The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: melack on January 24, 2007, 06:41:12 am
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Re: Teodor seeking fresh dill.
I was at the Whole Foods in San Mateo not too long ago. I needed help finding something, but the person working there was an older dude with a mustache. Thankfully, he did not flirt with me.
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"Jesus Christ on God Mountain" is now officially the greatest curse-phrase ever.
Officially. I have a rubber stamp, you just can't see it because it's the internet.
The previous champion was "fuckerhead". But fuckerhead's day is now past.
Goodbye, fuckerhead... hello, Jesus Christ on God Mountain. Officially.
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I do the same thing as Teodor. Constantly.
So the greatest day of my life was a few weeks ago, when the cute girl behind the counter was my girlfriend. All wearing a little tank-top and an apron... all hair back in a little ponytail so it wouldn't be in the way... all wearing her glasses because she was tired...
(edit: I realize now that it is physically impossible for her hair to have been in a ponytail... it is way too short. weird that I remember it that way.)
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I can't believe Teodor willingly went to San Mateo. San Mateo has topiary everywhere, and gigantic signs plastered on the roads saying "Don't ever drive faster than 25mph, ever. And try not to be too weird." It's just not worth it, that town is much more bad than dill is good.
But yeah, hippie girls working at grocery stores are hot, and I like the idea of Teodor suggestively lingering in the produce area. It's a good tactic. Next time I want to hit on someone I'll just run to the nearest produce area and linger there. Suggestively.
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What, no love for Frederick Dumplington the Third? That's easily the finest name for a corgi ever.
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I started out thinking "Oh Teodor he is just so tedious" but OK, that was pretty funny.
Also, I have nearly daily opportunity to leave Whole Foods saying "JESUS CHRIST ON GOD MOUNTAIN IS THAT PLACE EXPENSIVE!" It will feel so much better now.
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Fresh dill is hard to find in Cal? Jeez T, just go buy yourself a packet of seeds -- the stuff grows like a weed. see also: cilantro (coriander).
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What, no love for Frederick Dumplington the Third? That's easily the finest name for a corgi ever.
Agreed.
However; I am highly disturbed that the stuffed otter lives with humanistic cats, but a dog is just a dog.
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Agreed.
However; I am highly disturbed that the stuffed otter lives with humanistic cats, but a dog is just a dog.
A dog is like a Neanderthal compared to regular animals (http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?date=05112004&allnav=1).
The Whole Foods by me currently has a big sign in the window that compares receipts and proves that it's cheaper than Trader Joe's. Although it's so faded you can't actually read anything.
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The Whole Foods by me currently has a big sign in the window that compares receipts and proves that it's cheaper than Trader Joe's.
So does mine. I haven't really looked at it because I am sure my brain would explode from data-manipulation fury. I'm sure you could make it work by picking exactly the right items, but I shop at both often enough to know that in real life a bag of groceries at TJ's costs on average half what it costs at WF.
No one ever grabs my hand at either place, though. I suppose this is just as well because chances are I would slap them.
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It was nice to read about some ache-world dog interaction that was pleasant instead of all "I HAVE RABIES AND WILL SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH" todd t squirrel style. Plus, corgis are Okey dokey.
As far as T: what a blowjob. I want his adventures as Herschel Schviz-Meskewicz documented, the fuck*ng welsher. He's getting better though, perkiness and rad thighs are a better goal than what he's been chasing.
(ideas to things, fantasy vs. tangible)
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A dog is like a Neanderthal compared to regular animals (http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?date=05112004&allnav=1).
What about Scrambles? (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012002)
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What about Scrambles?
You have to ask it like an SAT question.
Scrambles is to Achewood as... Eegah is to normal people.
Or Encino Man. Or any numbers of examples of exceptional cavemen reaching their hand out toward the brass ring of humanity and...
Missing by *this* much. Very very close. By as little as you can and still miss completely.
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I think that Scrambles was just a mentally deficient schoolchild in a daypack who got lost and was suffering separation anxiety. I can't really come up with a good analogy.
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It definitely seems like dogs in Achewood fall into one of two categories:
1. Retarded and naive (see: Scrambles)
2. Portent of doom (see: Magreaux)
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Oh! One more category:
3. Lovestruck rapper (see: Heartbeatzz)
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Heartbeatzzz is possibly my... funniest pick? I laugh so hard every time I think of that dog.
