The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: wombat on November 30, 2006, 05:21:44 am
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Street thinkers call it Tight Math. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=11302006)
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Some astute social commentary from the boys, couched in the language of that new hip hop craze, delightful.
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I barely understand this strip, but I approve of it anyway.
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hm.
when I am up at hours approaching "late" (sure, it is not late yet... but it's going to be) I become fixated on whatever work I'm doing. Which theoretically is good, except, I can't focus to save my life.
So what happens is, I end up reading something like this and somehow making a connection to troops landing at Normandy. Fuck you, psychology paper which is somehow turning into a history paper. the focus of communal memory on the landing at Omaha beach is not the kind of thing I expected to be writing a psych paper about. What I want to be writing a psych paper about: what is it about fake bling that makes sluts want to pop one out? The way I imagine it working is that the bling works as a "free pass" between the lady's legs, until she find she is pregnant-- then, the "jig is up" and she gets pissed. Until you give her some more fake jewelry. Which means that, basically, fake jewelry's effect on the slut is greater than real jewelry's effect on the classy lady.
or to bring it all back home, the slut's cooch is like a small bunker surrounded by concertina wire, and then you blast that shit off with a bangalore torpedo (ie, the fake-bling.)
not that I know what -any- of those goddamn terms mean. I really dig how the author of this book explains really inane things (how many men are in a division, how a Higgins Boat's ramp works) but not things that are actually worth explaining (what is concertina wire? not the same as barbed wire? what is a bangalore torpedo? who gives a shit what Erwin Rommel ate for breakfast on june 6th, 1944?). You can't get away with the "they'll just look it up on Wikipedia" excuse if your book was published before wikipedia was even close to being invented.
also: I am surprised that Roast Beef is not bothered that Ray is calling his lady basically a hoochie momma. for some reason this reminds me of a time a friend tried to compliment me by talking for an extended period of time about how wonderful my girlfriend's rear end is. Sometimes, fellows do not know when they cross the line from Helping to... not helping.
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Roast Beef is a man who notices patterns, a man who makes connections. I love Roast Beef.
So what happens is, I end up reading something like this and somehow making a connection to troops landing at Normandy.
When I'm up late doing math homework I tend to conflate the problem I'm trying to solve with the larger problem of staying awake. Once while up doing an assignment about Lie groups I groggily looked at my clock and thought, "Aha! The readout on this device tells me that time itself is a Lie group, therefore there's absolutely no reason why I shouldn't go to sleep right now."
Edit: A Lie group is just some random math thing, you don't need to know what it is to get what I'm saying here. To make this comment less annoying to read, try picking any key word or phrase from your discipline of choice and substituting it for "Lie group." Example: "Once while up doing an assignment about the battle of Normandy I groggily looked at my clock and thought, 'Aha! The readout on this device tells me that time itself is the battle of Normandy, therefore...'"
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You sir (theinevitable), just made me go on a wikipedia expedition that went through the history of barbed wire, razor wire, concertina wire, world war 1, chain link fences, safety razors, and chicken wire (the last of which came with the quote, "Psychologist Harry Harlow used chicken wire to create "surrogate mothers" for rhesus monkeys. In experiments, the wire "mothers" tended to inspire less affection than cloth "mothers" despite being equipped with "nipples" supplying milk."). In short, much was learned about things I never really expected to, and various weird things ensued. I still have about eight tabs to browse through, and I hope I mange to peruse them before the sun comes up. And it's all your fault!
Or no, it's mine, because this always happens whenever I visit wikipedia, or any site like it.
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Oh, and I just realized this:
or to bring it all back home, the slut's cooch is like a small bunker surrounded by concertina wire, and then you blast that shit off with a bangalore torpedo (ie, the fake-bling.)
is not the first time I've heard someone make an analogy between seduction and D-day. The other analogy made the claim that both scenarios require careful, furtive planning followed by a swift surprise attack. I don't know much about military history or about getting with hoochie mamas, so I'm not sure whether strategy or technology is the more important element in either case.
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Concertina wire is barbed wire wrapped in long coils which are then laid across the area which is to be protected.
Bangalore torpedos are explosives shot through very long pipes which can be directed at or under obstacles such as concertina wire.
The number of men in a division (about 10,000) hardly seems inane. I think it's a highly relevant fact to know whether D-day involved 1500 men or 150,000.
Jesus dude, watch The Longest Day. It's all right there...
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Jewelry comes in little black boxes. What the heck is Ray talking about?
I'm not expected a blog entry from Molly telling us that she's been dropping crazy hints but Beef is oblivious and will end up getting her some hot dogs and "fancy" ketchup or something.
