The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: side_show on July 16, 2006, 12:46:12 am
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If you're like me and my SO, when you get take out food or drive through, you get a lot of packets of ketchup, vinegar, soy sauce and the odd plum sauce, hot sauce, or what have you, that don't get used up. Normally, we save these packets in our fridge, and contine to stock pile until there are too many, then I cull the collection and we start again. So it came to the point where the place in the fridge door where we deposit these packets was over flowing, and little packets were falling out if the door was swung too aggressively. I am bored today because my SO is getting drunk at a wedding, and I am awaiting his call to go get him to take him home, basically turning me into a prisoner in my own home. I was going to throw them all out as usual, but then I looked at them, and realized that what I had was the basic components of a low-brow Barbecue Sauce: dozens of packets of ketchup, some vinegar, a couple soy sauce and plum sauces and a sample packet of chipotle Tabasco sauce. And philosophically, I began to wonder, can I make a tasty sauce out of things I would otherwise throw away?
Here is what I came up with:
After squeezing out all the packets I had:
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup of vinegar
2 Tblsps of soy sauce
A dash of chipotle Tabasco (i.e.: one mini packet that came in the mail as a sample)
Two plumb sauce packets
(this eliminated every packet in my fridge. I also added:)
2 teaspoons of habanaro hot sauce
3 Tblsps of brown sugar
2 crushed cloves of garlic
2 Tblsps of minced onion
2 Tblsps of Original Oregon Chai Spice Latte mix
I brought the whole thing to a boil and simmered for 10 minutes, and to my wonderment, what would have been garbage was turned into a tasty mongrel of a spicy BBQ sauce, which I bottled in a pretty glass salad dressing bottle I had just sterilized for a purpose unknown days before, and is now in my fridge. It is recycled sauce born of boredom.
Sooo, with all the talk of ridiculous hot sauces, what I want now is help in naming my BBQ sauce. It has such a rich pedigree, it basically requires a name, and I need your help. Suggest away!
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Munge Sauce.
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that is a great idea. I would call it "Wedding Day Blues Red Hot Sauce"
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Single Serving Friend BBQ Sauce.
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"Invasion Of Privacy" Packet-Sniffer Sauce.
..or not.
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I don't have a name, but that is so clever of you.
I want to come up with a cool recipe to cook for when my family comes home. Because the reason I didn't go with them when they left town is "work"... and now I realize that I do not have work for about a week. Maybe I can make something cool like this?
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Name: Rectum Wrecker.
Also, Another use for ketchup packets (http://www.paulmcrae.com/FEATURES/PARADE_2005/IMAGES/PARADE/1024/DSCN5151-E-1024.jpg).
~Paul
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You can also make your own prison hooch. (http://www.blacktable.com/gillin030901.htm)
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Ewww! I like my sauce better.
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You can also make your own prison hooch. (http://www.blacktable.com/gillin030901.htm)
Jesus, you can tell what the fuss is about without tasting the stuff. Clearly they'd rather not, but even I'd rather be drunk in prison!
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Fancy Sauce. You know, because it's always Fancy Ketchup when it comes from a packet?
Anyway, I highly encourage ideas for what to do with this stuff. My mother has this tupperware container full of these little uckers, and it's starting to bother me.
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I'm not sure what to call it, but if it were in Earthbound I am sure that it would increase the healing power of any food item you paired it with.
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Huh - I used it in cooking today and it's super spicy when strait up out of the bottle, but when I used it on a chicken breast I cooked today, the spiciness was barely detectable. It was still tasty though.
How about Mel's Fancy Munge Sauce?
As a side note, I was apparently expected at the wedding even though the invitation did not include me or the traditional "and guest" line. Since I've helped to plan a few weddings and have read all the wedding etiquette books, I assumed since I was never mentioned in any way related to both spoken and written invitations,that I wasn't invited. Turns out I missed and open bar, prime rib, Yorkshire pudding and wedding cake. Probably for the best since I'm watching what I eat and I didn't know anyone there and would have therefore just spent the entire day getting plastered and/or eating.
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Are you gonna post a picture of your breast?
~Paul
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Are you gonna post a picture of your breast?
~Paul
Creepy!
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Fancy Sauce. You know, because it's always Fancy Ketchup when it comes from a packet?
