The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => History => Topic started by: Va on May 05, 2005, 06:22:08 pm
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By way of context, I am a contractor working for the Air Force. The e-mail reproduced below was sent by a government employee on government time over a government network.
FM family, President Bush has declared today to be a National Day of Prayer. He requested that Americans take time today to humbly seek God's forgiveness for our shortcomings, His blessing on our country, and His protection for our Armed Forces, as well as those people in conflict-torn countries like IRAQ and Afghanistan who desire peace. This is just a reminder of this event since I don't recall seeing any email notice of associated events like there have been in the past. Thanks for your consideration.
PS. To all non-christians: FUCK YOU
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Governor Bush delcared a Jesus Day in Texas. To be fair, I don't think he was the only governor to do this.
But I call bullshit on this email.
Edit: That is, not that there is a national prayer day, but I want to see a direct quote from Bush about asking for forgiveness for our weaknesses. I don't buy that part, but I very well could be wrong.
Edit #2: Here is the President's proclamation (http://www.nationaldayofprayer.org/index.php?action=story_page&story_id=49).
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Two theories about this dumb fuck*ng administration:
(1) The whole Jesus thing is basically an extremely effective way to get the poor and minority groups (which tend to skew religious) on board with a team that would sleep perfectly soundly if someone invented a way to grind Mexican babies into light, sweet crude.
(2) The whole Jesus thing is completely fuck*ng sincere, in which case the people at the wheel give not two tugs of a dead dog's cock about things like sustainability and conservation and maintaining good relationships with other countries because they really believe Miraclem^H^H^H God is going to come swooping down any damn minute now, dish out some no doubt eagerly anticipated and deeply satisfying Revenge on the Heathen, and establish a utopia.
Look at it this way, Va. At least you and I are white and speak fluent English. This will make it easier for us to pass as Good Christians when the corporate-owned and operated theocracy is finally locked into place.
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Fuck him and fuck his God.
In the ass.
With spurs on.
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(2) The whole Jesus thing is completely fuck*ng sincere, in which case the people at the wheel give not two tugs of a dead dog's cock about things like sustainability and conservation and maintaining good relationships with other countries because they really believe Miraclem^H^H^H God is going to come swooping down any damn minute now, dish out some no doubt eagerly anticipated and deeply satisfying Revenge on the Heathen, and establish a utopia.
Didn't James Watt, Reagan's Secretary of the Interior, say that we shouldn't worry about the environment because of the Second Coming?
I don't care if you believe that to be the case, but that kind of reasoning is scary shit.
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"His" Sorry but the Judeo-Christian diety is gender-neutral. What ding-bat even wrote this e-mail? Besides, my God can totally kick his god's ass. His god is all bein' my God's little bitch.
See also (http://www.insidepulse.com/articles/37228). Scroll down to "UP IN THE AIR, JUNIOR BIRDMEN"
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When I worked on base (pre-baby), I used to love flipping off the pictures of Bush and Rumsfeld that hang in the lobby of the building I worked in.
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Somewhere there must surely be a written policy on proper use of DoD/USAF/base e-mail systems. And surely this don't meet it.
I suggest replying to all and asking when the National Day for Appeals to Satan is. Satan Satan SATAN!
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If I didn't need my job, I so would.
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I like how IRAQ is now an anagram of something. Something ominous I suspect.
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I like how IRAQ is now an anagram of something. Something ominous I suspect.
Holy shit I just cracked the code
Iraq's
Running
Al
Queda
Of course it's recursive, it's a clever anagram
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If you're keen on Jesus wouldn't every day be a day of prayer anyway? This is like the psuedo-religious version of Mother's Day.
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thank you for posting the link to the national day of prayer thing.
because,
i was on my way to a service call, and i decided to swing by the bank to make my car payment so i could continue to have my car so that i could pay taxes through using it to purchase things, thus give the government and banks lots of money,
when at the drive thru what did appear?
a hastily printed note saying they were closed from 11:00 to 1:30 top honor a National Day of Prayer.
my immediate response was probably unprintable,
but i was vastly consoled as i pulled out and stopped at the corner
as i watched the fedex guy get out of his truck and walk to the front door of the bank.
as he approached, his posture took on the classic "i'm approaching a door with a sign taped up, uh oh, are they closed?" body language,
so,
apparently fed ex didn't know about htis either.
so,
the government wants us to pray, huh?
is that a good sign?
of course,
http://www.augustafreepress.com/stories/storyReader$34064
kind of makes me think that the government doesn't want me to pray unless i pray like the government.
sweet.
