The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Bobby Isosceles on July 05, 2005, 02:10:25 pm
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Very Fight Club-esque method of the service class getting back at the management class under the uncaring scrutinizing eye of cable television.
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I need to know who Little Nephew's parents are. Ray's obviously lacking in the clue department, but he has a brother or sister whose progeny is quite bright.
"i be makin' mobius money" is genius, all.
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Beef's dialect change lately utterly confounds me. That said, the Butte shenanigans are enjoyable, and I am honestly looking forward to the continuing Saga of Curpeter. A modern-day Beowulf, indeed. (Also, yes, LN is apparently quite bright. Has he been mooching off Mr. Bear lately?)
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So Teodor was overcharging Ray for the party stuff and pocketing the profits. I know Ray is hella decadent and all, but does this really seem like something Teodor would have no qualms about doing?
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So Teodor was overcharging Ray for the party stuff and pocketing the profits. I know Ray is hella decadent and all, but does this really seem like something Teodor would have no qualms about doing?
Since Ray stopped losing at pool they need some way to get some cash off of him. Plus Teodor was charging a premium for his mad chef skills.
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So Teodor was overcharging Ray for the party stuff and pocketing the profits. I know Ray is hella decadent and all, but does this really seem like something Teodor would have no qualms about doing?
I remember we talked about Ray seeming to pretty much swindle himself as a contrived way of sharing his wealth with friends (making lavish bets he cannot possibly win, etc). I guess this might be the next logical step; Téodor can come off as sort of grimly contemptuous of Ray, so he probably figures that Ray would never make the mental connection, and even if he did, just blow it off without a confrontation.
Remember, this is a dude who wrote a ten thousand dollar check to Oreos. It's not the money so much as the fact that his friend was being overcharged.
On preview: yeah, what CJ said, maybe.
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So Teodor was overcharging Ray for the party stuff and pocketing the profits. I know Ray is hella decadent and all, but does this really seem like something Teodor would have no qualms about doing?
I remember we talked about Ray seeming to pretty much swindle himself as a contrived way of sharing his wealth with friends (making lavish bets he cannot possibly win, etc).
I dunno. I could totally see this except that Ray seems totally oblivious to the company who's charging too much being Teodor's last name backwards. If Ray knew I think he would let Teodor keep doing it maybe just hint to only charge double instead of quintuple or something.
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So, any guesses as to what Ray is hinting at in the last part of his post?
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It could be Chris Bell, of Big Star, Dennis Boon, from the Minutemen, Kurt Cobain, Les Harvey, of Stone the Crows, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, one of the guys from Wings, one of the guys from the Dead, Jim Morrison, and Gary Thain, from Uriah Heep.
I'm betting the party will be a "come as a rock star who died at 27." There's a LOT of 'em. I'll bet Teodor goes as Dennis Boon.
I found all of this on this (http://www.av1611.org/rockdead.html) really, really creepy site. DO YOU CHOOSE LIFE?
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It could be Chris Bell, of Big Star, Dennis Boon, from the Minutemen, Kurt Cobain, Les Harvey, of Stone the Crows, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, one of the guys from Wings, one of the guys from the Dead, Jim Morrison, and Gary Thain, from Uriah Heep.
Excellent. Now, whose death among those would Ray need a stuntman to properly emulate?
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It could be Chris Bell, of Big Star, Dennis Boon, from the Minutemen, Kurt Cobain, Les Harvey, of Stone the Crows, Jimi Hendrix, Robert Johnson, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, one of the guys from Wings, one of the guys from the Dead, Jim Morrison, and Gary Thain, from Uriah Heep.
Excellent. Now, whose death among those would Ray need a stuntman to properly emulate?
Cobain, the shotgun to the face is a very difficult stunt.
~Paul
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Or Boon. A van comes flying up and crashes into a telephone pole out in front of Rays house, a dude comes flying out and lands on his feet. It's BOON!
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I loved Pat's latest blog, especially this part:
I took out my checkbook (I would naturally stop payment on the check as soon as I got home) and asked how much for the men's trim. The fuck*ng bitch receptionist said "fifty-five dollars." I said "don't quit your day job" and readied my pen to scribble down a more reasonable sum, such as zero dollars or as much as six.
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Yeah, Pat's latest one is good. I love "despicably average".
I wonder how many of Pat's entries are culled from Onstad's own life.
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I looked like a god-damned magazine person.
Man, when Pat is on, he is my top-dollar favorite.
