy and reverence.
I have to admit that the first one was a surpsise; we briefly considered naming her Orth-Novum and we were no where near ready or in a place to have kids. Taking into account everything the ever wise and slightly inebriated avuncular August West said, I would add one more thing which I firmly believe: If you are a couple and you are waiting until you are 'ready' to have children, trust me, you will never be ready. And if you want children and the rest of your life is reasonably in order, have them. You will organize your life to make it good for children and in the process, it will be good for you, too. I was broke and kind of a shitty person until she came along, she changed everything and all she had to do was BE.
It's pretty awesome how it works out that way.
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Where the hell is it 5:30 AM? The middle of the Atlantic Ocean? I think your calculations got screwed up while you were depositing your seed sacks into a neighbour's abdomen.
Oh Jesus, oh sweet fuck*ng baby Jesus what has this thread come to. Oh dear sweet lord baby Jesus on the handlebars of the swingset...
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Hey man, chill out. Go have a kid or something.
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If you are committed to doing it right, it's a shitload of work. If you're not committed to doing it right, please don't have a baby. Funny thing is, it's entirely worth it.
You see, I can kind of understand that it would be that great, but at the same time, I am just so bad at dealing with my own life, and I am the laziest and worst procrastinator of all time, so I just reckon that it would be a bad idea to get myself into a situation where there's no real test.
I definitely agree with you on the morons not having kids issue though. I mean for fuck's sake, are 16 year olds more fertile than 26 year olds?
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I'll probably just wait until an unsuspecting neighbor falls asleep, so I can sneak in, ram my ovipositor down their throat and lay my eggs in their chest.
...but relax folks, he's not an alien!
Dammit I wanted to be the first to post that!
That'll learn me to get a good night's sleep before work.
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i just have to mention that my favorite words to hear, ever, are:
"hey, i started my period today."
it's like god reaching down and saying "you have two more weeks to turn in your term paper." only, the term paper is THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! and the two weeks may vary.
um. ya.
but i agree with aloha, in that i know i'm _never_ going to be "ready", but there's a difference between ready and "ready" and _ready_, know what i mean?
if i'm eatng ramen to survive i'm not ready.
if i go out drinking every night i'm not "ready".
if i just don't know if it's the right time, and wouldn't it be nice to be able to go on vacation anytime we want, and will the cat do "things" to the baby, and, and, etc, et al i'm not _ready_.
if i wake up in cold sweats at 3:30AM screaming, wailing, and crying from Cold, Hard, Fear, i am, apparently, ready for children.
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This thread split DUE TO PUNISHMENT.
Sorry I was AWOL yesterday; I was caught in a storm of familial goodwill and having food thrust towards me. At any rate, thanks to all who offered their goodwill and advice. I have a feeling we'll need all of it.
And super-good vibes to Aloha and Mrs. Dawg; we're expecting our little monkey of joy at the end of February (I'll be huge on my next birthday) so there's a reasonable chance that they could be born on the same day!
As for specific comments:
Adrian Pearson is Pedro's real name, so that one's not up for negotiation. We will call him Pearce to avoid the "big-Adrian, little-Adrian" yoke.
Hero is one of the lead female characters in Much Ado about Nothing. We're not Shakespeare freaks or anything, but I ran across the name in college and I adore that which it represents. It's quite clearly feminine (in this context; I'm aware that in Japanese it's masculine), but it's a very strong name, and seems to indicate courageous behaviour and a noble spirit. We picked it out quite a while ago, and paired it with Elizabeth because we recognize that our daughter may not want an uncommon name by the time she's thirteen, so she can choose to go by her middle name (or some permutation thereof) if she likes.
Re: the comment in the Father's Day thread, I honestly didn't know at the time. I found out yesterday morning at 5 AM.
Re: lunch-bucket in hand work-sex -- Pedro and I have been trying for over a year now, so we're *tired*. What finally worked was being diagnosed as infertile (oddly enough) and me going on fertility drugs. So pray I'm not having a litter, OK?
This was my first month on the drugs, and they usually take 4 - 6 months of treatment to make sperm meet egg. So give Pedro's guys a round of applause; they're some good swimmers, those guys. Our kids will probably grow up to be Olympic gold medalists, with sperms like that making up half their DNA.
We also need house-selling vibes. We have our new place all picked out, but we can't move on it until we sell this one. So pray for a quick sale, 'cause I don't want to be moving in with my in-laws while I'm throwing up and craving Chinese food. (Who am I kidding, I'm *always* craving Chinese food!) Also, keep your fingers crossed on the vomiting thing -- no morning sickness yet, knock on wood.
