The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: jough on October 04, 2004, 04:18:37 pm
-
So if one can "self-blumpkin" what is the point? Isn't a blumpkin supposed to be about the humiliation factor?
Can one humiliate oneself?
-
I think that if humiliating oneself sexually is possible, Frankenblumpkin is a likely candidate for successful methods.
-
So if one can "self-blumpkin" what is the point? Isn't a blumpkin supposed to be about the humiliation factor?
Can one humiliate oneself?
I think the Blumpkin is both meant to appease the humiliation factor and offer something of a prostate rub during the sex act. The timing would have to be awfully good though.
-
I think starring in Frankenblumpkin VII is effectively excellent self-embarrassment.
Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*
Also, can anyone run a translation on LN's latest? I get the general gist (Asian kid threatens LN, LN gets him busted) but the words, they fail.
* Onstad seems to be working under the impression that the cashier has some sort of psychotic obsession with the Safeway Discount Card, whereas it's almost certainly more along the lines of "required to shill and get as many converts as possible as part of her job description." Also the 'face like pressed lunch meat' description was particularly tactless.
-
Also, can anyone run a translation on LN's latest? I get the general gist (Asian kid threatens LN, LN gets him busted) but the words, they fail.
i told you before about that guy who tried to knife me. well, tonight he drove by in his rice-mobile while i was at arby's.
he pulled a gun and aimed, but i was videotaping him and he got scared and drove off. i got with uncle ray, and he ran the license plate number (he's friends with the police sergeant). Ray and i have our differences, but we're blood and he was hella bent on revenge.
i went with the police to a safe distance from the guy's house, and i strolled up to make a positive ID. once i'm sure, i let them know.
the police break in while the guys are playing xbox. i mock-shot him with my hand/fingers.
great night. i'm going to go get high.
-
Fuck that azn gangsta wannabe!
a little back y'all I laid it down about how Shirley Pang's old-country boyfriend tried to shank me, straight jumping me at Swensen's! all was down low the last couple weeks, but check it, today I was grufflin' some Arby's and the dude cold rolls up in his ricer!
A few posts ago I related the time when Shirley Pang's immigrant beau attacked me with a knife at Swensen's. Nothing has happened lately, but during lunch at Arby's today he arrived in his Japanese sports car.
purple puss cold aimed a barrel at me, but that ain't no. I yelled "rice boy ready fo' his money shot!?" and pointed. he saw the cam and yelled at his driver out to pull forward, but the camera cold followed them. I gave between-tha-bunzz tongue love to my Big Montana while they tried to dodge the lens. I got the plate and Uncle Ray ran it—he is chum pals with the police sergeant—and he got me their address with full blue backup. Uncle Ray and I got mad different ideas on my days, but blood is blood. he wanna see his LN avenged.
(Gang colors? Epithet?) pointed a gun at me, for which I would not stand. I drew his attention to the security camera and attempted to subvert its gaze, to no avail. While they continued, I returned to my meal and copied their license plate. Uncle Ray has a police officer friend and used the connection to find their address, issuing officers to the scene with me. He and I tend to disagree on how time should be spent, but we are family after all, and Uncle Ray doesn't want anybody to disrespect me.
blue dropped me a couple blocks from this azn's hole-up, and I tiptoe the rest, cold same clothes as lunchtime, kevlar under the K. Malone. I see the civic in question, and I nod to blue, who pull up and cut the gas.
The police let me out surreptisiously a short walk from the boyfriend's address, with a bulletproof vest under the same clothes he had last seen me wear. By the car's presense, I could surmise his, and I alerted the police, who arrive and shut off their engines.
I'm all about a light step up their apartment stairs, and through their window I can see them workin their xbox on a Phillips fiddy. I wave a couple blues up and they bust down the door. I got a good look at the b/j who dry-iced me, and mock-capped him as they dragged him by.
Quietly I crept up the stairs to his apartment and witnessed them playing video games with a Surround Sound system. I gave the go-ahead to some of the cops, who burst into the apartment. As the officers escorted him downstairs, I shot a make-believe gun in his direction.
sweet-ass night, all. gonna puff some dill and consider some ink on the premises, probly that mad band around the bicep, cold initials all worked in.
Have a good night. I'm going to get high and think about getting a tattoo - possibly an armband with my initials in it.
FIN
That's not as easy to put into English as I thought it would be. I'm further impressed at the amount of work that goes into the blogs.
-
Damn you arkabee!
