The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Science & Nature => Topic started by: Bobby Isosceles on October 18, 2005, 02:20:17 pm
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With typical Russian efficiency, we see this gem (http://english.pravda.ru/science/19/94/377/16316_Deluge.html):
The world rotates round its axis. This fact does not seem to cause any fear or worry. However, the dangers are lurking about every bend. This rotation system is not mechanically stable as tones of snow fall on the continental platform of Greenland and Antarctica every year. This snow forms a so-called icy dumbbell the, which increases in size every year. This is where the danger is lurking. It is well-known that the rotating dumbbell tends to hold a posture that is perpendicular to the axis of rotation. When the weight of this icy dumbbell reaches its critical point, the thin stone membrane floating on the scorching Earth's surface will start moving. While the planet will maintain its orientation in space there will be variation in altitude of the poles both magnetic and geographic. This is accompanied by significant deformations of the Earth surface as the rotation influences the shape of the Earth. If the Earth did not rotate it would be a perfect sphere. It does rotate, though. That is why any dumbbell or a sphere located on its surface is additionally affected by centrifugal force. Under this force this sphere will roll to the equator and finally stop at it. The equator is 40 thousand kilometers long, so it makes a complete turn in 24 hours (86400 seconds). Each point of the equator rotates at the speed of 463 meters per second. Thus, any solid body that starts moving from the pole gains the speed of the bullet at the equator.
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Therefore, gravitation that affects each of its molecules decreases, whereas by contrast centrifugal force increases. This means that in the end this spherical object will gain the mentioned speed of 463 meters per second! Imagine, what kind of danger is hiding in the mountain glaciers of Greenland and Antarctica!
YES IMAGINE!
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Bird flu, peak oil, global warming... now I gotta worry about the earth falling off its axis? Oh for fuck's sake.
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Bird flu, peak oil, global warming... now I gotta worry about the earth falling off its axis? Oh for fuck's sake.
You left out loose nukes on the black market.
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I think Global Warming balances out the 'tones of snow' dumbell effect. Nature in action.
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My first thought to this was, "Christ, those fucks really NEED to concentrate on their fashions and leave this kind of shit to the scientists."
Then I realized that I'd gotten them confused with Prada. Again.
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Remember, PraVda has a "V" for "Vladimir."
What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting. Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere! CATASTROPHIC.
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Remember, PraVda has a "V" for "Vladimir."
Just any old excuse to plug my whiteboard doodle of lenin, or marx, or castro, or someone:
(http://www.bobbyisosceles.com/images/lenin.jpg)
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Basically anyone with a beard and crazy eyebrows.
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David the GNOME?
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I'm thinking Rasputin.
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I'm thinking Rasputin.
Yea, Lenin's beard was smaller and pointier...
LIKE THE DEVIL'S!
friggin' godless commie
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What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting. Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere! CATASTROPHIC.
This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?
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What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting. Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere! CATASTROPHIC.
This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?
Uncle Cecil already answered this. (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_155.html)
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What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting. Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere! CATASTROPHIC.
This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?
Uncle Cecil already answered this. (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_155.html)
That response made Uncle Cecil my hero.
Anyway, the apocalypse sure as hell ain't coming. And if it is, hey, I get out of grad school.
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This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?
Uncle Cecil already answered this. (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_155.html)
That's actually where I found this several years ago. I'm not creative enough to come up with a question like that on my own.
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If every woman in India killed her husband at the same time, would the broad-to-bubba ratio outweigh the hairiness factor, and make India a good place to pick up babes?
The answer, of course, is no, because bitches that kill their husbands are not to be trusted.
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Um... what?
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Wow.
It's like 100x more likely to be the other way around in India. Hell, even in Chicago about once a year someone in the general vicinity of Devon Avenue sets his wife ON FIRE due to a dowry dispute or some such thing.
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I didn't say that Indian women murder their husbands. I asked what would happen if it were so.
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You know, I gotta say...I stock romance titles, and a whole lot of them make the claim that being a murderer is like bad-boy sexy. And that Dixie Chicks video a few years back made killing your husband okay. I would guess that India would become a whole lot sexier.
Can you imagine being married to a woman who, at some point, killed her husband? That woman has BALLS. I would just be in awe. And although I could never ask her normally, maybe, on my death bed, I would have her bend close to my ear and ask her,"So, how did taking another human life feel? What sort of power do you derive from that?"
And then she'd smother me with my pillow. Once a husband-killer, always a husband-killer!
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You know, I gotta say...I stock romance titles, and a whole lot of them make the claim that being a murderer is like bad-boy sexy. And that Dixie Chicks video a few years back made killing your husband okay. I would guess that India would become a whole lot sexier.
Can you imagine being married to a woman who, at some point, killed her husband? That woman has BALLS. I would just be in awe. And although I could never ask her normally, maybe, on my death bed, I would have her bend close to my ear and ask her,"So, how did taking another human life feel? What sort of power do you derive from that?"
And then she'd smother me with my pillow. Once a husband-killer, always a husband-killer!
Word. It's the same argument as marrying a guy you dated while he was married. You're working rough odds at that point.