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Roast Beef is a man who notices patterns, a man who makes connections. I love Roast Beef.
When I'm up late doing math homework I tend to conflate the problem I'm trying to solve with the larger problem of staying awake. Once while up doing an assignment about Lie groups I groggily looked at my clock and thought, "Aha! The readout on this device tells me that time itself is a Lie group, therefore there's absolutely no reason why I shouldn't go to sleep right now."
Edit: A Lie group is just some random math thing, you don't need to know what it is to get what I'm saying here. To make this comment less annoying to read, try picking any key word or phrase from your discipline of choice and substituting it for "Lie group." Example: "Once while up doing an assignment about the battle of Normandy I groggily looked at my clock and thought, 'Aha! The readout on this device tells me that time itself is the battle of Normandy, therefore...'"
Man I was just reading about Lie groups and then I decided to read comics for the day. I did not expect to find Lie groups hiding in wait for me again.
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I also barely understand this strip, and I sure don't understand this thread, but, hey, no problem.
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I shouldn't be surprised anymore that Ray's thong has motion lines in the fourth panel.
Why is it called "tight math"? Wouldn't hoochie mama-related arithmetic be better named something else?
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Jewelry comes in little black boxes. What the heck is Ray talking about?
Tiffany jewelry comes in light blue boxes.
Just to... be different, I guess.
As if to separate themselves out from the kinda-rich, firmly planting themselves in the realm of the insanely rich.
As if to say "you thought it was going to be a black box? that's so cute, I bet you only have one yacht."
The ways being happy about being rich quickly turns into fighting even harder than ever to prove that you're richer than other rich people is both fascinating and disgusting.
The human condition is suffering.
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I am waiting to discover the topic upon which LFM cannot wax philosophical. The color of jewelry boxes is still not it. Giraffe placenta, anyone?
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We all have our gifts.
Rainman can count things.
Superman can lift things.
I can ramble about things while trying to be funny until I eventually end up trying to make a point about something... and not stop until I get there, despite myself. All I can ask, I guess, is for the internet to understand that it comes from a place of scatterbrainedness and not from a place of pompousity.
As for giraffe placenta:
All I can think of is the old Toys R Us mascot Geoffery and... the fact that he is barely a part of their advertising anymore. Maybe just as a giraffe drawing in the background, nothing more. Remember when he used to talk and everything? And he had nephew giraffes (all cartoons seem to have nephews who are slightly-hipper versions of themselves) that skateboarded but always in full safety gear?
I'm pretty sure that, actually, before my time he had all other sorts of animal friends and they talked too and the whole schmear. I'm pretty sure that by the time a Toys R Us came out to podunk Utica when I was a kid, the other zooland friends were still... around... but didn't talk anymore. It was definitely Geoffery's show at that point.
I miss those... goofy shaggy-dog kinds of advertising campaigns, you know? "Well, it's a bunch of animals and they talk. Kids love animals that talk." Certainly, the world was always a place of cynical consumerism but... there was something about a time when the whole deal was a lot more slapdash.
A lot less polished, a lot less thought-out. There was... room in the cracks between the sales pitches to create actual characters, actual fun, actual... just weirdness. Good weirdness.
Everything's so goddamn on-point these days. Preplanned and homogenized. De-regionalized, let alone de-localized. You wanna promote your toy store? Well, we've got a giraffe suit... go for it. We need a kids show at 7:30... get the weekend anchor, give him some puppets, lets do it.
I feel like the whole problem isn't necessarily that we've run out of ideas as a culture, we're just so obsessed with what works... and what will work for the maximum number of people... that we're losing the strange mistakes and rush-jobs that used to actually build into a shared popular culture.
I miss works-in-progress.
(This was all I could come up with on short notice. I have failed you, internet.)
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I can ramble about things while trying to be funny until I eventually end up trying to make a point about something... and not stop until I get there, despite myself. All I can ask, I guess, is for the internet to understand that it comes from a place of scatterbrainedness and not from a place of pompousity.
I, for one, accept that I am a pompous ass. I don't know how my friends and associates tolerate my pedantry.
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I regularly have conversations with my friend, who is currently working towards some sort of hellish humanities major which involves basically reading every important work of western literature each semester, where I make comments to the effect of "it isn't the same in english... you should read the Aeneid in the original Latin."
so I guess I win some kind of award.
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I regularly have conversations with my friend, who is currently working towards some sort of hellish humanities major which involves basically reading every important work of western literature each semester, where I make comments to the effect of "it isn't the same in english... you should read the Aeneid in the original Latin."
so I guess I win some kind of award.
