The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Chris Onstad on January 05, 2005, 08:23:10 am
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immense saliva, I am the first to post.
I don't get this strip. Meh. Do you want to know what kind of shoes I think I had in high school?
MORE TODD
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brilliant!
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Oh, god! My lumbar!
The wig madness ensues and I am a fan.
Second time in as many weeks i've chuckled out loud (COL?).
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Fabulous. Y'all go and click on the strip now, y'hear?
The last frame is absolutely perfect.
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Yes. Oh, yes.
I love Ray's attempt at Loretta Lynn, which involves the wig, cowboy boots, and not doing a damn thing to the medallion or the thong. God bless.
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A paste made out of mice. Beautiful.
Ray and Beef better not let Nice Pete see their show. He might get offended.
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immense saliva, I am the first to post.
I don't get this strip. Meh. Do you want to know what kind of shoes I think I had in high school?
MORE TODD
I notice you create in bursts (a really good comic plus some killer blog posts plus whatever the hell, and then a dry spell, and then another burst). That's generally how art comes to artists. Do you find it better from a business perspective to hold off on some of the material you'd otherwise release in bursts and save it for the dry spells? Or do you find the business aspect of Achewood works better if you let things come as they may?
Also, you had British Knights just like everyone else.
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Yes. Oh, yes.
I love Ray's attempt at Loretta Lynn, which involves the wig, cowboy boots, and not doing a damn thing to the medallion or the thong. God bless.
Lunacy like this can only call for a Norwegian music video. (http://mms://streaming.reeltime.no/warnermusic/Gaate-Sjaa_Attende.wmv)
keywords: bjork clone and crowd surfing violinist sing the tale of rough and ready barnyard sex interrupted by the Nazgul who then burn the chick alive
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l0l
r0tflma0
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Wigs :: Graphic Comedy
Oil :: Engine Maintenance
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immense saliva
This would make a good album title. Assuming Jenna Jameson was on the cover.
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I really like frame #3...Beef noting that "the hair is great too." This suggests that Ray was also working the Loretta Lynn accent. That's excellent.
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Has anyone ever asked for MORE Todd?
Anyway, so Chris, are Ray and Beef part gay, or is their transvestitism just a product of Ray's obscene wealth and excess free time?
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What this strip needs more of is Roombas.
[edit: Todd is awesome. Frickin' awesome.]
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Has anyone ever asked for MORE Todd?
I for one am always happy to see Todd. When's he get out of the joint?
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MORE LIE BOT, GOD DAMN YOU
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More Dr. Andretti! More Nightlife Mingus! More Trouble Man and No-No. More Satan. More Johnny Cash. More Robert Johnson. More Edgar Allen Poe. More Alex Trebek.
More Ray, Pat, Beef, Teador, Mr. Bear, Lyle, Phillippe, Molly, Tina, Todd, Vlad, Nice Pete, Showbiz and Chucklebot!
More Achewood! More, More, More I Say!
It's all good!
I like the system where Chris picks out what's going to be in the strip and we laugh at it. That's worked exceedingly well thus far and I say we stick with it.
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No no, I wasn't saying that people have expressed that they don't like Todd - I was just saying that the number of people who posted something along the lines of "more todd!" didn't seem great enough to me to mock.
But hey, when does sarcasm at the expense of one's meal ticket need a reason? (although I doubt that biting the hand that feeds an artist generally leads to better art)
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While it is somewhat painful to be treated with disdain by one whom you admire and respect, I think Chris has the right to express his opinion of us as he likes. However, I think my comments to Monkeybutter are still relevant.
Please forgive us for appreciating your work, Chris. We are sad lonely people clinging together around the warm glow of something we share and enjoy in the vast cold world of the internet. Terribly sorry if we have affronted you.
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I like the system where Chris picks out what's going to be in the strip and we laugh at it.
YES.
Except that there should be more Philippe.