And finally, all you non-breeders, don't worry. We won't let the earth's population die out. We're hoping for four kids. (Just not all at once, please!)
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Title: Den Mother-to-be (very cute)
Location: In delicate condition
Sig: all knocked up and nowhere to go
Mmm... subtle. ;)
I am so happy you're so happy. :D
:woohoo:
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Prospective names for next bebbie:
Boy - Paul Robert
Girl - Madeline Rose
We're sticking with familial names - reuse never hurt nothin'.
Especially not with classy names like that. In a world of Braedens and Dakotas, the world needs a few more Pauls.
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Where the hell is it 5:30 AM? The middle of the Atlantic Ocean? I think your calculations got screwed up while you were depositing your seed sacks into a neighbour's abdomen.
Haha, damned if I know, man, that's what YOUR website gives my post time as.
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Ah, yes. The server time is in GMT. You can adjust for your time zone in your profile.
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If you are committed to doing it right, it's a shitload of work. If you're not committed to doing it right, please don't have a baby. Funny thing is, it's entirely worth it.
You see, I can kind of understand that it would be that great, but at the same time, I am just so bad at dealing with my own life, and I am the laziest and worst procrastinator of all time, so I just reckon that it would be a bad idea to get myself into a situation where there's no real test.
I definitely agree with you on the morons not having kids issue though. I mean for fuck's sake, are 16 year olds more fertile than 26 year olds?
I don't know about age, but poverty, common sense and level of responsibility sure seem to have an inverse relationship to fertility.
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My little bit of jealousy was short lived. I just found out I can let it go.
Really?
How do you do that? Because I've never been able to.
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I mean for fuck's sake, are 16 year olds more fertile than 26 year olds?
Well, yeah, they are. It's really not fair.
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I follow the "If it means that much to you get one of your own" theory.
Is that an announcement?
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I follow the "If it means that much to you get one of your own" theory.
Oh, I see. You were really meaning "envy" and I asked about jealousy.
My bad.
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So many expectant parents on this board! Way to go all! Spread your legs in the air, and wave 'em like you just don't care! w00t! Congrats to all!!
My SO and I are close friends with another couple who must get pregnant in the next month or so, as the lady in this coupling will be having major heart surgery next year that will make it not safe for her to have children after that point. She's had a pacemaker since childhood. So we've got our fingers and toes crossed. Everytime we talk to them, we hope for news, but it's very impolite to be always asking if there has been success "So, you two knocked up yet or what?"-they've got enough stress as it is!
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So many expectant parents on this board!!
Yeah, this is really starting to make me nervous.
('Specially since I'm a lot closer to 16 than 26...)
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Everytime we talk to them, we hope for news, but it's very impolite to be always asking if there has been success "So, you two knocked up yet or what?"-they've got enough stress as it is!
Truer words never spoken. We're trying for #2 and having an extremely hard time of it, so everytime someone launches the question at us, I feel the urge to beat them soundly about head and shoulders.
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You're right about me (Us really, I'll give Spouse partial credit too).
We're currently trying to make it happen again.
Trying to make a baby is really fun. The this time?...this time?...this time? suspense seems to stoke the fires, so to speak.
So, even though I am sincere in my nice thoughts for y'all, there is a niggling little ball of jealousy deep down, too.
My little bit of jealousy was short lived. I just found out I can let it go.
That is most, most excellent. Congratulations!
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Everytime we talk to them, we hope for news, but it's very impolite to be always asking if there has been success "So, you two knocked up yet or what?"-they've got enough stress as it is!
Truer words never spoken. We're trying for #2 and having an extremely hard time of it, so everytime someone launches the question at us, I feel the urge to beat them soundly about head and shoulders.
Totally, we're worrying for them, but we've not asked once if they've had success, people just gotta understand that once folks are pregnant, they'll be shouting it from the rooftop.
Anyways, best of luck, Limmo! And enjoy the ride!
pun fully intended.
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Congratulations! Although I personally also hope that reading this board is not some kind of fertility enhancer... someone's gotta carry on the species and you are are a fine candidate.
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Congratulations, Asherdan and family! And best of luck to your friends, side_show. I hope things work out for them.
comments about hoping the board is not a fertility enhancer seconded, though. I want kids eventually, but that's a fairly distant eventually.
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]Truer words never spoken. We're trying for #2 and having an extremely hard time of it, so everytime someone launches the question at us, I feel the urge to beat them soundly about head and shoulders.
Ah, the joy of "Chore Sex" at Casa di Limmo. It took us six months, I hope for quicker results for you. Ovulation test kits will help, make the investment.
As for sideshow's friend...one month to conceive? That's statistically a pretty tough one. Best of luck, though...
