The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: cellardoor on December 20, 2004, 12:24:59 pm
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Brilliant...just...brilliant.
Primal scream therapy for cats.
And the alt.text made it even funnier.
"Sitting on a park bench...."
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What a great awesome strip. I love it. Love it. Love it.
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I love the ongoing joke/assumption that Ray is constantly had by eBay (Little Nephew's shenanigans being an example). "the guy on eBay said it might take a few minutes for our primal instincts to kick back in, dude!" This, plus Broadicus Dickus, leads us to believe that Ray is just a total goofball who will try anything at least once.
Also, your obligatory Scandinavian Music Video. (http://www.samfoxvideo.com/SamFox-TouchMe2004.avi) Featuring Samantha Fox! She's aged well, but her seductive crawl does look like it has an artificial hip somewhere in the equation.
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I'm guessing Beef's first instinct would be to call the gazelle ambulance. All employing the principles of sprinting instead of rolling.
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I'm guessing Beef's first instinct would be to call the gazelle ambulance. All employing the principles of sprinting instead of rolling.
Apparently a "bok" is a family of gazelles. The most famous is the springbok, which I think we've most of us heard of. But there's also the rhebok/reebok, which is of course the logo of the shoe of the same name.
I found that out on http://www.halbrindley.com/ - some of his pictures, especially the Africa stuff, is absolutely breathtaking, including his shot of the leopard taking out a crocodile.
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How could this thread not be titled "Hell of such as meow?"
Great strip. Those kabobs sound pretty good.
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Hot guts.
More immediate, that's all.
Typing out complex beefisms may have compromised my ability to start the thread and experience the giddy rush of joy knowing that I AM THE LEADER AND YOU ARE ALL MY FOLLOWERS!!
*froths at mouth and collapses to floor overcome by oblique and ghastly forum powers*
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Hot guts.
More immediate, that's all.
Typing out complex beefisms may have compromised my ability to start the thread and experience the giddy rush of joy knowing that I AM THE LEADER AND YOU ARE ALL MY FOLLOWERS!!
*froths at mouth and collapses to floor overcome by oblique and ghastly forum powers*
Please do not make me find a second Scandinavian cheesecore video to shut you up. :wink:
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I love this so hard.
But I don't understand the alt-text. The only Tull I know is Jethro and I am just old enough to know who that is, and not old enough I guess to know if they had big hair like lions, and definitely uncool enough that this could be about something else entirely.
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I love this so hard.
But I don't understand the alt-text. The only Tull I know is Jethro and I am just old enough to know who that is, and not old enough I guess to know if they had big hair like lions, and definitely uncool enough that this could be about something else entirely.
What would Lyle do in such a situation? He is, after all, a tiger.
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But there's also the rhebok/reebok, which is of course the logo of the shoe of the same name.
No kidding? And I thought I knew my mammals. Youall are just so educational.
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But there's also the rhebok/reebok, which is of course the logo of the shoe of the same name.
No kidding? And I thought I knew my mammals. Youall are just so educational.
And of course the Nike, which I think is a kind of (perhaps mythical?) Hellenic bird.
Personally, I wore (shades of Ray?) British Knights sneakers if I could get away with it. Those things were Keds-level indestructible, but had a ghetto-Reebok coolness level.
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Personally, I wore (shades of Ray?) British Knights sneakers if I could get away with it. Those things were Keds-level indestructible, but had a ghetto-Reebok coolness level.
BK's were cool in elementary school because they were the shoes that Nickelodeon gave away on all their game shows. And you can't tell me that you didn't want to be on Double Dare.
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Personally, I wore (shades of Ray?) British Knights sneakers if I could get away with it. Those things were Keds-level indestructible, but had a ghetto-Reebok coolness level.
BK's were cool in elementary school because they were the shoes that Nickelodeon gave away on all their game shows. And you can't tell me that you didn't want to be on Double Dare.
British Knights seemed to be contemporary with Pogo Ball and Garbage Pail Kids.
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Personally, I wore (shades of Ray?) British Knights sneakers if I could get away with it. Those things were Keds-level indestructible, but had a ghetto-Reebok coolness level.
I wore those shoes in 7th grade. The so-called coolness of those shoes did nothing to stop people from picking on me mercilessly, though. I guess if the cool kids decide you're a dork, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change their minds, no matter how many pairs of MC Hammer ##### you own. Gah! Junior High memories! Make them stop!
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Personally, I wore (shades of Ray?) British Knights sneakers if I could get away with it. Those things were Keds-level indestructible, but had a ghetto-Reebok coolness level.
