The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Drygioni on February 05, 2007, 07:57:20 am
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007)
This strip explains why all those golfing, giraffeing and hunting magazines stay in business even with an average issue size of 300 pages. No offence to any people who pursue these pretty healthy activities.
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wow, I dig how you single out a dude as being the type who would read that magazine.
Also: "I don't know Tostadas. Anymore, that is." is lovely.
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TOSTADA monthly is OK I guess. It DOES fill the gap between issues of BURRITO quarterly
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Man, I just had a RUDE ceviche tostada tonight.
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007)
This strip explains why all those golfing, giraffeing and hunting magazines stay in business even with an average issue size of 300 pages. No offence to any people who pursue these pretty healthy activities.
It's not very healthy for the giraffe, or the deer, or the balls...
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TOSTADA monthly is OK I guess. It DOES fill the gap between issues of BURRITO quarterly
Thank you Onstad and thank you Mr Chee, I now feel able to face the rest of the day.
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achewood makes me hungry.
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02052007)
This strip explains why all those golfing, giraffeing and hunting magazines stay in business even with an average issue size of 300 pages. No offence to any people who pursue these pretty healthy activities.
At least Fit Pregnancy has the excuse of just re-printing the same 9 issues over and over for all eternity. They just have to occasionally update the photos to compesate for changing clothing styles.
Of course how much can people really say on a message board devoted to a daily comic about cats?
Now I really want to re-read the Chewers Quarterly storyline in Calvin & Hobbes.
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I remember in the deleted scene from Shawshank redemption, it shows Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins in Mexico, following their dream to recreate the classic tostadas they knew from their youth, but sadly it was left out because Stephen King was a big tamale fan, and there was a pretty bad conflict about it. If you watch closely, though, when Tim is getting beaten by that gang, the director spliced in a single frame of a steaming tamale and a man choking, with the words "Inferior meal" written underneath.
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Oh coldfrog you are the shit.
Also, I am hungry for tostadas now.
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It's not very healthy for the giraffe, or the deer, or the balls...
I did intend for a hint of sarcasm but it seems it wasn't conveyed clearly enough. Unless you are just making a joke, in which case I've royally fucked that up.
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Is there a time when Bobby isn't making a joke?
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Occasionally I have picked a magazine off the rack based on some phrase printed on the cover in hopes of reading an article based on said phrase. It seems though that sometimes these phrases have little to do with that month's actual content - they're more of a sketch of the "mission statement" or whatever. I find this practice annoying.
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Is "Tostada" magazine the cat equivalent of "Cat Fancy"?
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Is "Tostada" magazine the cat equivalent of "Cat Fancy"?
Because cats dress up tostadas in little outfits and take them to competitions where the most inbred tostada wins a ribbon?
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goddamn, some Mexican food would kill right now.
I was about to complain that I don't have time to get lunch today... and then I realized that that is because I chose to spend my 1-hour break in the library, looking at websites.
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Yeah. We are all like the lab rat in the cage who just presses the "cocaine" button all day and forgets to eat.
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TOSTADA monthly is OK I guess. It DOES fill the gap between issues of BURRITO quarterly
I have long thought about writing a blog that was just about burritos. Every time I went out for a burrito, I'd post about it. It would be called "Burrito Jones."
Never quite gotten around to it. I'm sure it's already been done.
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I was about to complain that I don't have time to get lunch today... and then I realized that that is because I chose to spend my 1-hour break in the library, looking at websites.
Inev, I think this may answer the question you posted elsewhere - if you are forgetting to eat then yes, you are posting too much.
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no, I wasn't forgetting to eat. I normally eat during that time-- I didn't because I actually had to do some work to prepare for a class.
...which probably was because I went to internet sites instead of doing the work yesterday.
also: I am in love with the Soup/Sandwich combination. This is surely one of humanity's greatest accomplishments.
Potato soup with a ham sandwich. good lord.
edit: it figures that the one day I mention it, the soup is watery and sub-par. Bad show, Hilltop Cafe. Bad show.
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This is what separates Ray Smuckles from Paris Hilton. Both are what you would call 'idle rich': fabulously wealthy without having really earned it, while completely lacking any sort of a real job. But what does Ray do with his money and his time? He subscribes to a tostada magazine in order to enrich and expand his understanding of the world and its cultures. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton goes around rubbing her pu$$y on anything that moves.
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This is what separates Ray Smuckles from Paris Hilton. Both are what you would call 'idle rich': fabulously wealthy without having really earned it, while completely lacking any sort of a real job. But what does Ray do with his money and his time? He subscribes to a tostada magazine in order to enrich and expand his understanding of the world and its cultures. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton goes around rubbing her pu$$y on anything that moves.
To be fair, Ray would be bonin' everything in sight right now, if it were not for his fear of a heart attack brought on by strenuous physical activity and his gargantuan folds of flab.
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At least Fit Pregnancy has the excuse of just re-printing the same 9 issues over and over for all eternity. They just have to occasionally update the photos to compesate for changing clothing styles.
Suddenly, the idea strikes me that... there must be SOME people who read pregnancy and wedding magazines at times when they are neither pregnant nor getting married. People with five, ten year subscriptions to such periodicals. And I am left with the feeling that I do not want to know those people, probably.
