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Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: pmcd9 on April 10, 2005, 04:00:21 pm

Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: pmcd9 on April 10, 2005, 04:00:21 pm: You've all seen 'em, no church is complete without a messageboard sign. And they invariably contain a trite pun to such as "Seven Days Without God Makes One Weak." Last night I came across this sign which reads "NEVER PLACE A PERIOD WHERE GOD HAS PLACED A COMMA,
(http://www.paulmcrae.com/images/Miscellany/Misc/DSCN4019-E-500.jpg)
which on the surface seems to follow the recognized convention of being trite, treacly, and punny. I was impressed however by this sign because I think it has a deeper meaning, but i'm not sure. Do you think they are making a commentary on the Teri Schivo case?

~Paul
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: V-Adore on April 10, 2005, 04:13:53 pm: I... think it may just be intended as a joke? Possibly. Maybe.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: pmcd9 on April 10, 2005, 04:21:14 pm: Edit: Ok, I did a little research. Only now as I am posting this picture do I notice there is a url for the church's website (http://www.bethelunitedchurch.com/). I go there and find this picture...
(http://www.bethelunitedchurch.com/stillspeaking.jpg)
So apparently this phrase is like the motto of the Church and not a particular comment on Teri Schivo. Interestingly they credit Gracie Allen (http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/A/htmlA/allengracie/allengracie.htm) with the quote. So I looked deeper again and found This page of quotes (http://www.zaadz.com/quotes/authors/gracie_allen/?page=1). Most of those quotes sound like fortune cookie wisdom and our quote in question would fit right in, however it doesn't appear.

I forgot where I was going with this.

~Paul
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: V-Adore on April 10, 2005, 04:26:22 pm: I'm not even sure what this would theoretically have to do with Terri Schaivo. I believe that you may be, er, stretching it a smidge.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: pmcd9 on April 10, 2005, 04:39:10 pm: Quote from: "V-Adore"
I'm not even sure what this would theoretically have to do with Terri Schaivo. I believe that you may be, er, stretching it a smidge.

when first I saw this sign driving past at 35 mph I read comma as coma. Given the typical nature of these signs it would not have been out of the question to think that they intended it to have a double meaning.

~Paul
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: Max on April 10, 2005, 05:00:14 pm: i thought you meant the vegetative state was a sort of comma, since schiavo was certainly on pause but not ended yet, and that therefore her life should not be 'ended' by a period. that seemed far too clever for a church billboard, though, and sure enough...
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: CortJstr on April 10, 2005, 05:33:41 pm: Yeah, I just read it as a slightly different wording of the whole closes-door/opens-window saying.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: slink on April 10, 2005, 06:05:37 pm: I couldn't help but think it some bizarre thing to do with menstruation and sinfulness or something. Maybe I assume the church too zealous on occasion.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: robot_roll_call on April 10, 2005, 10:40:29 pm: Actually, it's common knowledge that Pope Leo X banned menstruation in 1517. It's grounds for excommunication.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: AlohaDawg on April 10, 2005, 11:14:53 pm: According the news, Terry Shiavo was still having her period while in a coma. So according to Paul's driving and reading God does place periods within comas. So go figure.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: CortJstr on April 11, 2005, 12:02:55 am: Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
According the news, Terry Shiavo was still having her period while in a coma.

Isn't our media just the greatest?
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: pmcd9 on April 11, 2005, 12:59:09 am: I remember now where I was going. This Gracie Allen quote sounds suspiciously like the kind of fake quote that frequently get attributed to someone who never said anything of the sort and then circulated around the internet. George Carlin frequently gets credit for shit he never said. Is this Church in my neighborhood using as it's motto or slogan a fake quote?

It's bizarre enough that they would quote someone whose entire persona is that of a ditzy idiot. Apparently, according to this church, that's where we should look for spiritual advice. But did she even say it? It doesn't sound like her.

Weird.

