The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: CortJstr on June 05, 2005, 05:26:55 pm
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Great. Now Pat's posting his poetry. Great job, Onstad. Look what you've subjected us to.
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Man, I can't believe Onstad has kept up the blogs this long. I haven't read them in a few months although I did check out Pat's poem - I was going to lay down some hardcore explication here but then I remembered that I had more important things to do, like lay on my futon and really listen to the Killers's "Hot Fuss" because I was told that the reason I thought it was derivative dreck was because I didn't really listen to it. It gets one more listen before it gets deep sixed into erased bit oblivion.
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ENGLISH MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
GARBAGE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
LIMEY BROOOOOOOAAAAAAAD
EELS AN' COOOOOOOOOOOOOD
EAT A FUCKIN PASTRY PIE
AIN'T TOO SOON THAT YOU WOULD DIE
WHATCHA GOT
WHATCHA GOT
That is about the PERFECT chant for a soccer match, right there. I would maybe say "WHATCHA GOT" three times, but picture yourself inside some 1930's-era stadium, with crappy seats because they put them in 50 years later when they were forced to, chanting that with 50,000 others, and tell me you don't want to go bash some cheeky bastard's face in with a bottle because YOU 'ORE THA WRONG COLORS ON THIS DAY, MATE.
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Dude, I want to see Teodor's pilot. It sounds just good/bad enough for some studio exec to get his hands (paws?) on it and ruin/fix it.
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I agree totally - I don't watch cooking shows, but that sounds hell of awesome. My boy Cornelius just got it plain wrong here.
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I just can't imagine white wine shooting out of a fountain that used to be for Sprite.
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"and hundreds more are to follow"
Also, Burlington? Wouldn't have thought that was a Patlike place.
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How sublime is an old soft drink dispenser that now shoots such as chicken stock and olive oil?! Take that, Alton Brown, you hack!
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How sublime is an old soft drink dispenser that now shoots such as chicken stock and olive oil?! Take that, Alton Brown, you hack!
And a fire extiguisher is a multitasker because you can use it to chill a six-pack in 3 minutes.
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How sublime is an old soft drink dispenser that now shoots such as chicken stock and olive oil?! Take that, Alton Brown, you hack!
And a fire extiguisher is a multitasker because you can use it to chill a six-pack in 3 minutes.
Thanks, Mythbusters!
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Philippe is the greatest poet of the 21st century. Other poets are still scrambling over the wreckage of the language they trashed, and they will never catch up to Philippe since he is now very far ahead of them. Too far ahead of them, in the view of many.
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Ray's theory on the creation of the Russian alphabet is glorious. That will make me chuckle for a while. But I totally didn't need that mental image of Spongebath.
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You have to admit that it does need to be one hell of a party for that to happen to such a per...
stuf...
ca...
being.
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It's like the Risotto Wars except we have to read Pat's poetry. In other words this is much much worse.
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"My journal is as deep as the waters of the disenfranchised." Pat
that is an eleven. i don't even have the words.
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Gotta love checking up on blogs and finding this:
--> :) <--
This and "dirtcrap" have made my day.
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Geez, just how distinctive can this car be? What, did he get a rainbow metal flake Prowler or something?
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This and "dirtcrap" have made my day.
Yes, dirtcrap is splendid.
~Paul
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No, Onstad's not paranoid at all. Not a bit.
~Paul
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He looks so skinny in those track photos.
He only THINKS I use NIN cds. I use AOL cd's!!
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Man, nobody's stalkin' Onstad over the internet. His dog, of course, is another case entirely, but hey.
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Man, nobody's stalkin' Onstad over the internet. His dog, of course, is another case entirely, but hey.
Didn't somebody track down the stuff he did for his college humor magazine back on Dumbrella?
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Man, nobody's stalkin' Onstad over the internet. His dog, of course, is another case entirely, but hey.
Didn't somebody track down the stuff he did for his college humor magazine back on Dumbrella?
At the risk of becoming serious for a moment, I would argue that they're different circumstances. Onstad is a humorist, and thus tracking down his earlier humorous works is at least somewhat germane to his current output. It doesn't strike me as particularly stalkerish, especially given that he published some of it later (the Ranier Beer strip).
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Gotta love checking up on blogs and finding this:
--> :) <--
This and "dirtcrap" have made my day.
I do not understand what Pat is trying to accomplish. Blogging his poetry as a form of aggression? Foolish, and so un-Pat-like. Burning the poetry into Onstad's lawn with lye or something, or perhaps researching the decibel limits of public performance on the street and hosting a Support Group poetry slam in front of 'stad's house... but how is he accomplishing anything? It's not like he can strap anyone down and make them listen to it Clockwork Orange/Vogon style.
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Blogging his poetry as a form of aggression? Foolish, and so un-Pat-like
Foolish? Yes, certainly.
