The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: side_show on November 04, 2004, 10:11:17 pm
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Hi all,
Why, oh, why do my parents have super-fast-ultra-hyperspeed internet, when all the computer is used for is my dad playing solitaire, and me with no connection? The only thing I miss about my desk job for Mastercard is you people and your funnies. And now Onstad's here. What the hell people!
Life is super awesome right now, I've recently turned down a promotion at my job at the Manitoba Theatre for Young People, but only because I got a super huge grant to write the play I've been researching for the past two years!! Yay to the Manitoba Arts Council! Also I just finished directing two plays where the playwrights flew in from other provences to see them, and they were all crying for joy and giving me the hugs.
And my mom just brough me a cup of coco.
Needless to say I have no regrets for leaving the financial industry. I'll be re-hooked up to the net real soon. And props to all. Props to all in the house. w00t, w00t!
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Rock it Old School-style, side_show!
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Whoa, hot chocolate and creative fulfillment!
Yay!
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Awesome! Congratulations on the grant and the happiness and the cocoa, side_show. I hope you'll tell us all about the play when next your internet connection is stable.
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that is so awesome that you get the opportunity to write your play in such a fashion!
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I'm glad to be able to use my 2000th post to congratulate you!
Now, write good.
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Indeed! Hearetiest congratulations, and hope it all goes well for you, and look forward to seeing you back around here more permanently.
Good stuff!
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Awe, gee thanks folks.
I woke up in the night, cold sweat, and lying there trying to write my play out and remember it in my head while in a waking dream state, then I puked in rainbow colours this morning. Had a yelling arguement that envolved soya sauce exploding all over my housecoat as I slammed cupboard doors, yelling at my man that his pathetic stoner friend can not stay with us in our house! "God damn it I'm supposed to be writing!" I'm all like Beef these days, where even good news like this makes me all nervous and shifty. I really need to take up yoga to decompress. My body hasn't accepted that I'm in a happy place now and still wake me up in the middle of the night for a "now it's time to worry" session, even though I no longer have much to worry about.
I'm at work right now tho. I have a buck-tooth sock puppet that I made above my desk.
Must get back to it.
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I'm all like Beef these days, where even good news like this makes me all nervous and shifty. I really need to take up yoga to decompress.
I know the feeling. I too have been considering doing something like Yoga, though I think having just read Pattern Recognition (cheers again Bozack, it kicked serious ass!) I might try pilates, as the main character reckoned needing to concentrate so helps to calm the mind as well. I am not entirely in that good place yet, but I have possibilities of getting there, all of which I feel too stressed to really concentrate on and achieve properly at the moment.
I reinstated the rhino atop my monitor.
Oh, and yea, sofa guy is never a good thing!
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I am not entirely in that good place yet, but I have possibilities of getting there, all of which I feel too stressed to really concentrate on and achieve properly at the moment.
In spite of my whining - go for it, just go.
I reinstated the rhino atop my monitor.!
Did I mention that Bucky is wearing a feather boa also?
Oh, and yea, sofa guy is never a good thing!
No, and this particular sofa guy nearly ruined my life earlier. The deal was I was moving in with my boyfriend as this guy was moving out - moving out of town, but then, I moved in and he still handn't moved out, or packed anything, and being so very slothful, it took him almost a month to do so (never, of course paying any rent), and he left still having packed nothing, leaving everything behind, a left a mess so bad behind - (we're talking a deep fryer full of rancid greese, a futon covered in scary stains, dishes piled so high the counter could not be seen) that I refused to use the kitchen for nearly three months after he left, and tip toed around fearing I'd step on something that I'd need to get a tetanus shot against. My SO was basically living in my apartment, never spending any time other than the occasional sleep in his place with couch guy, so I basically had no idea of the state of the other place, only knowing it was in a really great area and that it was a frikken huge apartment. During the time of the overlap I repeatedly asked sofa guy to pack up to a "why would I do that?" response, and my SO being spineless and not enforcing the need for couch guy to pack up/clean up his mess before leaving. The day couch guy left I was at work, and came home stunned to see he'd left everything but his clothes. I spent 3 months, basically every free hour after work, with my SO packing and cleaning up sofa guys mess.