I wore those shoes in 7th grade. The so-called coolness of those shoes did nothing to stop people from picking on me mercilessly, though. I guess if the cool kids decide you're a dork, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change their minds, no matter how many pairs of MC Hammer ****** you own. Gah! Junior High memories! Make them stop!
I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
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When BKs were big I was living in California, and the word on the street was that you shouldn't wear BKs because only Crips wear them. (BK = Blood Killers)
This was amusing since I lived in probably the single whitest city in these United States.
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When BKs were big I was living in California, and the word on the street was that you shouldn't wear BKs because only Crips wear them. (BK = Blood Killers)
This was amusing since I lived in probably the single whitest city in these United States.
White-boy slang is the best. Like Ray, all trotting out the blumpkin$$$ and doggz 2 tha bizz0ne!
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This is the first strip where I noticed, consciously, that Ray has rounded ears whereas Beef has pointy ones.
If asked previous to this to describe the differences, I would most likely have listed:
Ray's omnipresent spectacles
Ray is the chubby cat
Ray has the thong
But never ear shape. I feel unobservant.
Also, there is a surprising amount of scrap titanium to be had on eBay.
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Jethro Tull.
It must be a musical reference. The band (or at least Ian Anderson) were quite hirsute, facially.
I've always linked Jethro Tull and their fans to beards so i'm sure this is the alt.txt reference.
I'll eat my hat if it isn't!
Its either that or a guarded admission to Onstad's love of British agricultural history....either way, $COOL!$
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Jethro Tull.
Rock flute. BOO TO THAT!
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This is the first strip where I noticed, consciously, that Ray has rounded ears whereas Beef has pointy ones.
If asked previous to this to describe the differences, I would most likely have listed:
Ray's omnipresent spectacles
Ray is the chubby cat
Ray has the thong
But never ear shape. I feel unobservant.
Never forget the nipples. Nipples are key.
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Nice strip, but Onstad better not take the week off. We need Taco Bell closure.
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This is the first strip where I noticed, consciously, that Ray has rounded ears whereas Beef has pointy ones.
If asked previous to this to describe the differences, I would most likely have listed:
Ray's omnipresent spectacles
Ray is the chubby cat
Ray has the thong
But never ear shape. I feel unobservant.
Never forget the nipples. Nipples are key.
If I were more resourceful, I'd CJ this one. Since I am not so rad as he, I will make an attempt.
In the Ray's Place advice column for August 26th (http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?date=08262003&allnav=1), someone thought that Ray was a Scottish Fold.
What breed of cat are you? We're betting on Scottish Fold, because of your ear shape. I'm looking into cat ownership—excuse me, companionship—in the near future and I want a cat just like you.
Hell's Kitchen
Dear Hell’s Kitchen,
Naw baby, I ain’t no jackassed Scottish Fold. Folds are real ugly (http://www.cfainc.org/breeds/profiles/jpgs-bob/sfoldsh2.jpg) and they have this retarded accent that’s all like, “Hewwo! How awe yew?” You know, like that deaf priest in Princess Bride.
I’m an American Curl (http://www.achewood.com/rsrc/img/about/my_drivers_license.gif). Registered CFA two-time national Grand Champion, at that! American Curls are known for having a generally amiable disposition, but we can really bring sack if the situation calls for it.
More proof that Scottish Folds are a boil on the ass of feline society. (scroll down)
What kind of respectable creature would honestly allow themselves to be photographed wearing this crap? [rest of letter omitted]
MG, Internet
Dear MG.,
Yeah, thanks for the link. That site definitely ain’t helpin’ out the SASF (Society for the Advancement of Scottish Folds). Heh...man, look at those little dummies. They're all like "Hewwo! How awwe yew! Wouwd yew wike tew buy a fwoggie hat?"
And of course, my rebuttal: (http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?date=09022003&allnav=1)
Dear Ray,
This letter is a big "fuck you" from all the Scottish Folds of the world.
Love, Linnea & Milan
Dear Linnea,
Don’t you mean “fwuck wou?” Ha ha! That’s the first thing that came to mind. See you bitches later.
Heh. I know I've quoted this before, but I just had to include it in this discussion. Speaking of Scottish Folds, here is Milan (one of my guys. He and his brother, Lennybruce, live with me and are the two best kitties in the world imho). Milan and Lennybruce will be 2 years old on January 27th. This is a picture of Milan when he was a wee laddie.
(http://Somebody nice.typepad.com/photos/milan/milan2.jpg)
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
Overalls with one strap down!
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
Overalls with one strap down!
