The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: misterqueue on October 17, 2005, 10:20:03 am
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You just know that Ray didn't even try. He just ponied up the full-on 75 bones and sent it on its way. I wonder if he really even looked at it.
And furthermore, now we know for a face that he tried to smooth some broad with raisins in her purse (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=03222005).
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When you consider it, whoever came up with that scam was a genius.
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I just love "the complete works of Pliny the Elder" and the way R-U-T-A-B-A-G-A is coiled.
fuck*ng MENSA.
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I, too, would not really want to join any club that would have Ray as a member. Right on, alt-text.
Nice to see that Ray signs his checks -=Ray=-, too.
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Also notice that Ray doesn't bother to write out the amount on the line where he's supposed to. But hey, he owns the bank so it's not like payment will be refused or anything.
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Also notice that Ray doesn't bother to write out the amount on the line where he's supposed to. But hey, he owns the bank so it's not like payment will be refused or anything.
Also Ray only uses fountain pens apparently.
Also, I spent time trying to figure out what the check number (21038) was taken to mean. Everything from Numerological style ramblings (Well added together it's 14, then 1 and 4 make 5. 5 is the number for man, and the only Man we've seen in the comic is Onstad. Clearly: Selgiraffeness!) to childish grade school antics (On a calculator that would be BEOIS, or BEOLS depending... BeOS? No no.. too geeky)
After a while of this I realized the level of complete and utter fandom to which I had descended as the bowels of hell opened to welcome me; a resident bestial boy. All who had thusly offended reasonable sensibilities were already there: trekkies speaking Klingon, guys dressed up like Dr. Who, and an entire convention of Cosplayers. I saw a door, festooned with an ancient and horrible language; beyond which, I heard chants of "IA! IA! CTHULHU FTANGH!". I shuddered; begging a nearby gent decked out in a fedora and trenchcoat what horror could be beyond such a portal. As he sipped a microbrew and gazed off thoughtfully he replied, "That's the next circle... it's reserved for furries."
LEARN FROM ME!
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21308 is the number on Nick Gonzales' orange jumpsuit in the underappreciated independent film "Turkmenistan." He plays Fustini, the happy-go-lucky cab driver who finds himself the fall guy for the biggest mob conspiracy in Eurasian history. Only his quick wits, his master culinary skills, and his eerily intelligent siamese cat can help him secure the blessings of liberty for the people of the former SSR.
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This would have been funny had it ended with the fifth panel, but then big O went the extra mile. Ain't no strip that can't be made funnier by showing someone licking an envelope and then putting it into the mailbox.
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Ray has terrible handwriting.
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Also, I spent time trying to figure out what the check number (21038) was taken to mean.
How about it means 21,038 checks is a HELL OF A LOT OF CHECKS TO WRITE. I've had a checking account for 10 years and I'm on seven hundred something. I know Ray buys hell of more stuff than I do (he probably writes ten checks just for his Friday parties) and I'm not counting all the checking-account transactions I use my debit card for, but still.
He doesn't care what he's writing checks for. He knows he's good for the money, so he'll write them.
Twenty-one thousand and thirty-eight times.
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Also, I spent time trying to figure out what the check number (21038) was taken to mean.
How about it means 21,038 checks is a HELL OF A LOT OF CHECKS TO WRITE.
Well sure, if you want to look at it... logically.
There's just something haunting about BEOLS though. Let us all bow before our old god BEOLS!
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Beolis would be be the Greek city-state where the inventor of cottage cheese was born if there were a just God in heaven.
Although being born in a greek city-state, he wouldn't have believed in a God, but merely a collection of gods.
But then perhaps he was a freethinking monotheist. Or a Zoroastrian. That was the Persian religion. The inventor of cottage cheese was none other than Ephialtes!
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&c
Tell me about the fuck*ng golf shoes!
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Interestingly enough, 21038 is NOT a vaild ZIP code (http://zip4.usps.com/zip4/citytown_zip.jsp). I didn't realize that there were gaps in the numbering system.
THANKS TO ACHEWOOD, I LEARNED TODAY.
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Interestingly enough, 21038 is NOT a vaild ZIP code (http://zip4.usps.com/zip4/citytown_zip.jsp). I didn't realize that there were gaps in the numbering system.
