The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: side_show on December 09, 2005, 10:30:44 am
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Come on, you know you've all done it.
My SO and I have recently both had to lie to our bosses, for the SO it was so he could have a job interview with a compeating company for a much better paying job, and for me it's was to get out of working a 24 hour teen playwritting festival that would have killed me with exhaustion!
You know you've told some whoppers, so share up my peeps.
That's right, I wrote "peeps" - what are you gonna do about it?
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I have an INSANE fear of falling. Not so much a fear of heights, I can go into tall buildings and what not. But I can't climb ladders unless there's something hell of sturdy to hold on to. If I'm at a mall where the center of the upper floors is cut away so you can look down at the floors below, I can't go anywhere near the railing. I have to be a good ten feet away if I don't want to get that oh-shit feeling.
I have lied to two bosses about this fear, that it's genesis came when I was a little boy and my dad made me climb up a ladder with something, and I lost my balance and fell. Because having a fear of falling sounds better when you attach some childhood trauma to it rather than the truth: I'm a wimp who can't control my own impulses.
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"My tooth fell off, gotta go" (holding hand in front of mouth).
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Terrifying things
I have also had this fear for a long time until recently. It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump. It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills. Recently it left.. I'll get little snippets of it sometimes, but not nearly as bad (usually I only get it when doing something ridiculous I'd never do in real life via a video game or something), which just goes to show that with booze, you stop caring... or something.
Anyway, as far as lying to my boss goes; every day my friends, when I tell him that I really care and want to do a good job.
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Oh don't get me started about escalators. I can't ride them if I'm carrying anything. I have to have both hands on the railings.
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I have also had this fear for a long time until recently. It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump. It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills.
God, isn't that such a terrifying feeling? I still get that in certain situations.
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I have lied to two bosses about this fear, that it's genesis came when I was a little boy and my dad made me climb up a ladder with something, and I lost my balance and fell. Because having a fear of falling sounds better when you attach some childhood trauma to it rather than the truth: I'm a wimp who can't control my own impulses.
I actually fell off of a ladder, well more precisely, the ladder broke and I fell damaging my acl. I now have a mild fear of ladders. I'll still go on one, but I get a little nuts about checking it out for safety. I've always been proud of my lack of irrational fears. I stood at the lip of the Grand Canyon (http://www.paulmcrae.com/images/Miscellany/Misc/paul057.grndcnyn.jpg), but now I get a little twinge of fear just looking at the pictures.
~Paul
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I have also had this fear for a long time until recently. It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump. It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills.
God, isn't that such a terrifying feeling? I still get that in certain situations.
I hate it, but I feel a little better knowing that there are other people who don't trust their legs at times as well.
It is always.. ALWAYS terrifying to not trust a piece of oneself.
(Please no c*ck jokes about the last line, for it is a truth.)
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Oh yeah, and everyone has lied to their boss, the whole relationship is based on lies called a resume?
~Paul
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It's rad that this is in Sports & Leisure. Lying to your boss is fun!
So the other day my friend told my boss that I had lied about doing something she had asked me to do (it was all in good fun). My boss looked at me and said "you don't seem like the kind of guy who would do that," and I said "no, I really did," and she replied, "no, I meant lie. You don't seem like the kind of guy who would lie." It was nice that she said that, and while I consider my self to be pretty honest, I'm not Kantian about it or anything, and will lie, you know, to save a life, or even to get myself out of a bad or sticky situation. It makes me wonder if I have lied to her but can't remember it, and she has found out about it, and is trying to guilt a confession out of me. Or maybe she just thinks I'm a great guy.
I do have a secret crush on my boss, and only the friend mentioned above knows. My boss is intimidating, and I think it's a bit of a turn-on. What can I say? She terrifies me! It's worrisome because this friend has a big mouth when she drinks, and sometimes my boss is around when drinking is going on, and it could lead to awkward situations.
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It's worrisome because this friend has a big mouth when she drinks, and sometimes my boss is around when drinking is going on, and it could lead to awkward situations.
Or disturbingly erotic ones. At least you've never had to work for this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/Bozack/shovel-angle.jpg) woman. I did. She would actually sort of jokingly flirt with her underlings in order to get them to take bad shifts, etc. She once got two of my friends to spend 8 hours, every Monday, cleaning the restaurant by saying please with her lip sort of quivering and showing up the first Monday in tiny, tiny shorts. She was a PRO.
