The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: miles on March 02, 2005, 02:22:45 pm
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I've never put this much (http://slate.com/id/2114132/) thought into it.
God, what a fun research project! I need a job at Slate.
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At the risk of oversharing, I can second their recommendation of the Pleasure Plus. They're a bit harder to find, but worth the effort.
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Yeah, I am hell of weirded out by those warm-up ones. Also, I don't think I could buy condoms called "Kimono" (with lotus leaves on the package no less) without being concerned that the clerk was gonna think that I was into... like... anime and stuff.
I guess it wouldn't be as bad as having to be seen with the "Extended Pleasure" ones, though.
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I guess it wouldn't be as bad as having to be seen with the "Extended Pleasure" ones, though.
***Possible Too Much Information Alert***
Got those once. On accident, I swear! They, well, sucked. Instead of extending the pleasure they actually kinda minimized it. Luckily we had a couple normal ones left, so I was able to switch. Then I threw the rest of the Extended Pleasures away, which I hate doing because condoms are kind of expensive.
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I'm pissed because if I ever do get my junk pierced, I'm going to have to buy specialty condoms from Japan, and yeah, they might think I was into anime.
But I might get a job at a sex shop, so everything works out!
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So you hold "taking a job in a sex shop" as "I have lived a happy and fulfilling life"?
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So you hold "taking a job in a sex shop" as "I have lived a happy and fulfilling life"?
I once was offered a job at Erotic Cabaret in Houston, but turned it down because they needed me to stay through the holidays and I was planning on going home to California.
I think my life would have been somehow different if I had taken that job. More fulfilling, I'd say.
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This is all well and good, but I am reminded that we still never got real closure on the No ##### Day game.
içi (http://achewood.plagiarist.com/viewtopic.php?t=1028&highlight=#####)
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The last time I need to purchase condoms with any frequency I was dating a girl with a latex allergy which was a huge pain in the ass and required us to always to go one certain CVS that carried the plasticy kind.
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Wow. I'd never realised that condom selections were such a nation absed thing. I'm not sure if it's possible to get any of those in the UK.
Although here you can get Virgin condoms. Yes, that's right... Not only are they called Virgin condoms, but they are from Richard Branson (or were 'til he, I'm sure, sold them off). They suck though, if you'll excuse the phrase in this instance.
All that said, you can probably buy American condoms online here.
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I'm pissed because if I ever do get my junk pierced, I'm going to have to buy specialty condoms from Japan, and yeah, they might think I was into anime.
But I might get a job at a sex shop, so everything works out!
The starting job is cleaning off the screens in the 25 cent arcade booths. You got the stomach for that, champ?
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God, no I don't, but the place is just a shop. No room for a movie booth or anything.
And they sell Virgin condoms inside of Virgin megastores here, for a buck a pop, which is TOTAL bullshit. Fuck you, Branson. FUCK YOU.
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And they sell Virgin condoms inside of Virgin megastores here, for a buck a pop, which is TOTAL bullshit. Fuck you, Branson. FUCK YOU.
To be fair, he has nothing to do with Virgin Megastores anymore either. But still, fuck you, Branson!
Oh, and, dude... Don't do it! I couldn't even get my tongue pierced.
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Well, I'm getting my septum done in a few weeks, maybe. If I can deal with that, I'll start putting more serious thought into the penile barb. It's still in the realm of jokes now, but if I'm okay with the needle going into my face, I'll slowly phase out the laughter, maybe.
I like Branson as this bizarre joke character. He seems like the human Ray, to me at least, although since I'm usually an ocean away from him, you probably have different feelings towards him.
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I like Branson as this bizarre joke character. He seems like the human Ray
I can kind of see what you mean. Far too much money and a very inquisitive nature. All we get of him over here is him being terribly english, and then setting off in another fuck*ng balloon.
I don't dislike him, but I tend to find most of his endeavours utterly pointless.
As for piercings, I did always kind of mean to get one. I thought about eyebrow or septum, but kind of went off the idea. In the end I figured having a piece of metal stuck in my face would just annoy me in the end. I don't even wear a watch anymore.
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True condom story. I had just broken up with my girlfriend, and I was going to the beach for the weekend with a big group, so I was gonna be on the prowl. I was discussing with my friend Joel, and he said "You might need a condom. I just bought a bunch, here have a couple."
Carlos: "Dude, these are extra-large."
