The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: linnea on August 07, 2006, 11:47:39 pm
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As a firefighter, I have traditionally been very opposed to the idea of candles. To me, they just seemed kind of useless and too hazardous. I mean, I live in a country of people who spend all year nuking Lean Cuisines in the microwave, and then get this harebrained idea to deep fry a turkey in 2 gallons of boiling peanut oil and then burn their fool houses down. For some reason I equate candle burning with fool-headedness. I don't know how a Partylite Mulberry candle got equated with a deep-fried Turducken accident in my mind. I guess that my head is just a weird place to be.
Also, when Lennybruce was a kitten, my mom was burning a candle and he was checking it out and burned off his sad little eyebrows. :( I had no idea what was going on until I smelled this awful, burining-hair scent and then found little Len-Len hiding beneath the sofa with no goddamn eyebrows! So I figured that candles and my house would forever be incompatible.
Then one of the small businesses here got some delicious candles from a company called Pacifica (http://www.pacificacandles.com/index.asp). I love fresh limes and papaya, and this scent (http://www.pacificacandles.com/bali-lime.asp) is just intoxicating. I am forever ruined, because they smell so goddamn awesome. They also cost a lot. I bought all the Bali Lime/Papaya candles she had, and I'm hoping that she'll order some more.
I wanted to order some from their website, but they charge a retardedly high amount to ship to Alaska (it was $18 for one large candle, and then $18 to ship! Retarded!). Anyway, a lady that I work with had a Partylite catalogue (http://www.partylite.com/) going around, so I ordered a mojito scented candle and pomegranite/pineapple candle. God, why did I think that they would smell good? Yuck. They are totally cloying and sweet and artificial smelling.
Anyway... any of you in the same candle-boat? I am still all paranoid and only burn them on my stovetop, and only while I am in my kitchen/living room area. Some of my friends have them all over their houses, but I seem to have stringent rules for safety at my hizzouse. Better safe than sorry, I guess.
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I'm going to vote for "good," but like most good things -- alcohol, fried food, and superpowers, for example -- they must be used responsibly. (And generally not in your dorm room.)
I am baffled by the existence of a candle that smells like a mojito, though.
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I voted bad because I've yet to encounter a smelly candle that didn't smell bad. And the only other reason to use them is a power outtage which is obviously bad.
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I do not believe in setting things on fire inside of my house.
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Basically their mojito smells like a midwestern grey-haired matron's (who collects Precious Moments figurines and makes her children sign the purity pledge for marriage) idea of what a mojito might smell like.
And CJ, I fuck*ng hate most candles. For example, now my house smells like a fuck*ng White Barn Candle Co. because I burned one of my evil Partylite candles. I swear to god, I'm going to throw them away. I hate being in a mall and walking past Illuminations (http://www.illuminations.com/jump.jsp?itemID=0&itemType=HOME_PAGE) or the Yankee Candle Shoppe (http://www.yankeecandle.com/cgi-bin/ycbvp/retail.jsp) because it's like an instant migrane. the Pacifica candles are lightly scented, they have an amazingly well-balanced fragrance, and they just smell amazing.
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Following good things about candles (barring things like 'give off light'):
-Look pretty good
-Can be good for your ears (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_candle) (that article ain't too nice about them but they are way fun to use)
-Work in any place you can make a fire
-Sometimes can smell nice
-Can be sensual and relaxing (read: sexy)
Bad things:
-Might set things on fire
So, I voted good, despite the bad reason outweighing almost everything put together in the good list. Eh, I just like them.
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My mother has a house filled with 2 things: Plants and Candles. She talks to both (seriously).
So basically I have inherited her fetish for Candles since most plants I tend to kill.
So despite what this is going to say about me, um, Yankee Candle's Autumn Lodge was basically one of the best scents in the world, but they've discontinued it.
I once got this no-name brand melon candle that smelled basically like treasure as well. Other than that I'm not a candle snob. I just like fire? Or something.
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I voted bad because I've yet to encounter a smelly candle that didn't smell bad. And the only other reason to use them is a power outtage which is obviously bad.
Yeah, but what's better in a power outage: having a candle, or being in the dark because you don't have a candle?
Of course, there's always option C, wicked awesome kerosene lamps, but they strike me as functionally similar to candles in this regard.
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I'm a big fan of fire, when it stays where it is supposed to.
Scented candles: not so much, since most fragrances cause allergic reactions for me. However, there are a few that don't cause sinus distress, and those seem to be a far better way to change the ambiance in a room than anything made by Glade. I have two large candles from Restoration Hardware because their cost was the same as the alarm clock I didn't want; they burned rather quicker than I expected, but still look nice on the side table and will be nice to have if the power goes out.
Patton Oswalt once said: "I bought a candle labled as 'clean cotton.' I burn it in hotel rooms, which normally smell of 'lonesome trucker.' "
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HAY GUYS I'M RETARDED. I totally thought this said "candies" when I voted in the affirmative. "Oh hell yes I like candy!"
I have no opinion whatever about candles. Carry on.
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I like candles in principle but cannot leave them burning. My main lady loves candles and will happily go to sleep with them lit, I do not understand how she can live in this manner.
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-Can be sensual and relaxing (read: sexy)
See, I have never understood how you are supposed to relax and feel sensual when you have to pay attention to whether the house is going to catch on fire. The connection between candles and sexiness completely bewilders me.
And as for power failures, I highly recommend flashlights.
Now candies on the other hand, that is a different story.
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I like candles in principle but cannot leave them burning. My main lady loves candles and will happily go to sleep with them lit, I do not understand how she can live in this manner.
