The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: side_show on April 19, 2006, 05:44:29 am

Title: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: side_show on April 19, 2006, 05:44:29 am: So after my health scare, a couple months ago, which was followed by the ruling out of the major scary diseases (no cancer, diabetes or a long list of other things) I went in to the doctors today, expecting a simple follow up to some blood work that has to be done on me every three months related to an autoimmune disease I've had for eleven years. I get the "abnormal test results" call all the time, and it usually results in slight, very minor adjustments to the tiny pills I take every day and the ongoing fluctuation of too much or not enough adrenalin. Instead I found out I have something unrelated that is also wrong with me. It seems I have not one but two autoimmune diseases, the thyroid problem I've had for so long, and something else yet to be determined related to inflammation (normal range for ESR platelets is 20 for women, I was elevated to 31 on the first test and 57 on the one last week) - my body is attacking itself in two different ways at the same time. Yay! This is not such a surprise since I have a list of joint-related problems that includes almost every extremity of my body, but I'm basically pissed off at the overall failures of my flesh.

So I spent the day getting blood drawn and having many X-rays taken. The blood tec went off on a tangent about his cousins visiting over Easter and drinking over $100 of alcohol. When I said I don't drink much he looked confused and asked "Well, if you don't drink what do you do for fun?" I just stared at him and watched the tubes fill with blood. Later, the confused X-ray technician asked "and why does your doctor want all these X-rays? You're too young to have all these things wrong with you!" So I lay in a room, on a table, in a stupid gown, embarrassed that I was wearing underwear with little strawberries all over them, and looking at a giant stuffed animal hedge hog thing above the counter, as the woman changed films over and over and repositioned me here, there and everywhere, then ducked behind her protective wall and gazed at me through her special window.

So my doctors gone on vacation, and I get to wait til May to find out exactly what's wrong with me, but with my family history, I'm betting on some form of early-on-set arthritis. Fuck you arthritis! Fuck you.
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: lprkn on April 19, 2006, 05:53:45 am: ...And I feel bad when I get a cold. Hopefully your CUNT underwear saved you from the X-rays.

Best wishes for a healthy side_show.
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: Mite on April 19, 2006, 11:07:05 am: Sorry, side_show! Do they still call you Smells here? Or was that somebody else? Anyway, good luck with the health stuff. My best friend in high school had Lupus, so I know how capricious these things can be. And x-rays in your underwear suck honky chonk balls.
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: pmcd9 on April 19, 2006, 12:34:34 pm: Quote from: Mite on April 19, 2006, 11:07:05 am
x-rays in your underwear suck honky chonk balls.

Wait, i'm getting an idea for a new Christian Porn plotline. A beautiful, but unsaved young lady comes in for test. The handsome Christian technician who administers the test... Witness... salvation... CUNT panties... bada bing...

It practically writes itself.

~Paul
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: CortJstr on April 19, 2006, 12:45:16 pm: Screw you, arthritis! Fuck You!
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: Hobo Frenzy on April 19, 2006, 03:40:15 pm: Fuck THIS (http://www.medicinenet.com/images/illustrations/arthritic_joints.jpg) Guy !
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: AlohaDawg on April 19, 2006, 06:36:08 pm: But Meconium is SWELL

Also, even tar off a marshmallow is easy if you use the appropriate solvent.
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: acoxcae on April 19, 2006, 08:03:31 pm: Quote from: AlohaDawg on April 19, 2006, 06:36:08 pm
Also, even tar off a marshmallow is easy if you use the appropriate solvent.

Now, mind you, I've never had a baby. But I'd still put a pretty high wager on the fact that soaking babies in acetone is a generally frowned-upon practice.

At least, I frown upon it.

That lemon-scented goo-gone might be kinda nice though.
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: theinevitable on April 19, 2006, 08:17:11 pm: smells. I do not know you very well. But that stone-cold sucks. I am sorry that this has happened to you.

also: great googly-moogly!

that is terrifying! meconium!
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: Hobot on April 20, 2006, 04:31:18 pm: Education (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium).

I'm sorry this has turned into a thread about baby poo, side_show. But--but at least you're going to Indonesia!
Title: Re: My body finds new and exciting ways to attack itself!
Post by: theinevitable on April 20, 2006, 09:28:35 pm: wow. I could not eat my dinner yesterday because I was thinking about that stuff.

goddamn wikipedia had a picture. why would they need that.