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Agreed. I mean, as we all know, past behavior never indicates future performance, but c'mon. She's already an old hand at husband-killing. She's been through the rigamarole already.
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They only feel remorse... the first time!
Then it's like, how am I going to kill all these husbands in a workday? Help me Ron Popeil!
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You know, I gotta say...I stock romance titles, and a whole lot of them make the claim that being a murderer is like bad-boy sexy.
It's Ted Bundy all over again!
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Can you imagine being married to a woman who . . . has BALLS.
Not in most states.
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You know, I gotta say...I stock romance titles, and a whole lot of them make the claim that being a murderer is like bad-boy sexy.
This rather fails to surprise me, as the social/ethical cosmology of romace novels seems to be more or less totally fucked-up crazy.
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This rather fails to surprise me, as the social/ethical cosmology of romace novels seems to be more or less totally fucked-up crazy.
....you know, I could say a lot of things here. But I will restrain myself. I will merely link you to something that will explain much better than I ever could how I feel about 99% of romance novels (I say 99% because I'm sure that there are probably some really amazing ones out there).
Gaze in horror at the collected works of Sandra Hill. (http://www.sff.net/people/shill/books.htm)
I especially like "My Fair Viking" and "A Tale of Two Vikings."
MY STORE HAS EVERY ONE OF THOSE BOOKS.
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The Very Virile Viking was fantastic...and not for the alliteration in the title.
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This rather fails to surprise me, as the social/ethical cosmology of romace novels seems to be more or less totally fucked-up crazy.
....you know, I could say a lot of things here. But I will restrain myself. I will merely link you to something that will explain much better than I ever could how I feel about 99% of romance novels (I say 99% because I'm sure that there are probably some really amazing ones out there).
Gaze in horror at the collected works of Sandra Hill. (http://www.sff.net/people/shill/books.htm)
I especially like "My Fair Viking" and "A Tale of Two Vikings."
MY STORE HAS EVERY ONE OF THOSE BOOKS.
You know, if ever there was an appropriate time for a Doctor Who reference*, now would be it**. I would like to see what happens when one of these stupid Vikings has to face down a Dalek. Better yet, the Fouth Doctor could strangle one of them with his scarf.
*I fully realize Jough will not approve.
**Because time travel is involved.
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The Very Virile Viking was fantastic...and not for the alliteration in the title.
I think I'm more a fan of "Truly Madly Viking," because it doesn't even make any sense. Holy wow.
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The Very Virile Viking was fantastic...and not for the alliteration in the title.
I think I'm more a fan of "Truly Madly Viking," because it doesn't even make any sense. Holy wow.
No sense at all. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103129/)
None. (http://users.cis.net/sammy/madly.htm)
Did I really link to that last one? *shudder*
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He takes a vow of celibacy...
Even though he is a very virile man.
Uh-oh!
Let the Viking laughter begin!
Errr... zany antics ensue?
Also! I think it is totally awesome how we got from "end of the world nigh" to this. I would consider it basically a full circle.
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The Very Virile Viking was fantastic...and not for the alliteration in the title.
I think I'm more a fan of "Truly Madly Viking," because it doesn't even make any sense. Holy wow.
No sense at all. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103129/)
None. (http://users.cis.net/sammy/madly.htm)
Did I really link to that last one? *shudder*
Well, yes, I was aware of the allusion, but the mere presence of an allusion doesn't exactly make it make sense. I mean, I could write a romance novel called O Viking, My Viking, but that doesn't mean...
Wait, that kind of does make sense. It could be about Walt Whitman encountering a (virile) Viking, via time travel! Holy crap!
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Frightening inciting things
O viking, my viking
Your fearful strip is done
Your horns have weathr'd every rack
The prize I sought is won
From port to rear, the bells I hear, your gripping shaft extended
While follow lips the steady knell, the vessel thick and hairy
But O hard! Hard! HARD!
O the fleeting dribbles led
Where on the dick my Viking lies
Fallen soft to bed
Jeezus.. you people made me do this.. YOU MADE ME!
Also the only reason I know that poem by heart so quickly is because I had to sing it in choir as a kid. So I cheated a bit WITH HISTORY!
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I think I might have a new Internet crush.
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I think I might have a new Internet crush.
*titters like a schoolgirl*
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Frightening inciting things
O viking, my viking
Your fearful strip is done
Your horns have weathr'd every rack
The prize I sought is won
From port to rear, the bells I hear, your gripping shaft extended
While follow lips the steady knell, the vessel thick and hairy
But O hard! Hard! HARD!
O the fleeting dribbles led
Where on the dick my Viking lies
Fallen soft to bed
All that now remains is for Garrison Keillor to read this aloud on Writers Almanac.
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It could be the lyrics to an unreleased Zeppelin track circa 1975.
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Can someone please, PLEASE email Sandra Hall and present her with the poem? Misterqueue, I think you should do the honors.
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Can someone please, PLEASE email Sandra Hall and present her with the poem? Misterqueue, I think you should do the honors.
Though I'm frightened at some sort of association with this thing, I suppose a good idea is always a good idea.
May $deity have mercy on this one man's soul.