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Granted $55 is an absolutely criminal amount to charge for a haircut but shouldn't Pat have asked that before sitting down? And why would anybody want to look like they were on That 70's Show?
Clearly Beef has yet to lay his eyes on the Swiss Army USB drive (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/6b3b/). The description even fits in with his blog
We realize this gorgeous Swiss Army knife, with a built-in USB flash drive, is probably causing you to become very excited and thus filling you with an almost uncontrollable urge to immediately add this item to your cart (and hey, we certainly won't stop you). This is a geek's dream gadget brought to life - and with very little standing between you and your acquisition of this bad boy, we can fully understand your elation.
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I love how Beef's post goes from being sublimely happy about being able to get the knife to totally depressed about how he spends too much money.
Dang, Beef. Get you that knife, forget the old lady and just go off into the woods and have a good ol' time!
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Hell, now I want the Swiss Army USB drive. Badly. Oh Jesus.
I can't believe nobody's commented on Lyle's last poem yet. I mean, helicopter delicopter? What makes Lyle even think of this stuff? (Besides, obviously, booze.)
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Hell, now I want the Swiss Army USB drive. Badly. Oh Jesus.
V, in that case. Do NOT (http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/input/785b/) browse (http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/input/77ba/) the rest of of Think Geek. I cannot (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/77e6/) stress (http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/input/7730/) this (http://www.thinkgeek.com/cubegoodies/toys/6708/) enough.
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"Douche Science" would be an excellent name for a punk band that Onstad will not pay $13/mo to listen to on XM Radio.
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I'm going to assume that CP was just messing with Teodor here. But I can't decide if Beef's entry was a happy one or the saddest thing.
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"Female Partition Jesus" makes up for Onstad's timely riffing on That Tom Cruise; He Is Zany. I think.
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Beef's entry is happy! He stood up for himself.
But Teodor's is extremely disturbing.
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Is it just Teodor who has classist tendencies, or is it Onstad in the guise of Teodor, who is in fact the classist?
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Is it just Teodor who has classist tendencies, or is it Onstad in the guise of Teodor, who is in fact the classist?
You should read Ilium. At one point they start debating if the Wil in the sonnets is Shakespeare or not.
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The Molly post is just... enh. More of Molly's restaurant career not being fantabulous. Been there, done that. The Beef post is pretty nice, though.
The Onstad post is one of the times I've hoped most fervently that Onstad's blog is in no way a reflection of his real life, because damn, weird and incoherent this week. You can also tell that he's Californian because he rates "can go on snow" as a feature on the caliber of the eep-eep door-opening noise. What the hell, people.
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I rate "can go on snow" as an I would like to pay less and have you remove this feature level.
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The Teador post left me feeling kinda sorry for CP until Teador wrote this: "I'm not sure what to do with a guy who apparently does nothing with his palate other than draw the beef curtains, if I may make a food/cunnilingus analogy."
This left me cringing and laughing at the same time. Nicely done, Mr. Onstad, nicely done.
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I rate "can go on snow" as an I would like to pay less and have you remove this feature level.
Right, because the first feature I want removed from my car to lower the price is "ability to be driven even in adverse weather conditions." Right on.
:roll:
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Right, because the stated adverse weather condition never crosses my path. I thought you knew I lived in South Texas.
~Paul
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"Female Partition Jesus" makes up for Onstad's timely riffing on That Tom Cruise; He Is Zany. I think.
"Makes up for," nothing. "Celebrity mousse" is gold.
Going on snow isn't something anyone who lives in the SF Bay Area would want to pay extra for, unless that person spent a lot of time going to Tahoe for skiing purposes, or had relatives in snow country. This place just never goes below 40 F.
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Y'know, my most recent car was not particularly adept on snow, and I was like, "Meh. How much driving do I do in snow?"
And then the winter came, and any time we got a half an inch of snow, I'd be sitting at home, because I didn't want to die in my winter deathtrap.
Even if there's no/very little snow where you're at, think about the places you won't be able to go! Except Paul, I don't think I'd drive any 12 hours from Texas to go somewhere snowy. Dawg, you're off the hook, too. But Californians can't be restricted to the coast because their cars have no winter abilities!
I'm done now. Ability to go on snow should definitely be considered, basically irrespective of where you live.
Also, I'm having difficulty deciding about CP - just when I thought he was pretty OK, what with the initiation and his excellent private plane, it's revealed that he thinks Budweiser is the pinnacle of beers. Now, being from St. Louis, I have to defend him somewhat, but as a person who enjoys beer, I can hardly stand to see this sort of opinion go unchallenged. The fact that he didn't seem to notice Teodor's substitution means that maybe all is lost on him.
