The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: Imperator Severn on October 22, 2005, 08:02:53 am
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The news was on. Greta van Sustren was saying something terribly uninteresting about Diet Coke. I was sitting there, minding my own business, when I stopped minding my own business and went outside. To my shock, there was a giant snake outside, maybe twenty feet long. Of course, my first instinct was to step on it. When that didn't work, I ran back inside to look for a weapon. Since unsecured firearms are not permitted, I made sure to only get a .22 pistol. How I could magically get guns like that I don't know, but apparently I was more worried about getting in trouble for having a gun than what I was going to do to a gigantic python with a .22 revolver. Anyhow, I ran out and started shooting the snake, and the bastard had the audacity to bite me. Really, it was nothing, but I thought that was very rude and told him so. I went back inside and my boss was standing in my doorway, looking very disappointed.
"Dan," he said, "You know I don't allow pistols in my building."
I was glad he hadn't noticed the mini gun that was now in my closet.
"But chief, there's this huge fuck*ng snake outside!"
"What? Oh, well, let's have a look then."
We went outside and a 'little' (that is to say, 6-foot-long) viper flew past me. I knew he was a viper from the shape of his head. My boss started giving me the stare but then I found the python. He was a lot smaller now and his eyes were glowing. I dropped my pistol and started strangling the reptile.
"Dude, look at his eyes," said my boss.
I was too busy choking the snake. (Is it possible to choke a snake? For some reason I want to say no.) When I turned around, my boss was standing still facing away from me. He was shaking.
"Hey, man, are you all right?"
My boss whirled around and stared at me with these crazy colorful glowing eyes. Needless to say, I punched him in the face.
He went down easy. My boss is not what you call a model of physical strength. But then all these pther people gather around and are gawking at the big dead snake and my boss lying on the ground all bloody.
"He hit me!" he shouted, and started looking all around him.
I turned my attention back to the crowd and now some of their eyes were glowing, and more of them were lighting up.
So I ran back inside, as any sensible snake-strangler would.
Inside, no one's eyes were glowing. Satisfied, I went back in my room to get my shotgun when I saw my eyes glowing in the mirror. Suddenly, I felt like someone was moving me around, forcing me towards the other people in the building. I knocked one guy down, and he was struggling, when I noticed the Diet Coke sitting in the hallway for no good reason. So, having played enough video games in my day, I drank it.
Immediately, I felt my mind clear, and I could control myself again. Unfortunately, now the guy I had been choking had the old day-glo going on. So I poured the rest of the Diet Coke down his throat, and he returned to normal. Everyone in the hall started cheering and clapping me on the back.
Somebody said, "Hey, we have to get those folks outside to drink Coke, too!"
"I have a better idea," I said. "Just make sure not to look at their eyes.
I set my mini gun up on the roof and annihalated the crowd of zombies.
THE END.
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Huh. My dream was about my SO and I being in our 80's, and I was on my deathbed, and we had like 8 people around my bed, and I was happy they were there so I could say goodbye to them, but inside I wanted them all to go away so I could be alone with Sara one last time.
I think given the choice, I'd have rather had a dream about Disney porn.
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I think given the choice, I'd have rather had a dream about Disney porn.
Mine was about my ex SO, and having a wonderful time, so yeah... Definitely rather have had the Disney porn.
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Well, that one wasn't so much "Disney Porn" as "Walt Disney Presents: Porn."
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I think your preference of shooting all the zombies to saving them suggests that maybe you've played too many video games.
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Huh. My dream was about my SO and I being in our 80's, and I was on my deathbed, and we had like 8 people around my bed, and I was happy they were there so I could say goodbye to them, but inside I wanted them all to go away so I could be alone with Sara one last time.
Oh man that is so sad.
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I had a dream that someone gave me 1,000 jack-in-the-boxes for no reason whatsoever. They were all black and white and laughed like this kid who used to pick on me in grade school.
By the end of the dream I was covered in broken boxes and springs.
I woke up with a craving for crepes, but I don't know how much this had to do with the dream.
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I think your preference of shooting all the zombies to saving them suggests that maybe you've played too many video games.
Actually, the only game platfrom I ever owned was a Sega Genesis. I had Sonic the Hedgehog and some Aladdin Game. And on the computer, the most violent game I own is Rome: Total War.
