The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: AugustWest on January 21, 2006, 01:52:13 am
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Pictures of my new office.
I have hung a shingle. My office is in a 140 year old building in the heart of downtown Frankfort. I can see the state Capitol and the Kentucky River from my window. Without further ado:
The building from the outside. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeoutside.JPG)
Plaque. Mmm, historical. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeplaque.JPG)
Architectural detail. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officedetail.JPG)
My door. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officedoor.JPG)
The reception area. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeentry.JPG)
My diplomas, looking through the office. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officediplomas.JPG)
The conference room. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeconf.JPG)
The conference room, again. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeconf2.JPG)
My inner office and desk. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officedesk.JPG)
Inner office again. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officedesk2.JPG)
View from one my front windows. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/officeview.JPG)
And a completely different subject:
Boxers sleeping in the sun. (http://frank.plagiarist.com/pix/boxers in the sun.JPG)
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I would buy lawyering in that office. Way to go Mr. Dempsey. You shoot your gun and the laws be dancin'.
~Paul
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Oh, nice.
One small suggestion: I'm not sure the microwave on top of the refrigerator inspires confidence. Couldja put it on a table?
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Oh, nice.
One small suggestion: I'm not sure the microwave on top of the refrigerator inspires confidence. Couldja put it on a table?
See, see what I mean? You make a few innocent passes at the woman and the next thing you know she's trying to re arrange your furniture.
~Paul
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WAIT a minute. It only just now hit me that August and Jough have the same last name IRL. What are the odds?
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WAIT a minute. It only just now hit me that August and Jough have the same last name IRL. What are the odds?
Have we ever seen them in the same room together?
Anyway, very nice. I especially like the cute boxers, but that may just be because I'm listening to "The Boxer" right now and it seemed sort of like kismet.
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Have we ever seen them in the same room together?
Oh wow, I'm having a Fight Club moment....
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blah blah blah...non important blahs...I'm listening to "The Boxer" right now and...whatever blah blah blah.
Is that "The Boxer" by The Chemical Brothers (featuring Tim Burgess) off the Push the Button album?
hmmm?
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Does it mean I'm old if I just immediately assumed Simon and Garfunkle?
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Does it mean I'm old if I just immediately assumed Simon and Garfunkle?
Um yeah is there another one?
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It's Garfunkel dammit.
Oh what do I care, he's just a singer with a pretty voice. He ain't shit without Paul Simon.
~Paul
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It's Garfunkel dammit.
Oh what do I care, he's just a singer with a pretty voice. He ain't shit without Paul Simon.
~Paul
I realized that too late.
Come chat, Paul.
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Um yeah is there another one?
I think so...maybe not.
Is that "The Boxer" by The Chemical Brothers (featuring Tim Burgess) off the Push the Button album?
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Dude, that's all like Ching Chong Wing Wong to us old fucks.
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It was the Garfunkel. I haven't heard of the other one either.
Now I feel old.
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V, let me assure you that you are most certainly NOT old.
Bask in your youth.
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Congratulations, Cuz. I expect many years of prosperity lie ahead of you.
That's a nice view from the window. Also, the wall behind your desk is oval? That's pretty sweet.
So how far of a commute is it to work now?
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Same as it ever was. About 25 minutes.
Yes, it is a curved wall. It's pretty sweet. Check out the outside picture, it's shows the curvature.
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I saw that.
So what type of law is your focus (focus isn't the right word - but I'm tired and half-in-the-bag and can't think of the word that means your legal concentration)? Still construction/industry?
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Administrative, which would include construction.
Anything where you're dealing with an agency and not a court.
I can do courts too, no problem, but I think there's an underserved market segment available. Plus it's what I know how to do best.
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Does it mean I'm old if I just immediately assumed Simon and Garfunkle?
I'm wondering what it means if I automatically assumed Carbon Leaf.
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Is Carbon Leaf a band name? It sure is a better band name than Simon and Garfunkel.
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Hey Aug,
Your new office is great.
It looks just like the sort of law office - both interior and exterior- that a dame would go to in a black and white film noir movie. And she would be all hysterical, and you would have to slap her across the face to bring her back to her senses.
Either that, or your office sort of looks like an Edward Hopper painting (http://www.edwardhopper.com/).
Are you going to hire a receptionist who files her nails and subtly flirts with you?
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Smells is totally right. Even the name goes with it.