I was actually excited because I just found out that Fagles did a translation of the Aeneid. I really enjoyed his Iliad & Odyssey. Damn that's geeky.
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See, I don't think that Ray is actually implying that Molly is a hoochie. I think he just automatically lumps Molly in with all other women of his experience, many of which are hoochies, but all of whom fall into one of two categories: "women Ray might want to have sex with" and "women who are Ray's mom or otherwise off-limits for sex." Since Molly is roughly of Ray's age and moderately attractive, she's in the first category despite the fact that she is Beef's girlfriend and also probably would not have sex with Ray if he were the last cat on Earth. (He couldn't even get away with the propagation excuse; neutered, remember?) This causes him to default to the "gift that seems expensive and will probably get the lady to have sex with you" idea.
Also, remember that Ray is not the best judge for gifts related to Beef and Molly's sex life. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005)
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(He couldn't even get away with the propagation excuse; neutered, remember?)
That's what I love about this board. The attention to detail.
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See, I don't think that Ray is actually implying that Molly is a hoochie. I think he just automatically lumps Molly in with all other women of his experience, many of which are hoochies, but all of whom fall into one of two categories: "women Ray might want to have sex with" and "women who are Ray's mom or otherwise off-limits for sex." Since Molly is roughly of Ray's age and moderately attractive, she's in the first category despite the fact that she is Beef's girlfriend and also probably would not have sex with Ray if he were the last cat on Earth. (He couldn't even get away with the propagation excuse; neutered, remember?) This causes him to default to the "gift that seems expensive and will probably get the lady to have sex with you" idea.
Also, remember that Ray is not the best judge for gifts related to Beef and Molly's sex life. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005)
I think Ray's neutering took place before The Great Continuity Shift so we can't actually rely on it anymore. You're proposed category system for women in Ray's life reminds me of Belkar's proto-brain (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0335.html).
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Man I was just reading about Lie groups and then I decided to read comics for the day. I did not expect to find Lie groups hiding in wait for me again.
Whoa, crazy. I think it's a sign from god that you should either do more math or read more comics.
stuff about a corporate mascot paradigm shift
I think the most orwellian corporate mascot paradigm shift is the one where grimace (of mcdonalds) went from having four arms to two arms, and then the mcdonalds advertisers were all, "What are you crazy kids talking about? Grimace has always had two arms. Just like we've always been at war with eastasia."
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I think the most Orwellian corporate mascot paradigm shift is the one where grimace (of Mcdonalds) went from having four arms to two arms, and then the Mcdonalds advertisers were all, "What are you crazy kids talking about? Grimace has always had two arms. Just like we've always been at war with Eastasia."
Little known fact: Underneath the plaque emblazoned on the "Staff Room" door at your local MaccyD's you will find the inscription "Room 101".
Further trivia: You know those big screens with the backlit menu offering you the latest family size deals? Telescreens.
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The Grimace is also, like, a good guy now for some reason.
I definitely remember, in the very back of my mind before the last Crisis On Infinite Popular Cultures, that The Grimace was definitely a bad guy. And not just a bumbling thief like the Hamburglar. A real bad guy. Hence the name. The Grimace.
The Grimace was evil. Nothing could stop The Grimace.
Now he's just... Grimace. Are these two different people?
Was The Grimace lobotomized and surgically altered to a more anthropomorphic form?
If he stopped being a bad guy, why was he still named Grimace? That isn't a good guy name at all.
I would question more but the word "grimace" has lost all meaning and it looks like a nonsense word after typing it so many times.
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The Evil Grimace was indeed an unpleasant state of mind which could only be combatted by delicious McDonald's milk-shakes. I guess that unlike the Hamburglar his hunger was finally sated and now he's left with an inappropriate name and a puppylike devotion to his former arch-enemy.
That, or Birdie used her mystical powers to alter his mind so that he would "reform" from evil, and when Hamburglar exposes this to the rest of the mascots it will create a rift in the mascot community that prompts a multi-year-long crossover event in which at least two popular characters will die unnecessarily.
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Now I can't even remember if the Fry Guys used to steal french fries or if they just really really like them like Cookie Monster.
I want to think they used to trick Ronald out of fries or at distract him into setting them down and wandering away but now I think it may be a false memory brought on my this thread.
Also, did the hamburger cop have a name?
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Also, did the hamburger cop have a name?
Big Mac.
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See, I saw it as more of a Multiple Earths thing...
Four-armed evil Grimace being an ally of Ultra-Man, Owlman, Superwoman in the antimatter universe... Earth-3, I think it was.
