The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: Fooker on January 03, 2007, 03:50:55 am
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So, I ran out to get a snack in between a marathon coding session, and I made a huge mistake.
I decided I wanted something sort of crunchy and delicious. I got Mint Oreos. (Apparently the double "stuf" variety. this comes in later)
This is a mistake I have made before and forgotten about. It's not like Doritos (another mistake I make now and then just to remind myself why I hardly ever eat them) because with Doritos I can usually eat half a bag before starting to realize that eating them is no longer fun.
These things are so sugary they hurt my teeth, and I like ice cream and pie and things like that. I don't eat a lot of cookies or super sugary things but it's not like I avoid sweet stuff either. My teeth hurt and my throat stung from the sugar. At least now I know why 50% of Americans are fatasses and probably 80% are going to have some kind of Diabetes.
GOD DAMNIT. THESE THINGS ARE IN-fuck*ng-EDIBLE. There's also the matter of the "double stuf" making it so that there is double the amount of disgustingly sweet tangy chemical-articial mint flavored goop making them impossible to eat. I've managed to eat maybe six out of a package. The wafers, when twisted away from the side with the goop, are marginally delicious with milk; milk that did NOTHING to make these little mint dingleberries from satans asshole tasty or pleasing.
Why in the hell couldn't I have just gotten tacos?
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The best part about Double Stuff Oreos is, like, eating the lids off two... and combining them.
And then eating the lid off THAT... and combining it with a THIRD...
Basically rinsing and repeating the process until a cookie breaks in a way in which you can't make your stack of Sugar Lard anymore. And then you eat that leaning tower of Sugar Lard. And then you end up fat but OH what a ride along the way.
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Trader Joe's had these (seasonal, I think) cookies that were basically store-brand Oreos but with little chunks of peppermint candy suspended in the sugar-creme stuff. Very tasty.
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Cookies are real good and there are always so many of them.
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The best part about Double Stuff Oreos is, like, eating the lids off two... and combining them.
And then eating the lid off THAT... and combining it with a THIRD...
Basically rinsing and repeating the process until a cookie breaks in a way in which you can't make your stack of Sugar Lard anymore. And then you eat that leaning tower of Sugar Lard. And then you end up fat but OH what a ride along the way.
This reminds me of when I was like 6 and I decided that if "everything tastes better on a Ritz" then multiple stacked Ritz crackers must be super-delicious. Sadly life does not work this way and any existing tastyness cancels out.
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This just in: Insulin just won the "Greatest Canadian Invention" compition.
When I was a kid, my absolute favorite cookies were Grasshopper cookies, which were like a 100% better version of the Mint Oreos. They had a violently green icing in the middle, and my sister used to always bug me that it was green because of the ground up grasshoppers in them. She seriously taunted me to the point where I was anxious that there would be bug bits... But still I loved them, and I wish they were still on the market. Sigh.
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This just in: Insulin just won the "Greatest Canadian Invention" compition.
When I was a kid, my absolute favorite cookies were Grasshopper cookies, which were like a 100% better version of the Mint Oreos. They had a violently green icing in the middle, and my sister used to always bug me that it was green because of the ground up grasshoppers in them. She seriously taunted me to the point where I was anxious that there would be bug bits... But still I loved them, and I wish they were still on the market. Sigh.
IIRC before they stopped selling them Grasshoppers were briefly switched from mint Orees into Thin Mints.
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This just in: Insulin just won the "Greatest Canadian Invention" compition.
When I was a kid, my absolute favorite cookies were Grasshopper cookies, which were like a 100% better version of the Mint Oreos. They had a violently green icing in the middle, and my sister used to always bug me that it was green because of the ground up grasshoppers in them. She seriously taunted me to the point where I was anxious that there would be bug bits... But still I loved them, and I wish they were still on the market. Sigh.
Oh my gosh! This is so close to my childhood that it's scary. Rock on, Grasshopper Cookies. I pour one out for you.
I think that Oreos are some kind of cruel joke. Why did you guys have to put lard in there. And Crisco isn't any better, judging from all the hype about Trans Fats these days. It is sick and wrong that they taste so delicious with milk. And I'm back on the Hacker's Diet again (http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/) so I won't be having any more cookies for a long-ass time.