THANKS TO ACHEWOOD, I LEARNED TODAY.
I hear they're all about education over there now.
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Just a note.. alt text changed from:
"I would not belong to any club that has Ray as a member"
to
"Ray can only name three Beatles"
We, too, are all about education
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There's Volkswagen, Bailey, and uh... help me out here.
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There's Volkswagen, Bailey, and uh... help me out here.
Dung.
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Also, I spent time trying to figure out what the check number (21038) was taken to mean.
How about it means 21,038 checks is a HELL OF A LOT OF CHECKS TO WRITE. I've had a checking account for 10 years and I'm on seven hundred something. I know Ray buys hell of more stuff than I do (he probably writes ten checks just for his Friday parties) and I'm not counting all the checking-account transactions I use my debit card for, but still.
He doesn't care what he's writing checks for. He knows he's good for the money, so he'll write them.
Twenty-one thousand and thirty-eight times.
Oh, this reminds me. My friend moved down to the States and tells me that in the U.S. hardly anyone uses their debit card in the way that we do in Canada. Is this true? Up here, checks are basically obsolete, I used to write one check a month for rent, but now that I have a mortgage that's automatically withdrawn, I wonder what I even need my checks for anymore. Debit is neck and neck with cash as the preferred method of payment. Everywhere accepts debit, except for true backwoods operations. At this point, I only carry cash when my SO's grandma tapes a twenty in my birthday card. Also, debit transactions are free if you have $500 or more in your account at most banks, so carrying cash is pretty pointless.
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No that's the way it is here now. Also, you can get cash off your debit card without a transaction fee at most larger stores.
I still carry a checkbook with me. The float is a wond'rous thing.
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At the store where I work, debit/credit is by far the preferred method of payment. Checks are a very distant third, behind cash. Now we electronically approve checks, and if it goes through, hand them back to the customer immediately, which pisses some of them off.
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No that's the way it is here now. Also, you can get cash off your debit card without a transaction fee at most larger stores.
I still carry a checkbook with me. The float is a wond'rous thing.
The Float is a lot harder to play than it used to be, though. I used to work the HELL out of the float in the early 90's but it's a lot tougher now.
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If ray used a debit card online, he wouldn't get to sign it -=Ray=-
These things must be considered.
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I don't use my debit card because it costs the merchant more to accept it, and if they accept regular credit cards they are forced to accept debit cards and pay the higher fees whether they want to or not. Also, there was that thing last year where some major stores such as Wal-Mart were triple charging people and if that had happened to me w/ my debit card then my rent check would've bounced.
My mom writes something like 50 checks a month. It's insane. We keep telling her that if you have a rewards credit card and never carry a balance using it makes a lot more sense but she can't break the habit. She even has a check book with a window to hold her license so the clerk can write down the info while she's filling out the register. She hates it when the clerk does the electronic thing and gives the check back.
What sucks is that banks are still allowed to use float against you. If I deposit a check today my bank can wait like 3 days to actually give me the money but debit the checks I write immediately. Fuck Check21.
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Cort: actually, it's the opposite.
Merchants LOVE to accept debit rather than credit cards, because there's no discount fee and they get their money right away rather than in a day or two.
Consumers should prefer credit because there's no fee to us (with debit there may or may not be a fee) and of course the money doesn't get taken from us right away.
I tend to use a Visa Check Card at most places as a Visa credit card. The funds come out of my bank account, but I don't get charged a fee like I would with debit.
So I'm constantly trying to figure out if the current system I'm navigating uses "Cancel" or "OK" to skip the PIN entry screen to proceed.
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My mom writes something like 50 checks a month. It's insane. We keep telling her that if you have a rewards credit card and never carry a balance using it makes a lot more sense but she can't break the habit. She even has a check book with a window to hold her license so the clerk can write down the info while she's filling out the register. She hates it when the clerk does the electronic thing and gives the check back.
I know she's your mom, Cort, but... people who write checks while other people are waiting in line behind them should be shot.
I had a hard day, I guess it's bringing out my inner Pat.
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Debit is better than cash, that's for sure.
