The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: jough on July 07, 2005, 02:45:27 pm
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When you see a spam subject line that says "Last Longer In Bed" and your first thought is that it's for sleeping pills, not boner pills.
"Man, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately..."
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Most awkward moment at the children's theatre:
Imagine me in my colourful office full of puppets, costumes, etc. My boss who is a soft spoken man with two children that he talks about all the time, has his desk directly across from mine. Photos of children and illustrations from kids books on the wall behind him.
My Boss: I keep getting junk mail, even though I've got a filter on! Look at this "Thicker, fuller erections!"
Me: Um...
My Boss: They're so blatent in their language too!
Me: Yeah. Maybe you should call our technician.
My Boss: I don't know, maybe I do want thicker, fuller erections. With the amount of mail I get about it, it must be a problem right?
Me: Um... I'm just going to the copier, I'll be right back.
Conclusion: It is not possible to have a converstation with your boss about erectile disfunction when there is a picture of Winnie the Pooh right behind him.
or ever.
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How do you Godwin a thread that starts out talking about dick pills?
Just asking, this monkey don't want to stop no show.
~Paul
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How do you Godwin a thread that starts out talking about dick pills?
Just asking, this monkey don't want to stop no show.
~Paul
To take this off topic for a moment, I find it a lovely coincidence that I was listening to Gillian Welch's "One Monkey"("One monkey don’t stop the show...") as I read Paul's comment.
Please return to your phallocentric discussions. I'm trying to remember if I have anything to add....
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I work with several women who are either pregnant or have just had a child. And, as I'm sure others can vouch for, these women have absolutely no patience with trying for propriety or dancing around subjects. They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it. Hanging out with them is basically the best thing about my job.
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One of my bosses is a raving lunatic, excuse me, pregnant lady. She's not a pleasant person.
~Paul
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They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it.
There was a "Dear Prudence" column on Slate today with a letter saying "I had rather delicate surgery on my back end recently. I tell people I had 'minor surgery,' but they insist on details. How do I handle it?" Prudie's reply was "Tell them the surgery was done by a 'rear admiral,' and hopefully they'll get the hint."
Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. The correct response is "I had surgery on my ASS. My anus, my sphincter, my rectum, my colon, my butt, my bum, my bunghole. Aren't you glad you asked now?"
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They have just gone through a month of throwing up every morning or they have a child biting them on the nipple every few hours and they don't CARE what you think of it.
There was a "Dear Prudence" column on Slate today with a letter saying "I had rather delicate surgery on my back end recently. I tell people I had 'minor surgery,' but they insist on details. How do I handle it?" Prudie's reply was "Tell them the surgery was done by a 'rear admiral,' and hopefully they'll get the hint."
Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. The correct response is "I had surgery on my ASS. My anus, my sphincter, my rectum, my colon, my butt, my bum, my bunghole. Aren't you glad you asked now?"
Would you like to see my stiches?!
I read Dear Prudence each week and still can't figure out why. It's not particularly entertaining and none of the answers apply to me but each Thursday I click the link. I was the same way with the Bleat for a while before I finally deleted if from Firefox's "Daily" folder.
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so i'm walking through an office the other day, and a young intern person is sandwich between stacks or envelopes, reams of paper, copy machines, printers, folding machine, etc.
i immediately want to say "makin' copies...."
instead, i ask him "do you have any idea who rob schneider is?"
and he was 19, so he didn't know.
that's sad.
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I ask him "do you have any idea who rob schneider is?" and he was 19, so he didn't know.
Wha?
My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider. We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.
Plus, SNL is on constant repeat at Comedy central. If this duche doesn't know Rob Schneider he obviously doesn't like comedy.
~Paul
The above sounded like i'm a huge fan of Rob Schneider which i'm not, but still, he's a very famous comedian. I mean, he's been in every single Adam Sandler movie. His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase. He's mother fuckin' ubiquitous.
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once i explained to him the deuce bigalow connotations, he was "oh, ya, him", but he did not know who the snl "makin copies" guy was.
it was an incredibly poignant moment of self age realization for me, regardless.
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My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider. We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.
Deuce Bigelow II? Deuce Bigelow II??? Dear God in Heaven.
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My 13 year old knows Rob Schneider. We saw a lobby card for the upcoming Deuce Bigelow II on the way to War of the Worlds.
Deuce Bigelow II? Deuce Bigelow II??? Dear God in Heaven.