Wearing backpacks with one strap only!
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
Overalls with one strap down!
Wearing backpacks with one strap only!
I would totally found a corporation whose performance reviews were based on the principles of the childhood game MASH and those little fortune telling devices you can make out of paper.
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I remember those things but I was in between high school and college at the time.
<-- old
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Jethro Tull.
Rock flute. BOO TO THAT!
Bon Scott played recorder in a band before he was in AC/DC - and I, unfortunately, have seen the video.
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Jethro Tull.
Rock flute. BOO TO THAT!
Bon Scott played recorder in a band before he was in AC/DC - and I, unfortunately, have seen the video.
I should avoid this, because as far as I'm concerned, Bon Scott can do no wrong.
But then again, the recorder was the first instrument I ever played.
Next up for the cats: a 70s hard rock band.
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
Overalls with one strap down!
Wearing backpacks with one strap only!
I would totally found a corporation whose performance reviews were based on the principles of the childhood game MASH and those little fortune telling devices you can make out of paper.
And who can forget the pinch-rolled, acid-washed jeans! The tapered-leg trousers in the late '80s were not tight enough, so you rolled up your pant legs as close to your ankle/calf area as possible.
Socks whose color matches your shirt!
Keds* with no laces!
Large bangs ("mall" bangs) curled with curling irons and anchored with a shit-ton of Aqua-Net aerosol hairspray.
Friendship bracelets (this is in the same vein as the snap-bracelets)
Oh god, this junior-high revisiting is making me all queasy. I fuck*ng hated that time in my life.
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*Yes, I am aware that Keds say, "I do not value myself". This was a fifth-grade fad, people.
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Oh god, this junior-high revisiting is making me all queasy. I fuck*ng hated that time in my life.
This appears to be nearly universal, although some look back at the time with more queasiness than others. If I really sit and think about it, I can become suicidal. High School was a little bit better, but still horrible. Life didn't stop completely sucking until I was 19.
Anyone here who didn't hate ages 11-17 (give or take a few)? Apparently Beef did.
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I pretty much hated 7th grade through junior year in high school. Senior year was OK, if not great. College rocked.
Odd though, looking back on it, how you suppress much of the bad stuff. My specific memories of that time are mainly positive, although a closer examination reveals much of the insecurity et al.
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Oh god, this junior-high revisiting is making me all queasy. I fuck*ng hated that time in my life.
I'm pretty sure science proves it impossible to have a good day when you are in junior high. I have a question - were any of your J-high school buildings designed such that it's occu##### would suffer all manner of mental ailments? Such was the case with Laramie Junior High - low celings, tiny or nonexistant windows, fluorecent lights, a room number system based on the necranomocan. Later on when I was in High School our sociology class went on a field trip to the Wyoming State Penn for ladies. Throughout the whole trip I was uneasy about the familiarity of this building. About an hour into it it hit me - the same architect who designed this prison must have designed my junior high. So all my classmates claims were true - LJHS was actually a prison.
As Bozack might say, fuck that architect in the EYE!
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My junior high looked exactly like a cellblock from the outside. Also, we made Pruno, and shivs in metal shop, and traded human lives for cigarettes.
I didn't mind high school, I don't think, but then again I can't really remember it very well.
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I have a question - were any of your J-high school buildings designed such that it's occu##### would suffer all manner of mental ailments?
I went to Junior High in the late '70s, the school was only a few years old at the time. It had (get ready for this...)
NO CLASSROOMS.
No walls. No doors. No windows.
Just one mammoth open area with lots of odd partitions and dividers breaking it up. None of them went to the ceiling. Many, if not most of them had holes or breaks so that you could sit in 7th grade Social Studies and look through a hole and see what the 9th graders were studying in Civics that day. It was, in a word, stupid.
I think they've built walls into it since then.
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I was cool because i had kiddie-equivalent of bling bling. Guess denim jackets and stonewashed jeans, gimp bracelet on one hand and snap bracelets on the other (but never switched: no, no, that meant you were a homo...
oh man dogg old junior high fads such as such as snap bracelets and wearing clothes backwards and inside out Kris Kros stylzzz
also, Don't 4get tha k00$h ballz!
Overalls with one strap down!
Wearing backpacks with one strap only!
I would totally found a corporation whose performance reviews were based on the principles of the childhood game MASH and those little fortune telling devices you can make out of paper.
And who can forget the pinch-rolled, acid-washed jeans! The tapered-leg trousers in the late '80s were not tight enough, so you rolled up your pant legs as close to your ankle/calf area as possible.
Socks whose color matches your shirt!