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Philippe is the third-best character in the history of Western fictional narrative, after
1) Winnie the Pooh
2) Stewie from Family Guy
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Please forgive us for appreciating your work, Chris. We are sad lonely people clinging together around the warm glow of something we share and enjoy in the vast cold world of the internet. Terribly sorry if we have affronted you.
Don't be a pussy.
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Roast Beef is left-handed.
Or at least he plays the guitar so.
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Youall are just annoyed that it's funny when he makes fun of us.
Now can we all please play nice? I just remembered that I was mistaken when I said that I missed the old days.
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Youall are just annoyed that it's funny when he makes fun of us.
Now can we all please play nice? I just remembered that I was mistaken when I said that I missed the old days.
I think it's cool to make fun of us. No one should apologize for liking something.
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Youall are just annoyed that it's funny when he makes fun of us.
is chris even making fun of us?
faux ironic first post yada-yada, on his second first post in as many days. interpreted as an attempt to achieve community, while still maintaining a "hip" distance.
"i don't get this strip" interpreted as a rather funny, contextually, comment to, perhaps, diminish reader's anxieties on not understanding every nuance of the achewood universe. the author doesn't understand it all either.
"meh" interpreted as direct dig at jough. my, maybe chris _is_ attempting community.
not quite sure how to interpret the shoe sentence. is chris making a dig at the community aspect of the non-achewood of the achewood message board? or, in a rare sense of optimism from me, is he attempting to join into that community?
i'll bite:
hey chris, what tennis shoes did you use to wear in high school that you tenuously remember?
and to further the end:
i got awesome shoes for christmas. i was not aware that Doc Martin made a sole less thick, but they do, and it kicks the ass. these are the nicest pair of shoes, looks wise, i've ever owned. _and_ they are as comfy as any other doc.
"todd"
interpreted as bringing up a character he is fond of that he has not spoken of lately.
now, quick, someone say something about the weather, so that i might interpret that.
currently:
it's raining.
interpretation, literal and figurative:
i'm all wet.
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Youall are just annoyed that it's funny when he makes fun of us.
Not exactly. If Chris is going to post on this forum (since this is the only forum he seems to post on), he's fair game like anybody else. While he should not be subjected to cheap shots neither should he be sacrosanct. Just like anybody else, if he makes fun of me I'll return the favor. Surely Chris's fragile artistic ego can handle the slings and arrows of mere fanboys on a message board. If not he shouldn't dish it out.
Also, since Chris is soon to be a Dad, I was trying to give him the benefit of my ~14 years of parenting experience. Guilt can be a highly effective tool.
Finally, Hey Ark, where you been lately?
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Youall are just annoyed that it's funny when he makes fun of us.
Now can we all please play nice? I just remembered that I was mistaken when I said that I missed the old days.
I think it's cool to make fun of us. No one should apologize for liking something.
I have a feeling that the author was stoned out of his gourd when he came up with the initial doodles for this "country ladies" strip. Way outta left field. Not unfunny, mind you. Even that first post of self-deprication smacks of a gentle weed-induced paranoia.
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interpreted as an attempt to achieve community, while still maintaining a "hip" distance.
If he is truly to be a member of this community, I believe I have the same right to give him shit as:
a) he has to give me; and
b) I have to give anybody else who posts here.
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I think it is funny that Chris, who is in a unique position to post a thread about that day's strip prior to the strip even being posted, seemed excited by being the first one to post.
It's like making up a game by yourself in the back alley and then getting excited when you "win."
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Hey, Ark, can you find the shoes on the Doc Martin website? I'm always up for KEWL NEW SHOEZ.
Anyway, if Onstad does want to join, I'd love it. CHRIS WHAT ARE YOU READING?
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I confess that I don't understand why Onstad reads or posts if he has such apparent disdain for the board and its readers, but, well, that's his right. Just you read anything you want, Mr. Onstad, and the good lord will provide.
