The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: side_show on December 13, 2004, 05:55:02 pm
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Dear god! Just found out thru our mortgage broker that my SO and I have been pre-approved to have a brand-spankin' new house built for us thru a special program for low-income familes! Holy hell. Holy hell.
I am excited and horribly terrified.
Have made multiple trips to our future neigbourhood to stare at the empty lot where our house will be.
My emotions are all generally positive, I get that fultter-y feeling - sort of like the "just before x-mas/b-day" feeling you get as a kid. But this is so big.
Do I really want to be a grown-up with real adult responsibilites like a mortgage? Dear god.
A house. A house.
All makin' decisions on what colour backsplash goes in the kitchen.
All not havin' a landlord to call when the fridge breaks down.
All takin' on a huge debt load.
My SO is so totally chill about this, he's all "Ya, we'll be fine." And I'm all "what about the fact we have to, like, build and fence? What about buying, like major appliances like a fridge and stove? What about the fact the neighbourhood is still in a 'redevelopment faze' with a mix of sketchy neighbours and regular folk? What about if we get a dog? What about the garden we built at the house we rent right now? What about? What about? What about?'
Holy hell.
Interestingly enough, everyone I've told about my SO and I getting a house is all like, "So are you guys getting married?"
Hmm.
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On the marriage thing -- I think because buying a house together is such a huge, adult-type responsibility, the assumption is that it's connected to other big, adult-type responsibilities. Not necessarily true, but it's an easy logic hole to fall into.
Also, congratulations! May your house be lovely.
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Well, if you live together (in sin!) in a house and share expenses and sleep in the same bed the only difference between that and marriage is ideological.
Also, I don't know how that works in Canadia, but in the U.S. if you live together like that for seven years (in most states) you're legally married anyway, whether you perform the ceremony or not.
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Wow, good luck! That sounds really awesome. Your house. Will be. Rad.
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What makes the "are you getting married" question so interesting is that a) we've been living in sin for over two years b) the person who most ardently insisted that home ownership and marriage somehow interconnect was a friend, who's new boyfriend moved in with him less than a week after they started dating. c) my SO and I are not at all religious.
In Canada, or at least Manitoba (it's a provincial 'thang here) since the whole legalization of gay marriages thing happened, there has been a restructuring of what makes a couple common law. It used to be 7 years if the couple shared no offspring and 3 if they did, and you had to go out and fill out a form if you wanted to be included in either clause. Now it's changed so that after three years a couple is common law, across the board, no form, no nothing.
So give it another year and my SO and I are common law anyway. My bestfriend just got married this summer, and she's all "just get married - you won't believe how much money people give you." And I know this is definitly true - I was her maid of honour - I saw the piles of cash and the oodles of gifts. But I don't want my number one motivator to getting married to be greed, but that bling, is also nice.
Strangely though, all the questioning from others has given me the itch. My SO and I have talked about it and he's said "you deserve a wedding." and "I want to marry you." etc. I know he's looking for me to be all oh-boy-yes-lets do this! But I spent my adolecence taking care of my mentally ill mother, and even though I try to limit my time with her, she tends to make me very, very miserable with her extreme passive agressivness and intentional problem causing. I witnessed my parents car-crash marriage. They're still "together" but dad regularly takes jobs that take him out of town for long periods of time. Even though he "retired" years ago he's taken on yet another job that takes him out of the city that starts in January. When I was a kid that meant I was stuck with mom, now it means she's stuck alone.
A wedding would not be a fun thing for me because of her, and there is no way to get married without excluding her unless we excluded all of my SO's family, who I sincerly love to pieces. I don't want a Vegas wedding, but I don't want to spend months of misery planning an event with my mother, and I can't just cut her out. I know it's a mental health thing and in the end it's out of her controle too. My SO and I have talked about this, and if we get married he really wants his family there - and logically so, they're great loving people.
Hell.
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The question is do you want to be married? If so you should be married. Go to the justice of the peace or however they do it in Canadia and be married. That's what really matters.
Then have a party to celebrate. There's no reason it has to be some kind of extravaganza that takes months to plan. If you're eligible for a low-income house, then presumably you don't have money to burn on products and services of the wedding-industrial complex. You don't have to get sucked into all that.
People need to focus less on what kind of a party they are going to have and more on the end result. In my humble opinion.
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[marriage debate past as it pertains to side_show split off]
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back on the freakin' topic of the freakin' house...