Keds* with no laces!
Large bangs ("mall" bangs) curled with curling irons and anchored with a shit-ton of Aqua-Net aerosol hairspray.
Friendship bracelets (this is in the same vein as the snap-bracelets)
Oh god, this junior-high revisiting is making me all queasy. I fuck*ng hated that time in my life.
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*Yes, I am aware that Keds say, "I do not value myself". This was a fifth-grade fad, people.
I've come to the conclusion that if I ever start a company, the stationary will be exclusively made by Trapper Keeper. (This is the same company that bases performance evals on MASH)
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I have a question - were any of your J-high school buildings designed such that it's occu##### would suffer all manner of mental ailments?
I went to Junior High in the late '70s, the school was only a few years old at the time. It had (get ready for this...)
NO CLASSROOMS.
No walls. No doors. No windows.
Just one mammoth open area with lots of odd partitions and dividers breaking it up. None of them went to the ceiling. Many, if not most of them had holes or breaks so that you could sit in 7th grade Social Studies and look through a hole and see what the 9th graders were studying in Civics that day. It was, in a word, stupid.
I think they've built walls into it since then.
Yeah, I remember that - the old 'open concept' schools. Lots of carpeting, soft lighting from many directions, and tons and tons of dividers that started 2" from the floor and only went up 7' or so.
Even back in the 70's you couldn't trust the schools with the education of your children. Damn Dirty Hippy teachers.
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My middle school indeed had tiny windows on outside classrooms and no windows on most of them. We had the giant sliding walls such as hotel ballrooms use so we could have huge open classrooms if we choose to but they always remainded closed.
Right now I'm a few blocks from South Lakes HS which was actually built to be a prison. But it was repurposed as a school before it was finished.
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My middle school indeed had tiny windows on outside classrooms and no windows on most of them. We had the giant sliding walls such as hotel ballrooms use so we could have huge open classrooms if we choose to but they always remainded closed.
Right now I'm a few blocks from South Lakes HS which was actually built to be a prison. But it was repurposed as a school before it was finished.
no no no... South Lakes (and its sister school Centreville) do follow an institutional cellblock design, but they were always purposed to be schools...
Having gone to Centreville in the distant past I do know that the cellblock design is remarkably space-efficient.
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We had the giant sliding walls such as hotel ballrooms use so we could have huge open classrooms if we choose to but they always remainded closed.
Ohhh, I remember those. They also had tiny floor to ceiling doors by which people could move between classrooms without opening the whole wall. Legend had it that one of the meanest and fattest teacher's got stuck in one of these doors once and had to be rescued by the fire department.
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My middle school indeed had tiny windows on outside classrooms and no windows on most of them. We had the giant sliding walls such as hotel ballrooms use so we could have huge open classrooms if we choose to but they always remainded closed.
Right now I'm a few blocks from South Lakes HS which was actually built to be a prison. But it was repurposed as a school before it was finished.
This was the story of our Jr. High, that it was actually built to be a woman's prison. There were basically two entrances into the two story school as I remember--the main one and a side one that could be closed off with this big-ass blue gate. It had an enourmous courtyard in the middle, and a bi-level staircase where our resident cop could have a great view of the action. So it really did feel like a prison, though I do doubt it was actually built as one because of its proximity to a densely populated residential area.
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I've come to the conclusion that if I ever start a company, the stationary will be exclusively made by Trapper Keeper. (This is the same company that bases performance evals on MASH)
Bobby, you have just evoked as intense a feeling of nostalgia as I have ever felt. Trapper Keepers? Coolest things ever! Now I must look for one today, and buy it if I can find one. God, let there be Trapper Keepers still!
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I have thought for a long time that that company could make a lot of money by marketing Trapper Keepers for the business world.
I'd buy one.
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Trapper Keepers for the business world? Have you people never used Franklin Planners?
http://franklincovey.com/
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Trapper Keepers for the business world? Have you people never used Franklin Planners?
http://franklincovey.com/
But it's not a Trapper Keeper (TM) which, for some reason was banned from usage in most of the classes for my elementary school (something about its rings not being valid for holding enough paper; you needed a three-ring)
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Trapper Keepers for the business world? Have you people never used Franklin Planners?
http://franklincovey.com/
They don't make your fancy-#####ed Franklin Planners with cool airbrushed pictures of F-16s on them, do they?
DENIED
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Trapper Keepers for the business world? Have you people never used Franklin Planners?
http://franklincovey.com/
They don't make your fancy-#####ed Franklin Planners with cool airbrushed pictures of F-16s on them, do they?
