The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Limmo on December 01, 2006, 06:36:34 am
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Link. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12012006)
I tried this once in college. It didn't work.
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yeah, your roommate can always tell what is going on.
also: this one time, I was watching "Un Chien Andalou" for a class. My roommate turned around at the part where the guy is fondling a naked breast.
a few days later, I was telling him about the film, and mentioned that part. He told me that he didn't want to say anything at the time, but he was under the impression that I was watching some kind of weird antique porn.
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Two years of college were spent with a roommate, over and over, trying to trick me into thinking I'd walked in on him jerking off. I'd walk in and he'd quickly pull a blanket up over himself and act like he was trying to change the subject...
And then throw the blanket away to reveal himself fully clothed. And then he'd laugh maniacally.
Happily, I was weird enough to make that pretty much even.
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I was the only one of my roomates with an internet-capable computer, but due to dial-up I didn't spend all that much time with "teh pr0n" as the kids say.
Though come to think of it, it is the first of the month, isn't it? I should watch some porn pay rent.
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Two years of college were spent with a roommate, over and over, trying to trick me into thinking I'd walked in on him jerking off. I'd walk in and he'd quickly pull a blanket up over himself and act like he was trying to change the subject...
And then throw the blanket away to reveal himself fully clothed. And then he'd laugh maniacally.
Happily, I was weird enough to make that pretty much even.
That man is a genius. He keeps doing that enough and soon enough can masturbate any dang time he pleases, because when you walk in on him, he just throws a towel on himself and you assume he's joking yet again. Brilliant!
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Wow.
I thought I was pretty good at porn, as far as these things go.
But I had no idea what the towel meant
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We're all ignoring one of the most fundamental questions:
Why in God's name is Lyle wearing a hat?
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His porno hat.
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His porno hat.
Exactly. Ray has his blogging crown, Lyle has a porno cap. Philippe presumably has a Learn to Type with Mario visor.
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Exactly. Ray has his blogging crown, Lyle has a porno cap. Philippe presumably has a Learn to Type with Mario visor.
Beef does NOT, however, have any type of purpose-specific garment because he buried it in the yard.
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Man, that hat. I swear that at first glance I thought I was looking at a Tiny Toons version of Lyle.
I presume it's "Chris Onstad" who's talking to the pornophile tiger?
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That man is a genius. He keeps doing that enough and soon enough can masturbate any dang time he pleases, because when you walk in on him, he just throws a towel on himself and you assume he's joking yet again. Brilliant!
Well, he WAS a psychology major...
Even though he ended up a sports reporter and then a dude who goes and sleuths out car wrecks for an insurance company.
I never actually saw him looking at porn. He watched a lot of Highlander episodes and old tapes of Dolphins games.
I'm not sure if this was actually his pornography. He's engaged to a woman... but what does that mean these days?
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I never actually saw him looking at porn. He watched a lot of Highlander episodes and old tapes of Dolphins games.
I'm not sure if this was actually his pornography. He's engaged to a woman... but what does that mean these days?
I'm going to Sea-World!
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I thought Lyle was using the towel to block out non-porn visuals in his peripheral vision because the hand-blinders he tried in panel 8 were ineffective. It's the Hunts version of the little hood that NFL refs use when they're checking out the video evidence after a coach throws the red challenge flag.
Also, "hand-blinder" sounds like a veiled euphemism for you-know-what.
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Also, "hand-blinder" sounds like a veiled euphemism for you-know-what.
A Three Stooges eye-poke?
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I thought Lyle was using the towel to block out non-porn visuals in his peripheral vision because the hand-blinders he tried in panel 8 were ineffective.
That was my take, too.
Also, "hand-blinder" sounds like a veiled euphemism for you-know-what.
You mean,
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Clearing the snorkel
Dating Somebody nice Palm and her five sisters
Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love
Fiddling the flesh flute
Flogging the log
Liquidating the inventory
Packing your palm
Playing a little five-on-one
Priming the pump
Pumping the python
Running off a batch by hand
Scour the tower of power
Smiting the bishop
Tenderizing the tube steak
Waxing the dolphin
or Wrestling the bald man?
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I prefer the phrase 'Shaking hands with the unemployed'
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"Hand-to-gland combat".
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My favourite euphemism has to be "Playing the Pink Floyd guitar solo"
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"the ol' high school cry-and-fall-asleep"
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Rattle the saber
Awaken the dragon
Smite untold thousands
Support local industry
Flummox the Quizmaster
Bejewel the scepter
Reboot the matrix
Fry a sausage
Spread my mat and meditate on England
Rub one out
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He's NOT jerking off, he's got both hands on the blanket. That raises the question, what IS he doing?
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Looking at pornography? That is what he loves to do.
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The truest appreciator of pornography does not masturbate to pornography at all.
He or (less likely?) she simply drinks in the debasement and smiles upon it knowingly.
The true pornographist sees not cheap titilation and release, rather sees the human race as an elaborate joke and sexhibitionism as the final and greatest joke.
Us, we're amateurs getting turned on by things.
The Lyles of the world are numb to everything but the schadenfreude that is revulsion.
This is my younger cousin Ryan's point-of-view, anyway, and I am ashamed to admit that I not even making this up. This is his real theory, he's laid it out for me. He says that the thrill he gets from strip clubs is not the thrill of seeing people naked and dancing around but in seeing someone give up the last sacred things about themselves for, like, a rumpled-up fiver.
His myspace tagline is "I'm into fuck*ng". But without the asterix.
Suffice it to say, Cousin Ryan is from Circumstances.
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Jesus you are cool.
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Alternate theory: Lyle has perfected no-handed masturbation.
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Alternate theory: Lyle has perfected no-handed masturbation.
Or research for his own triumphant return to the business.
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or, he's just getting through his quota for the day.
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He says that the thrill he gets from strip clubs is not the thrill of seeing people naked and dancing around but in seeing someone give up the last sacred things about themselves for, like, a rumpled-up fiver.
sweet jesus fuck, that's some rough chuckles for you...
also "shaking hands with the unemployed" is the perfect simile, hand down.