The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: CortJstr on April 19, 2006, 12:37:14 am
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God damn I love Lore:
http://slumbering.lunggiraffe.com/2006/04/placenta_helper.html
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So gross. Just... Ew.
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Aw, man. I guess it ain't Vader Time no more.
...I guess it hasn't been Vader Time for awhile now, though.
Change is always good, I've been thinking about changing it up for awhile now.
Anyway, I got no respect for a man if he don't eat the placenta raw.
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I cannot understand.
I try to undertand things. but oh my god, that makes me want to never eat again.
seriously, what the fuck.
I'm not even kidding. What is wrong with this man.
he wants to eat it.
he wants to chew it and put it in his belly.
the thing which his baby was inside of? which was inside his wife? you might recognize it as the sac covered in blood and amniotic fluid.
have you realized what thing I am talking about?
that is what he wants to eat. That is what tom cruise wants to eat.
this is going on a goddamn t-shirt.
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Aw, man. I guess it ain't Vader Time no more.
...I guess it hasn't been Vader Time for awhile now, though.
Change is always good, I've been thinking about changing it up for awhile now.
Anyway, I got no respect for a man if he don't eat the placenta raw.
You're right, it has not been Vader tinme for awhile, and it was indeed time for a change.
I want Tom Cruise to change back to "non-threatening prettyboy who doesn't want to eat Katie Holmes' placenta." Though I don't think I'll get my wish.
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Man, I'm sorry, but -- even speaking as a lady who finds masculine terror about Lady Reproductive Elements sort of disturbing and sort of hilarious, I just... ewww. No. Placenta is not for eating. One of the things we have gained by our current place in the food web is the ability to offset the massive energy investment of pregnancy and childbirth in ways that do not involve eating our own flesh, much in the same way that we don't eat stillbirths. Gaaah!!
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my question:
did someone ask if he was going to eat the placenta?
or do you think he just blurted it out like an overexcited schoolboy.
MY MOM SAID AFTER SCHOOL I GET A PLACENTA IF I'M A GOOD BOY!
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Man, I'm sorry, but -- even speaking as a lady who finds masculine terror about Lady Reproductive Elements sort of disturbing and sort of hilarious, I just... ewww. No. Placenta is not for eating. One of the things we have gained by our current place in the food web is the ability to offset the massive energy investment of pregnancy and childbirth in ways that do not involve eating our own flesh, much in the same way that we don't eat stillbirths. Gaaah!!
I was under the impression that placenta eating was more of a woman-thing. The first time I came into contact with the subject was from a link to a women's website with flowery pink boarders and pictures of pregnant women and women holding babies. So I guess that's why I hold that idea.
When I saw that, my jaw basically dropped so quickly that it hit me in the balls and hurt real bad.
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MY MOM SCIENTOLOGY SAID AFTER SCHOOL I GET A PLACENTA IF I'M A GOOD BOY!
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There's two. The Placenta Trifecta is in Playl (http://starbulletin.com/2006/04/17/news/story01.htm)
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There's two. The Placenta Trifecta is in Playl (http://starbulletin.com/2006/04/17/news/story01.htm)
Link broken.
Placenta is supposed to aid in post-pardum depression (though I doubt if proper studies have been done), so since poor Katie won't be hitting the Zoloft anytime soon, maybe this is the best we can hope for?
Though I'm still convinced that the girl's been wearing prothsetic bellies for the last year. Unless I see those stretch marks in person, I believe it's a sham. Like the moon landing.
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Placenta is supposed to aid in post-pardum depression (though I doubt if proper studies have been done), so since poor Katie won't be hitting the Zoloft anytime soon, maybe this is the best we can hope for?
it won't help the mom if dad eats it.
My favorite line.
~Paul
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Though I'm still convinced that the girl's been wearing prothsetic bellies for the last year. Unless I see those stretch marks in person, I believe it's a sham. Like the moon landing.
See the rumor I heard was that she was already pregnant when they met and that the timing doesn't work out and so on. Basically I think it's going to take old Tom nailing a woman on live TV in a white room with no men or gay porn around before anybody is going to buy this.
Also, I just noticed that the picture is a file photo. I don't even want to know why this picture was already around.
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Can·ni·bal·ism
n.
