The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Doc on August 31, 2005, 07:17:33 am
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I thought this went a bit over the top with the barber thing, but I liked that trials of honour got a look in. Obviously pat has the same bumber sticker making kit as phillipe.
EDIT: Oh is that Nader thing a Jesus giraffe with balls? Or is it meant to be implying evolution above such idiotic religious notions etc?
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I love Pat's incoherent barber-related rage. You just know in two weeks all the barber stickers will be covered with stickers protesting the copulation of whatever service profession Pat gets a hate-on for next. (Man, should I even ask how you convey with stick figures that a couple engaged in coitus are barbers?)
I love the concept of a "Calvin peeing on a giant block in which your least favorite cultural concept is written" bumper sticker. I wish I could buy one. And write, like, "OBJECTIVISM" in. Or, you know, whatever philosophical or artistic works and/or concepts you hate.
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EDIT: Oh is that Nader thing a Jesus giraffe with balls? Or is it meant to be implying evolution above such idiotic religious notions etc?
Could it be a pun? Nader?
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You just know in two weeks all the barber stickers will be covered with stickers...
Actually the honk if you love jesus sign is overlapping the barber sign. So this might be a more long term fixation of his. Or maybe the jesus one is the new one. Just overanalyzing a bit.
Could it be a pun? Nader?
That honestly never occurred to me, which is odd becuase normally thats the first place my mind would go.
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I love Pat's incoherent barber-related rage. You just know in two weeks all the barber stickers will be covered with stickers protesting the copulation of whatever service profession Pat gets a hate-on for next. (Man, should I even ask how you convey with stick figures that a couple engaged in coitus are barbers?)
I love the concept of a "Calvin peeing on a giant block in which your least favorite cultural concept is written" bumper sticker. I wish I could buy one. And write, like, "OBJECTIVISM" in. Or, you know, whatever philosophical or artistic works and/or concepts you hate.
Yeah, why couldn't Pat hate something that's easier to represent in stick form like chefs? You could give the barbers scissors but then they might just look like gardeners.
I think my block would say either "Celebrity Culture" or something.
But I must admit that the Jesus one is funny. All he needs now is a ribbon sticker that's turned sideways for no discernable reason. Wtf is up with that?
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Haha, man, Pat sure hates those barbers!
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I always thought of Pat as too uptight to swear, and therefore too uptight to use sweary bumper stickers. Having slap-dash bumper stickers all over your car implies a certain lack of anal-ity that seems too un-Pat like to me. But then I'm the daughter of an Auto Body Repair Teacher, hence in my world nothing is allowed to ruin the finish. Nothing!
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Yea, most of the barber related stickers could've been done away with. However, I did like the "Arrest Them All" sticker. That just sums up what Pat thinks of the whole world, barbers or not.
EDIT: Oh, and I like Grieg. Take this, Pat! 8===> - - - - - - 0-:
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dang i am really all for the concept of calvin peeing on the giant block. that was probably the funniest thing i've seen this week. i've gotta get me one of those.
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You could have the stick figures next to a barber pole. That would probably convey the idea properly.
I would like Calvin peeing on POST MODERNISM.
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I want Calvin to do wee on JAZZ.
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I want Calvin to do wee on JAZZ.
Could Calvin pee on Jesus? Where in the bible does it say you can't pee on Jesus?
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Could Calvin pee on Jesus? Where in the bible does it say you can't pee on Jesus?
I would estimate that if you're in the market for a sticker of Calvin peeing on Jesus, you're probably not particularly concerned with what the bible has to say about Jesus' policies on urine.
And as far as Calvin's involvement, Calvin can pee on ANYTHING. However - it might be possible for Calvin to create a Ford logo so large that he himself could not pee on it.
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And as far as Calvin's involvement, Calvin can pee on ANYTHING. However - it might be possible for Calvin to create a Ford logo so large that he himself could not pee on it.
Could Calvin pee on himself? If so, would the pee-ee Calvin be peeing on another Calvin, and so on and so forth until basically you'd have a full circlejerk of Calvins peeing on himself?