Not just because cash is impossible to recover, but because clerks are stupid.
A week ago I bought a cheeseburger, and the clerk couldn't figure out how much change to give me. Ten dollars minus 6.27 (It was a half-pounder.). So after he stared at the bar for upwards of thirty seconds, I said, "Seventy-three cents." Then he just stared blankly at me, so I said, "Two quarters, two dimes, and three pennies."
So he gave me 83 cents.
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Today, at the hardware store, I was buying 90 degree braces to fix my IKEA bed. They were $2.75 each, and this store doesn't charge tax, oddly enough, or they already have it figured into the price. So I figure I'll be awesome and give her the $10 I had, plus two quarters, so she could give me back a fiver. I handed the ten and the two quarters to her, and she handed me a five and the same two quarters I had just given her. They hadn't even left her hand. I stared increduosly at them for a second before telling her that they were actually hers.
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I use debit basically all the time - but I never (or rarely) use my Visa Check Card as a credit card, because I HATE the variable delay between the time of the transaction and the time that money is actually removed from my account. Just recently I bought like $50 worth of drinks for friends at some fancy bar we were at, and it didn't even think about making an appearance at my bank until two weeks later. I nearly bounced the rent check because I was missing $50 all of a sudden. With Debit, by the time I get home from making the transaction, my bank's software knows what's happened. Much better.
As a bit of an aside (apparently I'm feeling nostalgic today), does anyone know when it became impossible to just hand someone your card and get on with it? I understand the benefits of the customer-driven credit card system (nobody forgets to return the card, enter the PIN and such without intervention...), but it seems like whenever I slip and hand someone my card they FREAK OUT like they can't touch it because it might have magnetic-stripe herpes. I long for the day when the cashier at a store actually had to do something aside from drag my items across a special section of the counter and then glare at me while I transact business.
On the other hand, the self-checkouts at the grocery store are doing quite well.
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I use debit basically all the time - but I never (or rarely) use my Visa Check Card as a credit card, because I HATE the variable delay between the time of the transaction and the time that money is actually removed from my account.
Oh man, that's why I love it. I can make a deposit today, and then spend money on that deposit even before the check clears. It's like kiting but legal.
MAKE THE FLOAT WORK FOR YOU
Just recently I bought like $50 worth of drinks for friends at some fancy bar we were at, and it didn't even think about making an appearance at my bank until two weeks later. I nearly bounced the rent check because I was missing $50 all of a sudden.
Yeah, I guess if you're too stupid or lazy to balance your own checkbook slash keep track of your own finances, then check cards probably aren't a good match.
As a bit of an aside (apparently I'm feeling nostalgic today), does anyone know when it became impossible to just hand someone your card and get on with it?
Oh man, I love the "Swipe Any Time" thing. What I hate is when you go to somewhere like Best Buy that has the self-checkout card system and then they tell you to "Present Card to Cashier" anyway, so she can RE-SWIPE IT and then key in the three digit security code. Why not just let her handle it from the get-go? It's so annoying that I shop there less than I would otherwise.
Also, as a digression, one time the cashier must've mistyped the security code, so my card was declined. Knowing full well that I had plenty of funds to buy the blank DVDs I was picking up I had her run it again, and then watched her intentionally mistype the number again so that it wouldn't be her fault.
Of course, I'm an asshole, so I made her get a manager and asked the manager to ring me out there. There's no fuck*ng way I'm going to leave the store without my stuff just because the cashier was being obstinate. I can out-obstinate anyone.
On the other hand, the self-checkouts at the grocery store are doing quite well.
Oh man, I hate these things so much. There have been times where I went to the store while they still had checkout people on duty, and by the time I was done shopping for the week they'd all left and all they had was the stupid self-checkout and I had to leave my full cart there by the checkout lane and walk out.
Also, since they're so paranoid about people stealing from the self-checkout, they always have one or two people there to WATCH EVERYONE LIKE A HAWK but never actually help people check out. One time for kicks I started banging cans and bottles against the bar code reader whenever it wouldn't read them right away, and I kept waiting for someone to come over and "help" me, but no.