~Paul
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: arkabee on April 11, 2005, 01:36:07 pm: i thought that rang a bell, and via Le Internett`e, oilla:

a little bit about the UC of C:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_ucca.htm

in more recent news, they aren't able to air their TV ad wherein they
attempt to give money to TV stations in order to tell potential
congregation members that they won't turn anyone away from
their doors:
http://money.cnn.com/2004/12/01/news/fortune500/jesus_ad_ban/

on a side note:
i'm not a christian (amongst other things), because i lack faith.

that being said, as ghandi was asked "what do you think about Christianity" and he replied "I think it would be a good idea", i'd have to agree. It's pretty difficult for even a sarcastic, negative, asshole like me to say "Ya, Jesus was so full of shit when he was all trying to get everyone to be nice to each other and all." you just have to ascend to a whole new level of dickheadness to actively diss Jesus. anyways.

it really pisses me off, though, that there are such a few and small number of self-proclaimed Christians that really don't seem to be such, and make the rest look bad to people like me.

i usually get intrinsically irritated at those church signs, because i'm not reading that message, i'm thinking about all those few amount of people.

that being said, I don't think the UC of C message is a subliminal meme bent on undermeaning my world. they seem like pretty good folk.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: Pedro Picasso on April 11, 2005, 06:02:08 pm: Quote from: "arkabee"
that being said, as ghandi was asked "what do you think about Christianity" and he replied "I think it would be a good idea", i'd have to agree.

I had always heard the quote as "What do you think about Western Civilization?"

Sounds like a Jeopardy question.

Here's another one: "The trivia show Jeopardy always makes you think of this." "What is August West kicking ass?"
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: V-Adore on April 11, 2005, 06:07:07 pm: Quote from: "Pedro Picasso"

Here's another one: "The trivia show Jeopardy always makes you think of this." "What is August West kicking ass?"

The judges would also accept "What is THE FERMULE?"

(Wait, should this go in the Achewood-lingus thread?)
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: arkabee on April 11, 2005, 06:49:44 pm: Quote from: "Pedro Picasso"
Quote from: "arkabee"
that being said, as ghandi was asked "what do you think about Christianity" and he replied "I think it would be a good idea", i'd have to agree.

I had always heard the quote as "What do you think about Western Civilization?"

and you would be correct. he apparently also said ""I consider western Christianity in its practical working a negation of Christ’s Christianity.""

so, it seems as though his actual quote is better than the one that i misquoted him as saying.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: CortJstr on April 11, 2005, 07:46:40 pm: Quote from: "arkabee"
so, it seems as though his actual quote is better than the one that i misquoted him as saying.

Which would be the opposite of Murphy's Law. The version everybody uses is way better than the actual quotation.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: jough on April 11, 2005, 08:30:52 pm: Isn't Murphy's law simply "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."?
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: CortJstr on April 11, 2005, 08:42:01 pm: Quote from: "jough"
Isn't Murphy's law simply "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."?

That's the version most often cited but supposedly the original was, "if there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it."
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: Pedro Picasso on April 11, 2005, 09:04:32 pm: Quote from: "jough"
Isn't Murphy's law simply "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."?

In his elder days Murphy tacked a clause to the back of it. The law then became: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and generally just as I'm sitting down to take a crap."

Incontinence.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: jough on April 11, 2005, 11:18:24 pm: Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "jough"
Isn't Murphy's law simply "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."?

That's the version most often cited but supposedly the original was, "if there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it."

Yeah, that one lacks zing.
Title: Church Signs [redefining scripture as a series of bad puns]
Post by: Va on April 14, 2005, 05:47:15 pm: Montgomery, Alabama has a truly staggering number of churches, and we see hilarious stuff on church marquees all the time. The fun part is that the oh-so-clever stuff they put up can often be converted into an extremely irreligious statement depending on emphasis and punctuation. If I were cool, I could give a particular example, but I'm not.

I have to laugh under my breath anytime someone says "You can't underestimate the power of prayer!" I am in total agreement with that.