So it's definitely movies that are to blame.
I had a dream that someone gave me 1,000 jack-in-the-boxes for no reason whatsoever. They were all black and white and laughed like this kid who used to pick on me in grade school.
By the end of the dream I was covered in broken boxes and springs.
I thought you were talking about fast food at first. This kid who picked on you, did he have a habit of hiding in a box and then jumping out of it?
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I had a dream that someone gave me 1,000 jack-in-the-boxes for no reason whatsoever. They were all black and white and laughed like this kid who used to pick on me in grade school.
By the end of the dream I was covered in broken boxes and springs.
I thought you were talking about fast food at first. This kid who picked on you, did he have a habit of hiding in a box and then jumping out of it?[/quote]
*blink* No... no he did not. *blink blink*
*cough*
mmyep... on the plus side, I knocked over the SunSphere
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Huh. My dream was about my SO and I being in our 80's, and I was on my deathbed, and we had like 8 people around my bed, and I was happy they were there so I could say goodbye to them, but inside I wanted them all to go away so I could be alone with Sara one last time.
Oh man that is so sad.
At first, I thought you said "rad."
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I had a very vivid dream last night - probably one of the most vivid I've ever had.
I had taken up with a group of strongly ethnic people in a restaurant that was basicaly the universe, there was no need to leave it - everything I could ever want was in the restaurant, but it was also in an old train station turned to a quaint tourist mall with other shops. I could come and go from the restaurant, but didn't really feel the desire to leave - it was too nice to be with all the warm, loving people inside. The people included a late 30'ish woman, very beautiful, who I had a crush on, an attractive early 30's-ish man with long black curly hair, who I also had a crush on, and their entire family including young people and an older matriach character who seems to sort of run the restaurant, which was full of life, and lots of people speaking what I assumed to be Greek. I was at a table with many of these people, eating beautiful Greek-like food and loads of wine - I had a pastry filled with cheese and spinach, like a spanikopita, only round and fully-incased by the pastry. The attractive man passionatly told me that the man sitting next to him, who didn't speak English, had imported these spinach things by plane, and that it had taken him three days to get them to us, "but it was worth it!" He then kissed the non-English-speaking man on the forehead very affectionately in the way only a European man could without looking totally gay. They hugged, everyone hugged.
I realized I was too full to eat the spinach thing, so I tried to wrap it up in a fabric napkin, but it squashed and cheese and spinach came out of all sides, making a real mess. I was pretty embarassed, but no one else cared, and I looked around and everyone was having a good time, so I just forgot about the mess.
I became a little disoriented and looked around, only to notice the restaurant was decorated with very Asian looking items: paper lanterns, maybe dragons, and what looked like Chinese characters. Then I noticed some small ceramic figures that looked like a cross between Ukranian Cossak fighters and traditional Chinese Kung-fu masters. I was puzzeled in regard to the ethnicity of the people I was hanging out with - were they Greek, or Chinese, or maybe Ukranian? I felt some anxiety about this, but then the attractive woman called me to her very warmly, put her arm over my shoulder, and I realized that it really didn't matter.
I ended up in the kitchen with the attractive woman, we were talking about cooking - I was very excited to learn about their cooking style, since it was very different from my own. The matriach character was there too, and I remember thinking that her and the attractive woman and man were related, but that she was not their mother. The women had a large pan of layered yellow cake with a buttercream icing, which they insisted that I taste even though I was pretty full. I took a bite, and it was flavourless, but it caused me to feel total uphoria, and I told them this. We all hugged, and I was weeping for joy, I think. It was a warm, non-sexual moment of human contact.
I exited the restaurant into the tourist mall, which seemed to be the very tourist mall that I work next to in waking life, but wasn't quite the same.
Then I was walking along beside an ocean-like body of water with the attractive long haired man, and he was being very flirtatious, and I wanted to return his affections, but I was conflicted because I wasn't sure if it was just his "European way" to be so passionate, or if he really had feelings for me. I was very attracted to him, so I felt a great deal of stress about this. I couldn't figure it out. We reached the path that would take us back to the restaurant, and he said we should go in. I knew that if I went in with him that something would be over - maybe between him and I, or maybe the whole utopian world of the restaurant. I don't know if I went in or not, because that's where my dream ended.
