The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: Pedro Picasso on October 13, 2004, 07:30:43 pm
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I post this against my better judgement. Because really, what has my better judgement done for me recently? Huh? That's right. Nothing.
WARNING: What follows is a recipe for disaster. Do not do this unless you want to see a relatively disturbing image of a masculine member. This is not safe for work. This is not for small or even medium children.
Step 1: Go to images.google.com.
Step 2: Turn Safe Search off.
Step 3: Search for "dragon c*ck" (without quotation marks).
Step 4: Look at the first two results.
Step 6: Discuss.
Step 4.5 is "Shudder.", and Step 7 is "Avoid calling me the c*ck man. I get enough of that at work."
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Wow, that must have hurt like a bitch. Bets that alcohol and/or a bet were involved in that particular decision-making process?
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I can't imagine that the decision to do that was anything other than well thought out. That is not the sort of thing one does on a dare.
Unfortunately, I have seen much much worse.
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JL brought up an interesting point in conversation. Wouldn't his soldier have to be at attention in order to recieve this particular decoration? How would that work? Would drugs necessarily have to be involved?
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What, so I gotta be the one to ask?
Pedro, what the hell were you doing at work searching for "dragon c*ck" on Google images?
Is it because of a problem?
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I was on NCSU's message board thingy The Wolf Web (http://www.thewolfweb.com). I browse through the college students' photos for amusing or attractive images. I found the dragon. I showed it to JL. Later she recommended I post it. I said that wouldn't be a good idea. I'm 'c*ck-man' to enough people, I don't need that reputation here. She rattled off four or five predicted responses from the denizens of this board and generally lulled me into thinking that posting this would make me a god among men. I told her there was no way I'd find it again. To prove it, I did the above image search. When it worked, I had to post it. Damn Google and all their helpful ways.
Predictably, I blame the wife.
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Step 1a: Close dorm room door.
Jesus. If you click the first link, the rest of the page that it's on is actually worse. The c*ck in question is just sort of geeky, because it's obviously something you'd have to warn someone about before you got your ##### off. Unless you were just known around town as the dragon c*ck guy, which is probably a lot worse.
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I'm 'c*ck-man' to enough people, I don't need that reputation here.
Fear not; I will forever be known as Bozack. I think the best forum moment was when I spoke to JL on her birthday, and she just said, "Bozack?"
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Whee!
I'm so glad you posted this, Pedro. And I'm glad Jough responded precisely as predicted. I believe the exact phrase I used yesterday was "Snarkily amused."
Also, leave it to V to take the academic approach. :wink:
You guys never let me down.
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Whee!
I'm so glad you posted this, Pedro. And I'm glad Jough responded precisely as predicted. I believe the exact phrase I used yesterday was "Snarkily amused."
Also, leave it to V to take the academic approach. :wink:
You guys never let me down.
I think I may have been insufficiently ambivalent, but ah well. I will try harder next time to have no particular opinion!
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Ouch. Ooh. Ow. Aaargh.
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Yeah, come to think of it, I'm pretty glad not to have much in the way of a concrete idea of how much that would hurt.
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They say it hurts the closer to the bone it is...
Sorry.
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I can see Pat, all riding his (relatively) recent ab-tastic physical reinvention, doing this, only maybe something like Yggdrasil as opposed to a garden variety dragon ("The popular conception of dragons is a JOKE!" as a possible blog header).
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I can see Pat, all riding his (relatively) recent ab-tastic physical reinvention, doing this, only maybe something like Yggdrasil as opposed to a garden variety dragon ("The popular conception of dragons is a JOKE!" as a possible blog header).
I ended up having to Google that, and it took me to a series of articles at pantheon.org which read like a Who's Who of Final Fantasy Beings with Grotesquely Long Animation Sequences That You Can't Skip.
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Yoicks. Yeah, that would make for some interesting dialogue when removing one's pantaloons with a new friend for the first time.
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A dude who has the Cock Dragon isn't going to keep that bad boy locked away inside of P@NTS! He's going to fashion trousers in a way that will allow the dragon to roam free, breathing fire here and there.
He could do a cock puppet show... you know, for kids.
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allow the dragon to roam free, breathing fire here and there.
Man, what kind of surgery would you need to have that work? A very delicate apparatus involving kerosene and sparking mechanisms? I cannot picture it ending well.
(It occurs now that you may have meant metaphorical "fire," in which case, ew.)
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JL and I were up early early this morning. We stopped by a Multinational Conglomerate Meat Products Station and had breakfast meats. On the way out, she noticed someone had posted a meat commentary on their sign. I thought it would make a wonderful addition to this thread.
(http://www.x-omega.com/current/nicec*cksign.jpg)
Thanks clock-modem-camera-beeper-web browser-address book-phone-calculator-notepad-recorder-jukebox! And thank your three modes!
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For similar reasons, the local Burger Kings quickly stopped using the letter-swappable signs to advertise their Angus Beef Burgers. It was too readily altered by the mischievous.
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I just noticed something. Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, read the first entry in the text version of the above search. No good could possibly come of it.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
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It was too readily altered by the mischievous.
Those darn mischievous!
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I just noticed something. Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, read the first entry in the text version of the above search. No good could possibly come of it.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
You know "warn" pretty much translates directly into "dare", dammit.
SO THANKS FOR ALL 13K OF THAT
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HOTT DRAG0N S3XXX!!!
The dragon watched the struggling lump that was the woman
slide down his throat and disappear into his body, then closed his
eyes in pleasure as he felt the frantic twitching slowly fade
within him. An interesting creature, he thought to himself,
licking his lips to get the last traces of cum, I shall have to
find more of them!
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Ah, it's always such a precious day in every message board's life when someone first discovers lame-ass vore porn. (I remember it myself, albeit not fondly for complicated and unpleasant reasons.)
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Ah, it's always such a precious day in every message board's life when someone first discovers lame-ass vore porn. (I remember it myself, albeit not fondly for complicated and unpleasant reasons.)
The fact that there is a casual short form for it freaks me out most.
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(I remember it myself, albeit not fondly for complicated and unpleasant reasons.)
.......I can see one unpleasant reason why you might not want to read about dragons getting jerked off; namely, DRAGONS GETTING JERKED OFF.
But unicorns are still hot. (http://chrismullins.net/unicorns.htm)
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Ah, it's always such a precious day in every message board's life when someone first discovers lame-ass vore porn. (I remember it myself, albeit not fondly for complicated and unpleasant reasons.)
The fact that there is a casual short form for it freaks me out most.
There's an entire subculture of this stuff! I occasionally make forays into it, when properly hazmat-suited and carrying a taser gun, and it scares the living shit out of me. I mean, WTF?
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OKAY PEOPLE
this thread is officially weak and to that end I present you with something
FAR WORSE THAN DRAGON DICK (http://www.whowantsdonuts.com/obscene/horrifying-worm.jpg)
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Holy. fuck*ng. Crap.
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Holy. fuck*ng. Crap.
I feel like I am killing the innocence of this forum.
:twisted:
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It works!
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It works!
That is a mental image that I did not need.
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It works!
That is a mental image that I did not need.
Far worse is an obviously plastered jough giving a blow-by-blow update over the phone to a terrified Butterball hotline operator.
no sir i would not want to try it, using the gizzard