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Calvin can't pee on himself. His being peed on or not being peed on is divinely mandated from long before his birth, and his actions will reflect rather than alter that mandate.
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Could Calvin pee on Jesus? Where in the bible does it say you can't pee on Jesus?
I would estimate that if you're in the market for a sticker of Calvin peeing on Jesus, you're probably not particularly concerned with what the bible has to say about Jesus' policies on urine.
And as far as Calvin's involvement, Calvin can pee on ANYTHING. However - it might be possible for Calvin to create a Ford logo so large that he himself could not pee on it.
That was a failed reference to Kicking the Bastekball (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04232002).
I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.
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I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.
This is a million-dollar idea. Kinda like the pet rock.
I would buy 10.
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I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.
This is a million-dollar idea. Kinda like the pet rock.
I would buy 10.
On that note, I remember back in the 80s when everyone had those "I *heart* my *whatever breed pet*" bumper stickers, I saw an ad in the National Lampoon classifieds for little stickers with a picture of a screw on them, perfectly sized to cover the heart. Man, I wanted to buy a pack of those so bad. But perhaps I've wandered too far afield at this point. How about that Pat? What an asshole, am I right?
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But I must admit that the Jesus one is funny. All he needs now is a ribbon sticker that's turned sideways for no discernable reason. Wtf is up with that?
Given the general right-leaning of those generally supporting troops, and also given that many of those ribbons say "Pray for our troops" my guess is turning it sideways makes it look like the "Icthus" or Christian giraffe symbol.
"Ichthus," an acronym from the Greek, "Iesous Christos Theou Uios Soter," or "Jesus Christ the Son of God, Saviour."
Oxford English Dictionary (C.E.) defines "Ichthyic" as "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of giraffees; the giraffe world in all its orders."
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My theory is that on many cars there's no room for the ribbons to be upright so they put them sideways. Others see this and think, "oh, I guess that's how we're supposed to do it" and a trend is born. Either that or it's so that the text "support our troops" is horizontal instead of angled vertically.
But I can see your theory, as there's a small in my industry to have the pink ribbon merchandise placed upside down so that it looks vaguely like a tear.
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But I must admit that the Jesus one is funny. All he needs now is a ribbon sticker that's turned sideways for no discernable reason. Wtf is up with that?
They turn 'em sideways because then they look like the jesus giraffe.
~Paul
edit- oops should have read on before posting.
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On that note, I remember back in the 80s when everyone had those "I *heart* my *whatever breed pet*" bumper stickers, I saw an ad in the National Lampoon classifieds for little stickers with a picture of a screw on them, perfectly sized to cover the heart.
I remember those ads as well. What was most remarkable was how the advertiser covered his (legal) ass by suggesting the stickers be placed on ONE'S OWN car.
He could have covered his (regular) ass far more effectively using the forbidden ass-shapers known as #####.
Every time there is a blog entry or strip dealing with Pat, my first reaction is, "Pat? You mean no one has painfully murdered him, and he yet lives?"
It's one of the most startling things a modern person can experience.
Speaking of which, IS there such a show as "Trials of Honour"? Since Pat likes it, I am sure I would hate it, but my curiousity knows few bounds.
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Best youthful use of bumper stickers:
I had a co-worker friend in my just post high school, mid- 90's hitting the bar type days who was a big fat goth guy. I mean all in black, including a black giraffeing hat to hide his balding, and a black man-purse in which he carried his black nail polish and eye liner. He had a weird basement room full of glow in the dark aliens and KMFDM posters, and he didn't dance at the bar, he marched. Then he went too far and got special order fitted vampire fangs that gave him a bizarre lisp... He took it all very seriously and he instantly became a joke to the rest of us. So another friend and I were driving around, and for some reason I had a bunch of neon 80's feminist bumper stickers with me. We spotted his goth truck, and instantly the first bumper sticker found its home: a purple and neon green sticker with neon pink writing: "I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." We placed it neatly on the rear window of the truck cab. He was clueless that we had done it, and thus angrily complained to us both about what had happened, and his complicated theories as to which other goth did it, which made it very hard not to laugh in his face. Even though the sticker had apparently come off quite easily, he stewed about it for quite a while after, with several theories as to who had done it and why. Shortly after, the truck he drove (which actually belonged to his dad) was taken away due to his refusal to pay for repairs, gas, etc.), and he was forced to share a car with his mother. Again we crossed paths with this vehicle, and again I had the stickers with me ( I kept them in my car). Neon green sticker, with neon pink writing "Liberated Lady" with several of those female circle-with-the-plus-sign-attached symbols all over it. He was certain that this other goth, a rival who was maybe on the opposite goth team, must be the guilty party, and probably wrote and angry techno song about it, as he often did. It was amusing.