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Yeah, when the government just gets on media outlets and goes, Alright, I guess it's time to count on the power of prayer.....
I can't wait until we rename IRAQ. I propose IRU.
Iraq's
Not
Unix
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*shudder*
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And now a church has booted some of its members for the unforgiveable sin of being Democrats.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/5/211218/4946
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And now a church has booted some of its members for the unforgiveable sin of being Democrats.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/5/211218/4946
Shouldn't they lose their tax-exempt status for that?
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Hells yeah. Kos and similar sites have action items to rat them out to the IRS, contact the press, etc.
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Ah, and in my home state, even. Thank God I'm Lutheran.
My mother told me before the election that if I chose to vote Kerry, God would forgive me. I guess that's only slightly better than this pastor. And she wonders why I've never disclosed my vote to her. I just tell her, "There's a reason we have a secret ballot in this country," and "I'm voting in a way consistent with how you raised me -- to think independently." It drives her crazy, but she'll never crack me.
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Ah, and in my home state, even. Thank God I'm Lutheran.
My mother told me before the election that if I chose to vote Kerry, God would forgive me. I guess that's only slightly better than this pastor. And she wonders why I've never disclosed my vote to her. I just tell her, "There's a reason we have a secret ballot in this country," and "I'm voting in a way consistent with how you raised me -- to think independently." It drives her crazy, but she'll never crack me.
You could just say you voted for the candidate who would do the most to help the poor, just like Jesus would.
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And also who wasn't so gung-ho about war. Just like Jesus.
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Which would be neither of them. Kerry voted for the war, he voted for the PATRIOT Act. The difference between Bush and Kerry would fit in a flea's asshole.
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The difference between Bush and Kerry would fit in a flea's asshole.
you believe that had Kerry won the Presidency, he would have spent millions of tax dollars setting up staged "town hall" events that only allowed supporters in to convince those supporters that Social Security needs to be overhauled into a Welfare System? that had he then went on to win re-election, he would re-nominate extreme judicial nominees that had been fairly rejected in his first term in an effort to destroy the very purpose of the minority-voiced Senate in its relation to the majority-voiced House?
or do you just believe that those two things, for instance, would fit in a flea's asshole?
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Oh, shit, could we please not do this here?
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Limmo's objections noted. Guys, this sort of thing can go to PM -- I hate to be the fascist mod here and start giving out Onion Offense cards, but I'm watching this thread and will consider locking it.
Why don't we all go talk about snacks instead? I think that would be fun. Everyone likes snacks! Also I hear there are fun threads about music, books, and booze active, and I presume that, from the set of {music, books, booze, snacks}, there is at least one you like and would like to post about.
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Limmo's objections noted. Guys, this sort of thing can go to PM -- I hate to be the fascist mod here and start giving out Onion Offense cards, but I'm watching this thread and will consider locking it.
Why don't we all go talk about snacks instead? I think that would be fun. Everyone likes snacks! Also I hear there are fun threads about music, books, and booze active, and I presume that, from the set of {music, books, booze, snacks}, there is at least one you like and would like to post about.
We could also talk about porn. I mean, that's better than a pointless than arguing which politician is worse, right? RIGHT?
Breast Attack on Fuck Mountain REPRESENT
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Vote for this guy. (http://inappropriatelydressed.com/archives/003922.php)
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Mantonio, you're a gentleman and a scholar.
So, I pose the question to all: how precisely would you go about launching a Breast Attack on Fuck Mountain? Assume unlimited resources.
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If I had access to unlimited breasts, Do you really think I would launch an attack on fuck mountain?
He's got fuck mines, I have unlimited breasts - sounds like an opportunity for trade to me.
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I read it as being attacked by Breasts while I was on Fuck Mountain. The only question is if they were floating breasts on their own (or in pairs, anyway) or if there were women attached.
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And thusly did the thread title take on an entirely new meaning
and it was good
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Yeah, clearly the protagonist is minding his own business on Fuck Mountain when he is attacked by breasts.
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Maybe he randomly grows breasts during his stay on said mountain a la an 'attack' of the hives.
______
Urticaria.
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Mantonio, you're a gentleman and a scholar.
So, I pose the question to all: how precisely would you go about launching a Breast Attack on Fuck Mountain? Assume unlimited resources.
Ummmmmmm, I don't have breasts, nor am I any sort of military genius. Should such a grave responsibility devolve upon me, however, I would would assemble an army of buxum young lass's and send them up the mountain and request that they fuck every single humanoid of legal age they can find. Anyone who pulls a Mary Kay Letourno will be courtmarshalled.