It's best not to think about it. Just be thakful that you aren't seeing previews for "The Festrunk Bros. 4: Two Wild and Crazy Spring Break Guys"
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Hmmm, a Festrunk Brothers movie.... The Swanging Festrunk Brathers in their 60's... the Festrunks cruising Picadilly cafateria for hot babes... hot afternoons around the bridge table at the retirement home... Shopping for stylish and revealing trusses...
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The above sounded like i'm a huge fan of Rob Schneider which i'm not, but still, he's a very famous comedian. I mean, he's been in every single Adam Sandler movie. His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase. He's mother fuckin' ubiquitous.
Yeah right Paul, you're being suspiciously defensive. Time to belly up to the bar and admit that you totally love him. You love Rob Schneider. All with the posters you bought from e-bay on the wall. All writting angry letters to Hollywood Squares about how he should replace Whoopie as centre square. All secretly running this site: http://fan.just-like-magic.org/rob/.
ps - I'm sure it's a fake piercing, but eww, gross.
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His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase.
Actually, Schneider was just doing an impression of girl's gymnastics coach Bela Karoli, who was famous for saying this to his girls in numerous Olympic games (but most famous for carrying little Kerri Strug in his arms after she injured her ankle and went on to win the motherfuck*ng gold medal anyway).
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(but most famous for carrying little Kerri Strug in his arms after she injured her ankle and went on to win the motherfuck*ng gold medal anyway).
The US team would've won the gold medal whether she made that last run or not. </anal>
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The above sounded like i'm a huge fan of Rob Schneider which i'm not, but still, he's a very famous comedian. I mean, he's been in every single Adam Sandler movie. His "You can do it." has become a national catch phrase. He's mother fuckin' ubiquitous.
Yeah right Paul, you're being suspiciously defensive. Time to belly up to the bar and admit that you totally love him. You love Rob Schneider. All with the posters you bought from e-bay on the wall. All writting angry letters to Hollywood Squares about how he should replace Whoopie as centre square. All secretly running this site: http://fan.just-like-magic.org/rob/.
ps - I'm sure it's a fake piercing, but eww, gross.
I've found an interesting article (http://www.fametracker.com/fame_audit/schneider_rob.shtml) which hits on the paradox we are dealing with in this thread. That being the fact that Rob Schneider is seemingly very famous, yet people don't know who he is.
"If you watch one of Schneider's movies (yes, we did -- we are intrepid, in your service), you realize that he's not really much of a comedian. Which isn't to say he's not funny, so much as he doesn't really do anything in his movies, except get beat on.
Again, there's obviously an audience for this kind of punching-bag comedy. But we suspect that part of his allure comes not from his antics, but from his pedigree -- which is to say, the Adam Sandler seal of approval.
Schneider's movies are like intermission-entertainment between Adam Sandler movies, and they no doubt appeal to roughly the same demographic. Schneider's like a Sandler impostor perfume: If you love Adam Sandler, then you'll like Rob Schneider!
Sandler, then, once again proves himself to be a canny entertainer. He's developed a little mini-me, a kind of organ-grinder's monkey that he can trot out to amuse his fans while he's busy changing into his next costume. Why haven't other stars thought of this? It's like a Hollywood apprenticeship program -- take a lesser talented version of yourself and train them to be your own personal half-time show. Brilliant!
The strange result of this experiment in Adam Sandler brand extension, though, is...well, Rob Schneider: the unfamous superstar. On the one hand, he churns out proficient comedy vehicles that make tidy profits. On the other hand, has anyone ever sighted a "Rob Schneider fan"?"
I will admit to liking Adam Sandler quite a bit though. Not his movies so much [although he seems to be improving], but his work on SNL was funny as hell and his records are hillarious. Toll Booth Willie and The Buffoon are insane. "The other day I looked my asshole in the mirror. It blew my fuck*ng mind!!!!"
~Paul
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I kind of liked Deuce Bigelow.
Mostly for the pimp, though.
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(but most famous for carrying little Kerri Strug in his arms after she injured her ankle and went on to win the motherfuck*ng gold medal anyway).
The US team would've won the gold medal whether she made that last run or not. </anal>
Yes, but she didn't know that at the time. And even with a fractured ankle that little girl with the squeaky voice just NAILED that fuck*ng jump.
Indeed, she COULD do it.
U. S. A.!
U. S. A.!
Okay, I'm done now.