-
Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*
* Onstad seems to be working under the impression that the cashier has some sort of psychotic obsession with the Safeway Discount Card, whereas it's almost certainly more along the lines of "required to shill and get as many converts as possible as part of her job description." Also the 'face like pressed lunch meat' description was particularly tactless.
impression or experience? at this point in my life, i'm suprised to meet check-out people who are either not mixing up a new batch of meth while ringing up my hungryman dinners, or visibly shaking because they spent their SScheck before filling out their Prozac Prescription.
i miss college greatly. i have incredibly fond memories of the attractive people working the counter at the 24/7 food-e-mart.
-
Concepts I have been introduced to via this week's blogs that I did not need to be: the "self-blumpkin" and Onstad ranting about a cashier trying to do her damn job.*
For those of you who have never spent time here in Hawaii: the store discount cards are absolutely critical to survival. Routinely you save 25% on regular shopping. Most retail ventures here have secret "kama`aina" rates (you show your drivers license) which are about half. Everything works this way. The economy generally exists to screw the tourists as much as possible.
-
God bless, Arkabee and Choop. God bless.
-
Damn you arkabee!
you did yours better.
tourism- i have lived in areas wherein the local economy is based upon the petulant offerings of virilently obnoxious vacationers. it sucks.
to look into the eyes of someone who holds you and your environs in contempt, in contempt because it is all only good enough for them to go to get away from the things that drive them mad.
to look into the their eyes and know that you could stuff them into the walk in freezer, but that there certainly would not be enough room back there for all of them.
to this day i have issues with those hailing from chicago and boston. and gigntic pancakes.
-
See around here we just have a concentration of tourist-screwing establishments all concentrated in one area. Once you venture away from it then prices become more reasonable. And in some cases you only have to go a couple blocks.
-
Damn you arkabee!
you did yours better.
tourism- i have lived in areas wherein the local economy is based upon the petulant offerings of virilently obnoxious vacationers. it sucks.
to look into the eyes of someone who holds you and your environs in contempt, in contempt because it is all only good enough for them to go to get away from the things that drive them mad.
to look into the their eyes and know that you could stuff them into the walk in freezer, but that there certainly would not be enough room back there for all of them.
to this day i have issues with those hailing from chicago and boston. and gigntic pancakes.
I like the ones who leave Waikiki to get more local flavor and bitch and complain about how local people are.
Of course, being a haole, I get some shit anyhow. It's interesting from my white male perspective to be a racial minority. Of course, it's a little like post-colonial Africa where the white minority has disproportionate financial and political power, but you know.
-
Do your kids have to deal with "kill haole day"?
-
Haven't experienced that. I know that haole kids in other parts of the island have much more trouble in school than mine will face. The town I live in (Kailua) is the highest concentration of white kids and her elementary school is a charter school in an exclusive beach neighborhood (we don't live there) called Lanikai. (http://www.adrhi.com/lanikai-beach.asp) It's only about 5 miles from our house in Enchanted Lake.
-
That's good.
-
It's only about 5 miles from our house in Enchanted Lake.
We can only pray that Peter Pan continues to keep the nefarious Dr. Hook at bay.
I'm certainly not trying to insult you, Aloha. I just really like the fact that your house is in a place called Enchanted Lake. It would be better if it were Enchanted LAGOON, but what can you do?
-
I am jealous, as I have never lived anywhere even remotely enchanted anything.
The closest thing we have in Philly is Manayunk - which ten years ago was a slum but is now very gay and very "upscale" and all built up with crappy semi-chain yuppie bistros.
-
Dude, Longwood Gardens! It's ENCHANTING AS ALL GET OUT
-
But no one LIVES in Longwood Gardens.
I also find all botanical gardens to be over-rated, but that is only because I don't like plants and trees and stuff.
-
I think this is a great post, but it doesn't seem quite in character for Pat. It's paranoid and all, but not self-righteously surly enough. Good points, good writing, but I didn't believe it came from Pat. This one probably belongs in Chris's blog.
I've pondered this question myself. Why the hell can't you make a stir-fry that comes out like what you get at even the worst Chinese restaurant?
I have a theory. I worked in a Chinese restaurant in college (I was an underaged bartender, it was a hoot.) Here's my guess: Higher heat + MSG + Corn Starch.
Higher Heat: They had those stoves you see on the cooking shows occasionally. The woks fit into a hole that flames shoot up out of. I believe this allows the woks to heat faster and stay hotter. Experience leads me to believe that these conditions lead to higher quality stir-fries.
MSG + Corn Starch: These guys had like a 50 gallon drum of MSG in the kitchen. I think it may have been half MSG and half Corn Starch which would explain how they thicken their sauces.
Everything else about the kitchen was pretty much the same as any other restaurant I ever worked in.