Also, the whole "you have to keep your bags on the scale until you're done, but there's only room for two bags on the scale so if you need more than that you've got to make five different transactions for the same food order" thing is idiocy.
Really, stores aren't saving themselves any money, the consumers aren't enjoying the process more, and by treating your customers like thieves you're more likely to have more of them steal from you simply DUE TO SPITE.
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Whiny old man ramblings
Look, I don't know why you shop IN HELL, but where I shop there's just one guy/college girl suckling a lollipop lovingly who watches you and does indeed help if there is an issue.
Secondly, they have that 20 items or less limit on the Self-Checkout just like the express line so you shouldn't have to legostack your 8 years worth of frozen pork pizzas or whatever the hell it is you're buying on the scale.
So while I'll use it when I'm running to snag a couple quick things and it's great for that; for a full cart I'm a-walkin' to aisle 3 and having the hot checkout girl check me out. No seriously, check me out.
The one thing I can NOT stand is when I'm just there to get.. I dunno.. sugar or something and there's 1 old woman or 1 incredibly stupid gentleman ahead of me who should by no means be using the damn thing, swiping and swabbing back and forth until I'm ready to scream out "The fuck*ng bar code is on the other side!!" and lollipop girl comes over and holds me and tells me it's going to be okay.
Later she feeds me soup; naked.
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I will concede an obvious point here - the "keep the bags on the scale" thing is fuck*ng ANNOYING. If you so much as breathe in the direction of the scale incorrectly, the whole system SHUTS DOWN and the Observer has to come over and chide you for moving things. I do indeed hate that. However, now that I've managed to figure out when you can't and can't move your own damn groceries around on the scale, everything is much better. At least I don't have to trust an actual person to return the correct amount of change to me - I can have the machine give me perfect change, entirely in one-dollar bills and nickels.
edit: to Jough: Note I said I *nearly* bounced the rent check. While I am both stupid and lazy, I can sure as hell maintain a checking account balance sheet. It's just easier when the bank does it for me, instantly, WITH SCIENCE.
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I really like the three parallel lines
Ray uses for the E in October.
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I like the self-checkouts but I can never use them because I always have booze or obscure produce* that prevents me from using them. The ones I have used didn't use a scale though. You had to send each item down the coveyer one at a time so they could be counted that way.
*basically anything other than red apples
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I like the self-checkouts but I can never use them because I always have booze or obscure produce* that prevents me from using them. The ones I have used didn't use a scale though. You had to send each item down the coveyer one at a time so they could be counted that way.
*basically anything other than red apples
You can do booze at mine. The lollipop girl just checks your ID* and you're on your way.
*and by check your ID, I mean...
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So while I'll use it when I'm running to snag a couple quick things and it's great for that; for a full cart I'm a-walkin' to aisle 3 and having the hot checkout girl check me out.
Well, my complaint is that it's not an option around here. They actually close all of the other lines, and the only option after like, 9PM (Philly pretty much shuts down at 9PM, except for the bars) so if you want to do shopping late-ish then your only option is the self-checkout.
Or, you know, go to a different store that's open 24/7 and doesn't even have a self-checkout aisle, which is what I do more often.
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...and the Observer has to come over and chide you for moving things...
See, when you said Observer, I pictured the Marvel comics Observer. Does anyone else know this guy? Giant head, weird eyes, stands on the moon watching the Earth, occasionally talks with Dr. Strange?
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I thought that was The Watcher.
He watches stuff.
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No no.. you're thinking of the Witcher (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2004-10-24&res=l)... he.. um.. witches.
And yes Bozack I know of whom you speak and that is absolutely a marvelous image.
"You cannot remove those tomatoes sir."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?"
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No no.. you're thinking of the Witcher (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2004-10-24&res=l)... he.. um.. witches.
And yes Bozack I know of whom you speak and that is absolutely a marvelous image.
"You cannot remove those tomatoes sir."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?"
"Hey, can you check my ID so I can buy this beer?"
"No, for I am forbidden by the code of my race to interfere in the destiny of humankind."
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NO NIBBLING AT THE OLIVE BAR! HAVE YOU PURCHASED THOSE OLIVES? I THOUGHT NOT. (http://im-chat.com/img/29/overseerwatcher.jpg)