My SO and I are meeting with the builder guy soon and when I spoke to him, he reminded me to bring "a list of add-ons."
me "what do you mean by add-ons?"
him "things you'd like your house to have that will improve your quality of
life."
me"oh, okay."
My SO and I have been drawing up a list, the house comes standard with all the basic things we'll need, will have a super-efficient furnace, hot water tank, etc. So we're looking at the other stuff... the add-ons.
Sooo... What things would you add on to your home to make it...home? (I'm not saying the SO and I can nessisarily afford all that much, but this is a list of all those wonderful practical things that you need to live)
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Um, I think 'add-ons' is builder's lingo for 'things you really can't afford,' so don't let them talk you into anything.
But there is one really simple thing I wish I had in my house, which is a bathtub that is big enough to be completely submerged in. This shouldn't be that hard, since I am only five feet tall, but I don't have it and it drives me crazy.
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But there is one really simple thing I wish I had in my house, which is a bathtub that is big enough to be completely submerged in. This shouldn't be that hard, since I am only five feet tall, but I don't have it and it drives me crazy.
Dang, couldn't you use like a big cooler or something?
Follow the yellow-brick road! Just kidding.
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In-floor heating and one of them on-demand hot water tanks, where it doesn't keep the water sitting there, but heats it as you need it. Very economical. My ex-in-laws have both, and they're great.
Big bath tub, certainly, that's a must.
Front loading washer, if you are also doing the appliances now. Those are the coolest. I miss mine so bad. Very economical, also.
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On electrical: if not included, make sure GFCU wall sockets are set up to protect line runs in particular areas, like bathrooms and wash/utility rooms. That way you can have an accident and just trip the circuit instead of having a fire or an electrocution.
Most places this is mandatory, isn't it?
On garage (if applicable): What kind of door and is it well sealed, possible upgrade. Is the garage drywalled and insulated? May be a worthwhile upgrade. Does the garage have a heat vent or another means to keep it above freezing? If not, see what upgrades are available.
Also, if you are going to be spending time there (other than just storing cars/crap) more light is better. Many builders skimp on the garage lighting.
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Front loading washer, if you are also doing the appliances now. Those are the coolest. I miss mine so bad. Very economical, also.
What's better about a front-loading washer? Doesn't it get the floor all wet when you open it to add the things you forgot to put in at the beginning?
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Most places this is mandatory, isn't it?
From this guy (http://www.cs.uu.nl/wais/html/na-dir/electrical-wiring/part1.html)
Ain't no thing, Ash - I did not research where this specific house is being built, this was sort of off the top of my pointy head. I cannot be expected to remember where everyone lives based on their comments here. It's all I can do to find my own way home.
Front loading washer, if you are also doing the appliances now. Those are the coolest. I miss mine so bad. Very economical, also.
What's better about a front-loading washer? Doesn't it get the floor all wet when you open it to add the things you forgot to put in at the beginning?
Ha! If for no other reason, it is better because it has a window in the front to allow you to wash your clothes become cleaner. If you don't understand how that is better, you are a heathen. It makes a chore into an entertainment!
Seriously, it saves a significant amount of water and detergent (if you don't hate the Earth), and it does substantially less damage to your clothes. (http://www.achewood.com/shop/apparel.php)
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I've always heard builders refer to this stuff as "options." So in that case don't forget a garbage disposal.
I've always wanted the on-demand hot water heater. Those things are so choice.
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It makes a chore into an entertainment!
That I can appreciate. It will have to wait till we live somewhere where there's any room at all to sit in front of the washer, though. Maybe where I could sit in a big bathtub (NOT a big cooler!) watching the laundry spin round, even. A girl can dream can't she?
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In-floor heating and one of them on-demand hot water tanks, where it doesn't keep the water sitting there, but heats it as you need it. Very economical. My ex-in-laws have both, and they're great.
Big bath tub, certainly, that's a must.
Front loading washer, if you are also doing the appliances now. Those are the coolest. I miss mine so bad. Very economical, also.
Done - this house, as part of the program for the low-income housing thing-y that my SO and I are part of, is a "Power Smart" home. We have like a super efficient furnace with heat return, an on-demand hot water tank, the house will come pre-installed with those funky lightbulbs, top-o-the-line insulation etc.
And for building a Power Smart Home, we got the choice of either $600 off our hydro or a FREE front loading washer. We chose the washer.
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Big tub is for yes
I agree with everyone - I wants me a big ol' tub. I must soak.