-
Amen to the higher heat. I just bought a Wok cookbook so my stir-frys have started to resemble restaurant stuff.
In a Chinese restaurant they have this jet engine mounted under an iron-lined hole in the stove. A normal commercial restaurant stove makes something like 18,000 BTUs on average where your home gas stove maxes out at 12,000. On the other hand, Thermador makes a wok 'Jet burner' for commercial kitchens that makes 150,000 BTUs.
Flash cooking things is much easier with that heat; also in a chinese restaurant they have such incredibly seasoned woks (from daily use) that nothing sticks and everything cooks perfectly. I've been using my wok for 7 years and only over the past year or two has it finally developed enough seasoning to really make cooking in it fun.
Funny story: we used to go to this Chinese place in Morton Grove, IL on Dempster St. We would eat there and the food was good. Then we realized that the Chinese people who ate there (we saw very few non-Chinese eating there) ordered off a completely different menu that was all in Chinese, and their food looked different too. Unusual vegetables and dare I say unidentifiable animal products.
Pat - you may not WANT to know. STAY OFF THE BEACH, PAT!
-
I think this is a great post, but it doesn't seem quite in character for Pat. It's paranoid and all, but not self-righteously surly enough.
Pat has been quiet lately, holed up with a pair of hyperextended knees. Who knows what's been going through his mind. In Pat's room, it might well have been two months' worth of that bedroom scene in Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen flips out and cuts himself on things.
Also, I aspire to create a character as perfect as Dale Gribble.
-
Alton mentioned the heat thing on his squid episode. He recommended the burner from a turkey friar since it produces more heat than a home stove.
I eat a an indian place all the time and they'll let anybody order off-menu. Or at least they let regulars, even if we are pasty white.
-
I've been eating at a local Korean restaurant so often that the waiter started suggesting off menu items to me that he thought I might like. Just when I got in his good graces, they moved him to nights and hired a new lunchtime waitstaff which won't even bring me the Korean tea without warning me that it isn't like normal Iced Tea.
At least they put out new menus this week that have a lot of the off menu items listed now.
-
Also, I aspire to create a character as perfect as Dale Gribble.
I think you've created at least two and possibly three.
-
Who in the world is Dale Gribble?
-
Who in the world is Dale Gribble?
He's the UN hatin' exterminator who lives near Hank in King of the Hill (http://www.wvah.com/programs/kingofthehill/DaleGribble.shtml).
-
I had to google that one myself. Not really a KotH fan, although I've seen it and the Dale character is hilarious.
-
I'm a fan of Boomhower myself. But that is an excellent ensemble of cartoon men.
John Redcorn doesn't get enough storylines.
-
Isn't Dale the one who mumbles half the time and talks very fast?
-
Dale is the conspiracy theorist with the half-Indian son he thinks is his. He drives a truck with a huge dead roach on top. He always wears a red ball cap.
Boomhower mumbles a lot; intersperses the phrase 'dang ol' between subjects and predicates and suffers from a crippling inability to verbalize any clauses. Every sentence ends in "I tell you what". No headwear but a fine head of blond hair.
Bill Dautreve is a military barber with little hair of his own. Generally a bumbling romantic who goes along with the group. He has a thing for Peggy.
-
Dale is the conspiracy theorist with the half-Indian son he thinks is his. He drives a truck with a huge dead roach on top. He always wears a red ball cap.
Actually, I believe it's a queen ant.
-
He wears a queen ant?
-
Jeez, catch a context clue, bub. On top of his van.
-
I think you guys are looking for jough's KotH board.
-
Dale is the conspiracy theorist with the half-Indian son he thinks is his. He drives a truck with a huge dead roach on top. He always wears a red ball cap.
Actually, I believe it's a queen ant.
Upon further reflection, I think you're right.
Whatever it is, it's upside down and has x's for eyes.
-
Dale is the conspiracy theorist with the half-Indian son he thinks is his. He drives a truck with a huge dead roach on top. He always wears a red ball cap.
Actually, I believe it's a queen ant.
Upon further reflection, I think you're right.
Whatever it is, it's upside down and has x's for eyes.
A bug on top of a exterminators van has no business having anything but x's for eyes.
-
it's CAT
the chinese food tastes weird because it's CAT
-
it's CAT
the chinese food tastes weird because it's CAT
ya know when you go to yr local discount/po' folk/white trash grocery store and you pick up some 10 lb. bag o' "chicken chunklets"?
that shit is basically fried cat abortions.
how cute are kittens now, bitch?
-
Wait, what, how did the thread get to this?
-
Locked due to frickin' DRIED CAT ABORTIONS, also the week is basically over now anyway.