The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: bluebird_of_unhappiness on September 04, 2003, 12:37:12 pm
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Boy does Beef ever get the ball rolling. He was such the bad boy.
Strip (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=09032003).
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I'm still of the opinion that the Variety Hour is intentionally lame, considering how good the strip's been lately.
So why is Teodor wincing? Sordid past?
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I think he might be napping, as he had the same expression in the last strip. Best guess!
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It looks like only Beef, Lyle, and Mr. Bear (maybe Mingus, too) are awake, and Mr. Bear is just observing. We can't see Todd but he'd be way more vocal if conscious.
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I'm hoping that for tomorrow's (well, today's) strip, we see Lyle talk about his childhood; the few snippets we get of his past are appropriately sordid and bizarre, so you just know he was grooving on more than the cusses of 2 Live Crew.
Either that, or maybe Lyle will shut Beef up as a sheer act of mercy.
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Maybe this is a way for Onstad to let us in on a little more character background.
I hope Nice Pete has a little somethin' to say.
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I must say that I haven't seen the word 'queef' actually written down in....ummm.....
I think it's entirely possible that this is the first time I have ever seen the word 'queef' written down....
I posit that I have never seen the word 'queef' written down.
There.
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I confess... I am unfamiliar with the term.
Anyone.... anyone?
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Queef
I'm too verklempt to put in my own words.
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I'm too verklempt to put in my own words.
And yet so many other people felt the need to do just that. Longest urban dictionary listing I've seen.
I think that Beef's disbelief of the "concept" is yet another insight into his character that came to us through the oddest route possible.
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Téodor = passed out drunk
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I'm too verklempt to put in my own words.
And yet so many other people felt the need to do just that. Longest urban dictionary listing I've seen.
I think that Beef's disbelief of the "concept" is yet another insight into his character that came to us through the oddest route possible.
Yet it's this big, major incident of his childhood -- at least major enough to feature in random, possibly-drunken dumbwaiter ramblings. Is it just me, or does Beef have a real ambivalence about the "queef concept?"
(If Onstad writes a strip involving further exploration of Beef'n'queef...)
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Never heard of Queef before, down here it's always just been refered to as a pussy fart. Queef sounds much nicer.
~Paul
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I was pondering some kind of strange (female?) Alter Ego like "Rose Queef" - Roast Beef's rowdy, butch feminine side.
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That's more queeves than I've ever seen all together. Yeesh!
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I confess... I am unfamiliar with the term.
Anyone.... anyone?
I was too. I discover thanks to the dictionary entry that it's because we have a different, and possibly more fitting word - Feltch.
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I was too. I discover thanks to the dictionary entry that it's because we have a different, and possibly more fitting word - Feltch.
Oh, dude, you don't even want to know what "Felching" is on this side of the pond then....
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Felch
It's sad that I know that these words mean BEFORE I look them up. Would you believe that this used to be WORK RELATED!
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I'm with AlohaDawg. Felching is something entirely different, tho I had never heard of it being done with a straw...I had always heard that it was a special brand of rimming. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rimming)
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No, the straw is necessary. Unless you can really get your tongue up in the anal cavity.
I've said too much.
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I'm not even going to ask how you know that.
I'm guessing Shiela taught you.
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Oh my...
I think I prefer British sex slang! We don't even have a word for that, as far as I know, which as far as that goes isn't very far indeed!
Ack! Last time I eat and read this board!!
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See, I had always heard "felching" as a synonym for "gerbilling." Isn't it incredible how slang mutates?
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Felching definitely invovles a straw. Queefing is definitely real. Now then, how long before somebody brings up scat?
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You would probably bring up some scat if you got slapped on the back in mid-felch and accidentally swallowed. You might bring up lunch too.
There is also the (only) semi-mythical "Steamer (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=reverse+cowgirl+with+a+steamer)" to consider.
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Wow, I've learned so much from this thread. So, so much.
So, are we now officially the Dirtiest Dudes In Town?
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Perhaps even the Dirtiest Sanchezes (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty+sanchez) around.
That's enough now.
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Honey, this shit is just the basics.
Now if you wanted to talk getting a "lucky pierre" or being the "bob on" then we can start to get nazzzty.
Then of course there are the comical slangs: the "dirty sanchez" or the "houdini."
There's also the "sorry sally" but that's less of a sex act and more an act of violence.
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And don't forget the "donkey punch" that often comes up in Liberty Meadows
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And don't forget the "donkey punch" that often comes up in Liberty Meadows
Has anyone ever successfully performed the "donkey punch?" And, if so, has anyone who's ever successfully performed the "donkey punch" ever gotten laid again without having to relocate to a different city?
(Theoretical question, folks. Theoretical. I don't think I want a testimonial.)
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So, if someone admits donkey punching someone are we allowed to wildly judge them? Let's hope so!