These are probably the things a girl-version of a Nice Pete would do.
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yeah. that kind of reminds me of a thing I read... on somethingawful... one of those "Weekend Web" things.
Where it was a forum for ladies who love having babies. And... would trick men into getting them pregnant?
It was basically what I figured was going on all along, let's be honest. The jig is up, ladies.
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Okay, I confess.
I totally spent nine years tricking Pedro into thinking that he's the love of my life and even married him so that he wouldn't be suspicious. Then I suffered through three years of the best nookie ever just for the purposes of being miserably uncomfortable for nine months and then enduring unspeakable pain to give birth to a helpless, shrieking little insomniac who has grown (so far) into a little hurricane in Stride Rites who still doesn't sleep through the night and frequently interrupts the aforementioned nookie.
Then I convinced Pedro to let me stay home all day, have food thrown at me, and clean poo off the kitchen floor for this child, who has apparently inherited no genetic material whatsoever from his mother, for nine hours a day while Pedro is at his enjoyable, challenging, fulfilling and reasonably well-paid job.
I fooled him good.
Can't wait to do it again.
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Suddenly, the idea strikes me that... there must be SOME people who read pregnancy and wedding magazines at times when they are neither pregnant nor getting married.
My wife and I are the full-custody guardians of my niece, who came to live with us from Georgia at the age of 14. One of the more frightening moments in our getting-to-know each other weeks was when she dumped her backpack full of reading material while looking for a pen or something - it was all bride magazines of some stripe or another.
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This is what separates Ray Smuckles from Paris Hilton. Both are what you would call 'idle rich': fabulously wealthy without having really earned it, while completely lacking any sort of a real job. But what does Ray do with his money and his time? He subscribes to a tostada magazine in order to enrich and expand his understanding of the world and its cultures. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton goes around rubbing her pu$$y on anything that moves.
CAN. ;D
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no, like, for real. The website included such discussions as-- if your husband does not want you to have another baby, is it unethical to... procure a sample from him (I'm sure you can imagine some ways) and then impregnate yourself? The answer of this board was "no, sister, that is your right."
it was scary.
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Bride and pregnancy magazines are like forbidden fruit for someone with a ticking biological clock. I purchased one or two bridal maggies when I was engaged to the crap dude from way back. I won't let myself buy any more, no matter how tempted I am to look through them and piiiiiiine. that's just counterproductive.
I'd really like to get married and possibly have some biological or adopted offspring in the next 5-10 years, but I won't permit myself to buy Alaska Bride (http://www.alaskabride.com/) or Fit Pregnancy (http://www.fitpregnancy.com/) yet. I have to have a reason to buy them. I don't want to bring home a boyfriend and have him glance in my bathroom, see Bride's (http://www.brides.com) or Pregnancy Monthly (http://epregnancy.com/) and freak the hell out.
(fixed link -w)
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man i didn't think it would be so easy to find this (http://www.communitymall.com/serv/ProductDetail.asp?ServItemID=13&DepartmentID=10038&CategoryID=196&BasketID=&MerchantID=15028) on google images right away
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That right there's a can, son! I don't see a credit for that photo on Achewood...
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I will bet that the entire strip wrote itself after seeing that image though. Definitely a questionable tostada. I am not a tostada expert, but that thing, especially in full color, is kind of disconcerting me. Salad, perhaps. But a tostada?
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I'd really like to get married and possibly have some biological or adopted offspring in the next 5-10 years, but I won't permit myself to buy Alaska Bride (http://www.alaskabride.com/)
I am somehow totally creeped out that there is an Alaska Bride magazine. I had to check the website to make sure it didn't help you get mail-order spouses. Maybe I exaggerate the isolation of the place in my mind, I admit.
Of course I am creeped out by the bridal-industrial complex anyway. So much assistance to help you spend so much unnecessary money. As if that were the hard part of marriage.
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I am somehow totally creeped out that there is an Alaska Bride magazine. I had to check the website to make sure it didn't help you get mail-order spouses. Maybe I exaggerate the isolation of the place in my mind, I admit.
Of course I am creeped out by the bridal-industrial complex anyway. So much assistance to help you spend so much unnecessary money. As if that were the hard part of marriage.
We actually bought a couple of the magazines for some handy charts of local reception locations and their rates. Of course we probably could've found this information for free online.
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See, I was also taken aback by the idea of Alaska Bride. I was imagining a really butch women in plaid, wearing a veil and like... gutting a giraffe on a tree stump. I would subscribe to that magazine.
Niche markets are so interesting. Like "Just for Men" beard dye. They advertise the hell out of that stuff, and I always wonder who they're trying to reach. I mean, if you're embarrassed about the colour of our facial hair, why not shave it off? So odd.
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Niche markets are so interesting. Like "Just for Men" beard dye. They advertise the hell out of that stuff, and I always wonder who they're trying to reach. I mean, if you're embarrassed about the colour of our facial hair, why not shave it off? So odd.