It was a quiet night here in the middle of nowhere. This is a place where dreams go to die and men with hardened souls shrivel up in their winter shacks and do themselves unspeakable horrors. It's a place where women live at the mercy of such men, their cries for justice echoing in my ears like the empty glass of bourbon nearby.
I watched her slide in slowly on legs made of sweet heavy cream. She looked at me under the brim of her hat and her eyes shimmered knife-like; stabbing into a dead heart that I thought long ago had stopped beating for such pleasures.
"I need someone. Someone to listen," she said, her eyes misting like exhaust on a cold Kentucky day.
I was that someone. I was, Frank L. Dempsey, attourney at law!
Damn.. seriously.. the amount of adventures you're already having ...IN MY MIND.
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Tiny Cans for Smells and Q. Someone take one away from me for not making a similar observation.
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Telling people to take away a can? Why in my book that earns you another can!
Also, mister, your hard-boiled prose is excellent! Bravo, brav-oh-ho-ho-hooooo.
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Mr Online, I gave you a can, but tell me where is the suck fucktitude? Could be the legs made out of sweet heavy cream I suppose.
Butter legs.
~Paul
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Dang, that kind of makes me want to go in to work. Who knows what I'm missing!
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Dang, that kind of makes me want to go in to work. Who knows what I'm missing!
And when you do go, don't forget your fedora and trench coat.
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Paul, butter legs could be Sick Fuckery I suppose. But I suspect that it would truly come from the evil that is the opponents of Frank L. Dempsey, Attourney at Law!
There he was in the courtroom, sitting with a smug grin that yellowed with years of tar stains and bravado; his gap-toothed smile staring at me like a set of keys to a door someone has long since forgotten. His lawyer stood nearby. Francis Dellacotte, I knew him rather well. A slimy rat who'd do anything or anyone for a buck; and over the years he'd done em all. In my pocket I fingered the only partner I trusted; my Sheaffer Legacy Victorian fountain pen. All the years and she was the only woman who'd ever stayed by my side through those long lonely nights in darkened libraries.
Man, I'd start serializing this, but it'd probably get old. However from now on, all of AW's posts read this way in my mind.
(Speaking of which can you be an attourney at anything else?)
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Dammit Mr Online, you keep this up and you'll be giving Wombat a run for the money in the tiny cans department.
~Paul
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*blush*
At least now I have a personality that will set me apart from miles! Huzzah!
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Q, you are an eternal delight. More Dr Pepper for you.
That said, picturing AW Noir makes me think of something else entirely:
The stage lights threw Trebek's face into hard, hideous shadows as he realized we were coming out of commercial. I glanced sideways, pleased to see the returning champion sweating bullets, ratlike face twitching. He knew I'd seen his weakness and that the times in my life when I'd have had mercy were so much water through the sewer now. I caressed my buzzer like a lover, getting it ready, tensed like a panther. "Welcome back," said Trebek, "as we get started with Double Jeopardy..."
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V wins the internet.
This thread makes me want to lay down my crown of tiny cans and retire. Carry on, young ones, I pass the torch on to you...
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(Speaking of which can you be an attourney at anything else?)
Yes. Lloyd's Plan Insurers use something called an attorney-in-fact.
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I'm not sure how comfortable I am being fictionalized like this.
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AW: I promise it was an homage. A poor one at best. But, I shan't go any further... despite my desire to write the story of your amazing briefcase brawl with "Two-Tone" Tony, of the bad side of the tracks legal team.
It really was an amazing brawl
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Aug, you've forgotten you're imaginary in the first place, so what could be the harm of being fictionalized.
And anyway, now aren't you dying to hear about the briefcase brawl?
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I didn't say stop, I was feeling a little ambivalent.
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I have to admit, I got nothin' further. I guess I'll just have to wait for further inspiration to strike.
Assuming AW's ambivalence doesn't waveform-collapse into disapproval, of course...
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I didn't say stop, I was feeling a little ambivalent.
Well in that case.
There I stood. Pressed between a rock and a hard place. The hard place was the brick wall of my office and the rock was the head of "Two-Tone" Tony, one of the vile counterweights from the lawfirm of Smith, Johnson, and Suckit. Tony wasn't big enough to get his name on a board, and their kind traveled in packs. I travel alone, but then I'm Frank L. Dempsey, Attourney at Law!
Tony smiled with the self-satisfied smug of a thug who knows he'll get his doggie treat for the night. Catching me out of sorts was probably the only thing the rat bastard had ever done right in his life.