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I'm actually not aware of the "donkey punch" although the "sorry sally" involves slamming poor "sally" in the back of the head (at the base of the neck, actually) causing all of her muscles to contract (and sally to pass out). Usually this would be done just at the time of climax during sodomy to improve sally's anus's dick-grabbing strength.
Sorry, Sally.
I think the next part would be to leave flowers, or to send Sally a gift basket of chocolate and bath oils or something.
And no, I've never done this.
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I'm actually not aware of the "donkey punch" although the "sorry sally" involves slamming poor "sally" in the back of the head (at the base of the neck, actually) causing all of her muscles to contract (and sally to pass out). Usually this would be done just at the time of climax during sodomy to improve sally's anus's dick-grabbing strength.
This basic procedure appears to be at the heart of the Donkey Punch as well, at least if the skeevy boys I knew in high school were at all correct. My personal thought is that, if anal sex is only good if you have to punch your partner out, you two really need to just have a talk about where the relationship is going.
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These things are funny, but ridiculously contrived.
In real life and all its sex, I’ve never done a ‘dirty sanchez.’ If one actually donkey punched or dirty sanchezed, the only purpose for it that I can see is for a quick laugh, or the satisfaction of having abused someone. The consequences of the act would not be worth the payoff. If one needed to perform such a ritual in order to reach orgasm, I could understand. That would take the subject of dirty sanchezes and the like into the territory of fetish deviance.
It’s an urban legend, getting nastier every year since Catullus (http://classics.furman.edu/~rprior/courses/L32/Catullus/catullus_80.htm).
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I'm actually not aware of the "donkey punch" although the "sorry sally" involves slamming poor "sally" in the back of the head (at the base of the neck, actually) causing all of her muscles to contract (and sally to pass out). Usually this would be done just at the time of climax during sodomy to improve sally's anus's dick-grabbing strength.
This basic procedure appears to be at the heart of the Donkey Punch as well, at least if the skeevy boys I knew in high school were at all correct. My personal thought is that, if anal sex is only good if you have to punch your partner out, you two really need to just have a talk about where the relationship is going.
I've heard the Donkey Punch is closer to bull riding, in that you punch her in the back of the head, which will cause her to kick at you like a donkey while you try to stay on.
I was always under the impression that all these concepts came from frats, where an endless supply of willing first-year girls was all but guaranteed.
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In real life and all its sex, I’ve never done a ‘dirty sanchez.’ If one actually donkey punched or dirty sanchezed, the only purpose for it that I can see is for a quick laugh, or the satisfaction of having abused someone. The consequences of the act would not be worth the payoff. If one needed to perform such a ritual in order to reach orgasm, I could understand. That would take the subject of dirty sanchezes and the like into the territory of fetish deviance.
Here, here!
Also, nice avatar!
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We're all embarrased now because we were talking about such nasty stuff.
~Paul
PS- I have no personal experience with any of the things mentioned in this thread.
PPS- Ok, that's not exactly true, I did once see (hear, whatever) a pussy fart, er queef.
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I was pondering whether this should be moved to...sounds? Smells?
This stuff, for the most part, lives in the imagination of adolescent virgins and demented misogynists (also virgins). Except for the queef, though. Was anyone listening to Howard Stern the day he had two women on having a queefing contest? One was even named "Queen LaQueefah". It sounded pretty wet. I'm sure it was interesting in the studio.
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I can't imagine pulling a "dirty sanchez" on a woman without her trying to cut your winkie off the next time you fell asleep in her presence.
I've always wanted to try the Houdini though. Just for laughs.
But these things are adolescent urban legends passed around by those who have neither had sex nor really know that much about it.
Funny, though.
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OK, I've known about everything else, but what's a Houdini?
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august, august, august.
Haven't you figured out by now there's a vast research tool at your fingertips? It's just a matter of a simple search and results.
Fine then, here ya go. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Houdini%2C+The)
Edited to add: I'd like to see someone pull of an Angry Pirate. Like the Donkey Punch, it's something I'd never EVER consider doing myself, but the Angry Pirate would sure as shit be funny to watch.
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Angry Pirate! I guess I would do it and then yell, What up, YO, HO! Or what up HO, YO!
I do like the variation with the 'giraffe hook'.
I think if we put our collective sick little minds together, we could make up a few of these and add them to the urban dictionary. Then we could watch as others add their 'definitions" to our new invention.
In fact, we could even use parts of our messageboard IDs in the names we make up. ie.:
Aloha Slammer
Drunken Wombat
Slinky Stinker
Just to name a few.
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Undoubtedly the Drunken Wombat would mean doing it while asleep. (Which thank god is less perverted than all those other things I've become terrified to click on the links for.)
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I get "passed out" more than asleep from the drunken Wombat. But to each her own...
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Slinky Stinker... I don't even want to go there. It could only be worse than the Dirty Sanchez, and that's not good!
It's like Lou Gehrig - poor guy will forever be known as a disease.