Un-Pat-like? No, not really. Bear in mind: as far as Pat's concerned, the universe revolves around Pat. Maybe people admire him or maybe they hate him, but nobody just doesn't give a shit what Pat puts in his blog. If someone doesn't like his poetry, it's because that person is an enemy and doubtless will shit himself in terror on learning that Pat Reynolds can't be intimidated into not blogging his poetry. The silent majority that is Pat's devoted reader base will cheer him on, but Pat doesn't fight this battle for them. He fights it for the principle of free speech.
He is fighting a one-man war on everything and the only witness is the clerk whose job is to throw away crank lawsuits.
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I think Ben pretty much has it. Furthermore, Pat believes that the truth and beauty of his poetry is such that anyone who reads it on his blog will become an instant convert and will join him in protesting the harsh, harsh world that would ban his work. Eventually even Onstad will be forced to respect him. As far as he's concerned, the parable of Tamara is just speaking truth to power.
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I just tried to look at those pictures of Chris and my company's internet filter said that it was pornography. It just wasn't meant to be looked at.
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Man, nobody's stalkin' Onstad over the internet. His dog, of course, is another case entirely, but hey.
Didn't somebody track down the stuff he did for his college humor magazine back on Dumbrella?
At the risk of becoming serious for a moment, I would argue that they're different circumstances. Onstad is a humorist, and thus tracking down his earlier humorous works is at least somewhat germane to his current output. It doesn't strike me as particularly stalkerish, especially given that he published some of it later (the Ranier Beer strip).
This is absolutely normal. If I read someone's book and like it, I go and read their earlier books. If I read someone's work on the internet and like it, of course I would go and try to read more of that too.
Still having the link to the dog show results, on the other hand, could be argued to be creepy, but I maintain that it's just because I never clean anything out of my bookmarks.
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At the risk of becoming serious for a moment, I would argue that they're different circumstances. Onstad is a humorist, and thus tracking down his earlier humorous works is at least somewhat germane to his current output. It doesn't strike me as particularly stalkerish, especially given that he published some of it later (the Ranier Beer strip).
Are these early comics still about anywhere (apart from the beer one of course)? My curiousity has been piqued
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At the risk of becoming serious for a moment, I would argue that they're different circumstances. Onstad is a humorist, and thus tracking down his earlier humorous works is at least somewhat germane to his current output. It doesn't strike me as particularly stalkerish, especially given that he published some of it later (the Ranier Beer strip).
Are these early comics still about anywhere (apart from the beer one of course)? My curiousity has been piqued
There's early artwork on display here (http://www.chrisonstad.com/).
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First I thought that the idea of Mr. Bear "porking" would win for today. Then Philippe decided enough with the poetry so I thought that would win. But I was unprepared for "She insouciantly strolled up to the table despite the sudden and strong interest I had taken in my watch."
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I'm sorry, but:
Onstad, if the Julio's Delicious Sauce anecdote accurately reflects reality and your feelings about it, you're a dick. Honestly.
At least use the freakin' salad dressing. Throwing it out because of shame is just crass.
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I'm sorry, but:
Onstad, if the Julio's Delicious Sauce anecdote accurately reflects reality and your feelings about it, you're a dick. Honestly.
At least use the freakin' salad dressing. Throwing it out because of shame is just crass.
The blogs are obviously written in the voice of Onstad the character so I assume this is an amplification of his actual personality. Because obviously you could treat this stuff as one would a nice balsamic vinegar and only use it occasionally, saving the $1.50 stuff for day-to-day use.
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A computer should be a fun place to be!
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A computer should be a fun place to be!
I think this is going to be my new mod quote whenever people start taking this too seriously. Perhaps I will write it on the Onion Offense cards.
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Molly needs to update her blog.
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Molly needs to update her blog.
Seriously. Especially given the, er, not totally optimistic tone of Beef's latest poetry. Are there Relationship Problems?
(Also, I hope I am not alone in liking Beef's poetry at least partially unironically.)
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Also, I hope I am not alone in liking Beef's poetry at least partially unironically.
Not so much the current ones, but I always think his dangerous food poems are awesome.
Meanwhile does anyone else really like how Pat tries to communicate (what I'm assuming is) a dramatic pause?
, — ,
Writing poetry showing how he really understands the suffering of people in times gone by is so perfect for Pat's character that I can't stop smiling.
I really like Cornelius' apology drinking game.
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"Chateauneuf-du-Pape" = Pope's new castle.
That is a great thing.
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Are there Relationship Problems?
There will always be relationship problems.
~Paul
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As far as I can tell, Onstad totally cooked up that Calvados ritual with the five glasses.
That is some excellent fiction and I think I will adopt/adapt the ritual for tomorrow's Summer Solstice dinner.
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I will buy Nice Pete's book when it is offered for sale.
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I will buy Nice Pete's book when it is offered for sale.
As will I. If Onstad actually sells this, I will probably buy merch again. Yay!
Also looking forward to the celebrity-chef-Tex-Mex hijinks with Molly. This could prove to be pretty funny.
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er...a little tired of Molly's lack of ability to find/hold a decent job. Although she does seem to be moving ever so slowly up the restaurant ladder.