To paraphrase Red Green: because it's a beard, not a cocoon. Whatever unpleasantness you grew the beard to cover is still under there, still unpleasant and probably a lot more pale.
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I think it's funny that onstad got a little dig in about intarwub forums.
Ray not only subscribes to Tostada Monthly, he cruises the associated internet forum. And what does it mean that Morgan Freeman's niece is a PA? Physician's Assistant? What does that have to do with tostadas?
Wait, maybe she's a Publisher's Assistant for Tostada Monthly?
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Prolly production assistant. It's an entry level serf type thing, regardless of the nomenclature.
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smells! You reminded me!
Paul, let's say that i wanted to Wax this Shit up. Like maybe one day I wanted to look like Mr. Dali. What is a brand? Where do I buy it? I found all kinds of "Men's" hair-shaping products, but... I don't know.
I also found a product called Texture Dirt (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100707&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod2439061) which really confused me.
There was also a little box of Bald-Head Wipes, Just for Men. Those were scary.
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I also found a product called Texture Dirt (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100707&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod2439061) which really confused me.
I think the idea behind this stuff is essentially the same as conditioner - you wash all the stinky oils and waxes out of your hair with shampoo, then rub on less offensive ones so your hair doesn't drift around in static-induced frizziness.
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smells! You reminded me!
Paul, let's say that i wanted to Wax this Shit up. Like maybe one day I wanted to look like Mr. Dali. What is a brand? Where do I buy it? I found all kinds of "Men's" hair-shaping products, but... I don't know.
I also found a product called Texture Dirt (http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100707&navAction=jump&navCount=0&id=prod2439061) which really confused me.
There was also a little box of Bald-Head Wipes, Just for Men. Those were scary.
As I said in my Hair-Washing thread, I'm a huuuuuge fan of Aveda hair wax called "Self Control." I use this stuff in tiny amounts to smooth down the frizz on my crazy Sicilian hair, which is curly and unruly. It needs something to weigh it down a little bit, or else it goes all over the place.
There's also a hair product called "Dirt" by Jonathan. I haven't tried it yet, though.
I guess that some hipsters want to wash their hair every day, but they want it to look like they haven't washed it?
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Inev: here's some throughly proper advice on mustache wax, including how to make your own! (http://www.handlebarclub.co.uk/waxindex.htm)
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Oooh, inev. You'd better watch out on that mustache wax or you might find yourself return-crushed!
By a married lady!
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True story: I went out seeking a Tostada yesterday, and ended up with a taco salad instead. It was indeed bullshit. And also it was $7. What the hell?
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whoa, um...
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Paul, let's say that i wanted to Wax this Shit up. Like maybe one day I wanted to look like Mr. Dali. What is a brand? Where do I buy it? I found all kinds of "Men's" hair-shaping products, but... I don't know.
Thinking of waxing up? The product I use is called Cubman (http://a1468.g.akamai.net/f/1468/580/1d/pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/15256/300.jpg). Use with Caution. It can be purchased at Sally, but it's also available online.
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No love for Dapper Dan (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/)?
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No love for Dapper Dan (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/)?
Isn't Dapper Dan a pomade?
As in, for the hair on one's head?
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*cough* mah hair mah hair!
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One thing I know:
You don't want Fop.
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This board seems to come full-circle back to haircare a lot.
Is this something that Most People think about or is it some weird demographic quirk of this board?
I rub some Prell on my head in the morning and (usually) comb my hair.
This is as far as my maintenance goes.
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I rub some Prell on my head in the morning and (usually) comb my hair.
Prell? You poofter!
I'm all about Suave, baby.
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I'm all about Suave, baby.
Rico Suave?
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Oh man, Rico Suave is just what I needed this morning. It is a reference that hits the spot for a day when the weather is so cold your skin dies.
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My peers called me Rico Suave when I was a Freshman in High School. But they were referencing the non-flattering Horatio Sanz version. I died a little each day.
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My peers called me Rico Suave when I was a Freshman in High School. But they were referencing the non-flattering Horatio Sanz version. I died a little each day.
If it helps any, I'm pretty sure that a comparison to ANY Rico Suave is probably equally flattering or non-flattering.
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If it helps any, I'm pretty sure that a comparison to ANY Rico Suave is probably equally flattering or non-flattering.
I was in middle school Spanish class when that song came out, and our teacher was all surprised during our introductory Spanish lessons when people knew words like "rich" and "smooth". Apparently 7th grade Spanish teachers don't watch much MTV.
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Rich and Smooth? Was he some kind of Spanish peanut butter salesman?
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I seem to remember him being really skeevy, with lots of gaudy jewelry and scantily clad women. So I guess it's not different from any of the other MTV videos nowadays. Does finding MTV offensive mean that I'm old?
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no, I find it kind of offensive too.
Although lately I kind of love Rap music. Jeez. (Firefox's spellcheck fixes Geez but accepts Jeez. Also: Spellcheck is not a word according to spellcheck.)
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no, I find it kind of offensive too.
Although lately I kind of love Rap music. Jeez. (Firefox's spellcheck fixes Geez but accepts Jeez. Also: Spellcheck is not a word according to spellcheck.)
I guess that makes sense. I've never heard of Gesus.