I'm taking a shit shift today, but my boss isn't an attractive woman. Lucky for him, I'm just a total pushover. My latest boss lie is, "No, I'd be happy to work on Friday."
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Holy shit! For her, I would spend 8 hours every Monday...well, let's not go there right now. It's been far too long for me.
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I'm good unless I stand at the edge and just look at it for a while. But the world supply of money/hooker/&c is no where near large enough to get me onto that Nightmare Bridge of Untimely and Shrieking Death (http://www.snopes.com/photos/architecture/skywalk.asp) they're putting up at the Grand Canyon.
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I'm good unless I stand at the edge and just look at it for a while. But the world supply of money/hooker/&c is no where near large enough to get me onto that Nightmare Bridge of Untimely and Shrieking Death (http://www.snopes.com/photos/architecture/skywalk.asp) they're putting up at the Grand Canyon.
Just looking at that concept drawing is making my testicles ascend into my body for protection.
Luckily bozack has supplied an image of his old boss to help me coax them back out. (I kid I kid.. not until my lunch break)
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Okay, I guess I'll tell the resume story now.
Every time I revise my resume I track which version it is by some ridiculous job included on it, like speechwriter for President Ford (he was so great at giving speeches), Submarine Salesman, Bongo Tuner, etc.
Right now my fake job is "March 1980-September 1984. Los Angeles Mental Rehabilitation Clinic. Disco Deprogrammer. Helped acclimate dancefloor divas from the dance and fashion styles of the 1970s disco era to then extrant fashions. Narrowed neckties, shortened collars, and reduced pant flares. Worked to transition patients away from ludes and smack to coke, speed, and crack."
Then if they don't ask me about the fake thing I know they haven't even read the resume.
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Then if they don't ask me about the fake thing I know they haven't even read the resume.
Oh, this is rad. And I thought I was clever putting joke entries in the index to my dissertation.
Isn't it weird that people do that? Interview you without knowing what's in your resume? I'll never understand it.
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My whole inspiration behind posting this thread is that I am currently working with my boss to hire a new theatre school vice principal, and spent over two days solid going through resumes. Some of them were so obviously padded, it was a joke. More interesting is that many of the men who were applying sent in head shots or even a couple of photo portfolios, which is deeply confusing since this is an admin job. "Hey buddy, I don't give a fuck what your face looks like, but if I did, this picture ain't selling it!"
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On the subject of "fear of falling": oh yes. I don't fear planes, high floors on buildings, or any other situation where I'm obviously enclosed and safe, but anything with a ladder or a railing and I'm dead. (Escalators are okay unless they're really steep.) That Grand Canyon Skyway squirmifies me.
On lying: does lying to your prof count? Because I've definitely used "I was sick"/"I had a commitment" instead of "I just kind of forgot I had lab today." (Admittedly, the one time when this was really egregious -- twenty minutes late to a fifty-minute discussion section -- my explanation was true, but still.)
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I am somewhat scared of heights, but I like to push myself a bit. I've been bungee jumping before, and it was great. I don't know if I'd try skydiving, but I'd try lots of other things, and I think the skybridge would be delightful(ly terrifying).
On lying: does lying to your prof count? Because I've definitely used "I was sick"/"I had a commitment" instead of "I just kind of forgot I had lab today." (Admittedly, the one time when this was really egregious -- twenty minutes late to a fifty-minute discussion section -- my explanation was true, but still.)
I have done this more often than lying to bosses, yes. I figure, you know, I'm fuck*ng paying you guys, so it's OK to lie every once in a while.
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This example shows that sometimes lying is the right thing to do. Speaking as a former professor, I definitely would have wanted my students to have the good sense to make something up rather than saying "I kind of forgot I had lab today."
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I am a strategic liar. I build up credibility for The Big Lie.
Any lies I tell are generally on the social level, like saying "Hi" when I mean "Go to hell, you worthless prick." Stuff that's expected, you know. I try to own up specifically in cases where most people would lie, just to build up the impression that I'm honest. In most cases it just isn't a big deal if I'm five minutes late, so why bother?