How weird is that? retelling it, there were a lot of moments of anxiety, but the overall feeling was of wonder and magic that such a utopia existed, and that I had found it. I can't make any connections between the dream and my real life. Can anyone decipher this?
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How weird is that? retelling it, there were a lot of moments of anxiety, but the overall feeling was of wonder and magic that such a utopia existed, and that I had found it. I can't make any connections between the dream and my real life. Can anyone decipher this?
It sounds like you were in a Miyazaki movie. If only there were little balls of soot running around.
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I had a very vivid dream last night - probably one of the most vivid I've ever had.
I would just like to say that I enjoyed reading about your dream. I think some of the euphoria rubbed off on me. No idea what it means, though, but who says it has to mean anything?
The other night I dreamed that various cockroach/other animal hybrids were scurrying around in my bathtub. There was a cockroach rat, a cockroach giraffe (silvery, slithery, with fins and gills), and a cockroach banana. I don't want to read too much into this.
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I had a very vivid dream last night - probably one of the most vivid I've ever had.
I would just like to say that I enjoyed reading about your dream. I think some of the euphoria rubbed off on me. No idea what it means, though, but who says it has to mean anything?
The other night I dreamed that various cockroach/other animal hybrids were scurrying around in my bathtub. There was a cockroach rat, a cockroach giraffe (silvery, slithery, with fins and gills), and a cockroach banana. I don't want to read too much into this.
Wow, that sounds deeply disturbing. Also the banana cockroach reminds me of this weird soya sauce comercial (http://yoga.at.infoseek.co.jp/flash/kaijin_e.htm)
I've been thinking about my dream, and I think it's about my work: See I work in a theatre (the utopian restaurant) for my boss - my current job is the attractive woman - familiar, non-threatening and safe, but I have recently auditioned for a roll in a touring show with the same theatre - this other job is the attractive man - I'm uncertain of him, but attracted to him. I'm not sure if I really want to get the role because I love my current job, but the roll in the play would be deeply satisfying as well and would involve touring the provence - mostly to Northern communities along the Hudson bay, hence the walking along the large body of water.
Basically I'm conflicted about two equally attractive jobs under the same "utopian" theatre company.
I have no controle over what happens - it's up to the director and I'm compeating against one other actor. I've sort of pushed the whole thing from my mind, so I guess my subconcious was mulling it over since I haven't put much thought into it in waking life - I will likely find out on Friday if I got the part or not.
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I didn't get the part in the play.
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I didn't get the part in the play.
I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm glad you at least know that the other job will work out.
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I used to never have dreams involving celebrities, but that's wrong now.
Last night I dreamed that I was hanging around with friends when suddenly it was time for them to go be Modest penis in the concert, so we all got in the golf cart and drove to the theatre for the show. I sat in the front passenger seat, and the guy driving had an icepack on his knee but he was an ok driver.
So we get to the theatre before the crowd is there and I have a backstage pass so the bodyguards let me up on the stage. I should mention that even though the band is supposed to be Modest penis, I don't know what those people look like so they look like Semisonic.
Backstage, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are there with their entourage, and so is my dad, who mistakes Whitney for Wilson Philips (who is in actual fact several people!) and tries to talk about how much he likes that song they sang. Bobby gives everybody drinks and we hang out until it is time for the show, and suddenly my vision starts blurring and twisting, and I know that Whitney has poisoned us all.
I try to get out the word "hallucinogen," but I pass out and when I wake up Modest penis is dead on the stage and so I run to try to catch the real killers. I jump in the golf cart, which now has the body bag of the singer on the back, and take off. There's a chase scene and the body ends up falling and causing a crash. Then I'm being chased by the cops, but I have these really short stubby wings so I can fly over a chain-link fence to get away.
Huh.
Just had to share it.
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List, thats way more fucked up than my Paul Simon dreams.
~Paul
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You know, normally I live by the statement that there's nothing more boring than other people's dreams, but that was some entertaining shizzle Lister. Kudos.
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suddenly it was time for them to go be Modest penis
Goddamn but I hope that's not a typo, I love sentences and logic that runs like this. 'Put on these shoes and have feet like me.'