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Jough: Yep, my language skills failed me but you made up for it with your skill of reading for intent rather than content.
Smells: You're doing the right thing in this case, and it's a good thing, too.
Limmo: Good luck and 'nuff said. You're dead on about the pressure aspect, it's for the no (beatings division).
ALL: T'anks!
Addendum: Spouse is convinced that she is bearing the Girl addition. How in jeezely-crow does that work?!? (I just root for healthy)
ALSO: I will be 55 by the time this one graduates HS, rolling the calendar forward that far means that I will own at embarrasing Child with my unhip-ness.
Conrats! I will be 55 when number two graduates, too. We can hike our ##### up to our nipples and talk fiber. My spouse has had a dream that she is carrying a man-cub and I have the same suspicion, but there is an ultrasound in 3 weeks to let us know.
We're at 16 weeks this week. Rebecca (#1) is at her last day of pre-school today and starts Kindergarten after Labor Day.
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Addendum: Spouse is convinced that she is bearing the Girl addition. How in jeezely-crow does that work?!? (I just root for healthy)
100% wishful thinking, and the desire to refer to baby as anything other than "it". Tell her that the following so-called "signs" mean nothing:
Fast heartrate (160bpm) = girl FALSE
Severe morning sickness = girl FALSE
Acne = girl FALSE
More/darker body hair = boy FALSE
Craving sweets = girl, Craving salty snacks = boy FALSE
Carrying low = boy, carrying high = girl FALSE
Also, if anyone tries to tell you that if your wife raises her arms above her head it could cause the cord to wrap around the baby's neck, LAUGH IN THEIR FACE and take note of their foolishness so you can avoid putting them in positions of responsibility.
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ALSO: I will be 55 by the time this one graduates HS, rolling the calendar forward that far means that I will own at embarrasing Child with my unhip-ness.
My father turned 56 a few weeks after I graduated from high school, and so I can assure you that parental hipness doesn't depend on age, but rather on factors like the music listened to by said parent, whether or not parent once smoked pot or engaged in other vaguely countercultural things, and, of course, number of questions asked as to child's whereabouts/associates.
I'm sure you'll be a plenty hip parent.
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Ah, the joy of "Chore Sex" at Casa di Limmo. It took us six months, I hope for quicker results for you. Ovulation test kits will help, make the investment.
Oh, the lady and I are looooong past the point where physical contact between us is part of the conception process. We are on to the more Aldous Huxley-ish methods of conception. They are horrifically expensive, and when they don't work? Ah, the nights of sadness at Casa di Limmo....
ALSO: I will be 55 by the time this one graduates HS, rolling the calendar forward that far means that I will own at embarrasing Child with my unhip-ness.
That's part of your job as a parent. I'm so looking forward to being able to say to Audrey "Of course I'm embarrassing you! I'm your father!"
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Addendum: Spouse is convinced that she is bearing the Girl addition. How in jeezely-crow does that work?!? (I just root for healthy)
100% wishful thinking, and the desire to refer to baby as anything other than "it". Tell her that the following so-called "signs" mean nothing:
Fast heartrate (160bpm) = girl FALSE
Severe morning sickness = girl FALSE
Acne = girl FALSE
More/darker body hair = boy FALSE
Craving sweets = girl, Craving salty snacks = boy FALSE
Carrying low = boy, carrying high = girl FALSE
Also, if anyone tries to tell you that if your wife raises her arms above her head it could cause the cord to wrap around the baby's neck, LAUGH IN THEIR FACE and take note of their foolishness so you can avoid putting them in positions of responsibility.
I never heard any of this stuff during our first pregnancy nor this far in our second. This is starting to support my previously unscientifically founded beliefs about the deep south.
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Ah, the joy of "Chore Sex" at Casa di Limmo. It took us six months, I hope for quicker results for you. Ovulation test kits will help, make the investment.
Oh, the lady and I are looooong past the point where physical contact between us is part of the conception process. We are on to the more Aldous Huxley-ish methods of conception. They are horrifically expensive, and when they don't work? Ah, the joy of serious depression and anger at Casa di Limmo.
I'm pulling for Joy, Hope, and Expectation in the near future for you.
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Yerk. My sympathies, Limmo; that has to be a pretty emotionally draining process all around.
As for "hip parents," my folks both turned 55 this year, and they've been pretty hip as these things go. (Albeit, at times, they've been almost too hip; I've had a lot of lectures about how I Shouldn't Waste My Undergraduate Experience Like My Father Did, and when I came home at Christmas my freshman year they asked me eagerly if I'd gotten drunk yet, which is fairly surreal. Also my mother went through a phase of urging me to try the campus online dating service, despite my SOed-ness, which was just kind of creepy.)