We have since moved to a new home, and I, rather than disposing of couch guy's belongings, put them in our old building's storage locker and told him to get them out ASAP as we no longer lived there and technically the landlord could trash his stuff at any point. He then left his stuff in the building for over a year, tried to convince my SO to move it all into OUR basement, and when I refused, had my SO and his truck move the stuff to his brother's place across town.
The rule is, and has always been: No couch guy, no matter what.
Somehow my SO seems to keep forgetting this. It's called selective hearing. I made the mistake of saying that I was "starting to warm up to couch guy" - meaning "I no longer want to gouge out his eyes." and my SO took this to mean "open the flood gates, couch guy can now live on our couch!" I know couch guy is my SO's stoner buddy, and I don't say anything like "no, you can't be friends with him," although he is a spongy jerk. Just no couch guy on our couch. Ever. Ever.
The moral of the story: Couch guy is fun to spend an evening with. He can make a bong out of a halloween pumpkin and an old tube for an aquarium, but never, ever live with couch guy. No matter how laid back you are, he will make you feel like an anal loser for cleaning up the week old cat vomit in the hall or whipping the piss stains off the toilet seat. It's like having a pet Gremilin - seems like a fun idea, but is horribly ill advised.
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Sounds to me like your SO needs to choose between Sofa guy and you.
I've seen this scenario. It's bad every time.
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Ack.
Yea.
Horrible personal story time everybody...
I went temporarily, completely insane for a while a few years back. Basically because I was trying to ignore my illness and be 'normal', when I moved in with my girlfriend who had just recovered from lymphoma. Plus my doctors refused to do anything to help me out. But anyway, I just lost the plot and spent a good year where I was on no control of my life, and during that year, couch guy happened.
He is a good guy, and is still one of my closest friends, and he has sorted his life out too - being engaged and all. But, what with being insane, and couch guy being around, the relationship soured and ended.
That was, unfortunately, the epiphany I needed, and I kind of, awoke, to discover someone had fucked up my life. I am now close friends again with that ex, and I can't help but know that it was no one's fault but mine, despite how messed up I was. She doesn't hold any of it against me, as she knows this, but I can't forgive myself for losing her, as to be honest, if I could go back and sort one thing in my life out, it would be that relationship. Ugh!
So basically, yea, it sounds like he has to choose. And my advice is to just get round to it, as couch guy needs to sort himself out as much as you two need rid of him.
Good luck!
Any similarity between any persons in real life, and characters portrayed here, are purely coincidental. Honest!!!!
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Screw couch-guy. Don't ever put up with that crap. And for that matter, AD might be right. You might have to re-evaluate your SO. If he were an action figure, would couch-guy be one of his accessories? If so, maybe you should look into some GI Joes. They have some pretty cool karate action these days.
JL and I had a couch guy for a while. He's a good friend of ours, it was a lot of fun, and when we asked him to move out he did without trouble. He moved to his own apartment, and got his own couch guy. Unfortunately he's a better couch guy than the one he got, so he got rid of his as soon as possible. There should be a "reverse eBay" for things like this. Things that nobody wants but you can't get rid of. I'd post our various penis invaders and about 20 pounds of flab.
blah blah blah Pattern Recognition (cheers again Bozack, it kicked serious ass!) blah blah
I really enjoyed that book. I think Gibson is great, and I like it when he's web logging (http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/blog/blog.asp). I hear he's optioned this book to some movie house. I'd say of the books I've read of his, this one lends itself to movie-making most. I'm sure he'd like to reverse eBay such classics as Johnny Mnemonic.
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It's like having a pet Gremilin - seems like a fun idea, but is horribly ill advised.
I read that, and immediatly thought, "Having a pet gremlin would be awesome!"
"Wait, no, that would suck....AHA! An apt simile!"
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The couch guy arguement was immediatly followed by a "chose me or couch guy" ultimatum with my SO, which was then followed by my SO calling couch guy back and telling him he couldn't stay with us "because it would be inconvienient." Profuse apologise from my SO were followed by me saying "you'll be forgiven if you prove it in your actions."