I, too, want cool shoes. Doesn't everyone, really?
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Anyway, if Onstad does want to join, I'd love it. CHRIS WHAT ARE YOU READING?
I second this. CHRIS WHAT ARE YOU READING?
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I, too, want cool shoes. Doesn't everyone, really?
My first priority in this area is comfort. Coolness and/or appearance benefits are just a highly welcome bonus. I will confess a bewildering fondness for cowboy boots, Birkenstocks and those commie slippers with the rubber soles. And Chucks (esp. red ones), of course.
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INDIFFERENCE AND CAPS LOCK
...together at last
(when in season; ask server for availability)
I actually thought that the last panel was a wicked skewer, but it's two thousand and fuck*ng five and I don't want to be shipped off to Divider Camp.
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dudes and ladies got mad speculation,
some are hell of lachrymose,
some had hell of types of shoes.
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God, some of you people are thin-skinned. It never occurred to me that Chris might be making fun, rather than just having fun until some people started whining about it.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you know who you are.
EDITED by V to un-break the i tags around "having"
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God, some of you people are thin-skinned. It never occurred to me that Chris might be making fun, rather than just [/i]having[/i] fun until some people started whining about it.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you know who you are.
Amen to that.
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God, some of you people are thin-skinned. It never occurred to me that Chris might be making fun, rather than just [/i]having[/i] fun until some people started whining about it.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you know who you are.
Chris Onstad wrote:
Always Be Telling People What Kind Of Cereal You Eat Or Used To Eat
All Being Disdainful Of The Biggest Fans Of Your Creative Work
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I said PLAY NICE.
Really, you are all such willing partici##### in the nefarious psychological experiment that Onstad is obviously conducting upon us. It would be amusing except that as much as I love you all, I don't trust it not to get out of hand.
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*ahem*
I agree with those who say that the last panel is a total work of genius. I sort of want to print it out and hang it up, but it makes no sense removed from the strip context, and the strip context makes no sense if removed from the general Achewood context. ("Wait, why are the cats dressing up like country music stars? Why does one of the cats have a thong? Whaaat?")
Damn context, always defeating me in the end!
also, can't we all just get along. I mean, seriously
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*ahem*
I agree with those who say that the last panel is a total work of genius. I sort of want to print it out and hang it up, but it makes no sense removed from the strip context, and the strip context makes no sense if removed from the general Achewood context. ("Wait, why are the cats dressing up like country music stars? Why does one of the cats have a thong? Whaaat?")
Damn context, always defeating me in the end!
also, can't we all just get along. I mean, seriously
Plus it's not the richest nation in the history of the world. I mean ATLANTIS! Hello! Stupid head.
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I said PLAY NICE.
Really, you are all such willing partici##### in the nefarious psychological experiment that Onstad is obviously conducting upon us. It would be amusing except that as much as I love you all, I don't trust it not to get out of hand.
Yeah, but if Chris is going to go to all the trouble of conducting a nefarious psychological experiment on us, who are we not to participate?
/hears bell ring
//drools
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*ahem*
I agree with those who say that the last panel is a total work of genius. I sort of want to print it out and hang it up, but it makes no sense removed from the strip context, and the strip context makes no sense if removed from the general Achewood context. ("Wait, why are the cats dressing up like country music stars? Why does one of the cats have a thong? Whaaat?")
Damn context, always defeating me in the end!
also, can't we all just get along. I mean, seriously
Plus it's not the richest nation in the history of the world. I mean ATLANTIS! Hello! Stupid head.
CJ, You..Are..Rad.
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i hate flash sites. they are a pain and make life more difficult to live. the shoes are "8b65" in bark. the pic on drmartens.com doesn't look right, maybe it's the lighting, the color is off.
lachrymose. nice word. i like learning new words. i especially like words that have opposing definitions.
asherdan- your interpretation of chris's first post finely interprets far superiorly my previous interpretation.