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Yeah, and apparently the first type also enjoy wearing retarded sweaters and playing poker badly.
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Yeah, and also, isn't Trouble Man (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06142004) a dog? If so this is another category: old-timey secret knowledge guy. (I don't know why, but I always imagined Trouble Man as having a voice like Billy Bob Thorton did in sling blade.)
This is what I mean. This is what bothers me. Mostly because if dogs are on the level of thinking, knowing beings, then Frederick Dumplington the Third is... like... molesting Phillipe.
Also: Corgi (http://www.zippyweb.com/scrapbook/).
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Ray cleans his rims with Chivas. That is ballin'.
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"He got himself a job drivin' pizzas around (for delivery)" as opposed to just a nice Sunday drive I suppose. Or being Pizza the Hut's limo driver.
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wait, so, what is the perk of LN's job? Does the boss normally take tips? I feel like that is the opposite of a tip.
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I was afraid to click on LN's blog. I assumed it would be more salacious. (Note: board spell check knows the word 'salacious' but not the word 'blog.')
But hey, isn't it February?
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Or being Pizza the Hut's limo driver.
ROFL. I've got to netflix that movie now. Battlestar Galactica will have to wait! Huh, spell check doesn't recognize "battlestar" or "galactica". Or "spellcheck".
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Beef distills Machiavelli down to two sentences: Holy mother of clams is worrying about being rude not the right way to step out into the world. The world is rude as shit and if you ain't adoptin' the party line then they are just gonna use every part of you but the squeal.
A slow clap for Onstad.
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Yeah, good Beef blog after two months of silence.
I actually got downsold at the Apple store, so I had to not buy a laptop and leave the store. I was going to get a MacBook Pro and after talking with a "genius" there he said "You don't want a MacBook Pro. You need a MacBook, and unless you want to pay a premium just for the colour, get the white one."
Seriously, I was so taken aback and not sure I trusted his words that I had to leave the store to drop back and punt and do more research.
Turns out the little smug fucker was right. The MacBook is exactly the right size for me, and will do everything I need it to do. Plus, I like the looks better than the Pro anyway.
So the dude basically just saved me $700.
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goddamn I want me a sweet little Macbook.
But that is basically ridiculous, because I have an almost-brand-new computer right now. I just didn't realize until I messed around with my friend's Macbook how awesome they are.
Damn, my dad totally wanted me to buy a Mac, too.
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Well, you can basically make a MacBook as good as a macbook pro, unless you were getting an awesome macbook pro. Plus, it might actually scratch less.
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wait, so, what is the perk of LN's job? Does the boss normally take tips? I feel like that is the opposite of a tip.
Having never delivered pizza myself I'm guessing that places pool normally pool tips, take a cut, or make some effort to record them for taxes
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Having never delivered pizza myself I'm guessing that places pool normally pool tips, take a cut, or make some effort to record them for taxes
None of the places that Mrs. West or I have delivered for (or managed, in Mrs. West's case) have ever pool delivery driver tips, taken a cut or kept any record. Chains represented include: Papa John's, Domino's, Pantera's, Godfathers and at least two independents.
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None of the places that Mrs. West or I have delivered for (or managed, in Mrs. West's case) have ever pool delivery driver tips, taken a cut or kept any record. Chains represented include: Papa John's, Domino's, Pantera's, Godfathers and at least two independents.
Then I'm even more confused. What's LN's point then?
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Beat's me.
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I think the only time places pool tips is when there is a purpose, like the busboy-waiter relationship.
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Turns out the little smug fucker was right. The MacBook is exactly the right size for me, and will do everything I need it to do. Plus, I like the looks better than the Pro anyway.
So he gets points for integrity, right? I mean - he's not selling hamburgers, he's selling stuff you have to drop a serious chunk of change on. In my book that makes him a better salesman, and someone I'm more likely to go to next time I'm buying complicated expensive stuff.
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LN's bonus is that he gets to eat hell of za fo frizzle (as much free pizza as he wants)
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Then I'm even more confused. What's LN's point then?
It's really very simple. The restaurant management makes no effort to get their drivers to report their tips to the IRS. So it's 12k free and clear--no taxes.