This year has marked the most arguing ever in our three year relationship (two years co-habitation). I worry that my tendancy to look for the dark cloud in every silver lining is making me find fault in a very happy relationship just because I need to have something going wrong in my life just to feel functional. How fucked is that?
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I worry that my tendancy to look for the dark cloud in every silver lining is making me find fault in a very happy relationship just because I need to have something going wrong in my life just to feel functional. How fucked is that?
Erm. Well, seems to be how my life goes.
Sounds like potentially good news on the couch guy front though. Hope it goes well.
Back to the subconscious dysfunctionality, I have, to some extent come to live with it, as I don't seem to be at all productive when I'm entirely happy. Though I may be wrong... I can't remember back that far! Aaaah, but seriously, there is this line before I get totally depressed where I can work, and if you're writing at the moment, you may just be seeking that place, I don't know.
Hmmmmm.
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I don't know, the couch-guy thing sounds genuinely dysfunctional, something that needed to be resolved in some manner. That said, it probably isn't worth making an arguing point of the way he told Couch Guy off -- it probably saves face for both of them to say "it was inconvenient" and not "my SO gave me an ultimatum and I chose her; sorry, dude," even if it was disingenuous. If he keeps couch guy out, all is well.
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This year has marked the most arguing ever in our three year relationship (two years co-habitation). I worry that my tendancy to look for the dark cloud in every silver lining is making me find fault in a very happy relationship just because I need to have something going wrong in my life just to feel functional. How fucked is that?
Average on the Fucked-o-meter (in my experience). One way people cope with situations they feel that they have less control than they want over is to introduce conflict and manage the conflict. Another is to find negatives so that if/when things go bad, they can reflect on the negatives and place causation there. You may be (probably are) neither but I would encourage you to find joy wherever you can because it's a hell of a lot healthier for you. And it's a lot nicer for everyone. I know how hard that can be, I've been trying for a long time and, in general, I'm successful about half the time. Which I'm learning is actually really above average.
There's a finer line than you might think between arguing too much and resigned, resentful silence. Keep communicating and eventually you both will hear what the other wants.
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One way people cope with situations they feel that they have less control than they want over is to introduce conflict and manage the conflict.
Reading this, I felt like a little light bulb just went off over my head. A number of things suddenly make sense to me that didn't before.
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Ain't epiphanies grand?
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Another is to find negatives so that if/when things go bad, they can reflect on the negatives and place causation there. You may be (probably are) neither but I would encourage you to find joy wherever you can because it's a hell of a lot healthier for you. And it's a lot nicer for everyone. I know how hard that can be, I've been trying for a long time and, in general, I'm successful about half the time. Which I'm learning is actually really above average.
There's a finer line than you might think between arguing too much and resigned, resentful silence. Keep communicating and eventually you both will hear what the other wants.
Thank you for the sage advice.
Finding the joy indeed. And there is so much joy to be had right now, but I'm wasting my time on panic and worry. We had our first snow last night, and everything is white, and the sun is out. There is so much joy.
Thanks Aloha.
Also, in the "if you don't learn it the first time you hear it, you'll keep hearing it louder and louder until you do" file, a few weeks ago I told my very kind boss how I'd had a nightmare where I dreamt that I failed to hire someone to teach a drama workshop, only to have 30 ultra-hyper kids show up at the theatre with no one to teach them and nothing to do. He told me, in the same vein: "You know, if you worry about the worst case senario all the time, you'll more than likly cause it to happen. At least that's been my experience. And even if that did happen, it'd be way less of a screw-up than my worst mistakes when I did your job, and look at me now -(he runs the school)!" It's great to have a boss who tells me not to worry.
I've found in general that being surrounded by puppets and fuzzy monkey masks tends to help everyone around be more human. At home, I stress out about the major responsibilites I've taken on with this job, but when I'm actually in the office I'm happy and productive, mostly because I'm surrounded by happy productive people. We ain't in it fo' the $$ after all!