Good Grimace probably... with his cartoonishness, not even being from Earth-1 but probably from the Justice Society's kinder simpler Earth-2 or... even Shazam's Earth-S?
But that totally works too.
Grimace as a Catwoman/Dr. Light figure totally works too.
(I am a huge dork.)
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But how do you reconcile the Burger King Universe into this cosmolgy? And what of the Burger King Kids Club Kids? Marvel vs Dc?
I justify this post 'cause the BK King has Bling, just like the topic at hand. Also Ray likes fast food. Try to tell me different, I dares ya.
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I was always baffled at the sheer number of characters in the BK Kids Club compared to the almost-nonexistent use of them in advertising. Was there some massive BK Kids Club mythos I just never encountered, or did they make way more characters than strictly necessary?
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See, I saw it as more of a Multiple Earths thing...
Four-armed evil Grimace being an ally of Ultra-Man, Owlman, Superwoman in the antimatter universe... Earth-3, I think it was.
Good Grimace probably... with his cartoonishness, not even being from Earth-1 but probably from the Justice Society's kinder simpler Earth-2 or... even Shazam's Earth-S?
Earth-S is possible, but I vote Earth-C. And Earth-3 was the one with the Crime Syndicate, but it wasn't made of antimatter. The antimatter universe was Qward.
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Classically, yes, Qward is in the "anti-matter universe"... but there have been multiple times when Earth-3 was called "The Anti-Matter Universe". Hell, there were times it was called Earth-2. Times pretty much when the editors weren't paying attention or were confused by the whole "DC Continuity is Completely Screwed" thing, sure... but times nonetheless.
(How have I ever had sex?)
EDIT:
Wikipedia (that bastion of truthiness, of course) seems to back me up.
It appears that after the Crisis, creators who wanted to have The Crime Syndicate of America in their stories without directly denying the Crisis... putting the former "Earth-3" villians in an "anti-matter universe" that somehow didn't violate the Crisis because, uh, it didn't have a "number". It was "anti-matter."
Later retcons seem to have conflated the idea, putting both the Qward weaponers AND the Earth-3 villians in the same "anti-matter" universe.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth-3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth-3)
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Discovery of the evening:
Truthy or no, wikipedia has pretty good coverage of college-level abstract math.
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Also, wikipedia has very extensive coverage of the term camel-toe.
It has everything. It is like it's own micro-internet.
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Unfortunately, though, it currently lacks an entry for the term 'micro-internet'. If there was an entry, the text need only consist of one phrase: look around you.
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Classically, yes, Qward is in the "anti-matter universe"... but there have been multiple times when Earth-3 was called "The Anti-Matter Universe". Hell, there were times it was called Earth-2. Times pretty much when the editors weren't paying attention or were confused by the whole "DC Continuity is Completely Screwed" thing, sure... but times nonetheless.
(How have I ever had sex?)
EDIT:
Wikipedia (that bastion of truthiness, of course) seems to back me up.
It appears that after the Crisis, creators who wanted to have The Crime Syndicate of America in their stories without directly denying the Crisis... putting the former "Earth-3" villians in an "anti-matter universe" that somehow didn't violate the Crisis because, uh, it didn't have a "number". It was "anti-matter."
Later retcons seem to have conflated the idea, putting both the Qward weaponers AND the Earth-3 villians in the same "anti-matter" universe.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth-3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth-3)
I don't need Wikipedia for this one because I am a colossal comics dork. Grant Morrison specifically wanted to revive the Crime Syndicate post-Zero Hour (he loves the Syndicate and had done it before in Animal Man, in a non-permanent way) and so wrote a Justice League story titled "Earth-Two" in which the new version of Qward/Earth-3 is revealed. Qward is a planet within this alternate universe occupying the position of the main universe's Oa (later revealed in Green Lantern as the new-canon source of Sinestro's yellow power ring), while the Earth is ruled by the Crime Syndicate of Amerika. In this story, it is the Justice League's Earth that is named Earth-Two, the existence of the two Earths having been discovered by the other world's Lex Luthor.
However, Earth-3 has never been made of antimatter and called Earth-3 at the same time. Except for a very, very short time during the Crisis, and that wasn't so much "made of" as "forcibly filled with".
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Now I can't even remember if the Fry Guys used to steal french fries or if they just really really like them like Cookie Monster.
I want to think they used to trick Ronald out of fries or at distract him into setting them down and wandering away but now I think it may be a false memory brought on my this thread.
They stole the shit out of some french fries.
"Keep your eyes on your fries" I believe was the saying.
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Whoa, crazy. I think it's a sign from god that you should either do more math or read more comics.
I'ma play it safe and do both.