Also, see if upgrades in stuff like UV window tinting (keep you from greenhousing as much), dual paned windows, window/door weatherstripping, wall/attic insulation and door quality (outside acces esp.) are available and semi-cost-reasonable. It'll affect your comfort and be a cost saving for you in the long run.
I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba where these are all standard requirements due to the -40 C winters. Actually we're getting triple paned windows as part of the standard package. I have very fond memories of going to other places and being all confused by single paned windows.
On fixtures: it's easier to do them now during initial build. Do you want filtered drinking water? If so, see about build in for a sink tap with filtration device built in under sink. How about a handy dandy extendable hose handset for doing dishes linked to your hot water line hard mounted in the sink?
An under the tap filter is an excellent idea. As for the handy dandy hose on the sink, I have one now and all I use it for now is spraying my SO when he gets too silly.
On electrical: if not included, make sure GFCU wall sockets are set up to protect line runs in particular areas, like bathrooms and wash/utility rooms. That way you can have an accident and just trip the circuit instead of having a fire or an electrocution.
All standard. And as for the rest, we get to have a meeting with the electrician on the build to determin where we want things and any other extras we need. We get two phone jacks and two cable jacks as part of the standard package. And as for a garage, this is not part of the deal, but my dad is clearly super excited about building one with us - I've witnessed him build three in my life-time, and I myself have never had us of a garage in my life, so I'm happy to wait, but look forward to not scraping frost, clearing snow, etc off my windows.
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It makes a chore into an entertainment!
That I can appreciate. It will have to wait till we live somewhere where there's any room at all to sit in front of the washer, though. Maybe where I could sit in a big bathtub (NOT a big cooler!) watching the laundry spin round, even. A girl can dream can't she?
The reasons why hydro so happily offers to buy us a front loader are as follows: takes half the water, because of the way it spins clothes are much dryer at the completion of washing and therefore need less time in the dryer. Other benifits include that is is gentler on clothes, and yes is strangely fun to watch.
So thanks to all for your input.
We settled on the major cost add-ons yesterday, and they included:
- a complete appliance package of fridge stove and dishwasher, all engergy efficient. (because of the free washing machine all we need to buy on our own is a dryer)
- a full lenght front porch (expensive, but enjoyable)
&
- central air
Next up comes chosing countertops, flooring etc.
I'm all about hardwood flooring in the living room, rather than carpeting & a deep tub.
The only problem we faced so far is the builders resistance to giving us smooth ceilings. For some reason all these homes come standard with textured (aka popcorn) ceilings, and when we raised this issue the builder was not willing to negotiate it -he said it would be much more expensive. Which makes no sense to me. So in the end, we may simply tell the builder to take the ceilings to the primer stage, and that we'll do the painting. I'm so opposed to the popcorn ceilings - so dated, so 1984.
It's very weird to care about all these silly little details, I feel like a super-dork for getting excited over vinyl floor samples!
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I want this washing machine (http://www.survivalunlimited.com/washingmachines.htm).
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I appreciate that the washer there is the most energy efficient.
However, if you don't get the little window in front to watch your laundry, you may as well be bashing your clothes with rocks on the banks of the river.
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Y'know, I like doing laundry as much as the next person (:dunce:), but the idea of sitting around watching it when I could be playing Metroid...why the hell would I want to do that?
Seems to me that if you're going to sit around and watch your expensive machine slave do the laundry, you might as well be bashing your clothes with rocks on the banks of the river.
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Philistine.
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I just want a washer that doesn't require 6 quarters.
Also, a dryer.
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I spent the vast majority of my life in coin-op laundry hell. All having to wash my dad's tightie-whities at the laundromat next to the 7-11. All drinking Slurpees and reading teen-girl magazines on cracked vinyl couches for 4 hours every weekend.
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I will freely confess that I used to be a laundry-minder -- but that was in my freshman year of college, when I was paranoid that someone would come in and steal my laundry if I left it alone for even a minute. That, and it was a good excuse to get some reading done, because what else are you going to do?
Thankfully, now I realize that nobody in their right mind would ever want to steal my under#####. Life is calmer now.
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Thankfully, now I realize that nobody in their right mind would ever want to steal my under#####. Life is calmer now.
Well, I did in fact have under##### stolen from my dorm room's laundry room in college. I could not tell you why, but they took all the flannel boxers from a load of laundry and left the rest.
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I could not tell you why, but they took all the flannel boxers from a load of laundry and left the rest.
I'd guess someone who wears the same size as you needed some flannel boxers.
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I college all our machines operated off of our student ID's. My currently appartment is the first time I've delt with coin-op and it's a pain. But 4 hours? Damn. Our laundry only takes an hour and half.
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Coin-op laundry is almost a deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned. My wife picked out our present location before I moved down, and it had to have a lot of things going for it for me to agree. And even then, it was the fact that a good friend of hers agreed to sell us his washer/dryer for $50 that finally sealed the deal.
I despise the laundromat. There are never cute girls dancing around there like I see in the television commercials and music videos.
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You just need to bring a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice to the laundromat. Instant party!
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Coin-op laundry is almost a deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned. My wife picked out our present location before I moved down, and it had to have a lot of things going for it for me to agree. And even then, it was the fact that a good friend of hers agreed to sell us his washer/dryer for $50 that finally sealed the deal.
I despise the laundromat. There are never cute girls dancing around there like I see in the television commercials and music videos.
Our last place had a tiny washer-dryer in unit that did like half a load and took well over 2 hours. The current place has coin-op in the basement. Between the noise and needing multiple loads I'm not sure it was actually more convenient.
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Absolutely devilish solution to a sticky problem.
I can't even think of what to say. Kudos, Kodos.
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Random laundromat stories:
When I was a child I was positive that only very poor people used the laundromat. When one time our washer broke and my mother sent me to the coin-op to do laundry, I was mortified in the profoundly awful way that only a teenager can be mortified. Bizarrely, when we were on food stamps for a while - which you'd think would be a more obvious marker of poverty - it didn't bother me one bit to shop with them. But going to the laundromat was just heartrendingly embarassing.
Later when I was in college I used to go to a laundromat in Cambridge that had a sign saying that the movie Love Story was filmed there. I couldn't really imagine that anyone cared. Eventually sometime in the 1980s they took the sign down when they painted.
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In college, when I moved off-campus, there was a laundromat on one corner, a bar on the opposite corner.
Clothes in the washer... go drink a beer.
Come back, put them in the dryer... go drink a beer.
Come back, they aren't dry yet, pump in more quarters... go drink a beer.
Laundry wasn't so bad.
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In Columbus, we had bars that were Laundromats. You put in your clothes, had some beers, played some darts watched the game, checked your clothres, folded, had another beer, went home.
It was awesome.
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When I was young my mom used to go to a laundromat that had an attached arcade. The best thing was that it wasn't any normal arcade, it was an all you can play arcade. All the machines had a ton of credits on them, and if you ever found one without credits the people would add more.
I so looked forward to laundry days, and was kind of sad when my folks found a house.
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When I was young my mom used to go to a laundromat that had an attached arcade. The best thing was that it wasn't any normal arcade, it was an all you can play arcade. All the machines had a ton of credits on them, and if you ever found one without credits the people would add more.
I so looked forward to laundry days, and was kind of sad when my folks found a house.
That's a hell of an idea.
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Okay, so the ultimate laundromat would have:
- all-you-can-play arcade
- sports/gaming bar
- newsstand
- bank upon bank of front-loading washer
I think I'm working up a new business plan.
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I think I'm working up a new business plan.
(http://www.truemeaningoflife.com/pictures/civ_wiseman.gif)Your Wise Men discover the secret of Strip Mall!
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Okay, so the ultimate laundromat would have:
- all-you-can-play arcade
- sports/gaming bar
- newsstand
- bank upon bank of front-loading washer
I think I'm working up a new business plan.
But you've forgotten something, it needs SNACKS.
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I think I'm working up a new business plan.
(http://www.truemeaningoflife.com/pictures/civ_wiseman.gif)Your Wise Men discover the secret of Strip Mall!
That's fine and dandy but they'd better get their asses in gear and discover the railroad. Don't they know how important that is?
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Another random laundry story
I used to live in a beautiful character building famously known around to have the second oldest elevator in the city. The laundry room was in a very creepy area of the basement, and was constantly filled with steam. Although the building was huge there was never anyone in the laundry room when I went in. My friend, who I subletted this apartment from, had had his laundry stolen repeatedly, so I usually did my laundry at my parents place.
On day when I was going out, a note was tacked to a message board in the lobby which used every foul word in the English language. The message boiled down to this - the author's laundry had been stolen, and he hopes whoever stole his clothes enjoys them because the author of the note has a very bad case of crabs. I loved this note, and it stayed up for over a week, only to be replaced by another swearing letter full of threats of violence.