1. The act or practice of eating human flesh by mankind.
2. The usually ritualistic eating of human flesh by a human being.
Did anyone read the whole story? I got down to the bottom and started laughing. Maybe I'm naive but a silent birth comes off as a bit silly to me. No spoken words because that might traumatize the screaming newborn. The screaming newborn who just entered the world outside of a womb is going to be effected by some noise that it wouldn't and couldn't distinguish from a car horn. Can you imagine a woman screaming and maybe cursing because she is in pain and then Tom Cruise comes over all, "Whoa, no no honey you can't say that." "Oh yeah thanks Tom, what I meant was mmmmm mmmmmm!" Then Tom does some sort of wavy lame hand signal that means "I love you".
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Scientology is pretty much the most hilarious religion. It is essentially the religion of new-wave kooky celebrities who can't think of more ways to make some very clever people very rich by giving them money for nothing. Such is life.
Silent birth? I heard somewhere child birth has the same amount of pain as a man squeezing a golf ball through his dick. I'd love to see Tom Cruise do that.
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Placenta link in another paper (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/18/AR2006041800199.html)
Because the Hawaii Paper SUCKs ROCKS when it comes to keeping links alive for 24 hours.
Anyhow, it's an interesting sincere story about cultural practices around the placenta.
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there is no way that it is that much pain.
I know it because of this: a woman's urethra is the same as a man's. the urethra does not stretch. My mom, who has obviously given birth, passed out cold from the pain of passing a tiny kidney stone. this did not occur when giving birth to me, or my 2 siblings.
although I guess the body is built to deal with the pain of giving birth, but not the pain of pissing out a rock.
so, she had the baby. No mention on CNN on whether the placenta has been consumed.
*makes a fruity hand sign that means "I love you" at Suri*
ok, speaking of wierd birth rituals: I had a dream that one ofmy friends found out that she was adopted. She traced her birth parents to some third world country.
she returned, and said "yeah, they wanted me to do this female-circumcision thing. I figured... why not? I mean, guys are circumcised, right?"
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Scientology is pretty much the most hilarious religion. It is essentially the religion of new-wave kooky celebrities who can't think of more ways to make some very clever people very rich by giving them money for nothing. Such is life.
Silent birth? I heard somewhere child birth has the same amount of pain as a man squeezing a golf ball through his dick. I'd love to see Tom Cruise do that.
I think it's really more of a scam than a religion. They lure in celebrities with "ain't it hard being famous? We can help." I hear that they get their followers to disclose all their personal secrets for some reason, probably some kind of cleansing. So even if these celebrities realize what's going on, the fear of having their dirt revealed (and careers annihilated) probably keeps them from quitting. Also, butt orgies.
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There was speculation that the Michael Jackson - Lisa Marie Presley marriage was actually a plot by Scientology (Lisa Marie was/is a member) to get Michael, his deep impressionability, and his trailer-loads of money in the door.
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And even Michael wasn't crazy enough to buy into it. Amazing.
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the TA of my psych class over the summer did a foray into scientology.
she went to their headquarters to have a "test" done. She says that as someone whose entire life is based around making tests for people to take, and then grading those tests, their tests made no sense. They were essentially "scientific" looking graphs that meant nothing. The questionnaire was a badly photocopied fill-in-the-bubble type test. they graded it in 5 minutes. she says that it was not made in a way that it could have been graded by one of those machines.
she just bullshitted them, and they tried to tell her about herself.
"I've always thought I was kind of insecure"
"yes, it says you are very insecure, right here *points at squiggley line*"
Well that's funny, because that line is labeled "anger"
"yes, well, insecurity is based on anger"
then, she showed us the graph. it didn't even look respectable.
I laughed so hard. it is so fun to make fun of that religion.
plus, it was invented by a science fiction writer to make money off of people. early on, he took his followers out on his yacht. None of them knew how to navigate, and so they got lost.
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Whenever I hear this story I can't help but think of the last panel of this (http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/17) PA.
That said were I a rich-ass celebrity you bet I'd act like a total fruitcake. I mean, why the hell not? Tabloids are probably going to make shit up anyway, may as well have some fun with it.
'Hey honey you'll never guess what I told them today. I said you had to give birth in total silence in the middle of an african village and then I was going to eat the placenta! Isn't that brilliant? Anyway, Dr. Swanson called, he'll be by later to set you up with an epidural and I'll be at my club if you want to give me a buzz after your done ok?'