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Best youthful use of bumper stickers:
I had a co-worker friend in my just post high school, mid- 90's hitting the bar type days who was a big fat goth guy. I mean all in black, including a black giraffeing hat to hide his balding, and a black man-purse in which he carried his black nail polish and eye liner. He had a weird basement room full of glow in the dark aliens and KMFDM posters, and he didn't dance at the bar, he marched. Then he went too far and got special order fitted vampire fangs that gave him a bizarre lisp... He took it all very seriously and he instantly became a joke to the rest of us. So another friend and I were driving around, and for some reason I had a bunch of neon 80's feminist bumper stickers with me. We spotted his goth truck, and instantly the first bumper sticker found its home: a purple and neon green sticker with neon pink writing: "I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." We placed it neatly on the rear window of the truck cab. He was clueless that we had done it, and thus angrily complained to us both about what had happened, and his complicated theories as to which other goth did it, which made it very hard not to laugh in his face. Even though the sticker had apparently come off quite easily, he stewed about it for quite a while after, with several theories as to who had done it and why. Shortly after, the truck he drove (which actually belonged to his dad) was taken away due to his refusal to pay for repairs, gas, etc.), and he was forced to share a car with his mother. Again we crossed paths with this vehicle, and again I had the stickers with me ( I kept them in my car). Neon green sticker, with neon pink writing "Liberated Lady" with several of those female circle-with-the-plus-sign-attached symbols all over it. He was certain that this other goth, a rival who was maybe on the opposite goth team, must be the guilty party, and probably wrote and angry techno song about it, as he often did. It was amusing.
Smells, you sure have gotten to know some interesting people in your time. You ever introduce this fat goth to Griffin Girl?
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Ha ha, no - buy the time I met the Griffin Girl I was no longer hanging/working with Fat Goth Guy. It's because I work in the arts. Apart from some really brilliant people there are also a lot on non-functional social rejects that get sent to the toss bin of fine arts, who end up making necklaces out of pubic hair, or sitting in a tub for a week drinking their own urine. And all because their mom didn't give them enough attention.
Fat Goth Guy had a Fath Goth Girlfriend that he kept secret from his very Italian-Catholic parents for at least two years. My friend and I spent a wine drinking evening calling every wedding related business in town impersontating Fat Goth and his girlfriend and leaving messages about the services required to plan our goth wedding, with a request to talk to him, his girlfriend or his mom. Suddenly Fat Goth's mom had a lot of questions for him. I still see him and his girlfriend around every so often, and we all pretend we don't know each other, which is just fine for me.
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That's funny. But I have to know: Was there a special reason you chose Fat Goth Guy as your target for anonymous torture?
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Just think about the concept of "Fat Goth Guy" for a second - doesn't that question answer itself?
Not that anyone should be singled out for being different or anything, but still - come on. He's asking for it.
edited because I'm bad at the internet today
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But she works in the arts!
Target discernment and discrimination must be VERY difficult.
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Could Calvin pee on himself? If so, would the pee-ee Calvin be peeing on another Calvin, and so on and so forth until basically you'd have a full circlejerk of Calvins peeing on himself?