Why is this? I just went and checked the Heinz ketchup we have in a bottle, and indeed, it is not 'fancy'. I feel ripped off now.
Yes, it has come to this. I spend my weekend looking through the fridge because of what people say on a messageboard. And use the small font.
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Are you gonna post a picture of your breast?
~Paul
No, but here's a lot of normal non-implanted women who did. (http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php) It's almost shocking to see normal breasts now. My friend and I were recently talking about how all we ever see is implant boobs now (not just in porno, but everywhere!). There's a pretty fascinating variety of "normal" boobs. Hollywood boobs all look like they came out of the same jello mould.
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I'm imagining breasts that are shaped like those jello-molds that are like tiny castles. I am laughing pretty hard at this.
in this museum in Venice (the palace of the Doge, actually), my friends and I saw a painting of, I swear, Breasts on a Plate. Nobody in our group could explain the things on the plate as anything but Human Breasts. We came up with a variety of stories for why the Boobs on a Plate picture existed.
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No, but here's a lot of normal non-implanted women who did. (http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php)
But there is no sauce on them!
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Hello, I was talking about the chicken, where are your minds at? Linnea, why you keep callin' me creepy?
~Paul
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I'm imagining breasts that are shaped like those jello-molds that are like tiny castles. I am laughing pretty hard at this.
in this museum in Venice (the palace of the Doge, actually), my friends and I saw a painting of, I swear, Breasts on a Plate. Nobody in our group could explain the things on the plate as anything but Human Breasts. We came up with a variety of stories for why the Boobs on a Plate picture existed.
A couple years at work we had Jell-O boobs with marshmallow nipples on a plate. I don't think anybody ate any though.
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Well, Paul, you come off as a bit creepy.
I mean, let's not quibble over terminology.
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breasts on a plate usually refer to saint agatha of sicily. some roman prefect took a liking to dear old agatha, and didn't take rejection very nicely-- he ordered her breasts cut off (among other nasty things). so in a lot of christian art st. aggie is depicted as carrying breasts on a platter. yes, "breasts on a platter" is, i believe, the correct term.
another interesting fact: the shape of her amputated breasts gave rise to her attribute as patron saint of bell-makers. who knew?
because achewood is all about education.
incidentally, this is my first post! hi guys.
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Hullo APat. Damn this thread has taken a turn for the weird.
~Paul
I'm not creepy!!!
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oh my god, that is amazing. I am so proud that it was, in fact, boobs on a plate.
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breasts on a plate usually refer to saint agatha of sicily. some roman prefect took a liking to dear old agatha, and didn't take rejection very nicely-- he ordered her breasts cut off (among other nasty things). so in a lot of christian art st. aggie is depicted as carrying breasts on a platter. yes, "breasts on a platter" is, i believe, the correct term.
another interesting fact: the shape of her amputated breasts gave rise to her attribute as patron saint of bell-makers. who knew?
because achewood is all about education.
incidentally, this is my first post! hi guys.
APat - Wow...your first post is about amputated breasts on a platter. We all wait with baited breath to see what will possiblly come next. I look forward to you bringing use more creepy and fascinating facts.
Also, Paul... see, we've all seen so many cliched films where the villain twists his mustache between two fingers while scheming. And we see your mustache is styled in such a way as to require some twisting. Hence we know you scheme - even if we haven't seen it yet - and that's what makes you creepy.
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APat - Wow...your first post is about amputated breasts on a platter. We all wait with baited breath to see what will possiblly come next. I look forward to you bringing use more creepy and fascinating facts.
Also, Paul... see, we've all seen so many cliched films where the villain twists his mustache between two fingers while scheming. And we see your mustache is styled in such a way as to require some twisting. Hence we know you scheme - even if we haven't seen it yet - and that's what makes you creepy.
This sign (http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?entry=22597&display=photoshop) is legally required to be posted in front of Paul's house.
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side_show, there's simply no way i can beat Breasts-on-a-Platter (TM). I am a one-hit wonder.
I predict a few more mediocrely-funny posts, then a downward spiral into heroin addiction accompanied by increasingly-incoherent posts, and finally a flamingly-spectacular exit from TOUAMB.
in 2010 jough and ADawg will run another thread titled "where are these assholes now?" where i will feature in passing.
delicious-munge-sauce --> breasts-on-a-platter --> soul-crushingly-emo-self-flagellation. viva la threadjack.