"So Frank, what's it gonna be? You gonna give up the goods on the dame's daliances past or am I gonna beat em out of ya?"
I wiped the blood from the side of my mouth where he had hit me earlier with his briefcase. It tasted like a sack full of pennies, which is, just what I had in my own briefcase. I saw him start to reel back, waiting for another blow I dove to the ground, snatched up my sack of pennies and whirled on him.
I heard it him before I'd even realized I landed my target. He was out; cold. Slumped against the wall like a ragdoll that a little girl doesn't want to play with anymore.
Tonight was a night for justice. Tonight a dame would sleep soundly and safe, and she didn't even have to know I did this just for her. That's the way it is in this world. That's how it is for me, Frank L. Dempsey; Attourney at Law!
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The Adventures of Frank L. Dempsey, Attorney at Law
The paperwork hit my desk like McCluskey's personal gorilla hit the deck after I popped him one because I didn't like his shoes. McCluskey was on the warpath for me when he found out I was on the case. He was trying to break ground on a new distillery but had neglected to file the RF8713.32a report with the county. I just happened to have an RF8713.32a sitting on my desk.
I put McCluskey's name on the top of the form. No two-bit bourbon hussler was going to put one over on this county - not on my watch. I proceeded to fill out that form like Babs O'Houllihan fills out her prom dress. I quickly checked the "Categorically Exempt" box on the section for "Environmental Accessment" and wondered how many palms McCluskey had to grease to get the job started without filing the RF8713.32a "Right of Way Construction Permit," but I could feel a bit of it on my hand. This was big. This went all the way up to the top. Right to the same people who I meet when I file paperwork down at the courthouse. Right down to the very people I'm supposed to serve.
I'd show 'em how to file the proper forms. I'd file 'em so well no one would suspect they were never filed to begin with. I'd file 'em with perfect precision on an old Underwood typewriter that's been sitting on this desk as long as there were desks for them to sit on. I'd file 'em tonight. I'd file 'em in triplicate.
The only thing I had to do was to make sure McCluskey's insurance underwriter would be immune from claims. So I filled out the waiver of the Permittee's immunity under the industrial insurance provisions of Title 51 RCW, which waiver hasn't been mutually negotiated by the parties, but which my forms claim they have.
The way I'm cookin' it, in the event it is determined that RCW 4.24.115 applies to this permit, the Permittee (that'd be McCluskey) agrees to defend, hold harmless, and indemnify the county to the maxiumum extent permitted thereunder, and specifically for its negligence concurrent with that of the county to the full extent of Permittee's negligence. All that's left to do is to make sure the distillery burns like Rome, and I'm Nero, and this RF8713.32a permit is my fiddle.
No dames are going to swig cutrate hooch. Not tonight. Not ever. I'm Frank L. Dempsey, Attourney at Law, and if you cut corners, I'll cut you down like a frat boy outgrowing his predilection for leggy blondes cuts down his dorm room poster of Sadie d'Orfee.
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Yay! A tiny can for you jough. Nice.
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fanfic.
chat rooms.
tiny cans of dr pepper.
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congrats on your new office AW.
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QUEEN WOMBAT OF THE TINY CANS DEMANDS YOUR PRESENCE --
Oh, who am I kidding. I'll never pull that one off.
Where was everyone last night? I swear I was kidding when I complained about youall keeping me up too late. You're not going to leave me alone just when my Technical Staff is about to go away on vacation without me? Tomorrow through next Saturday? Not too late because I still have to go to work early on weird days? Please?
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I know I'll be around later tonight most likely. And definitely late into the night on Saturday. (Some plans got c-tothe-ancelled)
However, we both know it's not me you're hoping is there and you'll probably just end up typing Japanese all night again.
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Q that is So Wrong. I am definitely hoping you will be there. You mean all those tiny cans I gave you didn't count for anything?
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Aww baby baby, don't be that way!
Here, have a can, just like old times! But Womby! Old Times! (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06282002)
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Q's getting a tiny can for linking to my first Achewood strip, and still one of my favorites. You... are... rad!
Anyway, I realize I've been largely absent, and for this I claim only my own weakness and busy schedule. Mea maxima culpa. I will probably not be around tonight either -- we've having a wine-and-cheese social, and several people I may never see again will be there -- but I will try to return to active chat attendance soon.
(Also, mixtapes. This week. I swear to God.)