AW- these shoes are very comfy. they are "low", like a "dress shoe", which is normally "not my thing". so, given that i'm somewhat uncomfortable in a "Dress shoe", these are very comfy. the soles/insoles are like walking on a massuese all day, without the whining.
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AW- these shoes are very comfy. they are "low", like a "dress shoe", which is normally "not my thing". so, given that i'm somewhat uncomfortable in a "Dress shoe", these are very comfy. the soles/insoles are like walking on a massuese all day, without the whining.
I've never had Doc Martens, but Mrs. West had a pair that she loved and lost. Oh the heartbreak!
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And it's all blicky blicky blicky . . .
Anyway, Beef's Patsy is only about one hundred times better than Ray's Loretta. I guess dovetailing with the comment about tryng with the boots and wig, and not trying vis-a-vis the medallion and thong; I just enjoyed that Beef looks a great deal more like Patsy Cline than a cartoon of a cat ought to. Light years better. I don't mean to belabor, but Beef is born to this.
In addition, much like the rest of Onstad's work, the starter post of this thread is funny. And the fact that he is cutting people off at the pass to start threads about his own comic makes it just that much funnier. And the fact that he is doing a gentle parody of thread-starters puts butter and syrup on the joke.
Also, much of the above is nearly unintelligible, as I've lately returned home and I'm never any good to anyone for the first little bit.
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Anyway, Beef's Patsy is only about one hundred times better than Ray's Loretta. I guess dovetailing with the comment about tryng with the boots and wig, and not trying vis-a-vis the medallion and thong; I just enjoyed that Beef looks a great deal more like Patsy Cline than a cartoon of a cat ought to. Light years better. I don't mean to belabor, but Beef is born to this.
I agree. I was talking with my sister about how eerily accurate and recognizable a rendition of Patsy Cline's hair that is.
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My pair of Doc Martens, after several years of being beaten up anyway, have finally had a really unfortunate encounter with a swamp and may in fact have ended their utility. I'm pondering a new pair, now, but would really like them to have better traction; strangely enough, my old pair was really, really slippery on ice, to the point that I stopped wearing them in winter. Any advice?
(The off-topicness is going on 'cause it's funny, and at this point it's intertwined too much with the actual thread, so whoa.)
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God, some of you people are thin-skinned. It never occurred to me that Chris might be making fun, rather than just [/i]having[/i] fun until some people started whining about it.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you know who you are.
Chris Onstad wrote:
Always Be Telling People What Kind Of Cereal You Eat Or Used To Eat
All Being Disdainful Of The Biggest Fans Of Your Creative Work
So I was wrong. Apparently Onstad is a dick.
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My pair of Doc Martens, after several years of being beaten up anyway, have finally had a really unfortunate encounter with a swamp and may in fact have ended their utility. I'm pondering a new pair, now, but would really like them to have better traction; strangely enough, my old pair was really, really slippery on ice, to the point that I stopped wearing them in winter. Any advice?
(The off-topicness is going on 'cause it's funny, and at this point it's intertwined too much with the actual thread, so whoa.)
get some small, rounded-head, phillips bit crews, and screw them into the bottom of the soles. the rounded heads will not sink below the surface level, and the phillips "grooves" will give traction.
note: you can use diff screw-types, you get the gyst: don't count-sink or use something that won't stick up.
note2: this will fuck up flooring something awful, so be kind and take them off indoors.
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Custom traction devices.
This can also be unpredictable depending on the surace you are on, so as always, be careful and extra aware when walking/hiking/climbing. People often do themselves serious injuries when traversing seemingly innocuous surfaces.
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God, some of you people are thin-skinned. It never occurred to me that Chris might be making fun, rather than just [/i]having[/i] fun until some people started whining about it.
Get the fuck over yourselves, you know who you are.