DENIED
RED ONE TO RED LEADER
OUR PEOPLE ARE NOW FREE
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I find my Palm Tungsten to be far more versatile than any trapper keeper I've ever owned, and I can put as many photos of F16s or Constance Zimmer or whatever.
So there. :P
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I find my Palm Tungsten to be far more versatile than any trapper keeper I've ever owned, and I can put as many photos of F16s or Constance Zimmer or whatever.
So there. :P
My Sharp Zaurus is even more versatile, with a better keyboard, wireless connectivity and the power of a Linux command shell.
You had better pay me union wages because I am apparently a carpenter based on how you got HOUSED.
... okay, I am not Roast Beef
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I find my Palm Tungsten to be far more versatile than any trapper keeper I've ever owned, and I can put as many photos of F16s or Constance Zimmer or whatever.
So there. :P
But does it hold folders with Garfield on them? Or rulers with TK-friendly holes in them? Pencils with erasers shaped like mecha that don't actually erase? Can you use it as a ramp for tiny cars such as one would get from a vending machine outside K-Mart?
I think not, bitch!
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I find my Palm Tungsten to be far more versatile than any trapper keeper I've ever owned, and I can put as many photos of F16s or Constance Zimmer or whatever.
So there. :P
But does it hold folders with Garfield on them? Or rulers with TK-friendly wholes in them? Pencils with erasers shaped like mecha that don't actually erase? Can you use it as a ramp for tiny cars such as one would get from a vending machine outside K-Mart?
I think not, bitch!
somehow in our minds we have this image of Jough as a Comic Book Guy in a stuffy old man pinstripe suit (complete with matching fedora),- being slowly marched upon by the representation of our youthful memories in the form of hundreds upon hundreds of infuriated sixth graders in British Knights, wearing snap bracelets and flannel shirts over Slayer T-shirts, with tightly cuffed stonewashed jeans, wielding Trapper Keepers and Skip-Its as shields and maces... marching slowly, eyes glazed over, like a scene from a terrible zombie movie... Jough runs screaming, but every street, every alley is filled with the marching children... soon we encroach.. suffocating him in a human tidal wave of seething consumer zeitgeist!
- I picture of course the father character from the Linda Hamilton series Beauty and the Beast which of course shows what happens when you fuck around with lion manes! Onstad are you listening to me?!
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Can you use it as a ramp for tiny cars such as one would get from a vending machine outside K-Mart?
AMEN!
except for the cars coming from vending machines. dude? Dude? DUDE!
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My Sharp Zaurus is even more versatile, with a better keyboard, wireless connectivity and the power of a Linux command shell.
Better keyboard? I have a Bluetooth wireless full-sized keyboard that folds down to fit in my pocket. Try typing 120wpm on that tiny built-in keyboard on the Zaurus.
And strangely enough my Palm and the Zaurus use the same processor, but my Palm has a better OS, and I can run Java MIDP on it. It also has built-in bluetooth and an add-on SDIO 802.11b WiFi.
Add to that a transreflective screen (the best damn screen available for PDAs today) and the largest amount of on-board memory (256mb) and you can't touch it with a ten-foot Zaurus.
Plus, let's face it, "Zaurus" is a stupid-sounding name.
So change your name to Toby and pick that cotton, because you just got OWNED, bitch!
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Try typing 120wpm on that tiny built-in keyboard on the Zaurus.
If you can really type 120wpm then you are teh studley.
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Try typing 120wpm on that tiny built-in keyboard on the Zaurus.
If you can really type 120wpm then you are teh studley.
I think I can do something like 90wpm on the zaurus. And until you can run ssh and nethack on a palm while warwalking U R TEH LAME!#$
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Plus, let's face it, "Zaurus" is a stupid-sounding name.
I have a Zaurus.
I have an iPod.
I am trying to find a way to mount the iPod as a hard drive under the Zaurus. The resultant wearable computer would be the ZaurOPod.
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Let's all put our nerd peckers away, thanks.
Wouldn't that cause the entire forum to close down?
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Better keyboard? I have a Bluetooth wireless full-sized keyboard that folds down to fit in my pocket. Try typing 120wpm on that tiny built-in keyboard on the Zaurus.
And strangely enough my Palm and the Zaurus use the same processor, but my Palm has a better OS, and I can run Java MIDP on it. It also has built-in bluetooth and an add-on SDIO 802.11b WiFi.
Add to that a transreflective screen (the best damn screen available for PDAs today) and the largest amount of on-board memory (256mb) and you can't touch it with a ten-foot Zaurus.
:cry: