The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: elfbabe on May 23, 2006, 04:26:32 am
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http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05232006
I'm not quite sure what just happened. Ray got too happy, and thus too belligerent about getting more weight in his foil undies, and Beef had to take it all away as a lesson?
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This one was so funny I could hardly breathe.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's all about the eyebrows.
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Props to O for judicious use of the "out of context actions as observed by a confused third party" device. That's a pretty long name for a device. Whatever!
Panel 11 definitely looks like ray is trying to reason with Beef. Priceless.
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Aug-- I noticed the eyebrows that you used on Jeopardy. So it is fitting that you should say that. (just kidding, hombre!)
Man. I want to take away someone's dong-therapy water as a punishment.
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Aug-- I noticed the eyebrows that you used on Jeopardy. So it is fitting that you should say that. (just kidding, hombre!)
There is no need to apologize for noticing eyebrows.
Thank you for noticing the ones I used on Jeopardy. Oddly enough, they're the same ones I use in everyday life. As a matter of fact, I've had them all my life.
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the reason I apologized is that you got a lot of ribbing for those eyebrow motions at the time, based on the thread. I was just referring to that. So I apologized to indicate that it wasn't some kind of Thing, where I Hate Your Eyebrows, Hate Them To Hell.
I recently realized, upon watching a video of myself, that a lot of the facial expressions I use don't look how I thought they did-- in fact, they look rediculous. this was quite a blow.
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I'm proud of 'em. People who make fun of my eyebrows, well, they're just envious aren't they?
You just use whatever facial expressions you want, TI, and the Good Lord will provide.
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Would Roast Beef really use the word "sciencize it?" It seems... not him.
*takes onstad's cup, pours it out, scowls at him*
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Would Roast Beef really use the word "sciencize it?" It seems... not him.
*takes onstad's cup, pours it out, scowls at him*
Beef seems to be the type of dude who frequently pauses while speaking to think of the optimal word to use, so I'm thinking he's still in masculine-yeah-I-got-my-old-big-dong-back mode. Instead of pondering on a more scientific thing to relate, he just lets loose with a "Sciencize it cool" because he's fueled by pure testosterone and can't be bothered to make a more Beef-like word choice.
Or maybe I just need to go to bed. Ray's pout is still awesomely expressive, though.
Also:
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/9742/achedong3ji.gif) (http://imageshack.us)
edit: OH MAN I just noticed Ray's furious point in panel 10.
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Panel 9: The "Give Me Some More" hand gesture.
Yes, Ray's pout, combined with the ridiculous foil undies that make him appear to have a weird-looking erection, is splendid. Is there anything sadder than a Sad Boner? No. No there is not.
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My first impression was that T wasn't getting the full scene -- just the top half. And each frame seemed to modulate between beef's head being up and down, with ray making various strange gestures. In short, I was thinking from his perspective, it was beef getting a little too acquainted with ray's less metallic protrusions. Maybe I just have my mind too far in the gutter? I realize now that my initial idea is completely crazy, unless Ray is known to have had a three-footer, as beef is pretty far away from him.
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We need to write the Bible in which, for serving Him so piously, God rewarded men with progressively larger and larger dongs, until the dongs got so huge that the men just became belligerent and formed warring patriarchal societies. Having realized his mistake, God let it rain for 40 days and 40 nights, after which men's dongs hell of shrank from being in cold water for so long. I think this could be one of Rudyard Kipling's "Just So" stories. If not, an absurdist Intelligent Design faction could expound the hypothesis at a conferenceto to piss off Darwinists.
God damn I hope I used the past perfect correctly.
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Really this is just a note to say I love when Roast Beef gets all kinds of sassy with Ray. You just know he's been pushed TOO FAR.
Poor T, you think he'd be used to this sort of thing by now.
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God damn I hope I used the past perfect correctly.
It appears that you did even if the first sentence could use a semi-colon. Really though, I wouldn't be concerned with proper participle placement when using achewoodese slang such as "hell of shrank". You either play English Teacher or get in the game, unless your name is James Joyce. If your name is James Joyce the rules are different.
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Yeah, I was told by someone that the expression that I use to pretend that I'm listening intently to someone looks like I am listening to their ideas with utter disdain.
So, basically, I am unable to hide my disdain. (shocker)
BUT: This may come as a surprise to many here - I also smile and laugh a lot and basically enjoy things.
Oh yeah, this strip was okay. I like the ones where the funny is in the gleaning, not expressly delivered through words.
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Yeah, I was told by someone that the expression that I use to pretend that I'm listening intently to someone looks like I am listening to their ideas with utter disdain.
So, basically, I am unable to hide my disdain. (shocker)
BUT: This may come as a surprise to many here - I also smile and laugh a lot and basically enjoy things.
Oh yeah, this strip was okay. I like the ones where the funny is in the gleaning, not expressly delivered through words.
I imagine your facial expression of listening being akin to the face made when one smells meats that have gone bad, but from a distance.
It is not at all surprising that you enjoy life, but I can't help but assume that you enjoy life at other people's expense. You know, you're all smiling and laughing a lot, but it is because there is a kid outside your window who's foot is caught in one of the bear traps you strategically placed on your lawn around your "Please do not walk on the grass" sign. All rubbing your hands. All going "Mwaha ha ha ha!" And basically, I would be there with you too, but I would be giggling, not laughing. And there is a difference. There is a difference.
I am in total agreement. It is all about the eyebrows. (*Fun side note: in grade 8 I made a comedy zine - Mel's Mag - that mocked everyone in our class, except for a friend of mine - but only because I hadn't gotten around to it yet. This friend of mine then went out of the way to thank me for not mocking her in the magazine. The next issue, I made only one mention of her, congradulating her on her eye brow surgery. To this day some people still think she had some sort of eyebrow surgery.)
I like imagine what Ray was exclaiming when he went too far. It would be so rude.
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So... who's going to test this out for us? I think this needs to be properly sciencized. Does it work? If so, is there an optimum amount of weight or does it peak at a certain heaviness? Can seperation from the vestigial dong cause depression and/or withdrawal symptoms? DOES IT WORK FOR LADIES etc.
Man, those expressions!
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See, and I'm sure when I write this, that misterqueue knows that it does exist and has a link to it, but basically, what women need are cell phones that are dongs, naturally with a vibrate feature. And we could learn kegel exercises to dial and such. Indeed that would make all the women cellphone users of the world more chipper. Also, I'd like a nice musical ring tone. What song would my pu$$y sing if it were a ring tone? This is a wonderful idea.
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See, and I'm sure when I write this, that misterqueue knows that it does exist and has a link to it, but basically, what women need are cell phones that are dongs, naturally with a vibrate feature. And we could learn kegel exercises to dial and such. Indeed that would make all the women cellphone users of the world more chipper. Also, I'd like a nice musical ring tone. What song would my pu$$y sing if it were a ring tone? This is a wonderful idea.
Hrm.. there's software (http://www.vibelet.com/) you can install on your phone to do this.
Also, worth mentioning (http://www.play-asia.com/paOS-13-71-m-49-en-70-2pn.html). For the girl who's boyfriend plays TOO MANY GAMES!
Personally you can pick any song you want, but I suggest not picking "Ring of Fire" or "Stayin' Alive". That would be a terrible application of oneself.
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This was, in my opinion, the most laugh out loud funny strip in a very long time. (I love the others, too, but this one made me do a spit-take)
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From the playstation game accesory site:
A very good choice to mum's birthday. Now she loves video games and plays it all of time.
I do not want to meet the boy who plays video games all day and buys this for his mom. I am disturbed.
Oh, wait, I used to work at a comicbook store so I have met, like a dozen of them. Ugh.
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I do not want to meet the boy who plays video games all day and buys this for his mom. I am disturbed.
Oh, wait, I used to work at a comicbook store so I have met, like a dozen of them. Ugh.
Heh.. I don't even know what you'd write on that card.
"Happy Birthday Mom! Have fun having sex (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005), kind of!"
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It appears that you did even if the first sentence could use a semi-colon.
Actually, no. None of the segments of the sentence are independent clauses, so they should not be linked by a semicolon.
Heh.. I don't even know what you'd write on that card.
"Happy Birthday Mom! Have fun having sex (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005), kind of!"
Eww, I do not approve of this use of my Birthday strip! Disturbing.
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Yeah, so back on topic who's gonna be the first to build one of these things?
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Actually, no. None of the segments of the sentence are independent clauses, so they should not be linked by a semicolon.
Eww, I do not approve of this use of my Birthday strip! Disturbing.
Actually my semi-colon suggestion was merely aesthetic. There are three reasons for this:
1. Most people find long sentences hard to follow. Chopping up one of those words into a fragment and utilizing the sweet, sweet semi-colon as wordpaste would remediate this possible issue.
2. I love the semi-colon. I love it late at night when it touches me just how I like to be touched.
3. I knew that not providing these explanations would drive you into a fit of English based pedantry, which appears to have worked. This also provides me with absolutely no guilt re: the use of your Birthday strip in retrospect.
I love when things wrap up nicely like that.
In conclusion, Mattgiraffe: It's not going to be me. I mean ick; really now.
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Dudes bangin' a semi-colon, but he's too classy to wear tin foil drawers.
~Paul
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Dudes bangin' a semi-colon, but he's too classy to wear tin foil drawers.
~Paul
You gotta draw a line somewhere man...
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I will find out Hobot's address
and the name of her mother
and I will send her one of those
and say "Julia said you would like this"
and she will cry
and I will chuckle
and then feel bad and send her an "I'm sorry I got your mom a sex toy" card.
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Heh.. I don't even know what you'd write on that card.
"Happy Birthday Mom! Have fun having sex (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005), kind of!"
I love that strip. #73!
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Actually my semi-colon suggestion was merely aesthetic. There are three reasons for this:
1. Most people find long sentences hard to follow. Chopping up one of those words into a fragment and utilizing the sweet, sweet semi-colon as wordpaste would remediate this possible issue.
2. I love the semi-colon. I love it late at night when it touches me just how I like to be touched.
3. I knew that not providing these explanations would drive you into a fit of English based pedantry, which appears to have worked. This also provides me with absolutely no guilt re: the use of your Birthday strip in retrospect.
I love when things wrap up nicely like that.
In conclusion, Mattgiraffe: It's not going to be me. I mean ick; really now.
I have been played for a fool; I have fallen into your trap.
Note proper semicolon use, above.
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I will find out Hobot's address
and the name of her mother
and I will send her one of those
and say "Julia said you would like this"
and she will cry
and I will chuckle
and then feel bad and send her an "I'm sorry I got your mom a sex toy" card.
Are those located next to the "I'm sorry I slapped you" cards?
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I have been played for a fool; I have fallen into your trap.
Note proper semicolon use, above.
Hey; Look; I; am; clearly; riling; you; up; because; it; amuses; me;
Was there even a participle in there? WHO KNOWS!
Folks let's get back on topic here. Weenis cancer, it's a helluva thing.
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This thread is reminding me of p o u l t r y ; (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08182005). This is all.
Also, what, no snide remarks about Ray's JAZZ HANDS! in panel 8?
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Also, what, no snide remarks about Ray's JAZZ HANDS! in panel 8?
Jazz Hands, or Rollercoaster Arms?
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His hands are shaking from the wonderful hormones in his brain. If Beef really wants to sciencize it cool, they need to bottle and sell the hormones. Much more marketable than copper stitched aluminum foil undies - Ray should know this.
Q said it, but poor Teodor.
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dude, there is a restaurant right by my house called
"table"
including the lowercase t. it is pretty rediculous.
hobot-- yeah; right about there.
wait; are you saying that you're going to slap me?
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It's diculous... again?
Also, someone for whom I priorly had respect used the word "irregardless" in one of her writings that I recently read. Is it wrong to have lost all some respect for her?
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hobot-- yeah; right about there.
wait; are you saying that you're going to slap me?
I was implying that you would be the one to slap me. I figured you could buy both cards at once and save some time.
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It's diculous... again?
Also, someone for whom I priorly had respect used the word "irregardless" in one of her writings that I recently read. Is it wrong to have lost all some respect for her?
Good god not at all.
I believe I've talked about this though. (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,2502.msg54409.html#msg54409)
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It's diculous... again?
Also, someone for whom I priorly had respect used the word "irregardless" in one of her writings that I recently read. Is it wrong to have lost all some respect for her?
Does irregardless mean regardful? If so, its usage warrants ridicule.
Oh wait. Is even a word?
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It's diculous... again?
Red Diculous sounds like the name of a vauldeville comedian.
~Paul
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yeah, so, sorry. I forgot about that time that I slapped you.
*all those times. you know.
I am sad that I missed your joke.
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// dude, there is a restaurant right by my house called
"table" including the lowercase t. it is pretty rediculous. //
I think it's a cool idea, but only if they pronounce it "tay-bull", like normal people do. If they insist on pronouncing it "tah-bluh", then they should be taken to the town square and hung from their necks until they are dead.
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// dude, there is a restaurant right by my house called
"table" including the lowercase t. it is pretty rediculous. //
I think it's a cool idea, but only if they pronounce it "tay-bull", like normal people do. If they insist on pronouncing it "tah-bluh", then they should be taken to the town square and hung from their necks until they are dead.
Actually if you do it right they're dead pretty much the instant they drop (From neck breakage). If they are not then you used too thin a rope which chokes them to death in an (Even more) inhumane manner. Maybe this is your intent though, so carry on.
</Disturbed Pedant Mode>
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Let's not forget about drawing and quartering! They get those too.
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when i saw it, I thought "ta-bluh"
and I wasn't really sure why.
also: yeah pretty sure the neck breaks
at least, if you do it right it does.
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I heard you had to tip the hangman in advance if you wanted your neck broken.
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Actually if you do it right they're dead pretty much the instant they drop (From neck breakage). If they are not then you used too thin a rope which chokes them to death in an (Even more) inhumane manner. Maybe this is your intent though, so carry on.
</Disturbed Pedant Mode>
"Hanged by the neck until dead" appears to be a common expression (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanging). And further down (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanging#Britain), the calculation to ensure that the victim is not asphyxiated is explained.
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when i saw it, I thought "ta-bluh"
and I wasn't really sure why.
also: yeah pretty sure the neck breaks
at least, if you do it right it does.
And if you hang a big fat guy or a regular sized guy and have them drop too far, the head comes clean off. Messy.
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people used to bribe local children to come hang on their legs to make sure that they were dead.
otherwise, when the hangman would give the body to the local "doctor" to dissect, the poor fellow would sometimes wake up under the knife.
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"We sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedtio Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez, to hang by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on his soul. Proceed!"
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people used to bribe local children to come hang on their legs to make sure that they were dead.
otherwise, when the hangman would give the body to the local "doctor" to dissect, the poor fellow would sometimes wake up under the knife.
Dammit, now I want to read the Baroque Cycle again. But who has that kind of time?
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And if you hang a big fat guy or a regular sized guy and have them drop too far, the head comes clean off. Messy.
Death by inertia is only acceptable punishment for those who break the laws of physics.
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Death by inertia is only acceptable punishment for those who break the laws of physics.
This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster.
(That's thermodynamics, but close enough)
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This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster.
(That's thermodynamics, but close enough)
"In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"
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Death by inertia is only acceptable punishment for those who break the laws of physics.
If I was more physics-minded, this would easily be my sig. Well-said, sir. Well-said.
This entire thread-turn is reminding me of a conversation I had during high school with a friend of mine who was going through one of her many Explosively Crazy Phases and decided that she needed to start designing alternate methods of execution. Her big idea was some sort of complicated "flying guillotine" spring-loaded chakram-neckpiece/bungee-cord apparatus, at which point we had a long conversation about cruel and unusual punishment that resulted in a certain degree of mutual disgust. What really broke that friendship up was her eventual decision that she was the soul-daughter of the goddess Kali and a guardian dragon on the astral plane, but damn if that flying guillotine didn't help.
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dude, there is a restaurant right by my house called
"table"
including the lowercase t. it is pretty rediculous.
What are the tables like?
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Her big idea was some sort of complicated "flying guillotine" spring-loaded chakram-neckpiece/bungee-cord apparatus, at which point we had a long conversation about cruel and unusual punishment that resulted in a certain degree of mutual disgust.
Shouldn't the phrase really be cruel and/or unusual punishment? That flying guillotine is pretty unusual but I'm not sure it's crueler than a regular-type guillotine, and I'm really not too keen on the thought of cruel and boring punishment either (e.g. executing a guy by hitting him with a regular old stick until he has been battered to death.)
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What are the tables like?
That's the best part! There aren't any! It's culinary hipster irony!
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no, I asked my mom, and apparently it has to do with... some good reason. i forget. something about a special table?
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Are you sure the restaurant isn't owned by a guy named "Table". So it's like Table's Place?
Hey, it could happen.
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table featuring the dishes of Chef Julio Mesa
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no, I asked my mom, and apparently it has to do with... some good reason. i forget. something about a special table?
I used to live near a place called Chef's Table. That had a special table in the kitchen where you get waited on by the chef, he explains all the stuff to you and picks the wine. It cost a ton and we never did it before we moved.
I prefer the ironic explanation though.