The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: V-Adore on August 25, 2004, 03:07:27 am
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Okay, folks, I'm on AIM with Jough. He's safe and sound (if on primitive Internet equipment and thus unable to access the board), and he's looking to see if anyone wants anything from Ireland. The only stipulations are:
* Jough is not wealthy; and
* No alcohol or hashish. (One assumes "anything that would get him in trouble with Customs" also falls in here.)
* Also, make the request within the next nine, ten hours. The clock is ticking.
E-mail requests to jough.dempsey@gmail.com.
Me, I'm askin' for a commemorative spoon.
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Me frosted Lucky Charms.
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Greetings from the Emerald Isle!
The most advanced computer they have in the whole nation is a Pentium I. 200Mhz.
I know high technology is considered a munition and all, but Sweet Jesus Fuck is this a backwards fuck*ng country, technologywise.
Meanwhile, fuck*ng Plagiarist.com is BLOCKED from here. WTF? My countrymen can't access my site?
So here I am, VNCing into my office computer and running the browser through a little remote window. It's amazing that it works at all, of course, but damn just typing one character is so slow that I am writing messages on the local machine, pasting into a text box, and then going out for coffee (which is really GREAT here - who knew?).
Well, I probably won't get to be online again after an hour from now. So I guess requests for cheap swag will have to end around now.
I'll buy some crap to send to anyone who wants something stupid, like a FINE PEWTER LEPRECHAUN or something like a hand towel that says "Guinness" on it or something.
They have green hamburgers for the tourists. fuck*ng tourists.
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I'm selling these fine leather jackets.
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See previous request for commemorative spoon.
My shame is mighty.
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I asked my relations where I could find a "commemorative spoon" and they look at me as though I am insane (which is pretty much par for the course anyway) and say "Commemorating what?"
So what the HELL are you talking about, V?
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(oh my god I cannot believe I am actually doing this)
Haven't you seen these things before? They're these little spoons, in various degrees of chintziness, with little plaques on the handle that show where you got them. They're fairly ubiquitous in tourist traps -- or at least in the tourist traps I frequent, anyway. But if you can't find one, don't worry. I will live without.
(this is the part where I skitter into my lair, cringing, and attempt to wash away my PULSING SHAME)
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I swear I'm not just playing crazy here. I have never seen or at least never noticed such a thing.
I did have a little spoon mounted on a board in my room growing up, with a little metal plaque glued on it that had like, Baby's First Spoon or some dipshit thing engraved on it. It was some kind of idiotic baby shower gift from a distant relative on my mother's side.
I just always assumed it was some kind of Lithuanian tradition or something.
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Fair enough. I assumed it was a fairly commonplace chintz concept, but apparently I am WRONG, HORRIBLY WRONG, MY HOPES DASHED TO THE ROCKS --
Er. Yeah. I have been proven wrong. choke, sob, etc.
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Bring me the Blarney Stone, jough. Aye, aye, aye. It brings a tear to me eye.
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Bring me the Blarney Stone, jough. Aye, aye, aye. It brings a tear to me eye.
Sharpen your boot an' put out yer eye, AYE AYE AYE....
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If you bring me a big bag of ordinary Tetley tea bags, I will totally drop some cash in yonder tip-jar. Apparently those limey barstids keep all the good tea for themselves, while sending their weak, reject, Slightly Irregular teabags across the pond to us.
I know I'm nobody and new on the boards and have already offended Thee with my naked gravid belly, but please?
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V, he's crazy. EVERYONE knows what those spoons are. If you send me your address I'll send you one from Washington DC in consolation.
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It's not that weird of a concept (http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:EWylzabkUiYJ:www.snpp.com/episodes/5F09.html+%22springfield+spoon%22+site:snpp.com&hl=en).
Or just do a google image search.
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I know what you mean, V, one of my friends started ironically collecting those at one point and I bought her some exceedingly repulsive royal family ones in London.
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...then going out for coffee (which is really GREAT here - who knew?).
I've always been a fan of Irish Coffee.
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How about some Irish Spring. (http://www.goddijn.com/soap/sirish.htm)
Good Lord, it's a website full of soap reviews. SOAP REVIEWS for God's sake! The internet is a strange and terrible mistress.
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...and the Irish Spring soap review is by David Lynch. !paos, paoS
The inside (of the box) is not coated with any sort of protectant, which could be a drawback if you intend to store the soap in its original packaging. It's certainly a drawback in my book.
Yeah! Take that Irish Spring! Take That!
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oh my good gravy and shortstack of cakes.
no, it's not David Lynch the Director. It's David Lynch of Louisiville (not sure if he's still there). Officially the only person i "know" (as in "have met and know who they are and at the time they knew who i was") in Kentucky.
If i recall correctly, the soap reviews weren't his "thang" so much as his brother's.
He also had an online "zine" (maybe it was, back then, a blog, before blog was blog) named "jiggy week". Mr. Lynch had a rear naked chinlock on OMFG irony at one point.
but the past is muddier than gas station coffee and the gravy is now cold.
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...and the Irish Spring soap review is by David Lynch. !paos, paoS
Man, if the real (i.e. famous David Lynch) wrote soap reviews, I think I the world would be just about perfect.
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Heh! I submitted this to Fark and it got approved. I am good on the intarweb.
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...and the Irish Spring soap review is by David Lynch. !paos, paoS
Man, if the real (i.e. famous David Lynch) wrote soap reviews, I think I the world would be just about perfect.
LOL, agreed, and thank you for making my day andalucia! And really, the fact that arkabee knows this particular David Lynch, is very, well, Lynchian in and of itself.
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the thing that's oddest about it all to me is,
there seems to be a "large" kentucky contingent on this board.
i remember first reading a bit and then early on i was thinking "damn, i wonder if these people know dave...".
and now, in some weird, sick way, ya'll do. or his brother at least.
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THESE ARE THE DAVES I KNOW, I KNOW
Okay, I am back and while I did not find a spoon that says "IRELAND" on it I did get all sorts of other cheap Irish and British crap to distribute. I mailed most of it back to myself rather than have to smuggle it back on the plane, so once my package arrives, I will be like a UK Santa Claus, all handing out crap and stealing your liquor.
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THESE ARE THE DAVES I KNOW, I KNOW
Okay, I am back and while I did not find a spoon that says "IRELAND" on it I did get all sorts of other cheap Irish and British crap to distribute. I mailed most of it back to myself rather than have to smuggle it back on the plane, so once my package arrives, I will be like a UK Santa Claus, all handing out crap and stealing your liquor.
Dammit Jough! Enough with getting songs stuck in my head.
Note to self: Hide my liquor.
Additional: Also hide my woman.