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Yeah, what acoxcae said -- unless you never plan on driving that car out of South Texas, you might want to consider some snow capacity at all. I may just be jaded about this because of how many people I knew in Nebraska who were totally housebound when there was any snow on the roads at all. ('Dawg gets a pass due to never facing the prospect of a road trip.)
The CP thing confuses me because he seemed like, well, the kind of guy who would enjoy the finer things in life (thus his hanging around with Teodor and Ray instead of Lyle and Todd). How much of a sham is this dude?
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"Can go on Snow" translates, though - I do use fourwheel drive here occasionally. There are some beaches on the northwest end of the island you can drive right onto, and driving on sand can be tough too - also, I like that i can park on piles of rubble, or drive over huge tree roots and other things you find at the places where I paddle, and these kind of things are related to "can go on Snow"....
Being from NE Ohio, and Chicago, though, I can tell you that "Can go on Snow" is much more a reflection of the skill of the driver than the vehicle. I loved driving my Ford Escort past spun-out trucks and SUVs in the medians of I-80 and I-71. A beautiful thing.
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We're talking about traction. Yes, you need traction. That is a given. I agree with AD though, that the skill of the driver is the most important factor that determines "can go on snow." I was simply making light of the fact that I live in a region that rarely gets snowed upon.
~Paul
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If it ever happened, though, (Snow on Houston) it would sure #$%^ everyone up and close down the town for a week or so.
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We actually had the biggest snow storm of my lifetime last Christmas eve. We survived.
(http://www.andyland.com/g/nyc_snow/houston_intersection.jpg)
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these blogs continue to be the best thing to have ever happened to webcomics
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You’re not fat, dude! But your body has reached a certain...believability.
I'm going to start saying this to any chunky guys I know from now on. I wonder for what reason Ray was high, if not because of the 4:20 thing.
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Christ on a stick but Teodor's new blog is great.
"Thanks. Alright, see you around."
:D
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Lyle's post today gave me a laugh.
As a child a favorite 'take off' expression was to tell someone to "go pee up a rope". Except being young and all it came out often as "go pee a' rope".
Lyle can pee a rope.
Lyle needs to start drinking booze thats a little less embalmy.
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I'll never be able to think of a funnel cake without also thinking of Lyle's urine. THANK YOU THIS IS WHAT I WANTED FOREVER
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Instead of "more water," Lyle might want to try "less tranny fux."
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http://www.blackanddeckerappliances.com/product_detail.asp?T1=APP%20TMB10
This is a good idea for a thing to have.
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Two comments. First, Mr. Bear, you are so totally off base. Tomato season should never end. Just yesterday I was saddened by the fact that the local homegrown supply has dried up. It's a very sad thing. Also, it's a very spoiled life you lead that you feel you have cause to complain when you are being fed gourmet fare daily.
Second comment. Mr. Onstad, you are an egomaniac.
~Paul
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I'm not seeing how the toaster oven in question is that hard to find. Although I myself went to like 4 stores yesterday looking for a phone for my parents. He's probably in the same boat of wanting a feature combination that the manufacturers never anticipated.
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Do you know what riles me more than a strip lacking of comedic merit?
Onstad's obsession with food.
Boring and not even vaguely amusing.
Phillipe bashing a haiku in with a baseball bat however is rad.
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God, I never usually read the blog threads. I suppose I should feel like a total dork for having emailed him with the info he needed about toaster oven mounting hoods? I've never written a fawning fan letter to anyone, but I do like to help a guy out.
I worked at Wal-Mart's small appliances for three years people, three years! I can't help but go into customer service mode when information is asked of me. It's programmed into my DNA. And if any one of you wanted to know about toaster ovens, philishave razors, dirt devils, etc etc, I would have shared the same information with you, even if you asked in a mildly pandering, sarcastic and/or demeaning way.
Do you know I took a shopping cart to the hip that knocked me to the ground? That's right people. Veterans still have something to contribute to society.
And besides, toaster ovens are awesome. I was a toaster oven fan years before I was and Achewood fan. So Screw you. Screw you all.
Dear god, working from home has turned me into a strange creature. Defensive? Yes. Regretful? No.
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God, I never usually read the blog threads. I suppose I should feel like a total dork for having emailed him with the info he needed about toaster oven mounting hoods?