Joel: "Yes, I find they work quite well." [grins]
Carlos: "Yeah. I'm sure... they'll be fine."
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I'm pissed because if I ever do get my junk pierced, I'm going to have to buy specialty condoms from Japan, and yeah, they might think I was into anime.
But I might get a job at a sex shop, so everything works out!
The starting job is cleaning off the screens in the 25 cent arcade booths. You got the stomach for that, champ?
The position is entitled Jizz-Mopper, Dawg.
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I used to have a public health job where a couple times a month I would go the bathhouse and offer HIV tests to the patrons. They had a dungeon and everything. That was probably the craziest thing I ever had to do for work.
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I think I can top that:
I worked at a porno shop when I was 17 (yes, very illegal as I was well aware). I had applied to work at the owners' non-porno other video store, but they had called me in for an interview and hired me for their other store, which I'd never been to, without bothering to tell me I'd be renting out porn. My boss was an albino who never came out of the back room and he had his mail order Russian bride, Olga, training me. On my second day, there was a really old blind guy who came in, aparently he rented three videos every week, and Olga informed me in broken English that I had to pick out the porno for him, since of course he couldn't see the cases and therefore couldn't tell if he'd rented the videos before or not. I can still remember two of the three titles I picked out for him: "Double Penitration Virgins," and "Fuck Me" (as apposed to "Fuck Me II," which I remember thinking I would have him rent the next week). As he was paying the blind guy said "I'm very sorry, I'm a bad person." and I said "Umm...no...uh...no you're not." I quit on my next shift, not because I didn't like the job - it was a facinating petri dish of humanity, but because my other job at Wal-Mart was offering me more hours and Olga wasn't willing to schedule around my other job. She screamed at me that I couldn't quit now because she and the owner were going on vacation the next week and she didn't have time to train someone else. I then just turned and walked out of the store in the middle of my shift as she continued to yell. I read in the paper a week later that the two of them had skipped town, both video shops had been shut down, and that they owed major money to creditors. I always wonder what would have happened if I had stayed on and been left holding the bag in a adult video store gone belly up.
When it comes to condoms, when I taught sex-ed I used Lifestyles condoms on a rubber dildo to teach horny teens how to put them on right, and the standard is that they are the preferred brand of gay men because they're so tough. Without going into too much personal detail, I don't personally like them and prefer Trojans.
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Raddest. Story. Ever.
Really, side_show, that was marvelous. Not only did you work at a porn shop that was not only run by an albino, with a Russian mail-order bride named Olga, for Christ's sake, you helped a blind mind pick out porn and then boosted his self-esteem. God bless you.
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it was a facinating petri dish of humanity, but because my other job at Wal-Mart
If you'd had a 3rd job at a Brew-Thru then I think that would've been the best possible example of the phrase "petri dish of humanity."
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That is pretty impressive, s_s.
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*takes a bow*
I should add that there was a fun trend I picked up on: see 10% of the store was this front room with normal videos and soft core "Playboy"-type videos and 90% of the store was the side room of porno, so often men would hand me a stack of 3 videos, always stacked in the same order- the top two would be regular movies, and always the last one on the bottom would be the porn. I remember thinking, I wonder if this guy really wants to rent "Weekend at Bernie's" and "My Adventures in Babysitting", or if he's just not comfortable coming to the counter with only a porno.
Also, there was the popular family movie "Teen Wolf," and the grafic adult sex romp, also called "Teen Wolf," and the importance of checking the ID# on the boxes was stressed because of this. Aparently a family had accidentally recived the wrong version of the film from the previous cashier, and hilarity ensued.
Also, all movies starting with "the" were filed under "T" - "The Big Chill," "The Never Ending Story," "The Wiz," etc. - which really bothered me. There was a huge "t" section where the majority of films were filed as result. As far as I'm concerned this was more perverse than anything else that happened in the store.
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Also, all movies starting with "the" were filed under "T" - "The Big Chill," "The Never Ending Story," "The Wiz," etc. - which really bothered me. There was a huge "t" section where the majority of films were filed as result. As far as I'm concerned this was more perverse than anything else that happened in the store.
Hey, your brain works the same way mine does! I would have eventually been fired for trying to convince everyone how absurd that was. And getting angry about it.
Also, your porn-store story makes me think of the "Mr. Show" with the family porn store. And that's good!
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Hey, your brain works the same way mine does! I would have eventually been fired for trying to convince everyone how absurd that was. And getting angry about it.
Ditto
~Paul