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I never heard any of this stuff during our first pregnancy nor this far in our second. This is starting to support my previously unscientifically founded beliefs about the deep south.
Your attitudes toward the deep south are probably justified, however the kind of goofy magical thinking such as I described above is extremely widespread. I've been spending an unfortunate amount of time on the boards for a pregnancy site and the items I cited above are some of the least-stupid things that some of these cows believe.
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Hah! 44 when my 2d graduates from high school. Unfortunately, as you are all aware, I am not a hip parent. Luckily, the kids are pretty geeky too.
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As for sideshow's friend...one month to conceive? That's statistically a pretty tough one. Best of luck, though...
Actually, they've been trying since the beginning of summer, but they're down to around 10 months before she has to have her heart surgery at this point, so it's now or never.
As for me, I do the "not pregnant dance" for my SO every month when I get my period. In fact we both dance. I'm totally happy for the breeders on the board, but I hope I won't be joining your club, or if I do, maybe in 10 years.
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As for me, I do the "not pregnant dance" for my SO every month when I get my period. In fact we both dance. I'm totally happy for the breeders on the board, but I hope I won't be joining your club, or if I do, maybe in 10 years.
Non-breeder high five! ::slap::
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A heartfelt thank-you for your sympathies, all.
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I never heard any of this stuff during our first pregnancy nor this far in our second. This is starting to support my previously unscientifically founded beliefs about the deep south.
Your attitudes toward the deep south are probably justified, however the kind of goofy magical thinking such as I described above is extremely widespread. I've been spending an unfortunate amount of time on the boards for a pregnancy site and the items I cited above are some of the least-stupid things that some of these cows believe.
No doubt posted from AOL and WebTV accounts. Most everyone's allowed to fuck in this great country of ours. Damn shame, too, sometimes.
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Hey, man, Fuckin' ain't the problem. It's Fuckin' Irresponsibly that's the problem.
Condoms, the pill, sex-ed, RU-486, they're all around and most are available to anybody.
Fuckin' Irresponsibly and Abstinence Education tied to The Moral Statutes of Religions are the main causes of the Stupid People of America getting pregnant.
When will they learn. When.
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There are a couple of college-trained public health types here in the office and we were just talking yesterday about Abstinence Education. Having both worked in STD, we're still appalled at the amount of money, including Federal money that goes to making films and developing programs to celebrate abstinence. It's asinine.
I'm not anti-Catholic but in this topic I've got to say that they are so far out of step that it's causing more harm than good.
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Trying to talk living beings into not having sex is like trying to talk them into giving up eating. How can you have such a fundamental misunderstanding of how nature works? None of us would be here today if our ancestors hadn't wanted to have sex, and passed on those sex-liking genes. The urge that gets the species to perpetuate itself will win out over any amount of federal dollars.
Wait, maybe now I get it. They don't get it about abstinence because they don't believe in evolution either?
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Every sprem is sacred, every sperm is good!
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See, I don't tend to blame the Church for this becamse, dogma be damned, I know a lot of Catholics who accept the entire "condoms are a good thing" idea. Hell, I'm dating one.
Besides, to paraphrase from an old editorial: given the number of families these days who are coming to Catholic services with two kids in tow, either the rhythm method works much better than assumed, or people are being reasonable about this.
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Besides, to paraphrase from an old editorial: given the number of families these days who are coming to Catholic services with two kids in tow, either the rhythm method works much better than assumed, or people are being reasonable about this.
You've never been to my church. The average age is 7. I'm not kidding. Most of the families has 4 or 5 kids all under 10. Apparently the concept of zero population growth is lost on these people.
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See, I don't tend to blame the Church for this becamse, dogma be damned, I know a lot of Catholics who accept the entire "condoms are a good thing" idea. Hell, I'm dating one.
Besides, to paraphrase from an old editorial: given the number of families these days who are coming to Catholic services with two kids in tow, either the rhythm method works much better than assumed, or people are being reasonable about this.
Look at the average age of the true decision makers of the Church - do you really think a group of lifetime abstinent, 60+ year old men are going to suddenly have an epiphany about birth control? Better yet, are they going to name among their successors people who don't think the way they do?
C'mon, this is a Church that revoked the first communion of a little girl with Celiac disease because the wafer the priest subsituted for the usual Host was rice and did not contain any wheat, which her body won't tolerate. Dogma is a poor substitute for understanding.
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Dogma is a poor substitute for understanding.
HERE HERE
or is it
HEAR HEAR
or some other combination thereof? anyway, I totally agree.
In terms of belief systems, karma trumps dogma anyday.