You just want to have your name written on the door in sharpie. Don't feed his ego.
~Paul
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You just want to have your name written on the door in sharpie. Don't feed his ego.
Ego? You want ego, go read Pat's latest.
I know it's been said a dozenty times already, but I'll say it again anyway:
Pat is a fuck*ng DICK.
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Do you know what riles me more than a strip lacking of comedic merit?
Onstad's obsession with food.
Boring and not even vaguely amusing.
A negative comment? From you? I feel like throwing you a bar mitzvah.
I was a toaster oven fan years before I was and Achewood fan. So Screw you. Screw you all.
Hey, I'm also a fan of toaster ovens and other unfairly marginalized kitchen appliances. Still, I'm surprised that you actually wrote in with the appropriate advice; the tone of that blog entry was pretty much "I am going to look down on you for helping me out, and you will like it". Anyway, yeah, toaster ovens are terrific, but only if they're the old style with the timers that go rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hell, I think I'm more or less nostalgic for my grandmother's kitchen, even that old Radarange that was probably about as safe as an exposed atomic pile.
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Also, it's a very spoiled life you lead that you feel you have cause to complain when you are being fed gourmet fare daily.
I always feel bad reading these blog entries, knowing that I'll never get to try the foods that these fictional stuffed animals are constantly describing. But not that bad, I guess.
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I need closure on Ray's party, dammit, and this waffle about ovens is stopping that!
Plus I eat English food so i'm just jealous.
*eats black pudding*
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atomic pile.
That sounds like a sales feature of a 60's era carpet.
~Paul
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atomic pile.
That sounds like a sales feature of a 60's era carpet.
~Paul
/golf claps
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I think the best cooking gadget ever has to be this. (http://www.sportsimportsltd.com/12volporovan.html)
Shove your toaster over up your ass. I can make a pizza IN MY CAR.
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I think the best cooking gadget ever has to be this. (http://www.sportsimportsltd.com/12volporovan.html)
Shove your toaster over up your ass. I can make a pizza IN MY CAR.
Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public.
The Universe is an infinitely vast place, which is expanding at the speed of light, in all directions. New planets, galaxies, possibly even living creatures, are being created and born throughout the cosmos. All of this majesty and wonder of the heavens above SUCKS ASS COMPARED TO MY PIZZA.
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atomic pile.
That sounds like a sales feature of a 60's era carpet.
~Paul
/golf claps
The oldsters used to call hemmorhoids piles too. An atomic pile would, I guess, be a pretty bad one.
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The oldsters used to call hemmorhoids piles too. An atomic pile would, I guess, be a pretty bad one.
Not necessarily considering the size of most atoms
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Mmmm! The Rock Star died at 27! I called it! STICK WITH THE KID!
This is a magnificent post. Just really, really great. And the fact that Ray's reaction is to spread garlic around, to ward off Jimi Hendrix....I LOVES it.
EDIT- I read it again.
If anything, it should have just shut itself off, as per the First Law of *****s.
YESSS! YESSSS!
This is seriously SO DAMN FUNNY.
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My first question here is what is up with umlauts on the second vowel of a repeated vowel in a word? I never see that anywhere other than the New Yorker, but they do it consistently. Is reelected really supposed to be reëlected?
If so, how does Ray know this while I do not?
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Ray would not know any of Asimov's rules of *****s. PLAUSIBILITY: DENIED.
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Mmmm! The Rock Star died at 27! I called it! STICK WITH THE KID!
Mentok?
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The diaresis lets you know that the two vowels have disparate syllables. It's not an umlaut.
For instance, the diaresis lets you know that preëminent:
pre-EM-in-ent
and not
PREEM-in-ent.
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Mentok?
THE MINNNNNDDDDDTAKER! OOOOOOOEEEEOOOO!
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I am never recommending a toaster oven to anyone ever again. God I feel so dirty.
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"It is like having a basic earthworm beside me, only it is a worm that seems like it might be able to learn and hate"
I almost started a new topic just to post this.
This has made my week already.
So entertained.
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Blogs: A-
While Chris shows a thorough understanding of the blog form, his failure to notify readers that he'd already vetoed the most viable of his toaster oven options shows the subtle flaws in his methodology. He makes up for this later with a perfect showing re: Beef's new knife. Also, his explanation for Philippe's late night with his shoes is an excellent thing to behold.
Teodor needs to quit being down on himself just because some flaky Bud-drinking porn star gave him the slip - he's still got an awesome caftan out of the deal.