Chris Onstad wrote:
Always Be Telling People What Kind Of Cereal You Eat Or Used To Eat
All Being Disdainful Of The Biggest Fans Of Your Creative Work
So I was wrong. Apparently Onstad is a dick.
Va, You..Are..Rad.
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Why is 'dick' an insult, anyway?
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Why is 'dick' an insult, anyway?
You're the cunning linguist, you tell us.
Sorry, I guess I'm being a dick.
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Why is 'dick' an insult, anyway?
You're the cunning linguist, you tell us.
You know, if I'd ever been the kind of linguist that studied anything that interesting, maybe I wouldn't have given it up to be an unemployed poopscooper.
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Why is 'dick' an insult, anyway?
"...a clear distinction between the language of taboo, the language of abuse (invective), and the language of swearing. The three may overlap or coincide: to call someone a shit is to use a taboo word as a term of abuse, and if said with enough emotional force would be considered an act of swearing."
-Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language, p. 173
So basically and in theory, no one likes to be reminded of their genitals.
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That's crap - I love to be reminded of my genitals.
God how I miss them.
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That's crap - I love to be reminded of my genitals.
God how I miss them.
Well, if you'd quit fuck*ng around on the internet and finish unpacking, you could have that little jar back on your desk in thirty minutes, an hour tops.
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That's crap - I love to be reminded of my genitals.
God how I miss them.
Well, if you'd quit fuck*ng around on the internet and finish unpacking, you could have that little jar back on your desk in thirty minutes, an hour tops.
You think I don't have anything? The only problem is everything I have in this situation is so hackneyed, if I posted it I'd have to disappear for six months again.
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Homemade hobnailed Doc's!
awesome
The guys from Minor Threat, back when they were teens, nailed tacks into the bottom of their boots, so they would make bad-ass clicking sounds whilst walking. However, since the tacks were the smooth-headed type, they lost traction, to the point where Ian McKaye was once in a building with a marble floor, went up to a door, pushed it and, instead of moving the door, merely scooted himself back a foot. He eventually had to ask someone for help.
Ian McKaye, all teenaged in punk gear, asking someone to open a door for him....it is the Saddest Thing.
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The only problem is everything I have in this situation is so hackneyed, if I posted it I'd have to disappear for six months again.
NOOOOOOO! Stop! I'm sorry I brought it up!
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The only problem is everything I have in this situation is so hackneyed, if I posted it I'd have to disappear for six months again.
NOOOOOOO! Stop! I'm sorry I brought it up!
I may be emotional right now due to other things, but that's about the sweetest thing someone other than my wife has said to me in quite some time.
The other things include lack of genitals.
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Every time I lurk on this message board the words "Master's dissertation in Sociology" run through my head.
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I hate to think about how many times something someone has said to me on this board has been the highlight of my whole week. I am glad to have returned the favor to someone.
And I am glad that your wife sticks by you sweetly despite your genitalless condition.
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It was aomeone, which is awfully close to anemone, but I appreciate the sentiment.
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Always Give Very Little Personal Information To Your Reading Public
So That They Can
Hell Of Asperse You :o
Like a Rorschach Test
of they selves :shock:
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Most people like gruel.
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Always Give Very Little Personal Information To Your Reading Public
So That They Can
Hell Of Asperse You :o
Like a Rorschach Test
of they selves :shock:
Burma shave.
Chris Onstad, your staid Norwegian name gives you credibility on the subjects of mead, pillaging the Baltic and welfare economies.
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Always Give Very Little Personal Information To Your Reading Public
So That They Can
Hell Of Asperse You :o
Like a Rorschach Test
of they selves :shock:
That is hell of engimatic. Goodness.
edit -- If the Webcomic thing doesn't work out, I think you could have a promising future in the fortune cookie business.
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Don't ignore his obvious capacity for lefse, Bobby. Lefse for all!
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I would just like to state for the record that I have no desire to sprinkle holy water on Chris Onstad.
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That man is just too crafty for me.
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Fuck you.