Then, when I need it, I have The Big Lie. My best use of it so far was in my senior year in college, when I set up a professor who I'd had for several A's previously. Half of our final grade was a huge pain in the ass paper, and I just didn't get it done before it was due. I ran into the professor somewhere on campus a few hours before the deadline, asked him when he'd be in the office, etc. I dropped by his office later and engaged in conversation but didn't actually turn anything in. I went home for the weekend, finished the paper by Monday, back-dated the file just in case, and went about life as normal.
After a few days the professor saw me in the hall and asked if I'd turned in a paper. I told him I had, and referenced the conversation we'd had in his office. He said he'd look for it again. Friday, a week after the due date, he said he couldn't find it and asked for a new copy, which I provided later that day. All in all, I got a week extra to work on it (even though it only needed a few more days), and an A, because I'd set him up to believe I was honest and acted consistently.
Whether he actually believed me or not was immaterial, because he had no reason to suspect me (and also I hid a duplicate copy of my paper in his office, later).
I do have a phobia related to falling, though escalators aren't a problem. Looking at that horror bridge at the Grand Canyon made my palms sweat. Yerg.
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Lister: wow. You are my hero.
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Lister: Now that is evil and wrong.
Also more to the point it's much more risky. If someone's found out in the lie about why they were late to lab, I think it would be no big deal. But if someone had somehow found you out, well, they would have thought it was evil and wrong and the consequences would be worse.
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Yeah, the only problem with Big Lies is that they're much riskier than little lies; like Wombat said, most profs don't care about why you were late to class or lab as long as it doesn't become a chronic problem, but all but one prof I have known would roast you over the coals for lying to their faces about having turned in a final paper. (The only one I have had who wouldn't was also the kind of prof who just sort of let you turn in papers whenever, with no explanation expected, and even he would probably be peeved about the violation of trust.) Were I in that situation, I would be truthful and apologetic to the prof and make sure that the paper was exceptionally good.
That said, since you pulled it off: do they clang together when they walk, dude? Honestly.
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Honestly, I'm not sure I could pull something like that off again. At that period in my life I was basically depressed and didn't care. Senior Blahs and stuff: I also got an incomplete that quarter for not going to my Statistics class. I only went to five of my programming classes, too, but they were all the exams (though I did go to the wrong room for the final).
Fun with college! Stuff that would get you fired so bad is forgiveable.
And no clanging, but they kinda chafe in hot weather.
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(though I did go to the wrong room for the final).
Oooh, classic nightmare. Did you figure it out before you sat down to take the exam? Had you forgotten to wear ##### too?
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(though I did go to the wrong room for the final).
Oooh, classic nightmare. Did you figure it out before you sat down to take the exam? Had you forgotten to wear ****** too?
I was wearing #####, but I didn't realize it was the wrong class until I actually looked at the test (It was FORTRAN or something; I'd been taking C). I looked through it, turned pale, walked up, turned it in, and walked out. Lots of people stared at me, too. That was kind of neat.
I was lucky on two counts: first, that the exam schedule was posted in that building, and second, that I went earlier than my exam actually was.
You know, that quarter was really bad for me.
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Ooooh, FORTRAN nightmare. That's stone cold. I'm expecting some frightening ADA hallucinations this spring.
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Man, and I thought my anxiety dreams were bad. (Last night it was "I failed my Japanese 401 exam so badly that they made me return to Japanese 302, so I couldn't complete the major," and a few nights before that it was "Cornell has a cursory interview with me and rejects me immediately because they don't like the cut of my jib, or something." But Fortran? Eegah!)
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OK, I had a dream last night about dropping a class and a protracted process trying to find a drop-add slip and get it signed. I can only imagine it's the fault of reading you guys's posts since I am fifteen years out of school and several years out of being on the other side of the desk.
PS: They still teach Fortran?
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They still teach Fortran?
This was... 1998. Or late 1997. The engineering department at Auburn was decidedly oldschool - my engineer roomate had to take FORTRAN as a freshman because there was a programming requirement and that was the only language they taught at the time (1994). They were one of the last "Learn algorithms, not code" computer science programs in the country, as far as I recall.
They probably teach C++ by now.
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I can testify that they still teach FORTRAN, mostly to engineers. What is far more shocking to me, as a computer science major, is that in some places they still teach (nearly exclusively!) COBOL.
I was at an interview recently, and many of the other candidates were from a school whose campus recruiting is heavily sponsored by banks, and apparently they have enough muscle to keep COBOL included in the curriculum.
For shame, financial institutions. COBOL is a silly language - it is silly to use COBOL.