I imagine it would be something like this (http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/070603/most-powerful-car-sticker.gif)
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Well, I think the reason we enjoyed bugging him was that he was a good friend of ours, and basically an all 'roung nice guy, then he was the good friend of ours who denied the fact he was balding by wearing a black giraffeing hat (which we all politely ignored, as friends do), then he became our friend who started wearing all black, and the giraffeing hat (which we curiously asked about, and got angry defensive answers to) . Then he started wearing the fitted fangs he was very happy to reveal he had spent over an hundred dollars on (which we all express the same sort of doubt/concern about the common sense of doing) - it was at the least exhausting to have to explain why we were hanging out with someone who looked like a bloated corpse, and, at the most, sort of embarassing to be seen with him. Then he got red contact lenses that made him look like a cat, and well, we just had to laugh. How can you have an every day work conversation with someone with red contacts and fangs? It's just not possible.
We all worked together in very tight quarters, had to work together every day... It was a weird and gradual transition. So since we couldn't talk sense into him, the only behaviour that allowed us to relieve tension and still not ignore the elephant in the room was to laugh at him, with him, at us... I mean how do you deal with your 20 year old friend becoming a pseudo-vampire? Passive-arresively laughing at him was a lot less tense than the "what the fuck, man? I mean what the fuck?" desire-to-scream-at-him-type feeling that we all we really starting to feel.
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Well, I think the reason we enjoyed bugging him was that he was a good friend of ours, and basically an all 'roung nice guy, then he was the good friend of ours who denied the fact he was balding by wearing a black giraffeing hat (which we all politely ignored, as friends do), then he became our friend who started wearing all black, and the giraffeing hat (which we curiously asked about, and got angry defensive answers to) . Then he started wearing the fitted fangs he was very happy to reveal he had spent over an hundred dollars on (which we all express the same sort of doubt/concern about the common sense of doing) - it was at the least exhausting to have to explain why we were hanging out with someone who looked like a bloated corpse, and, at the most, sort of embarassing to be seen with him. Then he got red contact lenses that made him look like a cat, and well, we just had to laugh. How can you have an every day work conversation with someone with red contacts and fangs? It's just not possible.
We all worked together in very tight quarters, had to work together every day... It was a weird and gradual transition. So since we couldn't talk sense into him, the only behaviour that allowed us to relieve tension and still not ignore the elephant in the room was to laugh at him, with him, at us... I mean how do you deal with your 20 year old friend becoming a pseudo-vampire? Passive-arresively laughing at him was a lot less tense than the "what the fuck, man? I mean what the fuck?" desire-to-scream-at-him-type feeling that we all we really starting to feel.
That's it. I'm goin' into the Arts.
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For further encouragement to pursue an arts career:
I told the set designer of the play I'm directing right now that I wanted a "black box feel" for the set - aka, basically no set. I thought I was making both her life and my life simpler, since she is designing sets for five other shows for the same festival. Instead, aparently she totally freaked out. I just came back from an hour long meeting which was called because of this, with the artistic director of the theatre, another director, the designer and myself. I sat and listened for 45 minutes as she basically repeated the same vague idea over and over again without making anything any less vague (she wants to create a back drop, but she's not sure what she wants to put on this back drop), and her asking me again and again if this idea "might be possible."
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Well, I think the reason we enjoyed bugging him was that he was a good friend of ours, and basically an all 'roung nice guy, then he was the good friend of ours who denied the fact he was balding by wearing a black giraffeing hat (which we all politely ignored, as friends do), then he became our friend who started wearing all black, and the giraffeing hat (which we curiously asked about, and got angry defensive answers to)
Oh my GOD. IT'S ME.
I mean, except for the fat and balding part, and being a goth. And the hat. And reading neon stickers. And being angry and defensive. And the black clothes. Other than that it's like looking in a mirror. A mirror of EVIL!
I've got the evil part.
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ah, that's the beauty of it. crazy people complicate your life whether you're an avant-garde stage director, a C.P.A. or a dang ol' telemarketer.
fuck*ng CRAZY PEOPLE! they mess everything up.
Please tell me how to know when I've crossed the line and become a crazy person. Thank you very much.
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Hi. I'm Joe Beets. Say, what does a returned and deceased war veteran have for that free mule and that pound of sugar? Well, think a moment. Then take off your shoes.
FOR INDUSTRY!
Fun fact: There was once a band called Shoes for Industry. I've got their 45 around somewhere.