Eeek, she might not live that way for very long. Seriously, people die that way.
I also meant to mention that for a few years, I lived one town south of where the Yankee Candle factory is. However this had no effect on my lifelong opinion of candles. I did once take some visiting relatives there - their factory shop is a big tourist attraction - and bought a sale candle in a nice Asian sounding flavor with ginger and something in it. I think it has been around the house for ten or fifteen years now without ever being lit.
Also: Jack O'Lanterns. Only application where candles MUST be used. But these are outdoors, of course.
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Now candies on the other hand, that is a different story.
SEE, EVERYONE LIKES CANDIES.
I also meant to mention that for a few years, I lived one town south of where the Yankee Candle factory is. However this had no effect on my lifelong opinion of candles. I did once take some visiting relatives there - their factory shop is a big tourist attraction - and bought a sale candle in a nice Asian sounding flavor with ginger and something in it. I think it has been around the house for ten or fifteen years now without ever being lit.
FUN FACT: That town is where my paternal ancestors first settled (some time in the very early seventeenth century) in the ol' US of A. Plus, I will be staying at the super-swanky Red Roof Inn just down the road from that factory in a few weeks, when I move back into the dorms at Smith.
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Somewhere, someone in my family got a candle warmer for the smells combined with safety. It kind of melts the thing and reconsolidates it, but man, what in the world. I had a friend whose house burned down due to careless candles (not the sort in the glass cases). The firefighters said that it was pretty common. I like the stovetop idea.
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I'm all the way onboard for candles.
We have a candle room that is only lit by candles when you're in it. It's all the way optimal!
(There's also a fire extinguisher in the room in case all that awesome gets out of hand.)
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I think having a fire extinguisher in the room would make me complacent, like a candle fell over and the curtains or something caught fire and I'd think 'Wow that looks so cool, I'll just watch it for a while, after all I've got the fire extinguisher.'
I would still be thinking this as the burning roof collapsed on my smile of wonderment.
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Take a big shiny metal bowl, like you would mix cookie batter in. Put maybe half an inch of water in the bottom. Stand up a candle in it and light it. The light will be reflected up at the ceiling (which if you have a low white ceiling is pretty desirable) and will also shift in nice ways every time there is a faint breeze. You can fall asleep with this candle rig going because if there is an earthquake and the candle falls over, it will fall into half an inch of water and go out, or at worst it will land on the side of the bowl and scorch it and you'll have to clean the bowl before you make cookies again. If you don't want upwards-pointing light, use the same rig but with a glass bowl instead. The point is that the bowl is tall and wide enough that the candle cannot possibly fall out of it.
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Ben-san has given us Candela Populi!
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Ben, that is straight-up genius, right there. Ray would hire you in a second.
Everyday Candle Solutions For The Man On The Go
(Can't believe I missed out the 'On the go' bit first time round. That bit is essential.)
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Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen someone with candles lit in their car while they were driving.
WE MUST GET A MOVE ON THIS MOBILE CANDLE MARKET
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It is so much classier to hotbox a car with a candle in a jar than sandalwood incense.
EDIT: Why has it taken me so long to get to 360 posts?
EDIT2: I live right next to a park, and I only have one window that opens despite my $1,100 rent check paid every month for a shitty one bedroom. There are a bunch of 8 year olds playing soccer and they have positioned a boombox playing Eminem or some bullshit almost directly beneath my window. I wish I had a flamethrower, but then I would go to jail.
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dude, it is not Eminem. He's a thing old people complained about when I was 10.
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dude, it is not Eminem. He's a thing old people complained about when I was 12.
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Dude, it is not Eminem. He's a thing I complained about when I was 22.
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The children are doing it again. They are playing loud music in the park. I am on call and cannot unwind with a beer. I have to go teach a knitting class now. Someday my ears will be avenged when I can live in a totally quiet place with no interruptions.
Oh yes, dessert. I still can't find daifuku on this island. The only places I've found on the intarwub are still the ones that charge $40 for shipping to rural Alaska. I am carrying around a wrapper in my purse in the hopes of presenting it to a grocer and them ordering what I want. We will see if this actually happens.
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why don't you ask a friend in Hawaii to find some for you?
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AD: :) Feel like shipping some up here? I can paypal you some money.
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Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen someone with candles lit in their car while they were driving.
I wish I had a picture of the artcar from a few years ago that had a candelabra on it. It was covered with candles.
Candles are nice, but mostly smell pretty obnoxious. Can you even get unscented candles?
~Paul
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candle pros:
give off nice light
good for power outages
make everyone look sexy
candle cons:
start fires
smell like a potpourri factory fart
strange women collect them like they collect porcelain figurines and small rat-like dogs
dumb gift shop factor
waste of perfectly good wax that could be used to make tasty wax chewing gum lips
gets wax on carpet, upholstery, clothes, pets
verdict:
the only good candles are roman candles.
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Can you even get unscented candles?
I mostly use what I think of as Shabbas candles, because they're the kind Jews light on Friday night: white unscented wax candles that are round with flat bottoms, about the size of a Magic Marker or a little smaller. These are to me the most basic kind of candle. You can buy big ol' boxes full of them.
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I haven't burned candles much in a long time, but I do still have a bunch around, as well as some nice candleholders. Can't say I have a problem finding scentless candles, variously, be they ye olde stubby self standing type, or the normal, thin kind.
Oh, and the pro of them making everyone look sexy, clearly outweighs every con going. At least if you're going ot sizzle and burn, you can do so while looking really good.